A/N: I do not own Big Hero 6.
All rights reserved to Disney and Marvel.
Of Speed and Time
"Time flies over us, but leaves its shadow behind."- Nathaniel Hawthorne
There's a time she doesn't remember. Or if she does remember its likely in dreamlike flashes experienced during slumber and forgotten by the time she knows she must get up and start her day. But she knows very well what her mother told her… or tried to keep from her.
Her mind has a few vague shadows that always seem to linger:
A blanket of night, a young man and woman, a wired fence, shouting, screaming, gunshots, her clueless unassuming eyes taking notice of how she is put into another person's arms while they stand and wait. Then there are echoes of the people holding her, trying to keep hold of their breath as they run, not stopping once, never turning back to the echoes of screams and gunfire.
The young woman dismissed those brief flashbacks as meaningless dreams for most of her life. While Leiko knew that there was more her friends didn't know about her than they assumed, in turn, there was more Leiko didn't even know about herself that her own mother was determined to hide.
Naomi Tanaka had escaped the nightmare that was the early half of her life, and she was determined to keep that nightmare at bay forever. Even if it meant letting her own daughter believe that her father just suddenly died in his sleep before she was born, rather than letting her know of his true fate, and her true origins.
But this was what Leiko knew:
She knew her family were of a Korean background, but had lived in Japan as a result of the first war that divided Korea over a century ago; hence the name Tanaka.
Leiko knew that she was barely a year old when they moved to San Fransokyo to stay out of a potential war zone during the North Korean Revolution.
She knows she was named Leiko, after her grandmother named Leika, and given the middle name Ethel after that same grandmother's favorite American movie star from a very long time ago.
She knows that she last saw her daddy the day they left Japan, for some reason or another choosing to stay behind with little protest. Though her mommy used to tell her that he loved them very much.
Needless to say she knew her family was unusual. Aside from feeling excluded when father's day presents were being made in elementary school, she noticed how her friend's mother's would give her mommy mean looks. It was as though her mommy was a cockroach they wanted to squash.
Then again, having a mommy who was still twenty years old when she was in kindergarten might have been a contributing factor.
Even so, little Leiko fit in just fine with her classmates, challenging all the boys to races and winning; bragging about being the first person in the second grade to be able to ride a bike without training wheels. She may be small, but it's those small things that make her feel as though she can take on the world.
Not too long after she turns twelve things begin to change. In hindsight, it must have been when the news broke out of the North Korean Revolutionary War ending with a victory in the defeat and end of the historically known Democratic People's Republic of Korea; uniting the country as one for the first time in almost a century.
Leiko finds it pretty amazing that a war that had been going on for nearly a decade finally came to an end. When she came home she saw her mother staring at her tablet as though her eyes were eternally glued to it. It wasn't until she looked up that Leiko saw the red circles surrounding her mother's eyes as she goes over and hugs her tight enough to have Leiko suffocated. "Mom, what's going on?" she sees her face go blank in her periphery. Her mom looks as though she had forgotten something, only to let go of her daughter, breathe in and put on a smile, "I love you very much."
"Okay, love you too." Of course Leiko should have paid more attention to the actions of her mom at the time, but of course it all becomes clear when her mom tells her, "Your Daddy won't be coming home."
This news makes her stomach curl and she bites her lip. It shouldn't be surprising since she stopped asking questions about him years ago, but the way it now hits her like concrete seems to enforce a sense of certainty.
"Why?"
"He just isn't okay!"
That was the first time Leiko's mother snapped at her for anything. It was that day she decided that she did not want to deal with that side of her mother.
The last piece of change that happened was when her mother explained why she should use her middle name. She explains that while San Fransokyo has a significant Asian demographic, it is still recommended because not as many people are as accepting of immigrants such as themselves. Reluctantly, she becomes Leiko a.k.a. Ethel Tanaka.
Fast forward to age fifteen.
Since then, her mother has remarried. Her stepfather is okay enough.
Except for his resistance to treat Leiko as a daughter. In fact while her mother is still the only person calling her Leiko, her own stepfather has chosen to use Ethel with her. She doesn't make anything out of it at first when he's still new to their family. But he'd been with them for almost three years now.
She knows she doesn't need to ask.
She knows why he does that.
And why her mother says nothing.
She takes out her motorbike at night and drives. She needs to get away from the man who should love her but treats her like she doesn't matter. To get away from the woman who raised her who should be standing up for her better treatment, but only lets him have his way. Now she needs to be as far as humanly possible from responsibilities to her school, reminders of her lone wolf tendencies, and to feel the air aggressively brush against her face, the only way she knows she's far from all the chaos.
