The first Sunday of December blew in along with the winter chill that was characteristic of Scotland. While the bulk of the first years were gearing up for their first major snowball fight of the year, everyone else were eagerly awaiting this month's Magical Music Mystery Medley and the Headmistress did not disappoint.
Teacher:
Pomona Sprout – Katy Perry, "Roar"
Students:
Fred/George Weasley – Jerry Lee Lewis, "Great Balls of Fire"
Millicent Bulstrode – Aretha Franklin, "Respect"
Wayne Hopkins – Lynyrd Skynrd, "Sweet Home Alabama"
Michael Corner – Maroon 5, "Moves Like Jagger"
"As a bonus to all, Miss Lovegood and the senior staff have put together a selection of Christmas music that will be broadcast in the halls during the day up to the start of curfew."
Harry was busting a gut laughing at the choice of Song for Professor Sprout and for Wayne Hopkins. Both were perfect for each person. Professor Sprout had that genial, happy-to-be-there sort of attitude unless you riled her up or she needed to defend her students; then the claws came out. In his opinion, when push came to shove Pomona Sprout was no spring rose!
Wayne Hopkins on the other hand, was the quintessential 'laid-back, whatever happens' sort of boy. He worked hard and diligently but there was nothing he liked better than to just lay in his hammock back home, kick off his shoes and just spend the day staring up at the blue sky and dream.
After the media sensation surrounding Millicent Bulstrode's children's book, 'Puddles the Clown and The Sad Circus,' people definitely had a lot of respect for the young second year Slytherin student. She was currently writing up her next book of what was being labeled as the 'Young Magical Series,' where the main character would find a need to create and use a different charm or spell to solve a problem. Puddles the Clown had developed the Cheering Charm and Tickling Hex; her next character was going to use the Levitation Charm and Mutato Spell, or the spell to change one thing to another like they did in McGonagall's first class wherein they had to change a matchstick into a needle. She was still getting the occasional first year student coming up to her asking for her autograph.
It was a known fact in Ravenclaw House that Michael Corner loved to dance. It didn't matter which song was playing, he would always find something about it to start tapping his feet or 'getting his groove on.' True to form, he was dancing the moves to the 'Lindy' with Mandy Brocklehurst.
As for the Weasley Twins, everyone agreed that their Song must have been written with them in mind. Great Balls of Fire, indeed.
Luna entered the Great Hall a bit later than normal the next Monday after the post owls had delivered the morning mail and the newspapers, and was startled to have Hermione come up to her and give her a big hug for no apparent reason.
"Um, Hermione? I like you and I really appreciate our friendship but I think I should point out that I'm just not into you that way," mused Luna.
Hermione giggled despite the seriousness of what she had to say, "Luna, in the Daily Prophet this morning, there was an article that outed you as the culprit for the 'subversive muggle propaganda lies.' The author of the article is claiming that because your father never recovered from the loss of your mother, he's no longer fit to be a responsible parent and should be remanded to Saint Mungo's for a psychiatric evaluation and for you to become a Ward of the Ministry."
Luna froze at that news. They wouldn't! Right? Fawkes! I need you!
Fawkes arrived in a burst of flame and song. He flew down and landed in front of Luna and Hermione.
'What is it, my dear? What happened that you called for me?'
Luna grabbed him and wrapped her arms around his feathery body and buried her face into his neck. Tears were streaming down her face. It fell to Hermione to explain what happened. When she finished explaining, Fawkes began crooning to Luna to help calm her fears and to soothe her nerves.
'I promise you child that no one will be taking you anywhere nor will I allow your father to be remanded to Saint Mungo's. I think what you need to do first and foremost is to write a rebuttal letter to the Daily Prophet and explain the truth to them. Invite their reporters to come to the school to witness what an ordinary day is like here, immersed in the joy and laughter with music in all corners. Invite the Minister for Magic, the Director of Magical Law Enforcement and the School Board. Let them see and hear everything. Get ahead of this negativity, Luna.'
Minerva came down from the Teacher's Table and approached Luna, Hermione and Fawkes. She 'heard' what Fawkes said to Luna through the general mental link that the phoenix shared with the Headmistress.
"Miss Lovegood, Fawkes is correct. Go get something to write with and I will help you draft the letter to the Daily Prophet editors," She then addressed everyone in the Great Hall, "I want everyone here to write to your parents or guardians. Explain to them what life has been like since we've started playing the music here at the castle. Miss Lovegood has brought so much joy and happiness to this school that I believe that if the Ministry or the school board were to try to shut it down, they'd have a revolt on their hands."
At the Ministry for Magic, Delores Umbridge's office…
Delores was sitting at her desk, gloating about the article that had been published in the Daily Prophet. She was glad that she had taken Phineas' suggestion and used a Ministry elf to steal one of the records from the school's collection. It was a disgusting piece in her opinion that she was sure would cause an unnatural desire to behave in immoral behavior and suggestive thinking. Besides, what kind of name was 'LMFAO?' What did that stand for? She knew it was an acronym for something, probably something subversive.
