Firstly, I'mma go ahead and thank RunMild for beta reading this chapter :) You are my Champion of Kirkwall.
...and...Uh. I guess that's... all. Yeah. I'm blanked out from running over hill and dale for holiday family stuff and being sick. So...enjoy?
Flissa hadn't been lying about the sparse evening crowd. Amy had seen a bigger crowd during finals week. Sera was here along with three others. None of them were drinking together so much as sitting in decent proximity to each other. But four people. That was it.
It'd taken her less time than she thought to familiarize herself with the merchandise and pricing. Three bits for a single serving, two silvers for a bottle (depending on the bottle), and anywhere from ten silvers to a royal for one of her specialty drinks.
Personally, Amy was just glad that she didn't feel like she was going to fall asleep or fall over. She'd gotten a nice long nap and woke feeling mostly rested.
Okay, some of the muscles in her legs were still feeling a little sore—more like overstretched elastic, really—but she could mostly ignore it and push herself to do what needed to be done. In fact, she imagined that if her routine included a warm up, stretching, a bit of working out, and then a meal and nap before working in the evening, she could probably handle anything Thedas threw at her.
That was, until Bull walked in with Krem, the Chargers, and of all people, Varric and Solas.
Sera looked pretty happy until she caught sight of Solas. Amy knew that feel. Her very first play-through had been spoiler-free and she'd gone in as an elf mage… and she'd romanced Solas.
Oh, the tears she'd shed on that egg.
"What the fuck…" Bull's eye landed on her, and it seemed no amount of Ben-Hassrath training would stop that response from coming out. "What?" he squawked, pointing to her. "What? …What!"
She grinned broadly. "Maraas-Lok!" Bull visibly winced, shaking his head. Amy laughed blatantly at his discomfort.
Solas had found a quiet corner in which to sit. Varric took up with the Chargers, which Amy would've thought to be uncomfortable at one table, but it was only eight of them—and Grim seemed to really enjoy siting on floors for some reason—and Sera didn't like to sit so much as she liked to perch on the table and then skip about.
"'Ere ya go." Flissa said, handing Amy a tray heavy from many, many full pints. "The tray goes to them, and this is for the apostate in the corner." She made the distinction of pointing at the single glass on the edge. Amy nodded, and quickly dispersed the pints circling around the table with surprising efficiency and dexterity considering her earlier stumbling.
She felt something. She wasn't sure what it was exactly. It was like… like when you had to ice a sore muscle. At first the rub-on wouldn't feel like anything other than a cool goop on your skin, but then it'd dry and soak in. It was a strange seeping sort of cold that wasn't at all unpleasant. It seeped into her calves and thighs, and for the first time in a long time she felt rejuvenated.
Amy turned and her eyes met a curious, nearly-smiling blue pair. Solas was staring at her, but upon her notice he cocked his head to the side. An obvious question danced there with the same almost child-like enchantment. 'Are you aware? Do you realize what I did?' they seemed to say.
Aware? Yes. Did she have any clue what just happened? Some magic something or another, but other than that, no.
Amy had to very nearly shake herself out of the gridlock stare. She lifted the glass off the tray and extended it to Solas, who seemed to be more interested in staring at her still. It was unnerving.
She ticked her nose up, eyes forward as she turned to retreat behind the bar.
"Hey!" the gruff voice startled her, and she yelped when Bull's arm fastened around her before she could nick by. "You think you can just be out and about without saying 'hi' to me?" he asked. With the exception of Krem, the table's occupants looked surprised at this outburst.
"Hi." Amy said with little feeling. She normally didn't mind Bull's habit of being so handsy, but she was at work.
"You aren't being very friendly, you know." He fussed.
She heaved a breath heavily through her nose and stared at the small wooden tray she'd used to carry all their drinks.
"Could bash your face…." She stared at Bull. "May break the tray."
She caught sight of one of the surlier patrons, an old man that may've had a few too many about an hour ago, and used the tray to point at him before yelling, "Your hand touches metal, I kick your ass!" He balked, slowly leaning back into a relaxed position before shuffling out of the tavern entirely. "Honestly."
When Amy turned to look back at the current table, she found Krem smirking at her, and Bull seemed to be biting his lip as he stared wide-eyed at Varric. She could only just hear Varric's wheezy laughter.
"That might be the cutest thing I've ever seen." Skinner snarked.
Amy glared at her. "Show you cute." she growled, trying to lean out of Bull's half hip lock.
"Well, I guess you're feeling better," Varric said, raising a pint in her direction.
"Yeah," Bull drawled, eyeing her suspiciously. "You must be, otherwise you wouldn't be working here."
