Hiya again :) Hands up who saw Merlin last night! It was awesome, I really want Merlin to fall in love again this series :) Just want to give a thank you to The-Bowtie-And-The-Fez for favoriting! I've put a doctor who quote in there for you, see if you can find it. I'd like to say a thank you again to IndiaMoore for reviewing. Also thanks to Khodgi01, Loopylou720, Myth. , Sheila90, VivianeDPulci and Lordstarlight :)
I love Merlin more and more every time I watch it, I've just re watched the lady of the lake episode. I cry at it every time. I hope it's not just me :) Please read and review :)
Merlin sat on the stone steps that lead up to the tower, his head in his hands.
He didn't know how he let this happen. He had feelings for his closest friend, who just happened to be in love with another friend. He had to keep telling himself that destiny was more important than anything, but how much more would he have to give up for destiny?
Merlin had broken yesterday. Carson had told Merlin he was in love with Tabitha, even asked how he should tell her. It hurt. He shouldn't have taken it out on Carson, it wasn't like he had any idea how Merlin felt about her. They had an argument. He couldn't even remember what was said, all he knew was that what he said to Carson was unfair. What he said back wasn't though. Merlin had his chance and he broke her heart, even if they weren't together he wouldn't tell her how he felt.
He just didn't know what to do any more. He couldn't be with Tabitha, but at the same time he didn't want her to be with anyone else. He told himself he was just being selfish.
"Merlin?" Came a voice from above him, It was Arthur and if Merlin didn't know any better he'd say he seemed worried. "What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing." Merlin said quietly.
"It doesn't seem like nothing." Arthur said. Merlin didn't say anything, Arthur sighed and went to sit next to him. "You can tell me you know."
"No I can't." Merlin said in frustration. "You're the King, and I'm just a servant. Besides we're not friends you say that often enough."
"Merlin, I haven't said that in years and even when I did I didn't mean it. You know that. You know me better than myself most of the time. Just because I don't say it doesn't mean you're not my friend. Because you are, hell you're my best friend. Now, just tell me what's going on. Please... Is someone threatening you?" Arthur asked. Feeling a surge of protectiveness for his manservant. Merlin felt touched, Arthur had said he was his friend. No his best friend. If only he could tell him what was going on.
"No. Arthur, I'm sorry. I just can't tell you I want to, really I do. But..." Merlin began apologetically.
"You don't trust me." Arthur said.
"No. No Arthur it's not that." Merlin said pleadingly.
"Then what?" Arthur demanded. "Why won't you tell me?" Merlin didn't know what to say, then he realised he didn't have to mention the druids. Or even Tabitha for that matter.
"Alright I'll tell you. There's this women I have feelings for, and I don't know what to do. She asked me a while ago about us maybe being together and I said no. It was because of things I have no control over and I hate it. So she met someone else and now she's falling in love with someone who happens to be my friend too. Well, I'm not really sure if we are friends any more. Even if she wasn't with him we can't be together. So there's no point in saying all this really because there's no way I can stop feeling like this." Merlin finished, it actually had felt good to get it out.
Arthur was still worried though. He hated seeing Merlin this way, he wasn't meant to be depressed. It was Merlin. He was still hurt Merlin wouldn't come to him about it, he was jealous for a second that Merlin might have talked to Gwaine or Tabitha instead.
"Merlin who is she." Arthur asked. Merlin didn't know what to say to that, he began to speak when Gwaine came along.
"Princess you're needed in the throne room, there's a woman there that needs to speak with you." Gwaine said. Arthur looked at Merlin in concern, he didn't want to leave him on his own. It was like Merlin could read his mind though.
"I'll come with you." Merlin said.
"Won't you fall asleep?" Arthur asked.
"It depends, will you be talking?" Merlin asked. Arthur just laughed, relieved Merlin seemed a bit happier for having talked about it. He started to head off to the throne room. Merlin made to follow him before Gwaine stopped him.
"Merlin, Arthur said in training he tried to find you yesterday. He seemed to think you were at the tavern." Gwaine said.
"Well, you know me." Merlin said nervously.
"It's just I was at the tavern most of the day, and I didn't see you there. So where were you?" Gwaine asked.
"Um... I..." Merlin said desperately trying to think of where he could have been. Usually he knew his lies before hand, because at the end of the day he really was a terrible liar.
"Merlin it's alright. You don't have to tell me, but remember I'm here if you ever need to talk alright." Gwaine said.