She had been certain that her investigation would flush out the perpetrator of that nascent muggle music insurrection at Hogwarts and she was right. Luna Lovegood, first year student of Gryffindor House. It was a shame that the girl was a pureblood. 'Blood traitor, no doubt.' She so looked forward to when the brat would become a Ward of the Ministry. At that point, she would step in and become the misbehaving girl's guardian. Then she'd begin educating her in the way a proper witch behaved. If Miss Lovegood resisted… well, I do have those Blood Quills I've been meaning to use on deserving miscreants…
8 December 1992
Dear Diary;
I'm so glad that I have friends that are willing to stand up for me against those who would put me down. After that article came out in the last Daily Prophet, which claimed that my father wasn't fit to raise me and should be remanded to Saint Mungo's; my friends and schoolmates banded together to write a strongly worded letter to the editors and their parents outlining what it is that I've brought and started here at Hogwarts…
Hogwart's New Magical Musical Mystery Medley
By Arthur Williams
It's not everyday when something new and interesting comes out of Hogwarts. That has all changed this year. A first year student, Miss Luna Lovegood of Gryffindor House, had brought with her a selection of music records that has since grown and been matched with nearly everyone in the school. Slow, romantic songs to fast dancing songs; each one paired to a student whose personality matches. Miss Lovegood is the one responsible for bringing the delights of songs written by classical composers such as Mozart, Pachibel, and Tchaikovsky as well as more modern muggle songwriters such as Will Smith, Foo Fighters and Lynyrd Skynrd.
While just about everyone in the school looks forward to the playing of the month's featured artists and the availability of listening to their own selection of music in the Library Musical Arts Annex, not everyone outside of the school is so happy about the new changes.
"I think that what is being played is nothing more than insidious muggle propaganda and lies," stated Lucius Malfoy (41) of Wiltshire, "Those songs inspire rebellion and a unhealthy desire to break with proper wizarding traditions and behaviors."
This reporter had the opportunity to travel to Hogwarts to speak with Headmistress Minerva McGonagall and Miss Lovegood to hear for myself the quality of these songs and to see if there was any substance to the allegations. Miss Lovegood, who claims to have some Seer capability, looked at me for a moment before pulling out and setting up a record titled, 'Wouldn't It Be Nice?' by a muggle group called 'The Beach Boys.' This reporter has to admit that it's a catchy tune and got me nodding along. It brought up memories of spending time with my long-time girlfriend before she and her family moved after the last break out of conflict.
It has also come to this reporter's attention that since the introduction of playing music in the halls and during the monthly attendances in the Great Hall, test scores have dramatically risen and aggressive behaviors have significantly dropped. There are students from all four Houses getting together and bonding over the different choices of music.
It makes this reporter wonder, if the legendary animosity between the Houses can be overcome with the introduction of music, what other effects could be possible with the expansion of the Hogwarts' Library Musical Arts Annex and introduction of Magical Arts and Crafts?
Luna was feeling much happier after that article by Mr. Williams was published. She had students from all years coming up to her and giving a hug and well wishes, even the Slytherins! Not one of them had anything bad to say about the monthly musical medley and even had a few suggestions of their own. She reminded them that they were more than welcome to bring a copy of their selection in and have it placed within the rotation.
She glided down the hallways, swaying and dancing a little bit to the sounds of the random Christmas music that was being played. Even the castle elves and ghosts were getting into the action. The elves had started decorating themselves with little baubles and bells while the ghosts would wish anyone they came into contact with a 'Happy Christmas' or were singing Carols. Even the notoriously grumpy Bloody Baron would give out a gruff response. Peeves the Poltergeist took great pleasure in coming up with Christmas-related pranks to pull on the students and staff as well as belting out rude versions of the ghost's Carols.
That afternoon during lunch, Luna was sitting with Harry, Hermione and Neville. They were discussing their upcoming plans for the holidays. Harry was telling them about the tree that Sirius had planned on getting for the sitting room and the 'adventures' he had gotten himself into obtaining it. It had the others in stitches from laughing so much.
"Harry?" began Luna, "Would you happen to have a Christmas-related potion that we could use on the staff and other students?"
Harry pursed his lips in thought, "What sort of effects do you want it to have?"
"I was thinking that it would cause the person to take on the appearance of a Christmas tree if they were to be hit with a Tickling hex?" she offered.
Harry put on a thoughtful look, "It might be possible to do that. Whom do you want it to affect?"
"Everyone. I think if it were to be added to the morning tea or juice it would get nearly everyone. Then we could hit them with a couple of Tickling hexes and let the knowledge spread about how to get the others to change," Luna explained.
Hermione laughed at the idea, "I think it's a brilliant idea! What do you say Harry?"
Harry hemmed and hawed for a moment before agreeing to the plan. He and Hermione then brought out their Assistant's and began assembling the potion.
Neville was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room studying for an upcoming Charms test when Ronald Weasley approached him, chessboard in hand.
"Hey Neville! Wanna come play chess with me?"
"No, Ron. I have a Charms test to study for and I would suspect that you do as well."
"Awww, but that test isn't until next week! Come on, just one game?" Ron pleaded, though in Neville's mind, it was a whine.
"Ron? I have access to Harry's potion stores. Do you really want to continue to annoy me?" Neville said with a threatening glare.
Ron's face immediately paled and the twit shook his head quickly before vacating the room.
"Good job there, Neville," called out one of the Weasley Twins from where they were sitting, "We're going to have to remember that threat!"
"I think I'm going to need to put a Ron Weasley specific Notice-Me-Not Charm on myself so I can study in peace," Neville groused.
The Twins just chuckled and went back to what they were doing.
Harry was busy in the Hufflepuff Potion's Laboratory that same evening. Hermione was busy helping him as well. She was preparing the ingredients for the Christmas potion prank. Finely chopped up, fresh pine needles were being collected in one pile, the cutting board was then cleaned to prevent cross-contamination. Next she began distilling cinnamon sticks to get the oils. While that was happening, Harry was boiling sliced oranges, cloves and cranberries. The whole room was filling with heavenly aromas.
