Letting go of Chris hurt, physically pained her, so she kept her arms locked around his neck and held him close. He sighed when her tears wet his neck, right in the groove where her face was buried, and it was all he could do not to lead her back to their car and drive home with her and Renner. Whenever Chris was the cause of her pain, he wanted to sink into the ground, never to resurface, even when the fuel driving her heartache was inadvertent. In days gone by, Stephanie had been the absolute pinnacle of strength when it came time for Chris to leave for a tour with Fozzy, but this time was different. This time, there was a storm brewing; the kind that could only be felt, not seen.

Renner, oblivious to the anguish of his mother, slept soundly in the backseat of their vehicle, tucked away safely in his rear-facing car seat. Just when Chris thought the worst of his attempted departure was over, Stephanie's body shook with another wave of silent sobs, each tremor more vicious than the last. The past week leading up to his flight had been tense, painful at worst. Stephanie wasn't herself and hadn't been quite the same since giving birth, and a large part of him felt irresponsible for his plans to leave her behind when she so clearly needed his guidance, but she had been the one to tell him he couldn't give up his dreams. He had committed to the tour dates well beforehand, and he couldn't back out when his family was depending on him. Everything he did was for their own good, and his as well.

A small cluster of people, whom he presumed to be wrestling or Fozzy fans, were gathered near the automatic doors leading into the airport, and Chris rolled his eyes and turned away from them. As much as he tried to be a generally fan-friendly guy, the last thing he needed when his wife was enduring a crisis, of sorts, was to have a flock of people expecting him to sign autographs. They had papers and pens poised in hand, ready to hand off to him when he passed by, but Chris couldn't stop for them and refused to even entertain the idea. Not only was he now running late for his flight, in trying to console Stephanie, but he wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone besides his own family and friends. Nobody else would understand what he was feeling right then.

In a decision that was easily one of the most difficult he had ever settled on, Chris latched onto Stephanie's wrists and forcibly pulled her away from his body, slipping the car keys into her hands before she could protest. He readjusted his baseball cap, then cupped each of Stephanie's cheeks in his hands, brushing her leftover tears away with his thumbs. "Everything is going to be okay. I need you to trust me, and trust yourself, because I know you can do this. You'll hold down the fort while I'm away, and I'll be back before you know it, doing all the little things that annoy you, like being messy around the house," he joked, his own attempt at making her laugh. He was unsuccessful.

"I can't right now. Not today," she protested. Stephanie started in for another hug, and Chris's heart hurt for her, like it was being ripped straight out of his chest, but he was forced to hold her away. He secured his hands around her forearms, encouraging her to stand up straight, instead of leaning into his body. "Please don't go," she begged. "I'm not ready to be by myself."

"We talked about this, babydoll," Chris reminded her, taking care to speak in gentle tones. "I asked you way ahead of time if this was a good idea, and you told me to go. You said it was only two weeks and that you could handle it, remember?"

"Well, I was wrong," she said.

"My dad's flying in tomorrow. He'll spend a few days with you, but you should call your mom and have her stay over with you tonight, if you need company. You can do this; I know you can. I wouldn't be leaving you here to take care of Renner, if I didn't think you could handle it. You're stronger than you probably think you are right now."

"I'm not in control, honey," she admitted. She brought a hand to her flushed cheek and rubbed in a soft circle. Looking her square in the eye, Chris began to feel he truly might not be able to go through with his tour. Regardless of any contracts he had signed or gigs he had agreed to play, Stephanie and Renner were his family, and they ranked above all else in the world. She clutched the car keys in one hand and slid her other hand from her cheek to her forehead next, massaging back and forth. "There's this fog over me, like this dark cloud. It won't go away, and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel trapped and depressed, and everything seems to hurt all of the sudden. I'm not trying to be immature about this, but I really, really need you right now. I'm starting to get scared."

Chris frowned, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Hey, where's all this coming from? This isn't like you at all, Stephanie."

"I don't know why I feel like this," she shrugged, tossing her hands up helplessly. "I love Renner so much, like, more than I could even put into words, but something feels off, and it wasn't until this week that it got almost unbearable. I have this perfect life with you and everything I always wanted, so why do I still feel so bad?" she asked, begging him to make sense of it all. She wiped at a couple more tears that managed to slip out. "It just doesn't make sense. I'm genuinely happy, but I'm also really sad some days."

