For WitAngerAndBravery, who gave me the headcanon I used to write this fic.

"This is all your fault?"

"How am I at fault here? I've got one of these…things too!"

"Your friend's birthday party, your mistake."

"Lily, I'd like to remind you that the friend in question is your boyfriend. If anything, we should be blaming him and Sirius for this! We wouldn't be in this mess if they hadn't spiked the drinks!"

"Honestly, who goes and spikes alcohol? It was already bloody strong Firewhiskey to being with!"

"That's Sirius and James for you."

"Yeah well, that's not the point. The point is, what in Merlin's name are we going to do with these?"

"Is there any way to get them off? Even a Muggle one?"

"Nope. And I don't fancy showing it to James. He's already got too large of an ego to begin with, who knows what this would do to it."

"Bloody hell, Sirius will be worse! You know exactly how possessive he is, can you imagine his reaction to seeing this?"

"Yeah, well, James isn't any better when it comes to being a possessive bastard. Don't you remember what he did to that Ravenclaw who simply debated about asking me to Hogsmeade?"

"Yeah…we don't talk about that incident. Or think about it. It was a bit scarring."

"Exactly! Can't you just see how gleeful he's going to be about this?"

"I still say I've got it worse than you do."

"How in – how can you even think you've got it worse?"

"Well, there's absolutely no chance James is going to go about telling everyone he meets what you did. Sirius definitely will. Besides, it's much more embarrassing for a guy to be caught having one of…these."

"More – how can it be more embarrassing for you? It's not I don't think it's ridiculous!"

"Well it's not exactly extremely manly, is it? In fact, it's the exact opposite – it's emasculating! Sure, Sirius will be thrilled – after he finishes laughing his ass off, that is. There's no chance that laughter is going to be the first thing you're confronted with when James sees yours."

"Remus, I went and got a tramp stamp last night, and it looks like something a love-struck teenage girl would have doodled on the margins of her parchment. How exactly is that not embarrassing?"

"It's a tramp stamp. Again, not exactly the manliest place to have a tattoo. Besides, like you said, it looks like something a teenage girl would have doodled, and, just in case you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly a teenage girl."

"Nor am I!"

"But you are female! I'm sure you did something like that for whoever you had a crush on back at Hogwarts! I've never even doodled something like this in my life!"

"No. You're telling me you never wrote RL loves SB in a heart? Really?"

"That was uncalled for! And can you tell me you really didn't do something like this at Hogwarts?"

"Of course I did! That doesn't mean I want a bloody tattoo that reads LE loves JP in a heart on my body!"

For:

The If You Dare Challenge, Prompt 108. Symbolized

House Points competition, Character - Lily Evans/Potter

50 Different Friendships Challenge, Prompt 24. Night

HP Potions Competition, Laugh-Inducing Potion

Fantastic Creatures Competition, Griffins