A/N Sorry about not posting yesterday or the day before. The walls in my house are being torn apart by water, so I totally forgot to write this. I'll try to post more often, especially with Christmas Vacation coming up. :D

Disclaimer: I've tried to win them online, but somehow I did not inherit my grandfather's poker gene. Please don't sue me, because I have about 20 dollars to my name at the moment and it's going towards last-minute Christmas shopping.

-Cath-

"What is it doctor?"

"Well, I performed all the tests we normally do on kidnapping victims, for safety, and there are serious signs of sexual assault."

"Why didn't she tell anyone?"

"Well, that's the interesting part. She doesn't know. We think it's a form of self-induced amnesia that occurs when something traumatic happens. The person's mind simply forgets everything to do with the incident. The person doesn't even know their brain is wiping them of the memories, nor do they have any recollection of the incident. In most cases this is a good thing, as it saves them from remembering the events, but in Sara's case it is probably bad, because she will not be able to testify against that portion of events that happened to her."

"We can still make a case. Does she remember anything else about her kidnapping?"

"Yes, she remembers everything leading up to the kidnapping, and everything that happened afterwards, it's only the assault that she's forgotten."

-Gil-

Ok now I'm really going to kill that bastard.

"Cat I need you to go back to the lab and get a sexual assault kit. Then you have to process her."

"I have one in my trunk, Gil. I'll just get it and take care of this mess. But who's going to tell her?"

"You'd be the best person, Cath. You're her friend, and you're a woman. She may not believe you but you need to tell her so you can process her as soon as possible. "

"Gil, wouldn't you be better, you are her, well… Are you two dating or not?"

Why does she have to do this now, that is about the most insensitive thing she could say.

"Catherine, whether or not Sara and I are together is of little to no significance right now, or any other time for that matter. She needs a woman to give her this information and to process her. She may still have some lingering feelings about the assault even if she doesn't remember it. Her memory may come back and if it does I'm probably one of the last people she would like to see her in a vulnerable state."

"Gil, I don't know what your feelings are for her, but she really cares about you. After all, you're the one she called to pick her up when she got away."

"Cath you're not getting out of this, now do it."

"Yes Gil"

For goodness sake it was harder to get her to do this than it would've been for me to do it myself. And I'd rather do it myself, but if her memories do come back she's going to want to talk to a woman. She might even be afraid of me for all I know.

-Cath-

What kind of a world is it when you have to process your best friend for a sexual assault that she may or may not remember over time? For god sakes why couldn't Gil at least tell her, everyone knows they're together anyway

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Sara?"

"Cat?"

"It's me honey. How are you, besides the obvious?"

"Ok, the doctor keeps looking at me like he expects me to have a psychotic breakdown or something, though. The guy was an amateur; he left the gun in my shoe. Anyone could've gotten away from him. It wasn't even that terrifying."

"Well, the reason everyone's worried about you is that the doctors performed their usual tests on kidnapping victims, you know that, but what they didn't tell you is that you were sexually assaulted."

"That explains a lot. Why isn't she scared?

-Sara-

So, that's why I've been feeling strange and violated. That jerk raped me! But, wait. How come I didn't know?

"Why don't I remember?"

"The doctors said your brain erased the memories so you didn't have to deal with the trauma, but that they may come back now that you're safe."

Oh great, here I was thinking I got off as well as possible, that I didn't even have to remember.

"Sara?"

"Sorry, Cat, I was just thinking. Well, at least I'll be able to testify against him once I remember it. Just nail the bastard for me will ya?"

"Don't worry. If he doesn't get the death penalty for kidnapping and assaulting an officer I have a feeling Grissom will make sure that he gets it anyway, with less legality, and I'll be next in line."

" Thanks, let me guess, you need to process me, right?"

"Well…"

"It's ok, just do it. I want him in jail, or better yet, I want him to meet you and Gil."

"I will personally make sure of that. He deserves it. Let me know if you start remembering while we're doing this, I'll stop."

"Ok"

Suddenly everything her friend was saying and doing faded out and all she could see was her captor, doing things to her that she hoped and thought were not even possible. She remembered pain, screaming, him hitting her over and over until she went limp and he violated her several times. She remembered scratching him and trying to fight back to no avail, and thinking about how she had been trained to fight, but now that the moment was there she could barely move for fear.

-Cath-

Catherine was watching her best friend relive the worst moments of her life right there in the hospital room and there was nothing she could do but watch and wait for the flashback to end. She knew that her friend was reliving her assault.

"Sara? SARA?"

"NO! NO! STOP IT! NO! AAAAAAAAAAAA!"

-Sara-

She suddenly came to the end of her flashback. The worst part of them was it was like it was really happening all over again, and she had no control. She opened her eyes again to see the worried face of her friend standing over her, and suddenly felt ashamed of her weakness.

"I'm so sorry" she sobbed, hoping that Catherine would understand and for a long time all she could do was cry.

"Shh, honey it's ok, it's got to be horrible."

"I couldn't stop him, I couldn't fight back. I trained so long for that moment and when it happened I couldn't do anything."

"Do you want me to get Grissom?"

"No, I just want to talk."

"I'm here babe. Say whatever you need to."

A/N

Well, here's the next chapter. I'm thinking of maybe 5 or 6 more chapters then an epilogue. The next few should end the agnstyness and then I'll try to get to the GSR fluffiness. Please review. :D