"Harry? Do you have any rosemary?" asked Hermione.
"Um…look in the cabinet to the left. I think I saw some in there. I have no idea if it's recently processed."
Hermione began rummaging around in the cabinet for the rosemary and came across the nutmeg. She grabbed the ingredients list to check if it was needed and spotted it. Nodding, she continued her hunt for the rosemary.
Once all the ingredients that needed constant observation were finished being processed, Hermione began getting the cauldrons and tools cleaned for the last step. Harry brought out the final ingredients and a large bowl. He mixed up the base of gelatin, corn starch and water then added the strained contents of the potpourri and added a couple of magical ingredients that would react with the wanded portion of the prank.
"Ok, Hermione. We just let this whole thing simmer for about fifteen minutes then let it cool. It should resemble a thin gruel when done. In the meantime, I thought you'd help me with another recipe. This one would make for nice Christmas gifts."
"Oh? What are they?"
"Magical bath bombs. These are different than the muggle ones that just fizz in water and give off a nice scent."
Hermione smiled, "Ooh, do tell."
"Ok, the base ingredients are the same. We need to add a couple of more ingredients that can't be found outside the magical world," he said.
"What are the properties?"
"Um… let's see. These make complex designs in the water and turn the steam different colors. We can alter the recipe slightly so they make soothing music, gently scrub your body or change the color of the water based on your mood."
"Oh, Merlin I think I'm going to drool. It's a shame that we can't market these to the non-magical world. Yes, let's get started."
9 December 1992
Dear Diary;
I think living in the same house as the Weasley Twins is starting to affect me in ways I could never have imagined! Imagine sweet, adorable me coming up with a prank! I sure hope that Harry will be able to get it to work…
The next morning, Harry approached Luna with a sample phial of the completed Christmas prank potion. He also had a small bag of magical bath bombs and a scrap of parchment.
"Morning, Luna. I have a couple of gifts for you. First, this is a sample of the Christmas prank potion. I want you to test it first and if it meets your specifications then I'll give it to the elves to put in the drinks. The second thing here is a small bag of magical bath bombs. Contrary to their name, they don't explode in contact with bath water. What they do is start to fizz, change the color of the water and steam and gently scrubs your body."
"That's fascinating, Harry. Thank you. What's on the parchment?"
"This is the incantation to use on those you want to trigger the Christmas prank on. I've made a few copies. The wandwork is just a simple swish and flick. The incantation is Mutare ad Natale."
Luna giggled and bounced on her feet, "Ooh! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"
Harry laughed, "Then I'll have to guess that you don't need to test the potion?"
Luna shook her head, her hair flipping back and forth.
"Fine then. I'm off to the kitchens to give the batch to the elves. I'd give it until dinner tonight before trying out the spell."
"How long do the effects last?" she inquired, barely containing a squeal.
"Eh…about four hours but I'll be giving the elves enough to spike the drinks for the rest of the week. Have fun!" He waved as he walked away towards the kitchens.
Luna was in such a nervous and excited state that she could barely sit still in class and when it was time for dinner, she raced through the halls to get to the Great Hall and pick out a prime seat location. Neville eased up next to her and asked her if he could join her.
"Of course. Oooh, I can't wait for the dinner to be served!" she nearly squealed.
"Uh… is this something I should be worried about?"
She gave him a coy look, "Maaay-beee."
"Uh-oh. Luna Lovegood pulling a prank, now this is something I just have to see."
The rest of the school began filtering in and were seated. The food and drinks were served and the night's musical selection began playing in the background. Neville kept his eye on Luna knowing that there was mayhem in the works.
"So whose your first target, Luna?"
"I was thinking the Weasley Twins."
"Starting big are we? Well, fire away," Neville replied.
So Luna pulled her wand, pointed it at one of the Twins, gave it a swish and flick while saying the incantation 'Mutare ad Natale!' The spell hit George (or was it Fred) and caused him to break out in Christmas colors and give off a Christmas potpourri scent. The others around him burst out laughing before they too broke out with the same effect.
Neville was beside himself with laughter, the Twins and those affected were giving him funny looks. He shook his head and held up his hands in supplication. Luna meanwhile was targeting others in the Hall. She caught Harry and Hermione's eye and nodded. They in turn began spelling others at their tables. It only took a few moments before those around the three to overhear the incantation and target their friends or table mates. The Great Hall was rapidly filling with laughter and the sight and smell of Christmas.
Severus was watching the growing pandemonium with mirth in his eyes. This sort of thing could only be the work of Harry Potter. He caught the boy's eye and with a small gesture inquired as to what set off the prank. Harry motioned to the drink containers then turned back to his meal. Severus pulled out his Potioneer's Assistant and wrote off a quick question to Harry, asking him what was the trigger phrase and wand motion. He read off the response and pulled his wand.
Minerva was trying to maintain a stern expression but was rapidly losing integrity. She had just taken a sip of her tea when she heard Severus whisper something. A moment later, Remus was covered in Christmas colors and emitting a holiday scent. This caused Pomona to laugh out loud and target Filius who then targeted Minerva.