Of course she sees a crowd of people in a certain part of the Dragon District that is very secretive. Curiosity gets the best of her and she enters unnoticed.
There is something that feels very liberating about watching bot fighting. Soon it becomes regular.
Sneaking out at night, taking her bike as fast as lightning to the rings. She usually just watches from the back and only speaks to ask if anyone has a light, continuing to breathe in the burnt sweetness of her cigarettes. Soon a bot fighter named Ian approached her with his lighter. It was that moment that led to Ethel's nighttime adventures: sneaking out to bot fights, racing each other downtown, and then spending time in Ian's apartment before she had to return home under the mask of darkness. She may have been sixteen while he was twenty-one, but he seemed to be the only one that cared.
During that time he called her "babe", "my girl", "mine", among others. Of course looking back she wishes she had told someone about Ian, then maybe she would have been able to save herself from falling too deep to soon like a quicksand trap that was impossible to escape. Especially when he starts welcoming her with a hand across her face anytime she arrives late, or anytime he loses money. She feels it is justified, after all he worked hard for those bot fights, his disappointment was understandable at the time. So she began helping by entering her own bots, compensating for any losses, giving them money to share.
One night as soon as she steps out for a smoke she hears the sirens wailing. Deaf to logic, Ethel listens to her instincts and goes back in to find Ian who was holding on to her prize money. It seems that all time suddenly freezes when she sees him putting his tongue down the throat of a woman wearing Geisha-like makeup, one hand of his on her rear and the other in her hair. He should've been holding the cash. Amid the blur of her anger; Ian pushing her away and having two of his friends tell the police that they were turning her in under the claim that they caught her before she could get out, Ethel soon found herself waiting in a cell to be bailed out by her mother and stepfather. She still doesn't know how she managed to hold back her tears. As soon as she gets bailed out, she is subjected to listening to her stepfather explain that she should be sent away, something he would gladly do and likely convince her mother of the same. The fact that neither of them notices her leaving on her bike only adds to her upset as she decides to pick a stopping point that was not too crowded but not too isolated. The side alley of the Lucky Cat Café was the winner.
Drying her eyes, she is about to light her remedial stick of nicotine when a voice says, "You know, smoking is actually terrible for your health." Startled, she sees a guy wearing a collared shirt and jeans with a satchel over his left shoulder. Not to mention his clean cut look that seemed to be a one hundred and eighty degree contrast from her typical company.
"What the hell do you want nerd?" she says to the opposite wall, determined to avoid any eye contact with this stranger. In her periphery she sees him start to sit down beside her; she rolls her eyes and pulls her knees in closer, arms wrapped around them, not ready to give up.
"You just seemed upset about something is all." Ethel knows it is pointless when its obvious he isn't going away anytime soon. Chuckling lightly, she turns to face him, "Seriously? You don't even know the first thing about me, you shouldn't even give a crap."
Ethel sees his face grow more serious as he moves in closer, "I may not know you, but that doesn't mean I should let you go without helping you." In a last ditch effort to alienate him she says, "And why do you think I need any help? I can take care of myself." He then takes a pack of gum out of his pocket, offering it to her, "Perhaps you could try chewing these for a start instead of smoking, at least try, for me?" the sudden appearance of a puppy-dog face had Ethel defeated, knowing there was no way he was going to leave her alone unless she agreed to this stranger's impromptu "self help program". Suddenly, she heard the trill of what she assumed was his iPhone X. After he put it away he extended another hand, smiling, "By the way, I'm Tadashi so you know."
She put out the cigarette, then returned the gesture, "Ethel."
That fateful meeting with Tadashi Hamada set off a chain of events in Ethel's life. Though hesitant at first, she decided to try the gum-chewing substitute. After a few months, her lung destroying vice no longer had a presence in her life. Not only that but she began to hang out with Tadashi more often after school. While her stepfather was at least gracious enough to let her go to the City Honors High School, Tadashi was at the local public school. It was thanks to him that he even encouraged her to try doing school teams instead of resorting to her nightlife of racing.
Every day they seemed to learn something new about each other.
She learned he had a little brother named Hiro; he found out she was an only child.
He wanted to help people, maybe even save lives; she wanted to feel the wind in her face, perhaps see the world.
He lost his parents when he was ten; she knew nothing of her supposedly deceased father.
He had a weakness for chocolate; listening to old boy bands was her guilty pleasure.
They even attended the others' sports games, and science fair projects respectively.
And of course she would never admit it to herself that she felt it was thanks to him that she was able to join him for college at the San Fransokyo Institute of Technology.
