You Serious?
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Batman woke up in the Batcave, his vision blurry and his muscles twitching. "Hey, he's awake!" He turned to see Alfred and Tim by the computer, their eyes filled with worry and pity. Bruce instantly knew what those looks were for.
"No…" He really hoped he was wrong. He didn't ever want anyone to find out what was happening between him and the Joker. He tried remembering what happened: he found Joker in the chocolate store, Tim saved the hostages, and Joker used Ivy's powder on him, and then… "No…" He repeated. Tim must have found him after that.
"I'm sorry, but I let Joker get away." Tim stepped forward. "I had to help you first."
"What happened?" Batman wanted to hear Tim's side.
"Well, I got the hostages out and escorted them back to their cars, making sure they were okay. After they drove away, I tried calling you, but you weren't answering. When I went back to the store you were… uh…" He blushed hard, trying to say this delicately. "Joker poisoned you with Ivy's aphrodisiac. The stupid clown… made you rape him."
Bruce sighed. Right, to them it only looked like I raped him. They don't know the whole of it. But still, I never wanted Tim to see me like that, even with a woman. "Dammit…" He said, rubbing his head.
"Don't worry, Master Bruce, you're not to blame." Alfred said.
"Yeah, and no one's dead. That's always good news." Robin quipped.
"How badly was Joker injured?" Batman asked.
"Oh, uh… it looked bad, but he was able to get up and walk out the door, so…" Tim really didn't want to think about what he saw anymore. Bruce could feel how uncomfortable everyone was.
"Did he say anything to you?" Bruce thought Joker might have blown his cover anyway.
"He said he'll see you soon." Tim said. "I guess he will, since I didn't go after him."
"It's fine." He was relieved. He got up and walked to the stairs.
"Where are you going, sir?" Alfred asked.
"Where else? To take a shower. A thorough one." Batman headed up the stairs. Tim and Alfred just looked at each other quizzically.
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Three days later, Batman received another call from his 'favorite' clown.
"Hello, babes. Miss me?" He squeaked in the Dark Knight's ear.
"You poisoned me last time we saw each other." Bruce said angrily. "And poisoned Robin's mind for life. So no, I don't."
"That hurts, Bats. You're the one who fucked up our meeting first, and not in a good way, either." Joker spat. "You are alone this time, right?"
"Yes." Batman said truthfully. He made Tim stay home and study for school. "But that doesn't matter. I'm not letting this continue."
"You're drowning in the river of Denial." Joker's voice became dark. "I was there, remember? I heard you moaning, calling my name, saw your face when you…"
"Enough!" Batman yelled.
"Told you." Bruce could practically see Joker grinning through the line. "I thought we'd try something different this time. Meet me tonight at the old Komedy Klub. If you don't show up, something bad will happen in the future." He hung up.
Batman shook his head. Did he just tell me where he was? Without giving me a reason to show up other than to take him to Arkham? He didn't really know what to think. Did he have hostages? Or was this just an invitation to a midnight affair? If that was the case, he could just pack up the clown and take him to Arkham, but he would just break out and do something wrong. He decided to go anyway.
As he swung from building to building, he thought about what Joker just said. You fucked up first. He couldn't help feeling that the jester was right. Joker had been giving Bruce reasons to trust him lately, as far as trusting him could go, anyway. He had been releasing his hostages after they'd had sex the first two times, and while Robin rescued the detectives there were no tricks or booby traps in the freezer, except for the laughing gas which would have only gone off if Joker pressed the button on the outside. Maybe if he'd just had sex with the madman, the hostages would have been safe, he wouldn't have been poisoned, and Tim wouldn't have seen what he'd seen.
He arrived at the club. One of Joker's first hideouts, he thought. He looked inside and saw a faint light coming from the back room. He cautiously went in, keeping a batarang ready just in case. He peeked in the lit room, seeing none other than the Joker standing by a bed with a gaudy purple bedspread and emerald pillows.
"Remember when we first met here, Bats?" Of course the clown knew he was there. "We were young and innocent then."
"You stopped being innocent the day you became a criminal." He stepped out of the shadows.
"Which was your fault, remember?" Joker turned to face his Bat. "You took out my goons one by one, and came for me last. It was the first time you took me to Arkham that night."
"You're making it sound like a date." Batman said.
"Am I?" Joker shook his head. "I've been a little off, lately."
"And that's my fault, too?"