Remus leaned towards the table and stared in shock at Severus. Severus in the meanwhile had a smug smile on his face. 'I finally got to prank a Marauder! I feel complete now.' Remus shook his head in exasperation and tried to dispel the effect but to no avail. He glanced back at Severus who pointed to his watch, held up four fingers and made a circular motion to denote hours. Remus grimaced and leaned back in his chair.
It was a very happy and thoroughly scented Luna that crawled into bed that night.
The events of the prior night which was rapidly going down in history as 'The Great Hogwarts Christmas Prank of 1992' were the talk of the students and staff. Harry was besieged with requests from the population for the recipe to use on friends and family at home. When everyone found out who it was that instigated the Christmas prank, Luna was hailed as an evil genius by the Weasley Twins and dubbed an honorary Marauder.
Harry had written back home to Sirius and explained what had happened and got a request back for a copy of the memory to be played in the family pensieve. He had to go to Remus to learn how to extract and copy the memory but once that was done, he packaged it up and trekked up to the Owlery in search of Hedwig.
"My Lady, would you be interested in a journey to visit my godfather?"
"Hoot."
"Very well then. I have everything ready to go already," he said. He attached the letter and the memory phial to her leg and gave her a kiss and let her take off.
15 December 1992
Dear Diary;
I'm so happy that my prank went so well! The Weasley Twins have declared me to be one of their own. I have no idea as to what that means but… whatever. One more week to go and I can go home to visit Daddy! Squeee! I should also remember to thank Hermione Granger about her offer to come stay with her and her family for a week in the muggle world. I'm sure that it will be fascinating and educational.
It was the week before Christmas break and Luna was in the Library again studying for an upcoming test, this time it was Potions. She had with her a copy of the Potioneer's Assistant which was now required of all new students. Her assignment was to explain the properties of Moondew in the preparation of making the Wiggenweld Potion. As she was writing, she heard Fawkes' voice in her mind.
'Hello Luna. What are you working on?'
"I'm working on studying for an upcoming Potion's test. I'm also working on writing up an explanation of the Moondew, which is an ingredient of the Wiggenweld Potion. What are you up to?"
'Surprisingly enough, I'm not up to anything. I'm monitoring some of the fledglings as they prepare for their first flight. What's this I heard about a epic prank?'
Luna giggled quietly, "Yes, I came up with the idea but it was Harry Potter and Hermione Granger who figured out the potion itself and the wandwork necessary to trigger the effects. What it does is, once the target has unknowingly ingested the potion which had been previously introduced to the food and drinks of the day, a spell is used to cause the person to break out in Christmas colors and to start smelling like Christmas potpourri."
She could hear Fawkes trilling in amusement, 'Oh, young one! That truly is inspiring! So I imagine the castle now smells like potpourri all over the place?'
"Oh, yes. Depending on where you are and how many people are in the area, the scent could become quite heavy. My first targets were the infamous Weasley Twins. As a result, I was named an honorary Marauder, whatever that is."
"Well, if memory serves, the Marauders were a quartet of Gryffindor boys who pranked the students and staff during the years of 1971 to 1978. I believe that one of the boys was Harry Potter's father, another was his godfather and the third was the boy's honorary uncle.'
"What about the fourth member?"
'Ah, he was the one who eventually turned against his friends and betrayed Mr. Potter's parents to Lord Voldemort.'
"May I know their names? I'd like to find out who they were through the Strings."
'James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin.'
"Professor Lupin? Wow, I had no idea that he was a Marauder though that would explain why no one has been able to prank him. I think I shall look through the Strings after I get my homework and studying done."
'Wise choice, Luna. If there is nothing else, then I shall let you continue.'
"Goodbye Fawkes."
"Luna?"
Luna blinked owlishly for a moment before realizing that Ginny Weasley was watching her worriedly.
"I'm sorry Ginny, were you wanting something?"
"You were sitting there with your eyes closed and not responding to me calling your name. I was just about to call for Madam Pomfrey."
"Oh, I was just talking with Fawkes. I was telling him about my part in the Christmas prank that was such a big hit and about the aftermath about it. I told him about your twin brothers naming me an honorary Marauder. He told me about the original Marauders and who they were."
"Really? Wow, I didn't know that he knew about them but then again, the bird is a phoenix. He's probably really old and knows a lot," Ginny rambled a bit at the end, "So. What were you working on before your conversation with Fawkes?"
"Potions. I was trying to figure out how to explain the properties of Moondew and how it affects the Wiggenweld Potion. You?"
"I'm going to get started on my Herbology homework," Ginny replied before getting up again and heading off in search of the book she needed.
Harry, Hermione and Neville were sitting in one of the glass-enclosed sunrooms they had found one of their usual explorations of the castle. The room was tastefully done in the Art Nouveau style of the 1920s and overlooked the Black Lake and parts of the Forbidden Forest. An elf had just left a tea service when Luna approached.
"Hello everyone. This certainly is a lovely place you've found."
"It is, isn't it?" replied Hermione, "I never knew that Hogwarts had such places. I'd say given the architecture that it was designed either by a muggleborn or raised or a half-blood. Won't you join us?"
"Thank you. I just wanted to share with you that my first batch of Chocolate Snorkack cards are all ready for mass production. Harry, I'd like to thank you again for speaking with your printer about getting a small production run made," she said as she sat down on one of the lounge chairs.
Harry waved it off, "It was no problem, Luna. I'm always willing to help out with a promising enterprise. The current Chocolate Frog cards are rather boring. You only get a certain number of historical witches or wizards and in my opinion, the creatures you feature are way more interesting."