When they first met, Ethel assumed that Anita was just like those spoiled mean girls who gave her nasty looks in the hallways back in high school. From her long blonde hair to her feminine fashion sense, it was hard not to make that initial judgment of character. It seemed to be the case even more so when Anita began taking selfies of the two of them before and after their room was set up. But it was at a party after the first two weeks of school that Ethel's first impression of Anita was challenged.
Tadashi couldn't make it at the last minute because of something going on with his little brother and some bullies. The guy she sat next to in her Engineering 101 class was also not there. If anything, Terry was pretty much an acquaintance. As far as friends were concerned, Tadashi was her only one.
In any case Anita asked her to come so she wouldn't feel so lonely and Ethel, having nothing else better to do figured she might as well tag along. With a red solo cup in her hand, she leaned against the wall watching Anita talk to a different person every five or so minutes smiling as if she was talking to a celebrity each time.
Ethel was about to join her roommate when her personal bubble was suddenly invaded by the stench of sweat and cheap beer.
"Hey babe, wanna get a room?"
"Fuck off." She told the guy who was apparently smart enough to be attending this school. As she began walking away, that same smelly drunkard tightly grabbed her wrist. She was prepared to shove him across the room when a pink handbag came to leave a lasting bruise on the side of his face, causing the annoying partygoer to lose his grip and fall over. Ethel turned and saw Anita was the one who came to her defense. At moments like this, Ethel would spit, "I can take care of myself!" but her brain decided to go on autopilot and say a genuine, "Thanks." Smiling, Anita decided it was time to leave.
And Ethel decided it was time to re-evaluate first impressions.
She is tightly grabbing her hair when she realizes that she's running late for Anita's surprise party at the Lucky Cat Café. Ethel saw that she had less than fifteen minutes until Anita would arrive. She didn't even have a bite of breakfast as she quickly threw on black pants, a bra under her shirt, running shoes, and grabbed her helmet. Her ears were deaf to the echoes of traffic and her eyes blind to the road signals. Ethel knew her way around San Fransokyo like the number of Criterium medals she won from her later years in high school.
Parking her bike right behind the Lucky Cat Café, entering through the backdoor, she saw she still had two minutes to spare. What she did not expect was to be approached by the pain in her side known as Fred.
"I have never seen anyone drive so fast in my life!" chewing a fresh piece of gum, she didn't even give him a shrug and just said to him as she chewed, "Coolio." Of course Fred's excitement was nearly impossible to kill as he jumped and shouted, "Hell yeah! You're a Gogo Tomago!" lifting his hand up for a high five, Ethel ignored her popped bubble as she said, "Wait what?" As she followed him to the front of the café to surprise Anita, or as Fred liked to call her "Honey Lemon girl", he explained, "It's Japanese for a very fast person!" It was just then that it was time to surprise her roommate. Ethel thinks if she had gotten there earlier she may have had time to explain to Fred that Gogo was gibberish and that "tamago" as he was probably meaning to say was the Japanese word for egg, then she wouldn't have been stuck with the bizarre nickname of Gogo Tomago.
Then again, Gogo did have it's own sort of appeal.
Ethel, or Gogo as her classmates have taken to calling her, can never pinpoint the exact moment she went from feeling the same way she would with any other person around Tadashi, to feeling a nervous swarm of butterflies being held back from flying freely. She tries to think of a scientific process to explain how or why, but at the end of the day, it may have always been there and was growing at a slow pace, much to the chagrin of the speed demon.
As soon as she realizes what those butterflies could mean, she knows she must do everything to continue things normally and maybe cut off time with Tadashi. She lives for the thrill of the chase, but Tadashi makes her want to take in her surroundings once in a while. His childlike smile, his determination to help people, his gentle eyes, the way he would not be afraid to put his foot down when needed, and how anytime he talked to her she felt like she could melt away the shell she wore for everyone else.
And it scares her.
She doesn't want to turn Tadashi into a monster like she did with Ian.
However, the day before his twentieth birthday when the fifty-something test on Baymax went awry, he asks her to go with him somewhere to talk, that he'll pick her up from her dorm in thirty minutes. Gogo decides not to think too much of it and is relieved when she sees that Honey Lemon is at the movies with Fred and Wasabi. Knowing her, she'd probably try dolling her up after jumping to the conclusion of it being a date without letting Gogo fully explain.