Chris felt his blood run red-hot through his veins when people began raising their camera phones, taking pictures of him with Stephanie, and even attempting to snap a shot of their son, since the back passenger door was ajar. Chris stepped over and closed it as quietly as possible, so as not to wake Renner, and walked Stephanie back to the front passenger seat, directing her into the vehicle. She did as she was told, albeit confused by his instructions, and Chris went around to the driver side and got in, protected by the tinting of their SUV's windows once their doors were closed. He waited for the anticipated cries from Renner but was relieved to be met with silence, indicating their baby was still lost in a deep sleep.

"Why are we back in here?" Stephanie asked, reaching for a tissue inside the glove compartment to wipe her nose with.

"People were trying to take pictures of us and the baby out there, and it was pissing me off," Chris explained, glaring out the window at the fans, despite the offenders not being able to actually see him. "I swear, some people have no damn respect. I've got my wife crying on the curb, and they're going to stand there and try to take pictures of that and our sleeping son. Bunch of brainless idiots."

He paused to wait for Stephanie to speak, but she only shrugged, blowing her nose and turning to stare out the window. "I don't know what else to say, Chris. I don't want you to think I'm regretting our lives together, because I love what we have. I was literally just on the phone with my mom, telling her how perfect our lives are. It's like, if I take a step back and think logically, I know I have everything I want, but when I let go of that or lose sight of it, it feels so...hopeless. Sometimes I feel like there's nothing, like there's absolutely nothing in this world that could ever make me happy, but that can't be true. I have you and Renner, so why do I feel this way? It doesn't make sense."

Chris let a whistling breath out and placed his forehead down on the steering wheel, needing a moment to think. An airport worker came to stand on the passenger side of their vehicle, gesturing with his hands that they needed to unload, or they would have to leave. "Great, just great!" Chris hissed, after Stephanie alerted him that they had overstayed their welcome at the drop-off location. He started the car and pulled out when there was a break in traffic. "We're supposed to be a team here, Steph, but you're making it a little difficult when you don't talk to me. You never told me that you were this depressed. I could tell you were a little sad that night we spent in Winter Haven, and again when we brought Renner to the zoo on Thursday and you stayed home, but I never thought it was this serious. Why would you wait until now to tell me?"

"Because I wasn't sure," she replied, sounding timid and completely unlike the woman he had come to know. "I thought I was feeling something weird, but it sneaks in and out, so I wondered if I was psyching my own self out because I knew you were leaving. I kept thinking it would all go away and I would start to feel like my old self again, but it's not happening."

"You should have been discussing this with me as soon as it started — not at the last minute when I'm about to fly out of the country!" Chris said, lowering his voice when Stephanie cut her eyes at him. "I'm sorry, but you can't keep shit like this from me. What if I had left you just now and this kicked in after I was gone? Who knows what could have happened. You may not want to speak up all the time, but if you can't do it for yourself, at least do it for Renner."

Chris circled around until he reached the terminal section of the airport's parking lot. He accepted a ticket from the parking toll and drove inside, selecting an empty spot and pulling in. The air outside was cool, bordering on chilly, so he turned the vehicle off and cracked the windows to let a little fresh air inside. Stephanie sniffled, facing him. "Am I making you miss your flight?"

"You're more important than any stupid flight, baby," Chris replied, reaching for her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I want you to be okay, but I don't know what to do about this. Frank, Billy, Paul, and Rich are leaving the country today, just like I was planning to, and I'd feel horrible about leaving them without a lead vocalist. Rich can crank out a lot of our songs on vocals, but we work better as a unit, when all of us are involved," he said, running his hands over his face and dropping them into his lap. "I don't know what to do here."

"Call Mom. She's always the voice of reason."

"Are you sure?" Chris arched an eyebrow. "I should call Linda and she'll straighten all of this out?"

"I think she could."

"Did you have a talk with her about how you're feeling?"

"No, I didn't tell anyone. I was trying to get over it by myself."

"I can understand why you would have wanted that, being the independent woman you are and all, but it's never a sign of weakness to ask for help. That's a sign of strength, okay?"

"I know."

"I'm glad you know, but I don't think calling Linda is such a good idea," Chris expressed, patting her leg when she began to protest. "Hold on, just hear me out. When we were going through a tough time while you were pregnant, we went to your parents all the time. That may have been fine then, but we're married and we have a baby now. We need to learn to handle our problems with each other. Our parents are always there to help when we absolutely need them, but we can't run to them over every little thing. We have to handle this together."

"Then, what do we do?"

"Here's the thing, babe," he started. "Normally, I would buy another plane ticket and just bring you with me, but we've got Renner now, and I don't think it's the wisest choice for all of us to go. He's only a little over three months old, and he doesn't even have all of his shots yet. How do we know we won't take him somewhere overseas and have him catching some weird virus he's not immune to? Plus, being on the road isn't really a place for a baby. I don't think it's safe, and he probably shouldn't be flying this early anyway."