Neville turned to Luna, "Could you give us an example as to what will be featured in your cards?"
She nodded, "I'm following the Ministry Classifications of X through XXXXX for magical and mundane creatures though there will be a special category for the cryptomagizoology. Those will be the One of A Kind cards and display creatures like the Crumple-horned Snorkack, Flittering Busbys, Blibbering Humdingers and many others that my father and I have searched for over the years."
"So the Common Set will be the creatures of the Class X and the Exclusive Set will be the Class XXXXX?"
"Yes."
"So when do they go on sale and how much will they cost?"
Luna looked over at Harry who replied, "They go on sale at the usual places that you'd find Chocolate Frog cards and cost the same, about 1 Sickle."
Neville nodded in understanding, "So do you have any on you that I might be able to look at before making up my mind to buy any?"
Luna blushed slightly and smiled shyly, "I do but you're going to have to wait until you get home. I gifted all three of you a complete set of all six classifications for Christmas."
Neville grinned and gave her a big hug; Luna's slight blush went full pink. Hermione chuckled at Luna's predicament.
When the four of them began to break up and head off to other pursuits, Harry pulled Luna aside and asked her if she could find a particular record for him.
"Sure. What's the name of the song and who was the songwriter?"
"The Song is 'Brown-Eyed Girl' and was sung by a guy named 'Van Morrison.'" Harry replied, "I want to learn the lyrics so I can sing it to Hermione for Valentine's Day."
"Awww, that's so sweet Harry," Luna gushed, "Meet me in the Annex after classes and I'll help you look for it. I'm pretty sure I have it and if I don't then I can easily order it to be delivered to your home."
"Thanks Luna."
18 December 1992
Dear Diary;
I found something in the castle that I had no idea even existed. I showed it to my friends and they were impressed! Who knew that Hogwarts offered such activities such as dance, aerobics and water sports?! I wonder why it was stopped? I also thought up what has to be an even better prank than the Christmas potpourri one…
Two days before the school let out for the holidays, Luna was sitting in her Charms class working quietly on a review of the previous lessons. Subconsciously she waved her wand in the patterns of the levitation charm, the sticking charm and a couple of the others. She heard a clearing of a throat and when she looked up, she spotted Professor Flitwick stuck to the ceiling.
"Miss Lovegood? I take it that this was unintentional?"
Luna just blinked owlishly for a moment. 'I did that?' "Um, yes professor. I'm sorry; I wasn't paying attention to where my wand was aiming. Uh… let's see. 'Finite Incantatum Gluten!'"
Professor Flitwick became unstuck to the ceiling but remained in the air. Luna flicked her wand again and lowered him to the ground with the spell Demitto Corporis. Once he was back on his own two feet, he dusted himself off, "Well Miss Lovegood, I am giving you five points for an excellent job at spell chain casting and the removal of said charms. It would've been ten points if not for your inattentiveness to your surroundings."
After classes let out, Luna was wandering through the halls when she heard a fast paced dance song coming from one of the empty classrooms. She stopped by and poked her head in to see several Seventh year students of both boys and girls dancing to LMFAO's song, 'Juicy Wiggle.' Some of the moves they were doing to each other were rather suggestive to say the least so she got out of there quickly. There was no need to interrupt them and disrupt their fun.
She continued her meanderings and eventually came across a room with a strange wooden floor, mirrors on all the walls and a railing about waist height. She entered and found there was another room in the back with little cubby spaces and place for showers and toilets. To the south side, was another door that led to a room with a huge sunken basin. This room was decorated in tiles similar to the conservatory that Harry and Hermione were in a couple of days ago. Luna made a note of where she found this interesting room, determined to share it with the others. 'Maybe Hermione would know what this room is used for.'
Luna eventually made her way back up to the main floor and caught up with Ginny and her other friends. She spotted Hermione coming down the Grand Staircase and remembered that she wanted to ask about the mystery room she found.
"Hermione! Hi, I was wondering if you were busy? I found a couple of rooms that I don't recognize and was wondering and hoping you'd might help identifying?"
"Sure, I'm not busy. Let's go and see these rooms of yours. Ginny? Did you want to join in?" Ginny nodded.
So they traveled back down to where Luna had found the room and opened the door. Hermione glanced around and declared the room to be an exercise room. She was shown the room with the sunken basin and gave a gasp of surprise.
"Hogwarts has a pool! Oh, this is awesome! It looks like it's big enough to hold at least a hundred people. That other room could be used as a place to practice ballet, lift weights, aerobics… oh, Luna this is wonderful!" She gushed happily.
Ginny had been exploring the poolroom, "But what good is an indoor pool? The water would still be freezing cold in winter."
Hermione shook her head, "No, we could heat the water either with a charm or through the use of a furnace. Oh, this is great! Luna, have you told the Headmistress about this place yet?" Luna shook her head no, "then we need to go see her. This is something that shouldn't wait."
Hermione ushered both of the other two out of the room as fast as she could towards the direction of the Headmistress' office.
The three girls made their way to the Headmistress' office, stopping long enough to give the password to the gargoyle guardian. Once bid to enter, Hermione motioned for Luna to take the point in the explanation for her discovery.
"Headmistress, I was out wandering earlier when I came across a couple of rooms in a section of the dungeons. One of the rooms had mirrors on all the walls, a strange wooden floor and a wooden railing about waist height. Another room had, what Hermione determined to be a sunken indoor pool. A third room held places for students to store their belongings and to take a bath. Hermione has suggested that I come to you and also to show you where these rooms are."