He gets her on his moped soon enough, still wearing the same clothes as before, but with a satchel on his right shoulder. Wrapping her arms around him, she almost wants to rest her head on his back, breath him in. She thankfully has the city lights flying past them as a fortunate distraction from creating an awkward situation. Pretty soon he parks the moped and leads her to the Cherry Blossom Park outside of the city limits. The last time she was here was a picnic with her mom when she turned ten years old. A memory she only told of to Tadashi a few years ago after they became friends and her problems with her mom were getting worse.
He pulled a thin blanket from his satchel, laying it on the ground. Without a word she sat with him on the blanket, feeling her fingers brush the blanket to feel the presence of grass for some reassurance.
"So…" she let her eyes move to the falling pink flowers.
"What's going on here?" Tadashi took a long breath through his nose before exhaling slowly, scooting closer to Gogo.
"Well the thing is Gogo…I have something that I really need to tell you. And before I say anything I just want you to know that aside from Hiro, you are one of my closest friends and can always trust you to be there for anything. But then…" he put his face in his hand, rubbing his temples, as if trying to find the right words. Gogo swore she was starting to actually hear the sound of her blood rushing.
"Actually I take it back…" she bit her lip when he says this, wishing she had a stick of gum to chew.
"You're not just that…you're more."
She let go of her bottom lip and felt the cage of butterflies break free. Unfortunately he didn't stop talking.
"And I understand if you don't feel the same way about me, its just that after a while I've decided that I just need to get this off my chest, but please know that I hope-,"
Gogo wasn't going to give him any more time to doubt himself as she pulled him by the shirt and let her kiss say everything. Just as Gogo was starting to think that perhaps she heard him wrong, Tadashi was returning the kiss with enough force for her to fight back in turn. One arm was now wrapped around her waist, while his other hand was stroking the side of her face. She released his shirt from her grasp as she snaked her arm around him, feeling the soft hair on his head between her fingers. Before long, Gogo released her left hand from holding the ground, using it to secure Tadashi in her embrace, as she felt gravity pull them down. Each time they separated to breath, Gogo felt that she was being cut off from her true source of oxygen and it seemed Tadashi felt the same.
For the first time in her clear memory Gogo did not feel the need to keep track of the minutes and seconds passing. It felt like an eternity when they decided to lay on their sides, allowing Gogo be lost in those warm, chocolate eyes. As their fingers intertwined, Tadashi released a low chuckle.
"I take it I had no reason to be anxious in the first place." Gogo smiled, lightly punching his arm.
"About time you woman up." They laughed for a while before Tadashi stood and offered a hand to help her up, seeing as it was probably getting late.
When they arrived at her dorm, Gogo stopped in her tracks and turned to her boyfriend.
"Hey, Tadashi. I get it if you don't want to but think we could not tell anyone about this for a while? I just don't want people putting their noses in our business and well…I just want to enjoy it being just us, you know?" She was ready to see disappointment flash across his face but instead he kissed her nose, took in her hands, smiling, "I understand. It's okay. Frankly, it would be nice considering how insane our friends are…" She smiled in agreement as she kissed him on the lips one more time before he had to retrieve his little brother from a bot fight.
When she returned to the dorm room to see Honey Lemon hadn't returned yet, Gogo was absolutely relieved as she decided that she didn't know whether to look forward to sleep or stay awake because like those cheesy romantics worthy of her eye-rolls, reality was now so much better.
The past six months were full of many new adventures for the young couple. They still acted like the friends they were at school, though at night they'd each say they had studying to do or errands to run when they'd really be taking over San Fransokyo. These outings included midnight picnics in Cherry Blossom Park, late night movies, the occasional rock concert, and many more. There were quarrels, but that wasn't anything surprising since they did fight from time to time when friends anyways. The closest they came to a fight was when they were having ice cream downtown, after Tadashi saved Hiro from being present at a bot fight the police were approaching.
"You know you can't force him to just stop."
"Why not?" He said taking a bite from his chocolate ice cream.
Gogo sighed shutting her eyes. It wasn't the first time he would go on about how his brother needed to change and do something with his life.
"If you want him to not waste his money on bot fighting then you have to let him figure it out for himself, you know that."
After finishing a few bites he replied, "But what if he never learns? I'm his big brother! I have to tell him, it's my job!" After finishing her bubblegum ice cream Gogo gave Tadashi pointed look, as she took out a piece of gum from her pocket.
"Look Tadashi, all I'm saying is that maybe you should actually show him why he's better off using his brain at I don't know… SFIT or some other university than nearly avoid arrest every other night."
They didn't say anything else about it for the rest of the night, but two nights later she was happy to see that her boyfriend was actually taking her advice when she met the little genius.
It happened when she invited him over to her dorm that night. Honey was out to see family and Hiro was in Sacramento with Aunt Cass for a baking convention.