"M'fine," Amy griped. "Better. Best! Sunshine. Rainbows. Butterflies." She tried to tug away from Bull again. "Want my hips back!" she snapped, giving his forearm a warning smack with the back of the tray.
"'Ey." he grunted. "I just wanna introduce you to my boys." he placated. "You know Krem of the Crop."
Krem groaned, his head tipping down slightly.
While Bull was busy gloating over the new (painful) nickname, Amy decided to step in. "Skinner Shem-killer, Stitches Yuck-Poultice, Rocky Not-Gaatlok, Dalish Not-Mage, and Grim High Chief Grunts-a-lot." She patted the top of Bull's head, which was still a feat even if he was seated. "Your craaaazy bunnnch of assholes."
Bull was blinking rapidly, as if he needed to reset his eye to process all this. And while everyone else was slack-jawed, Grim's eyebrows rose and he grunted—which seemed like the best reply ever if you were a Chargers fan-girl, and Amy was. This meant she was preening. She'd not laid eyes on Dorian or Vivienne, so someone among the Inquisition should take up the mantle in their absence.
"Uh, yeah. That's them." Bull said, clearing his throat slightly before taking a sip of his ale.
"That's… really unnerving." Stitches said. "Who told you about us?"
"Know what I know." Amy said.
"Yeah… she does that." Bull said, still eyeing her.
"She didn't do it to me." Krem pointed out.
"Aw. You feelin' left out?" Skinner cooed teasingly.
"Cremisius. Aclassi." Her S's still sounded way too hissy. "Tailor's son. Soporati." Too many S's!
Now it was Krem's turn to stare. He also looked a little flushed. "…You're right. That is unnerving."
"Don't try turnin' that evil eye on me." Sera grunted, arms crossed.
Amy was looking decidedly wilted at this point.
"You can turn your eye on me, if you'd like," said a man at the table next to them. Something about him set her skin on edge, like standing too close to an electric fence. Even with a table between herself and him, she still felt slightly agitated. She couldn't imagine why. He wasn't unappealing or vulgar. Well, not overly. He had nearly anime-jagged brown hair and fan fiction, Dean Winchester green eyes. In fact, he looked a lot like a sloppy Dean Winchester.
"How's about a kiss?"
He did not look enough like Dean Winchester for that sort of behavior.
She smiled brightly and held up a hand in a 'stop' motion before snickering. "'Ow 'bout ya'fuck yourself?" She said it so casually, it took a moment for everyone else to catch up, but when they did, the response was quite the uproar.
Varric nearly fell out of his chair, and Bull bent forward to hide his laughter. It wasn't a very effective strategy, and Amy wasn't sure it was necessary, as all the Chargers were laughing too. Though none of them had to worry about their horns hitting the table, she supposed. Even Solas had clasped both hands in front of his mouth, but he still couldn't hide his smirk.
Bringing that joy was a bit of a comfort, even if it barely canceled out the near-revulsion that had previously taken residence at the table. Maybe they all just needed to laugh; maybe that was why it was easier to move on. One thing she knew: she needed a drink.
"Aw'right, aw'right, you tossers. I know when I'm not wanted." the man said, rising and leaving a bit of coin with Flissa before leaving.
"What about Varric?" Bull asked, bringing everyone back to their own little group.
"Know lots. Tons." Amy made her eyes wide in exaggeration. Then she brought the edge of the wooden tray down hard against Bull's wrist.
Amy knew two things with absolute certainty. One: she'd surprised him. And two: he knew she was done with being pinned down. That was why he let her go. It had nothing to do with her actually working her way out of his grip.
"Not your pet. No tricks or training." She said half hopping away and regretting it when her legs felt like over-stretched elastic. "Tethras Paragon of Manliness. Beard on chest. Perfect gentleman in public." she said, her nose raised a tick.
Sera scoffed. "What about Solas, then?"
Amy glared. "Not say. Not want say. Too angry." Anger was making her chest tight, making her heart hurt. It was ridiculous, but… well.
It was…weird. It wasn't just the whole 'first in-game romance' thing. Honestly. First in-game romance wasn't true love or anything, but it was an attachment. As ridiculous as it was to get attached to characters in a game, it didn't stop her from feeling as though she had met and loved all these people in turn. She was in the unique position of knowing these people, their choices, their vices, their mistakes, and everything that made them beautiful.
"Pride before fall." she spat, bearing her teeth just slightly.
"Ouch." Varric said. "Such hostility towards the elven apostate."
"Indeed." Solas murmured, still staring at her as though she were a puzzle.
"Really." Bull began on a half laugh before asking, What'd he ever do to you?"