"I'll keep that in mind." Merlin said, thinking about what Gwaine meant by that. He couldn't know could he? No, he would have said something. They began to towards the throne room. "Oh, by the way what did the woman want to talk to Arthur about?"
"Her village was attacked by a druid camp near Camelot." Gwaine said. Merlin heart stopped, it couldn't be Neva's camp. They wouldn't hurt anyone, but then again neither would any of the other druids. They were peaceful. This women had to by lying. If it came to it though, who would Arthur believe? It wouldn't be the sorcerers. What would he do then? Merlin's mind was still working frantically as they went into the throne room.
The meeting had already started. Gwaine went to stand with the other knights and Merlin with Gaius, he could see Tabitha stood at the back. She usually got into the council meetings. Merlin knew she had no idea about what was coming from the smile she gave him, Merlin wanted to warn her in some way but didn't know how.
"What was it you wanted to ask me." Arthur asked, his tone gentle and concerned. Merlin only just took in the women standing before the King. She was around their age. She had the clothes of a servant, that were worn out and torn. She had a shoddy cloak that was covered in mud at the bottom as if she had been running through a forest. Her hair really caught your eye though. It was a flaming red, and was also a mess.
"Mi lord." She said curtseying. "I have come from just outside the forest of Embers. My village, it has been attacked by sorcerers. Druids from the forest. They came out of nowhere. They took everything we have, many of the men died trying to stop them. We were no match for the evil of magic." She seemed distraught by the time she had finished. Merlin and Tabitha exchanged a look with Tabitha, who's eyes were wide.
Arthur was very concerned, since his father died he hadn't put any sorcerers to death. He still had nightmares from when he had attacked that druid camp. He thought the druids where peaceful. It had always made him think what if magic isn't evil? Every time he had thought that in the past though he had been proved wrong, this must be another of those times.
"I am sorry for your grievances, I shall make sure you do not starve." Arthur said reassuringly.
"Mi lord, I thank you for your kindness. That is not the real reason I came to Camelot though. I came to warn you. I overheard a druid say they were planning to attack Camelot, and soon. I urge you Mi lord, stop them before they become to strong for even the might of Camelot. The evil of magic will not rest until it has destroyed all the good there is in this world." The woman said desperately.
For years Merlin had had to listen to people going on about the evil of magic. After all this time it still hurt to hear someone talk about magic like that, he had learned to hide it though. Something Tabitha hadn't learned. She was red in the face with anger and indignation, seeming like she wanted nothing more than to say something. She restrained herself, but only just.
At least Merlin knew the woman was lying now. From the beginning there had been something about her. She seemed upset, but it was like she was laughing at them with her eyes. Like Morgana did when she was still in Camelot as Uthers ward. Of course only Merlin and Tabitha were looking for that. Merlin knew the druids wouldn't attack a village, let alone Camelot. Why would this woman lie about it though?
Arthur couldn't see any of this though, all he saw was a threat to his Kingdom. He only knew he wouldn't let Camelot fall to magic. Not while he was alive. He couldn't take the risk, he had to stop these druids.
"I want all the knights I can spare ready to ride out to the forest of Embers." Arthur ordered. "We will strike before nightfall."
The knights left the throne room to go to the courtyard, Tabitha and Merlin found each other just outside.
"We can't let them do this, those druids wouldn't hurt anyone." Tabitha said desperately.
"I know." Merlin said.
"Wait... They won't be able to find the druids will they? The mist?" Tabitha said hopefully.
"They're trying to find the druids, they'll get through." Merlin said.
"Then what do we do?" Tabitha asked in panic.
"I'll try and get a message to them, we just have to hope it gets there before we do." Merlin said, Tabitha nodded.
"We should go, We don't want to be left behind." Tabitha said.
They went down to the courtyard, and got on their horses with the others. Tabitha breathing faster than usual and her hands shaking slightly. The knights that weren't part of the round table had learnt not to ask why Tabitha was there.
They made their way through the forest. Merlin had sent the message to the druids with his mind and hadn't heard back. It didn't take long for the Knights and Arthur to notice that there was something wrong with Merlin and Tabitha. They hardly said anything, and kept giving each other nervous looks the closer they got to the druids. Gwaine asked Merlin if he was alright and he said he was. So Gwaine knew it was time to start worrying about his friend.