"Yes." Joker smiled. "Well, how about we get right down to it?"
"What would that be exactly?"
"There's nothing to worry about, sweets. I've run out of convoluted plans, so now it's just you and me. No hostages, no stooges, no police, no poison."
"Then what did you mean about doing something terrible in the future?"
"If you didn't come, I would have gone out and killed the first Johnny I saw. Something like that."
"You'd better not be lying."
"You still – STILL – don't trust me?" Joker stopped smiling and approached Batman.
"You don't trust me, either." Batman stood his ground.
"True, but it was you who didn't trust me first, and that began a long time ago." The clown went behind the Dark Knight, the Bat's awareness leveling up. Joker simply took off the cape. "Can't we trust each other while we're alone?" He touched the Bat's shoulders, and he tensed up instantly.
"Why me?" Bruce asked partly to Joker, partly to himself, and partly to the gods.
"I was hoping you'd have the answer. I've been trying to figure it out for months." The jester actually sounded sad. Batman turned to face him, and he almost gasped. For the first time, Joker looked like a normal human being. His face was showing a true frown, not a fake, overacted one, and his eyes were showing vulnerability and confusion, something he never has shown to anyone. Bruce couldn't help himself. He leaned in and kissed the clown deeply and passionately, wrapping his strong arms around the small of Joker's back. Joker threw his arms around Batman's neck, pressing himself against that hard muscled chest. They found themselves walking back to the bed, Bruce getting on top of the clown, their lips never leaving the other's.
Batman broke the kiss and latched his lips onto that pale neck, moving up to right behind his ear and tenderly biting the lobe. "Mmm…" Joker moaned and tightened his grip around the Bat's neck. He had to pull away, however, for Batman to remove his purple coat, his green vest and tie, and the orange shirt. "Maybe I should start wearing less." He joked as Batman continued to peel off clothing until the clown was naked. "Hey, why do I always have to be the only one naked?" He said cutely, pulling on the man's tight spandex uniform. Batman glared at him, not about to say the obvious answer. "Oh, for Pete's sake, you can keep the cowl on. And the gloves if you're that worried about me finding out who you are, not that I care."
"You don't want to know?" Batman took off his top, trying not to remove the cowl in the process.
"Don't you think I would have if I wanted to?" Joker gave him the stink-eye. The Dark Knight had never really thought about that before. Joker was very intelligent and had plenty of resources, plus he's tied him up many times, having multiple opportunities to unmask him. But he never did. "It doesn't matter who you think you are when you're not wearing the costume, because Batman is the real you. You're more exposed with the cowl than without it!"
"How do you know?" The Bat removed the lower half of his outfit. He kept the gloves on as well as the cowl. "You don't know the other me."
"No, but I don't feel like it matters." Right, Joker only wants to know and remember things a certain way. Joker's World. "Now shut up and love me!"
"You spoke first." Batman smirked, climbing back on top of the jester. He noticed the bruises around his white neck and shoulders, several bite marks everywhere and… a Batman symbol? "What… did I…?"
"Yes, you did." Joker rubbed the mark lovingly. "Unfortunately it's not permanent. Ooh, I should get a tattoo!"
"Don't." He said sternly. He felt bad about doing that to Joker, but he recalled that the clown had said Batman doesn't feel sorry. But Bruce did feel sorry.
"You have scars, too." The pale man had been staring at his Bat at the same time. His long fingers traced the bullet and knife wounds scattered on Bruce's chest. He moaned, loving the feel of those cool white fingers on his skin. "I gave you this one." Joker stroked the longest blade wound in the middle of Batman's chest. "And this one…" A bullet wound in the shoulder. "And this one…" Another knife scar on his stomach.
"I hopefully didn't leave any that would last." Batman rubbed his gloved hands on the clown's shoulders and began kissing and licking his lean chest.
"Ahh… there are some." Joker waved his hand in front of the Bat's face. Batman saw small burn marks and scratches on Joker's hand and wrist. He remembered what happened; he'd thrown a batarang at Joker's gun and it got jammed, causing the gun to explode in the clown's hand. Bruce took the clown's hand and kissed the scars. "Bats, don't do that. Don't get all sappy on me."