"He's allowed to."

"He may be, but I don't think it's a good idea. I'm not comfortable with bringing him all the way to Denmark. Then, on top of that, he would have to travel on the tour bus for all the other gigs, and we wouldn't even have a nursery for him. It can't happen, at least, not right now."

"Chris, you're missing your flight. I know it's my fault you're late to begin with, but if you still want to go, you would have to go now and hurry," Stephanie said, staring down the radio clock.

"Whatever," he flicked his hand, "I can buy another plane ticket later if I need to. Focus."

"Okay, sorry."

"It's okay," he said, continuing with the previous train of thought. "I really only see two plausible options, but you can let me know if there's something I don't touch on that you think might work. From what I can see, I can either stay here with you and Renn, or I can go and you can drive to your mom's house and stay with her until you're feeling better. My dad's still coming, so he'll be here to support you, too, but you've got to make a decision one way or the other."

"I feel completely put on the spot," she said, voice rattling with nerves.

"Well, don't. It's really pretty cut-and-dried. If you need me, I'll stay. You just have to tell me."

"I...oh, God, I'm so sorry to put you in this position, but I think I need you to stay. Or...maybe if you can drive me to Mom's, I can stay with her while you come back to the airport to catch your flight. I just don't want to make the drive over there without you. I'll fall apart."

Chris reached out, pressing his palm flush against her cheek and rubbing in a slow circle. His eyes narrowed as he studied her face: flushed cheeks, hollowed eyes, and a sickly, pale color hiding behind her burning cheeks. For the first time, he was seeing the transformation her body had undergone, a startling discovery. "Do you need to see your doctor, Steph? Would it help if I brought you in?"

"It's the weekend, but if we could go first thing on Monday, yeah, I think it might help."

"I'm so worried about you," Chris admitted, running his thumb over her lips. "I feel blindsided, like I didn't even see this coming. I could tell something's been bothering you lately, but not to this extent. Listen, I'll make you an appointment and bring you in to see somebody, okay? I'm going to get you the help you need, so I don't want you to feel alone or scared anymore. You're safe with me."

"Thank you for everything," she said, cringing when she caught herself. Knowing what Chris's response would be, she recited the words right along with him, "You don't need to thank me."

After speaking in perfect synchronicity, they each fell into stunted laughter, somewhat relieved.

Chris entered Vince's and Linda's living room, after making a series of tough phone calls. Despite leaving his bandmates hanging at the last possible hour, they were all kind and understanding enough to wish him luck in caring for Stephanie. He had proposed they find a temporary vocalist to stand in for him during the entire first week of the overseas tour, at which point they would revisit the issue and decide whether or not it was right for him to fly down and complete the second week. There was a lot to be said for putting his family first and, though disappointed he would be missing the tour he had anticipated being a part of, Chris knew he had made the right decision, in listening to his heart and remaining with his family.

After leaving the airport, they had driven to a small eatery, Renner sleeping the entire way through their meal in his car seat, while Chris and Stephanie enjoyed a light brunch. Their next stop had been her parents' place, largely because Chris thought it might be best to have the doting grandparents watch over Renner while he spent some quality alone time with Stephanie. That didn't end up being the case, however, as Vince and Linda fired off an endless array of questions, asking why it was that Chris had bailed on his commitments and not gone on tour. Chris and Stephanie kicked their shoes off, and he curled into a ball on the couch, Stephanie huddled at his side. He wrapped each of his arms around her body and held her close, resting his chin atop her head.

"Why do I feel like there's something you're not telling us?" Linda wondered.

"Yeah, there's something very fishy going on here," Vince paced back and forth across the carpet, bouncing a now fully alert Renner in his arms. Renner reached for the collar of Vince's shirt, balling it in his tiny fist. "You've been telling me for weeks that you couldn't wait to go on tour, Chris. What's this about? It's not like you to miss a tour."

Chris answered, "There are more important things in life than putting on concerts."

"Like what?" Linda asked.

Stephanie peeked up at Chris when she felt his laser beam gaze, and his eyes shot off a silent plea, as if to ask whether or not she wanted him to clue her parents in on the larger issue at hand. She gave a slight nod, and he kissed her forehead, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Like my family," he replied.

"Don't tell me you got homesick and that's why you didn't go," Vince said. "You've been traveling the world since you were 19. I would think you would be used to leaving your family members by now."

"I'm fine with being away for a while, but Steph needed me," he revealed.