They were almost there and eventually they came to the mist. The knights spent a while staring at it in awe. Merlin and Tabitha knew that the shower of light was all there was between them and the druids now, they started to breathe faster. They passed through the amber mist and Merlin could hear them. The druids, like a hundred voices in his head. They had only just gotten his message, there was no time now though.
Tabitha and Merlin tried to make excuses, reasons they should go back. None of which Arthur listened to. When they could all actually hear the druids and see them through the trees Arthur stopped them. For a second Merlin hoped that he would call off the attack, he didn't though.
"Listen to me." Arthur ordered. "I don't want women or children to be harmed, anyone that disobeys that order will be punished. Understand?" Everyone nodded. Tabitha's heart beat faster and when Arthur finally shouted.
"Attack!" She could barely breathe.
She followed the knights to see druids running in all directions, people she had come to know. Mothers were holding onto their children. Men were protecting their wives. Fear on everyone's faces.
Tabitha stood there, not exactly sure which side she was fighting for. She had a strong sense of loyalty to both sides. Merlin seemed to be having the same problem.
Tabitha looked around trying to see Carson, or Matt. There were so many people though and she couldn't make them out.
She noticed, while standing there in confusion, none of the druids were using magic. a few had found swords and were defending themselves with them , but only defending. If these people weren't peaceful she didn't know who were. Why couldn't Arthur see that?
Then something happened to bring Tabitha back to reality. She suddenly saw a knight about to bring his sword down on a middle aged man, Tabitha recognised him as the father of one of Matt's friends. He, as the other druids were, was making no attempt to stop the attack with magic. Probably out of fear that they may harm their attacker.
Tabitha forced herself forward, putting her sword between the druid and the knight. There was the clang of metal that could be heard around them. She looked up to meet the knights eyes and saw Gwaine's. Something like realisation went through them, and he lowered his sword stepping back from them.
Arthur had no idea that Tabitha was helping the druids. He saw the druids weren't fighting back though. Why weren't they? They were sorcerers, they didn't care about anyone but themselves. Why weren't they fighting back then? All this made him remember the last time he attacked a druid camp. It was all too familiar. The screaming, the fear. The knights were true to their word though, as no women or children were being harmed. He did see a few fallen men though, making guilt surge through him. He was about to call off the attack. But then, having been lost in thought, he lost grip of his sword which had been swinging through the air.
Tabitha looked up from Gwaine at that point and saw Arthur. She blinked, closing her eyes. When she opened them it was as if everything went into slow motion. All she could hear was the thud of her heartbeat. And although it couldn't have been much more than a few seconds, it felt like hours
Tabitha saw the sword leave Arthur's hand and go through the air. The blade glinting in the sunlight as it went towards, someone she knew well. Matt couldn't even see the sword, he had his back to it. She didn't know if Arthur meant to throw the sword or not, but that didn't matter any more. Tabitha tried to cry out, get him to turn around. He didn't though. He couldn't even hear her over the battle.
She looked for Merlin, she found him. He didn't know any of this was going on. Tabitha wished she didn't know this was going on.
Tabitha just wanted it to stop. To get in the way, anything. She didn't though. She just stood there in fear. What if she didn't get there in time? What if she let down the boy she'd come to think of as a brother? In the back of her mind though, she knew she was already letting him down. By not even trying.
All she could do was close her eyes, and when she did the hours became what they really were. Just a few seconds. When she opened them she heard the battle, the clanging of metal. Time had returned to normal. The battle was just as it was before.
Matt had turned just in time to see the sword. He couldn't take it in, let alone get out of the way. It would all have all been over... If Carson hadn't gotten in the way. He gave a cry of pain. Matt could barely keep him up, his eyes going from fear to anger. He let out a cry much like Merlin had when Balinor died. Letting out as much power as he could, Arthur and the knights were thrown against trees and knocked unconscious. Until only the druids, Merlin and Tabitha were left standing. Merlin had never felt so much magic surge past him.
Matt, having used all his strength, fell to the forest floor. leaning Carson against a tree as best he could. Tears fell from his eyes. There was red seeping through Carson's clothes. Merlin and Tabitha were by his side in seconds, Tabitha grabbing his hand and holding it tight.
"C-Carson... Carson can you hear me?" Tabitha asked desperately, her voice breaking. She had only just made it to him, having felt like she was going to collapse back there. It was like her heart stopped.
"Tabitha?" Carson said weakly. Tabitha's heart started again, he was still with her. She knew she wouldn't let him go.
"Carson, Carson I'm here." Tabitha said, her voice frantic.