McGonagall looked over at Hermione and Ginny, the latter was nervously chewing on her hair, "Is this true Miss Granger, Miss Weasley?"
"Yes Headmistress," Hermione replied, "I think that you should investigate the possibilities of having the elves restore and refurbish all the rooms so we can use them again. It would be nice to have a heated pool to exercise and relax in during the winter as well as a place to practice dancing or aerobics in."
Well, that intrigued Minerva. "I think I should see these rooms that you're obviously so enthralled with. Lead the way Miss Lovegood."
Minerva was incredibly impressed with the exercise rooms and the indoor pool. She had a couple elves assigned to repair and maintain them as well as fill up the pool. She instructed the elves to keep the water at a comfortable eighty degrees F. She did tell them not to rush on filling the pool just yet since the students were going to be going home for the holidays and wouldn't be returning until the second of January.
Minerva had an elf bring a spare record player and a random song to be played in the exercise room to test out what kind of acoustics the room had. The elf popped out then brought the player and the record of Fred and George Weasley's Song. The acoustics weren't too bad but it was clear that they needed to be adjusted and the tiling replaced.
On their way back to the Grand Staircase, Luna got a curious look on her face as a spurious thought hit her. For some reason, she had the sudden urge to let her inner prankster out to play. She turned to Hermione and with a small evil grin asked, "Hermione? Are you allowed to change the Ravenclaw door guardian's riddle?"
"Um… no. That would have to be a prefect. Why?" she responded warily.
"I just thought of a riddle that would have most if not all of Ravenclaw sleeping out in the hallway because they couldn't get in," Luna smirked with a now full-blown evil grin. Ginny laughed nervously.
"Oh? Do tell."
"Change it to this: 'What color is an orange?' Every time they say 'orange' the guardian would deny them because it's asking for the color, not the name of the citrus."
Hermione was flabbergasted; her mouth hanging open before peals of laughter erupted, "Oh, you're right! That is evil and they will be sleeping out in the hallway because of it! Damn, now we have to go find a prefect with a sense of humor!"
They raced up the steps and into the Ravenclaw Common Room where they found Penelope Clearwater writing a letter.
"Penelope?" Hermione began, "Luna here has thought of what has to be not only the world's most difficult riddle for the guardian but also the most evil. If we were to tell you it, would you be willing to have it changed?"
Penelope looked at the three of them with a guarded and wary expression before letting out a slow sigh, "Sure, let's hear the riddle."
"What color is an orange?"
Penelope froze as she thought about it. The obvious answer on the tip of her tongue, "I'm going to guess that 'orange' is not the correct answer?"
Luna shook her head, "That would cause the guardian to respond 'I want the color not the name of the citrus.'"
Penelope grunted, "You're right, Miss Granger. That is a truly evil and complex riddle. Alright, I'll make the changes. But just out of curiosity, what is the proper answer?"
"There is no proper answer but you could use the response of 'They're one and the same.'"
Penelope accepted that.
21 December 1992
Dear Diary;
My password prank was a success! The Ravenclaws spent nearly five hours in the hallway before Professor Flitwick was called in to override the riddle. When the Twins found out about they dropped to their knees and bowed before me claiming that 'They're not worthy!' over and over again. I'm beginning to understand why they enjoy pranking others.
The final day of the school term was a flurry of last minute holiday homework assignments and make up exams. Luna had been talked into giving a lecture on how to go into the muggle world appropriately to search for music stores to get new records and equipment. She gave the impromptu lecture and also reminded all of the magically raised that they had a school full of muggleborn and raised who would most likely be happy to help as long as they were approached and spoken to nicely.
Finally, those who were going home for the holidays were on the train speeding south. Luna was sitting in a compartment leaning up against Neville who had one arm around her shoulders and the other was gently stroking her hair. As a result from the attention, she was slowly dozing off.
Just as her eyes were going to close for the rest of the trip, the door to the compartment was wrenched open. Standing there in the doorway was Draco and the Dense Duo, Crabbe and Goyle.
"You best be careful Lovegood. My father and his friends aren't happy with the rebellion you've been inspiring at school. I wouldn't be surprised if you were to find yourself with new accommodations for the coming year." He sneered before giving, for him at least, an evil grin and oily laugh then leaving with the two bookends in tow.
Harry had a quizzical look on his face, "You know what's really strange about that? Draco himself has been spotted listening to Led Zeppelin and Queens of the Stone Age. It's strange that he would have this attitude about reporting Luna to his dad about a so-called 'rebellion' when he's just as guilty as anyone else for listening and being 'corrupted by muggle propaganda and lies.'
"Luna, don't worry. Between Fawkes, myself, Harry and Hermione you won't have any problems as to where to stay should that threat be real. I really doubt it as well. You know how that blonde ponce is," Neville replied soothingly.
Luna just slowly nodded her head sadly, "I know but it's still scary. What if they try to obliviate me? Or put me into a coma?"
"Then they would be the ones responsible for creating the biggest mutiny and rebellion the likes of which this country has seen in centuries."
"Mmm-hmmm…"
"Tell you what. Why not go into one of your Trances and See what is real and what isn't? At least then you'll know." Neville said soothingly.
She looked up at him with her silvery eyes and gave him a small smile. Neville just kissed her on her forehead and repositioned her so she would be more comfortable while in a Trance.
By the time the train pulled into King's Cross, Luna had Seen what she needed to know that Draco was just trying to scare her and there was no actual threat of her being removed.