"He ate my heart." Amy blinked when the sentence flowed out of her mouth. It wasn't just close to decent speech, it was flawless speech.
"Huh." Bull blinked, looking between Solas and Amy. "That was fluid… do it again?"
"He ate my heart. He a-a-ate my heart." Amy's eyes got wide as she remembered the lyrics. Was it that simple? Speaking took time and effort to order the words and the sounds, but songs… songs were rhythm and motion.
There was only one way to be certain.
"Look at him," she sang out. "Look at me." Continuing and getting everyone's attention as she pointed between Solas and herself. "That boy is bad, and honestly! He's a wolf in disguise, but I can't stop staring in those evil eyes!" When they buried her, she hoped that on some part of her headstone it would say, "Here lies Addled Amy. She brought Lady Gaga to Thedas".
"Damn, girl!" Sera said, trumpeted with all the grace of a goose. "You can sing!"
Bull was still eyeing Solas—who had gone eerily still—and Amy—who was nearly giddy to be able to communicate without having to worry about sounding like a moron. Now she sounded like a different sort of moron, she supposed. A Dragon Age Musical sort of moron.
Hey. It worked for Harry Potter and DC Comics, right?
"Oh. Mah. God." She half caterwauled. "I've been beaten in the game of love!" she twirled behind Bull, rounding on his good side. "I've had two years in heaven and five weeks in hell." She fanned herself. "Where do I-I go now?"
"Now we'll just have to worry about is shutting her up." Rocky chuckled. Amy cuffed him on the back of the head, though not hard. Still hard enough that he pretended to be mortally wounded.
"Dwarf drama queen." she grunted.
"Well, now you fucked up, Rocky." Skinner snickered at him. "She's not singing anymore."
Amy rounded the table growled, "Parshaara."
It didn't sound bad! Not perfect, but nowhere near as stunted or mispronounced as before. Though she noticed some of the Chargers tensing up—namely Krem, Grim, and Stitches. Was there some guy-code violation about to be committed?
"That was 'enough' right? In Qu—gauhf!" Rocky took another hit to the back of the head, this time from Stitches. Amy supposed the company healer could inflict damage as long as he helped to heal it up.
She also assumed that speaking Qunlat was something Bull didn't like, since it made his Chargers twitchy… She wondered if they were nervous about the Qunlat, or if it really bothered Bull to hear it and they just reacted to that.
Wait…where was Solas? When had he left even?
Varric snorted, holding his pint up to be refilled. It was enough to snag Amy's attention, and she went about refilling his drink. "That's good, you being able to sing and all. You sound good, too. You ever sing professionally, or…?"
Amy shrugged. "Choir. Long long ago, though."
Varric snorted out a laugh, looking… almost bitterly nostalgic. Amy wondered if he was thinking about Sebastian. He had this look about him, somewhere between amused and rueful. That probably fit for his attitude towards the infamous 'choir boy'.
"So you're… good?" He seemed very… awkward. It wasn't like the Varric she knew.
"Relative."
He nodded with a humorless chuckle. "So, what were you doing at the temple anyway?" She blinked at him. "I mean, that's… where we found you. Near the red stuff."
The last part was grunted with such distaste, it made Amy wonder if that was why he was so turned about. Not because she was odd and he didn't know what to do with her, but because red lyrium was always going to be a sore subject.
Or it could be both. Both was good. Insert El Dorado gif here.
"Drunk." She said abruptly.
"What?"
Her voice sounded sedate and dreamy, staring into the space above Varric's head as she continued. "Thought th'reefs 'round the wounded coast were made of candy." Her words were choppy again, stuttering out with great effort. But she couldn't sing them, now could she? Isabela was many things, but her words were not a sing-along. It was a little disconcerting that she could quote the words of others more clearly than she could speak her own mind... but that was a worry best kept to herself.
He stared at her—hard—and rocked back in his chair.
"Demon told me. Bet me sixty sovereigns n'a bottle of port."
"That's more unnerving than the Qunlat, Charmer." Varric reported, before sipping his ale.
Now it was Amy's turn to stare, her head cocked to the side in curiosity. Finally, it caught up with her. She gasped at great length. "My name!?" she squealed, pointing to herself. If she had any energy left, she would've pranced about in glee.
"Well, yeah." Varric barked a laugh. "You've clearly charmed everyone who's met you. Living right in the middle of the budding Inquisition even though you know all these things and are clearly mad as a loon." He stopped himself, realizing he'd said that out loud in front of her. "I mean—"
"Prefff… Pref. Fer! Addled."
"Ah. Yes. Addled. And your name is Amy, I hear."
"Addled. Amy." She smirked. "Do love. Iah. … Al… Liter ayshion."