"Where's Matt?" Carson asked.
"I'm here too, I'm alright. I'm s-so sorry. This is all my fault. If I'd have gotten out of the way..." Matt sobbed.
"Matt." Carson's voice wasn't very loud, but Matt fell silent straight away. "Don't be. I don't regret it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you... Tabitha I-"
"Don't." Tabitha almost screamed. "I know what happens now, don't you even try to say goodbye to me. Don't you dare you're not going to die. I won't let that happen. There must be something we can do Merlin, your Emrys."
"Tabitha..." Merlin began, his eyes wet with tears. He could see the desperation in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"No. Don't say that. Save him please there must be something you can do." Tabitha begged.
"Please." Matt said, in a small voice. He had his arms around his knees and was shaking.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Merlin said, tears now falling.
"No don't, please don't say sorry just don't. I won't give up on him alright. I won't." Tabitha yelled. "Just do something, save him that's what you do in Camelot you save people."
"Not everyone." Merlin said, almost pleadingly.
"Then what's the point of you." She screamed, her eyes swimming with tears of pain. Merlin knew how much she was hurting, but those words still hurt him deeply. Maybe she was right. What was the point of him if he couldn't even protect his friends.
"It's not his fault Tabitha." Carson said, his voice getting weaker. "I'm too far gone."
"You can't be." Tabitha sobbed. "We still need that life we wanted, when magic is free."
"You'll have it." Carson said before looking to Merlin. "Just not with me. Look after them Merlin."
"You know I will." Merlin said reassuringly.
"Can I get this out of me?" Carson asked, looking at the sword still embedded in his chest. Merlin nodded sadly and Tabitha pulled it out throwing it as far away from them as possible. Carson breathed a short lived sigh of relief, you could see him fading. "Don't hate him, please don't let this change you." Carson said, before his eyes closed and he let out his last breath.
"Carson... Carson. No." Tabitha started shouting again. Merlin put his arms around her. She tried to push him away, hitting him. He held onto her though. She didn't have the strength to fight any more and just held on to him like she never wanted to let go.
She had never felt pain like this, it hurt more than anything. More than swords ever could. She had loved Carson, no she did love Carson. Nothing would change that not even death. It was so unfair. He had so much of his life ahead of him, and now it was just gone. And why? Tabitha felt like screaming. It was because of Arthur, Carson was dead and it was his fault. All his fault. Tabitha felt so much rage inside her threatening to come to the surface.
Over Merlin's shoulder Tabitha could see the druids that were still alive, all stood around the trees. She had forgotten they were there. Neva came closer to them. She, as all druids did, had many charms of the old religion around her neck. She lifted one up and kissed it, before holding it up into the sky. All the other druids soon did the same. Not saying anything, just holding it to the sky as some kind of mark of respect. Tabitha just clung tighter to Merlin.
She didn't know how they did it. Stayed peaceful when they had lost so much, how they felt pity instead of hatred for the people that wanted them and everyone they cared about dead. She thought she understood why all those sorcerers attacked Camelot, but she didn't. Until you lose someone you love because of a Pendragon you can't even pretend to understand. They were ruining lives and had no idea.
Tabitha then remembered Matt was behind her, she felt guilty even through everything else that was tearing her apart. She hadn't even tried to stay strong for him.
She turned to see him, just in time to see hatred fill his eyes through his tears. He was looking at the sword covered in blood not far from him. He pushed himself up taking the sword and going, with determination on his face, to where Arthur lay. The other druids saw what was going on, but made no attempt to stop him. They lived closely together so all of them had suffered a loss. He held the sword over him about to bring it down, but then stopped.
Merlin tried to get up, but Tabitha got in his way.
"Tabitha" Merlin said. "We have to stop him."
"No we don't." Tabitha said. Merlin suddenly felt so afraid, he didn't want lose Tabitha. Not like he did Morgana. He couldn't let this happen again to someone he cared about, he wouldn't.
"Tabitha please." Merlin said pleadingly, begging her with his eyes.
"We don't because he's not going to hurt him." Tabitha said taking a deep breath, holding back her tears for a while. She got up and went closer to Matt. "Matt the last thing Carson said to us was don't let this change you. Don't let it. You are good person, you know that and if you do this you will hate yourself. It will make you worse than him."
Matt shook his head, the sword was shaking in his hands. "I can't let him get away with this, my brother is dead. He was the only family I had. Now I have no one." Matt said. Tabitha could see out of the corner of her eye the druid girl with long black hair and a druid boy shake their heads at the last part.