As they were finding their families, Luna spotted Susan Bones and hurried over to her.
"Susan Bones? Hi, I just wanted to give you a suggestion for a gift to your aunt."
Susan's eyes lit up, "Something musical I hope?"
Luna nodded and smiled, "The artist's name is Adele and the Song is 'Rumor Has It.'"
Susan squealed and hugged Luna, "Thank you so much for what you've given the school and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas. I hope to see you when we get back."
"Hey! Luna Lovegood!" She turned at the sound of her name, spotting the Weasley Twins waving her over to them.
"Listen, we wanted…" Fred (George?)
"…to thank you for our Song." George (Fred?)
"Truly inspired piece it was…"
"…but would you have…"
"…something in mind"
"…for our parents?" they finished.
Luna thought for a moment before letting her eyes glaze over. When she came back, she grinned at the two of them.
"These two songs could possibly have been written with your parents in mind, especially your mother. The one for your father is written by Chuck Berry and is titled, 'No Particular Place To Go.' The one for your mother is written by The Coasters and is titled, 'Yakety-yak.' I recommend you stop by the music store called 'Sounds of the Universe,' it's located at 7 Broadwick Street, between the Oxford Circus and Tottenham Court Road stops on the Underground. If you get lost, ask someone at either stations to give directions."
"They don't take magical currency do they?"
Luna shook her head no. Just then Harry materialized out of the crowd with Sirius in tow.
"Hi everyone. Luna, I overheard you telling these two about the record store and how to get to it. If you guys don't mind some help, I can go with you and I can pick up some stuff as well." The Twins agreed and went to go find their parents to let them know about the arrangements.
"Hello, Mr. Black," Luna said, "How are you doing?"
"Please, call me Sirius. Mr. Black makes me look for my father." Luna chuckled in response.
"Harry, are you going to the record store to get your godfather his Song?" Harry nodded and swore her to secrecy.
"Shhhh! Don't say anything. Yes, I'm going to go get his Song as well as Remus'."
"Ok Harry. Though you might want to ask the storekeeper for a parody song to get as well."
"Thanks Luna, I'll do that."
In Delores Umbridge's office…
"I'm telling you Delores, the girl is just too popular and well protected with that blasted phoenix as a familiar to make a move against," warned Lucius Malfoy, "I know you have your heart set on shutting her up but the sad fact is, unless you have a sneakier way of dealing with the brat you just need to leave her alone."
"Lord Malfoy, I'm surprised at you. You of all people know that this muggle influence is dangerous to our future as a proud and traditional nation. I cannot in good conscious just 'let it go.' I do have one more option and I would recommend that you keep your son off the train for the return to the new school year. You might want to inform your other colleagues as well."
"What are you planning to use, Delores?"
"I think it would be best to introduce a little…fear to the little brats as they ride back to the castle. Should any of them lose their soul to the fear, well…"
26 December 1992
Dear Diary;
Oh Merlin! The muggles have us beat when it comes to anything fun and exciting! I thought that the music was the only thing but…WOW! They don't need magic to fix their troubles, they get along fine without it and have many solutions that we magicals would just wave our wand at and never think about…
Luna was having a grand time on her holidays. Prior to leaving the school she had been invited to spend at least a couple of days after Christmas with Hermione Granger in the muggle world. Everywhere she turned there were revelations and surprises of just about everything! The television, the appliances in the kitchen, the Granger's car, and the list went on! Luna even got to take a trip with Hermione who had also invited Harry and Neville to join her to the cinema to see the latest movies. Even the food was incredible! She got to experience things like pizza, hamburgers and fizzy drinks.
When she looked back on her vacation and thought about everything she had seen or experienced, it made her realize that most magically born and raised kids were sheltered from the wider world. Seeing and experiencing muggle London with her own eyes made her wonder if perhaps she should've brought a Calming Draught! They started their first day simply; breakfast at the Granger's consisted of the usual English dishes after which she got her first taste of muggle appliances. The electric dishwasher was kind of noisy and startled her when it got started. The blender, electric stovetop and the refrigerator intrigued her. Maybe I ought to be writing this all down? It would make an interesting story for The Quibbler. She asked Mrs. Granger to wait a moment so she could grab a pad and quill so she could take notes about everything. Mrs. Granger smiled and motioned to the countertop where a pad of paper and a pen were sitting.
The pen was another revelation! Merlin! I'm going to be writing forever if this keeps up!
"Mrs. Granger? Do all of these pens come loaded with ink?"
"Yes, plus you can get them in different colors. There's black, blue, green, red and purple available. I've also seen some that have glitter in them. I think we have a couple of red ones around here somewhere."
'Purple? Glitter? I'm in heaven!' She took a moment to center herself, "Ok, you were explaining how the dishwasher works?"
Neville arrived about ten minutes later with Harry. Harry explained that Neville flooed over to his godfather's place and then they caught the Knight Bus.
"If you want a wild ride with no restraints, then that's the mode of transportation I recommend. Otherwise, don't," he stated as he wiped his glasses off. Neville just laughed as he made his way over to Luna and gave her a hug.
The group was loaded into the car and they began their whirlwind tour of Greater London. They saw Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and Thames River and stopped at Greenwich Market for dinner. The variety of food stalls was yet another fascination!
"Hey, Hermione. Can you imagine the look on Ron Weasley's face if he were ever brought here amongst all these food stalls?" asked Harry as he leaned over to grab a napkin from a dispenser.