"Alliteration?" Varric snorted. "Addled Amy loves Alliteration?"
"Uh. Doors."
Varric laughed out loud. "Addled Amy Adores Alliteration!" he said, nodding with such vigor that it swayed his whole body. "Brilliant."
"Charmerz. Bet-er." She got a strange urge to start mimicking Charmander... but no one would get the joke if she started cooing and hissing 'chaaar. chaaaaar!', would they?
He smiled. "I do try."
Amy was so happy. It was just… she knew that she was wrung out from being on her feet longer than she had been since she got here. And she also knew she was on a bit of a high from not only getting some measure of independence, but also a way to speak. But the cherry on this sundae straight from Thedas was that Varric Tethras had given her a nickname, and it was actually pretty flattering.
She snuggled up to Varric's side and wrapped her arms around him. It was a little awkward with the height difference, but it didn't bother her. Not one bit.
"Hey, now… watch it over there."
Amy wasn't sure when The Iron Bull had started policing her interactions with other people, but it needed to stop. She glared at him, not backing away.
"I would like it to go on record that I was not copping a feel on our dear Charmer. In fact, I was merely receiving affection as she wished to express it," Varric said in an attempt to sound magnanimous. "The fact that the view is nice is just a pleasant side effect."
Amy partially pulled back and found him starring impishly at her chest. She stared down at her otherwise unremarkable physique.
"Like mos. Keeto. Bites?" she asked.
"Augh!" Rocky had not taken a hit to the back of the head, so Amy couldn't tell you why he sounded like the wind had been knocked out of him.
"Ouch." Dalish whimpered dramatically, hunching her shoulders.
"Yeah... I'm…" Stitches was staring almost bleakly down at the table. "I'm not a woman, and somehow that hurt my feelings."
"Ya'don't have feelings." Amy gruffed back, drawing away from Varric.
"You're bein' a little harsh on yaself there, Charmer." Sera said, also blatantly staring at her chest. It was weird. Amy didn't have any body image issues, she just knew what was.
She snorted inelegantly. "Wash board abs, good." she said, snapping her fist against her belly. It wasn't quite as muscled as it had been before all this had begun and her routine and nutrition had been so woefully interrupted, but it was still taunt and muscled. "Wahash board chest? Not." she said shaking her head.
"You may be too close to the issue." Krem said with a smirk. "Now, I wouldn't mind helping you out with forming a second opinion." He wagged his eyebrows.
"Oh, yeah. Me too!" Skinner said with a grin.
"If anyone's inspecting or requisitioning, it's going to be me." Bull growled.
Amy threw her head back and laughed. After a moment she cupped her chest and shook her head. "Better chance find Andraste's ashes." she said between chuckles.
"Harsh!"
"All right." Bull said. "One more round of drinks and we'll let you close up, Flissa." This time Flissa gave her a couple of bottles to make the rounds. "Pour yourself one while you're at it." Bull demanded. "You could probably use one to help you key down."
She had no idea how he knew that she wanted a drink, but she wasn't about to question it. He never really questioned how she knew what she knew… well, not yet. It would be an interesting conversation to be had.
After seeing to their portions, Amy left the remainder of the last bottle out for herself. She came up behind Bull, docking her chin on the top of his head and her arms lacing over his shoulders.
"Hug-a-bull." was all she said, and she didn't need to see his face to know he was beaming smugness.
"Glad you like my assholes." he said, and Amy couldn't stop the giggle from working its way out. "Hey now, what's so funny?"
She got it under control just to somewhat paraphrase a comic she'd seen of the Iron Bull ages ago. "You're bein' asshole." She said pointing at the wooden table. "Know what we do to assholes?" She paused as they all waited. "We. Lick'em."
Grim spit out his drink violently, and Amy made peace with having to clean up the floor. Most of the table's occupants were wailing with laughter or they were crying "No!" very loudly while wailing with laughter. Bull bellowed with it, and Sera practically rolled around the floor, squealing.
It was too corny to say that they laughed so hard that they were in stitches, because Stitches was in the Chargers and all. But the night ended on their laughter… and that was a win.
Ok. So. The songs in this are Lady Gaga's "Monster" ( youtube /iqjRX8kJeX8), and the song "Oh My" on Gin Wigmore's Holy Smoke album :3 (youtube /luhnj7ZPWL4).
Also... I uh...I have a tumblr. Like, I have a regular one for reblogging all of the things, but I just made a new one that's specifically for writing stuff...I'm not asking for followers or anything, but if you're in a mood, you can go and check it out :3 It's strivingscribe.
*sniffle hack wheeze* see you guys later =..=