Vince laughed, actually guffawed, as he patted Renner's back. "Stephanie? She's the trooper of the family, who rolls with all of the crazy punches. She wouldn't have been bothered by your leaving her behind for a couple of weeks," he said, turning his amused gaze on Stephanie. "Tell him, princess."

"Actually, Dad, I asked Chris to stay," Stephanie admitted, sitting up a little straighter against his body. Chris played with the ends of her hair nonchalantly, and she squeezed his thigh, thankful he was still with her and not on a plane headed to the opposite end of the earth. "I think something's wrong with me, and I needed him to be here for it. I don't want to face whatever this is alone."

Linda inched forward in her seat, worry lines creasing her brow. "What exactly are we talking about here? You're making me nervous."

Stephanie took a deep breath, licking her lips in the time it took to build the courage to continue. "For the past week or so — more like the past month, but I hid it well — I've been having a rough time with everything. It's hard for me to understand what this stems from, because I love Chris and Renner so much, and I'm completely happy with the way my life has turned out. It's just this horrible feeling, and I don't know what it is, but I'll be fine one day and then randomly feel like I might break down in tears the next day. I start thinking about the past and feeling like I'll never be happy again, except I am happy, but I'm sad at the same time. See? It's like my head is a jumbled mess, and I don't know what to think."

"You know something, sweetie, your description sounds a little bit like postpartum depression, or something similar to that," Linda surmised. "I think you definitely need to get in and see a doctor about it. There should be something they can do for you, whether it's medication or anything else."

"I did an internet search on my mood swings a couple days ago, and the postpartum thing came up in the search results," she said, hiding her face with her hand when Chris leaned in from behind her body so their eyes would meet. "I know, I know, I should have told you, Chris, but I didn't. I'm sorry."

"She hides this stuff from me. I don't get why she does that," Chris shook his head. "I didn't even know she was hurting this way until I drove to the airport this morning and she told me, right as I was about to leave. It was a shock to the system, that's for sure."

"I didn't do it on purpose. I just didn't want to bother you."

"Did you seriously just say that?" Chris asked, bewildered. "Stephanie, you're my wife. Not just my friend, or acquaintance, or girlfriend. You're my wife, not to mention, the mother of my son. How could you ever think you're bugging me by talking about your problems? I don't think I'm doing my job as a husband if you don't even feel like you can come and discuss this sort of stuff with me."

"No," she latched onto his arm, "please don't think that, hon. It had nothing to do with you. I was just so locked in my own mind that I felt like I should have been able to handle it on my own instead of going to anyone. You're an amazing husband, and you always tell me to come to you when I need help, but I kept this from everybody, not just you. This was my own fault, and it had nothing to do with you or anybody else at all, I swear."

"I would hope not," he said, kissing her cheek and skimming his lips along her jawline, making her shiver with lust. "All I care about is that you're able to be happy again. There's nothing more I want for you than that."

"I want to be happy, too," she said. "I really don't think I have postpartum depression, though. That usually shows up right after giving birth, and Renner's already three months old. If I had that condition, I'd already be over it by now."

"That's not necessarily true, sweetheart," Linda argued. "Go talk to your doctor about what you're feeling. You may be surprised to find that having that condition months after giving birth isn't as unheard of as you think."

Stephanie let out a long yawn, covering her mouth with her hand for the duration. She blinked slowly, settling back against Chris. "I'm always so tired now, too, but that could just be because I'm waking up all the time with Renner. I feel so weak and exhausted."

"Why don't you take a nap?" Chris suggested. He caressed her hand and brought her palm to his mouth for a gentle kiss. "I'll stay right here with you. Just close your eyes and relax."

"Okay, I will," Stephanie agreed, eyes already closing themselves off to the world. "But, Renner..." she trailed off, pointing blindly in his general direction.

"We've got him covered. You just get some rest," Vince replied.

Stephanie nodded and turned her body parallel to the couch, hiding her face in the crook of Chris's neck, just as she had when she hugged him not-so-goodbye at the airport, earlier that morning. Chris reached underneath her blouse and swirled his fingertips over her back, continuing the soothing motion until her breathing evened out and she fell into a peaceful sleep. He leaned his head against hers and closed his eyes, listening to the consistent lull of her breathing, the sound easing him like waves lapping at a shoreline. Feeling the uncomfortable prickle of being watched, Chris peeked through his left eye, peering across the room at Vince, who had taken a seat on the couch and placed Renner in his lap.

"Should I be concerned?" Vince asked, bucking his head in Stephanie's direction. Chris pressed his lips to the hair at Stephanie's crown, nodding as he pulled away.

"Yes. We should all be concerned."