Showcase week was soon, which meant all the current students had completed their final exams. Gogo was snuggled into Tadashi's lap as they watched a few movies. When the finished the last one, Gogo felt something that had been clinging to her chest for so many years begging to be let go. Taking his hands she leaned back into him more.
"Tadashi I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone else that I only want you to know." Kissing her cheek Tadashi put his arms around her.
"Of course Ethel, you can tell me anything." Closing her eyes she let in a deep breath before letting it go in her answer.
"That's the thing…Ethel's just my middle name. My Mom had me stop using my first name because she was being stupid and thought I'd be treated differently if I used my actual first name." She felt his head resting on her shoulder as he pulled her in closer. She felt he was her guarding her like a castle as she shut her eyes, practically forcing herself to continue, "My first name is actually Leiko." She felt his mouth on her neck, kissing it, sending a wave of hot shivers to her core.
"Leiko," he tested it out as she shifted herself to face him. Hearing him say her real name made her heartbeat increase tenfold to the point that she could feel it drumming against her ribcage.
"Say it again." She demanded, not caring if her voice sounded hoarse.
Placing his hands on her cheeks, he pulled her in and kissed her as though they were drowning, with each other as their only sources of life. They separated, gasping for air as he looked into her soul.
"Leiko…I like it…It's perfect for you…"
And with that she allowed for them to venture further than she would have with Ian or anyone else.
Her need for speed was useless as she let herself be consumed by Tadashi. There was only fog surrounding them as they let each other into their hearts. While the world kept turning, time had frozen for them in that moment of closeness, uniting them as more than just two bodies, but rather one heartbeat, souls intertwined, kisses, touches, breaths, movements, possessing more volume than words alone. As the fog around them began to fade slowly, she clung to his naked body allowing the only comprehensible words she could think of to be vocalized, "I love you Tadashi… I love you so much." As they drifted to sleep he kissed her forehead whispering, "I love you too Leiko,"
They were going to tell everyone that night. After taking such a huge step in their relationship and with Hiro being accepted to SFIT, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to do so. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough. Time had flown at hyper-speed and cruelly robbed her of the stars in her sky, the smoke of the building blocking them for good.
Gogo was never letting herself go slow again for anyone. Time gives so much that is built slowly over time, but then takes it away suddenly and cruelly. Self-pity was a time waster she couldn't afford. She promised herself to be there for Hiro if anything happened to Tadashi a long time ago. Granted, it seemed unlikely then but hindsight is funny in that sick way.
The past two years she did not stop stop to smell the flowers. With the criminal underworld creeping up to San Fransokyo's surface, she had a job to herself, her friends, and Tadashi.
Given what Hiro had been going through, her problems were of a first world degree and still were, seeing as Hiro would need her to be his older sibling for a very long time. That is how she found herself with Fred, Wasabi, and Baymax while Hiro and Honey Lemon were visiting Callaghan in prison.
Those terrorists that called themselves "Helios" were messed up enough to steal people lost enough from the chance to find themselves if they ever woke up. Now with Baymax hacking into the medical files of every hospital attacked by Helios, they were trying to find names for every Jane and John Doe in danger. And perhaps give hope to their loved ones that they could still be alive.
After all, someone had to help.
"Gogo, Wasabi, Fred. I have come across information about one of the John Does that might be worth exploring." The robotic marshmallow broke them out of their focuses of sorting through the names and faces, turning to him to continue.
"What is it Baymax?" asked Wasabi, that tone of concern never leaving.
Baymax placed a hand on the computer screen in Fred's room until it stopped at a specific profile for a John Doe.
"This John Doe abducted from the San Jose General Hospital has the following information on file: Male, checked in May of 2043, approximate age: eighteen to twenty-three years old, status: coma, condition: alive with second degree burns on arms, neck, parts of face; event of arrival: brought to ER by a man in black wearing what appears to be a red and white Kabuki mask. Patient was losing consciousness, man left quickly before we could ask any questions. Identification process: on-going."
Everything froze for Gogo when she heard the robot recite: "red and white Kabuki mask". She had to be losing her mind. Or Baymax's programming was in need of a serious de-bugging when Hiro came back. Before she could dismiss the nurse-bot Fred let out a nervous breath and asked, "Can we see the picture of the John Doe?" Soon enough Baymax maximized the small corner image then brought out another file from the computer's memory of Tadashi, putting it side by side.
"The closest case in the area I was able to find that could match this John Doe's appearance in the hospital came from the records of deceased. Particularly matching that of Tadashi Hamada."
And for the first time in years, the world stopped.