Hermione gave a visible shudder, "Please Harry, I'm trying to eat here. That's a horrible image you're bringing up."
All four laughed in response.
The next day was spent at a store called Harrods. This is where both magically raised kids had their minds really blown! It was only one store but there were seven floors containing incredible treasures from as small as a child's hairclip all the way up to the furniture and decorations to fill entire rooms at home! This one store was bigger than all of Diagon Alley and the shops of Hogsmeade combined. Hermione said that when night fell, it got even better because of all the lights on the outside. Luna and Neville were astounded by how bright it was inside. The shops in Diagon Alley were nowhere near as bright as this! It was a tour of the third floor that Neville called out to Harry.
"Harry? I think I need to sit down for a while, I'm going through sensory overload."
"Ok, no problem Neville. There's a bench over there. Luna? How are you holding up?" Harry asked.
"I'm fine… well, my eyes feel like they're going to fall out of their sockets but I think I can continue."
"Luna, take a break. We'll be here all day so there's no rush." Harry replied as he guided her to a bench, Neville just flopped down and leaned up against a wall sighing in relief.
Even though she was sitting on a comfortable bench there were still sights, sounds and smells abundant to distract her. She turned to Hermione and asked her if it was like this all the time.
"Well no, not all the time. They redecorate about a week or so before the different holidays or seasons like Valentine's Day, Halloween, Back to School, springtime, summertime and things like that. The reason why I brought you today were to take advantage of the post-Christmas sales."
While the girls were chatting about the things that they'd seen, the boys were having a similar conversation.
"I'm having a difficult time wrapping my mind around the quality and selection in this place. How am I supposed to go back to Diagon Alley and not be depressed?" Neville pondered out loud.
Harry just chuckled at his friend's predicament, "I know right? That was pretty much how I felt when I first stepped foot in the magical side. Everything looks so quaint in comparison to the muggle side. The worst part is that magical Britain is pretty much the only developed nation in the world that still uses candles for illumination or owls for communication. I have a couple of potioneer acquaintances in the United States that have sent pictures of what their magical shopping zones are like and frankly, you'd never be able to tell them apart from this store."
Neville shook his head in exasperation and disbelief and motioned with his hands at everything in front of him, "How are we supposed to compete with knowledge like that?"
"What I'd love to do is bring in the movers and shakers of magical Britain here to Harrods and to other well-known spots around London to show them just what they're missing by staying in the past," mused Harry.
"It'll never happen. Sure, you can bring them here but they're so stuck in their ways that it would take the second coming of Merlin himself to get them to accept that change is inevitable," interjected Hermione, "Ok, Luna and I will be heading off again to go see some more of the girls' clothing. Shall we meet up in the store's cafeteria at about noon?"
Harry and Neville agreed and so the two groups split up again. The girls to the clothing section; the boys went to experience the electronics department.
Neville spotted some electric lamps in one aisle and picked one up to examine. He spotted Harry coming around the corner and called out to him.
"Hey Harry, you're pretty knowledgeable with Runes and the like right?" Harry nodded, "You think you could come up with something that would allow me to use this back at school?"
"Probably. I can just use the array that powers the Assistant and tie in a 'Null-space array' to prevent the ambient magic from shorting out the light bulb. Why? You thinking of using this to study with?"
"Yeah, my eyes start hurting after a while trying to read by candlelight or by the fireplace. Can you imagine the look on everyone's face when I use this?"
Harry just grinned in response.
On the ride home, both Neville and Luna were chattering away to Mrs. Granger about the things they experienced and bought. Neville was showing off the lamp he had gotten and when Hermione questioned him on whether or not it would be a violation of the Secrecy Statute, Harry interjected that it only applied if he were to take the lamp and cut off the cord, use it then send it back into the muggle world.
"It's the same with anything that should be using electrical power but can't be plugged in and also doesn't have a space for batteries nor does it have a solar panel. Imagine doing what we're planning on a refrigerator. If a muggle were to investigate and see that it's operating without a power cord, then yes, you've violated the Statute. By leaving the cord attached and just etching the arrays to the underside of the base, who would know?"
"Oh! That would make sense. Now I'm wondering why more muggle devices aren't modified like that?" Hermione exclaimed.
"Remember what I said last year about magic and logic? Also, remember that demonstration we held last year?" Harry grinned.
"Yeah, I forgot."
Harry then reached into his shopping bag and pulled out what at first glance, looked like two fairly thick magazines with glossy pages.
"Here Neville, Luna. I picked these up as well for the both of you. It's the Spring/Summer catalog for Harrods."
Both kids accepted the catalogs with starry eyes like they were handed the keys to Atlantis.
"You should really be interested to know Neville, that Harrods has a gardening section. It starts on page 394." Neville quickly turned to the page and his eyes practically bugged out of his head. He wasn't heard from for the rest of the car ride.
Luna on the other hand was entranced by the sheer amount of content shown on the pages.
"How would I go about ordering these thing? I'm guessing that they don't have Owl Order?"
Hermione leaned over to see what Luna was talking about, "No, but the Royal Mail Service has muggleborns who keep an eye out for packages going to the magical side and reroute them to the Owl Post Office."
When she finally got back home in Ottery St. Catchpole, Luna spent the rest of her holiday writing up the first of what would turn out to be a seven-part mini-series of what life was like living like an average muggle in Greater London. She described everything in great detail and also gave observations and suggestions for those who wished to visit the city themselves.