Batman wanted to ask why, but decided against it; he might upset the Prince, and he definitely didn't need that. He continued his ministrations elsewhere, starting with his mouth on the clown's pink nipples and his hands stroking down his sides. Joker scratched his nails up the Bat's back, hopefully leaving welts. He groaned and gripped the jester's ass, making Joker push his hips up and grind against Bruce's bare abs.
Batman kept Joker up like that with one arm while reaching for his belt with the other, pulling out the lube. "You still have that?" Joker asked, a big grin crossing his face.
"I forgot to remove it." Batman blushed.
"Riiiight." Joker was sarcastic. The Bat took the lid off with his teeth and poured some on the jester's entrance. He pushed two fingers inside, being careful because of what happened three days ago. He twisted them slowly and pushed in and out, amazed at how Joker's hole was still so tight and sucked on his fingers. He added a third digit and pulled the clown up more so he could bend over and suck his dick at the same time. "Oh, Goddammit, Batman…" Joker felt so good. In fact, he can't remember feeling any better, except for the other times the two have fucked.
Uh oh, Joker felt like something was missing again. But why? What's missing? He's got the Batman – his Batman – right here with him, making him feel fucking amazing! And this time they have lube! Joker hated this thought eating his mind; it was distracting him from being sucked off by fucking Batman!
"Is something wrong?" Batman noticed the clown wasn't quite present.
"No, no, just…" How embarrassing. Now Bats thinks he's not enjoying it. "Put it in." Batman raised an eyebrow but began to do as instructed, oiling up his own cock and carefully pressing the head into Joker. "Oooooh…" Joker threw his head back as the Bat pushed in further and further. He had Joker's full attention now. He jerked his hips up for those last inches, wanting to hit the clown's prostate on the first thrust. "AAAH!" Joker screamed, feeling electricity go through his whole body.
"J-Joker…" Bruce also shuddered, the feeling of himself in the clown and seeing him shake and cry below him was almost too much. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the Joker's red lips, sucking on them fervently while slowly starting to thrust in and out of the clown's tight entrance.
"Fucking… big bad Bat… uuuhhh…" Joker said in between kisses. He couldn't even remember what he was thinking about a minute ago. Now it was all about that huge cock in his ass, that sweaty skin on his, and those perfect lips on his mouth.
Batman felt himself getting close. He pulled Joker up off the bed and the jester was now sitting on his lap. Joker hugged his arms around the Bat's neck and his legs around his waist. He knew Bats was strong enough to hold him up and fuck him at the same time, and that he did. Bruce grabbed Joker's ass and pulled him down while he pushed his own hips up to meet the clown's. In this position, their connection was deeper and tighter. "Bats… it's so fucking good…" Joker stroked himself, coming in between their bodies.
"Joker!" Batman came deep inside his clown, and they fell back on the bed, catching their breaths. The Dark Knight was ready first, getting up to clean himself and dress.
"You know, I wish I could see your face without knowing who you are." Joker sat up, watching Batman as he put on his costume, enjoying the view. "You know what I mean?"
"Yeah, I think so." The Bat smiled. He was just thinking something similar, in that he wanted to know Joker's real name so he could call it out while they were… "I should be out patrolling the city right now." He became serious as he attached his cape to the cowl.
"But instead you were patrolling my ass." Joker laughed. "Get your priorities straight."
"That isn't the only thing I need to get straight." Bruce grumbled.
"Here we go, blaming me for everything." Joker threw his hands up. "Now it's my fault the Bat's gay."
"I'm not gay." Batman assured the clown, and also himself. "Just you." He blushed.
"Aw, so sweet." Joker brought his hand up to caress the Bat's cheek. "And all mine."
"Some people might argue with you, there." He smirked, wanting to rile the jester a bit.
"Who? Like the Cat-lady, or the Demon Head guy's daughter?" Joker's eyes widened. "You don't have a… girlfriend?" He gagged on that word.
"I don't." Batman said. "I'm keeping my priorities straight."
"Ha! What a good boy." The clown was surprised when the Bat leaned down to kiss him sweetly. No, not sweet, more like… bittersweet.
"I have to go." The hero simply said, and headed out the door, leaving Joker dumbstruck.
"Bye, dear. Have a nice day at work." The pale man squeaked, never too out of it to tell a joke.
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A/N: I had just realized that ff . net doesn't display asterisks as scene separators, so I replaced them with Bs. I reuploaded a lot of my stuff because of that. Well, after suffering from perverted nosebleeds, I finally finished this chapter. Enjoy!
Taru-chan