"You don't have no one. I know it doesn't mean much, but you've got me. I'll always be there for you." Tabitha said her voice strong, until with her next words she broke into sobs again. "Please Matt. I've just lost your brother I don't want to lose you too."
Matt looked back at her before he let out a heartbreaking cry, and brought down the sword. It sank into the ground by Arthur's head. Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Tabitha pulled Matt into a fierce hug, which he returned clinging onto her. Tabitha looked at Arthur over Matt's shoulder and felt the same surge of anger, she pushed it down though.
They left the knights and Arthur there, knowing in a few hours they would wake. They moved on to give the fallen druids a proper burial. Neither Matt nor Tabitha said another word during it, they just held each others hands tight. Tabitha also held Merlin close to her, she really needed him.
When it was over Merlin and Tabitha agreed to staying with the druids that night and going back to Camelot in the morning. Merlin lit a roaring fire to warm up the cold night. Most of the druids were sat around it with their loved ones. A few were crying, including Matt. The girl from earlier, had her arm around him. The druid boy was talking to him, his father being the man Tabitha saved earlier. Merlin saw that Tabitha wasn't there, she was sat not too far away at the edge of the trees. She was hugging her knees like she always did when she was upset. Tear tracks running down her face. Merlin went over to her.
"Tabitha, I know it doesn't make any difference but I am so sorry." Merlin said.
"Merlin." Tabitha said, before a guilty look came over her face. "I should be the one to say sorry. Those things I said to you, they were unforgivable."
"You were hurting, it's alright." Merlin said understandingly.
"No, it's not alright. I know if anything could have been done you'd do it." Tabitha said, before looking out into the night. "I miss him so much."
"I'll always be there for you, you know that." Merlin said. "Do you hate Arthur?"
"I don't know. I don't think Arthur meant to throw that sword, but still. I don't know if I can see him again without remembering, and all of it coming back. Even now when I think of him it... I feel so angry. How do you do it Merlin?" Tabitha asked, and Merlin sighed.
"Arthur only killed Freya because all he saw was a creature, he did it to protect people. I forgave him as soon as it happened... Do you think you'll ever forgive him?" Merlin said.
"I think I will forgive him, it just might take me a bit longer than you.." Tabitha said, Merlin nodded. "Am I evil?"
"How can you even ask that?" Merlin said, the question coming out of nowhere.
"I thought about letting Matt do it, kill Arthur. It was like I really understood why Morgana did all those things. I was just so full of hate and I wanted Arthur to feel the pain I was feeling. Am I like her?"Tabitha asked.
"Tabitha you are nothing like her. You didn't let Matt hurt Arthur. You didn't let the hate get in the way of doing what is right, that's the difference between you." Merlin said.
"Thanks Merlin." Tabitha breathed. "I needed that." She leant against Merlin and he put his arm around her. She really did need him right now, as a friend.
Morgana sat around the fire, in the woods just outside Camelot. There was a crack behind her and she stiffened. "How long have you been there?" Morgana asked the air.
"Not long." Came a reply from behind her, Myra came and sat on the other side of the fire. Her bright red hair flickering.
"Did everything go as plan?" Morgana asked coldly.
"The foolish King of Camelot believed what I told him, he attacked the druids. He killed a man that may be the one you saw in your vision, he did die in the same way. There was a girl like the one you told me about who cried over his body." Myra said.
"Oh what a shame." Morgana said a smile playing on her lips. "What of Arthur?"
"When the man was killed a druid boy let out a burst of magic, leaving the knights and Arthur unconscious. I thought he would be the one to kill him, but then the women stopped him. In the end they left knowing Arthur would wake up eventually." Myra finished.
"So if sir Gwaine and my dear brother were unconscious then only part of my vision came to pass. More is to come, including the Kings death." Morgana said with an evil smirk on her face. "But why did you not just kill him yourself when they left?"
"I followed the others instead, it was more important." Myra said.
"More important than the death of my brother and the fall of Camelot?" Morgana said angrily.
"Yes Morgana." Myra smiled. "For I know the identity of Emrys."
I know, sadness overload. Don't worry it will be balanced out with bromance in the chapters to come. This is a reveal fic so Arthur will find out eventually. I've got a good idea how, but I'm still not sure if I'm going to make Merlin and Tabitha fall in love yet. I will review as soon as possible, I think I've been fairly quick so far. Review please :) :) :)