Tato Potato, thank you for your review - I'm pleased you enjoyed the chapter. Cal definitely isn't okay at the moment, but you know how determined and dedicated the ED staff are. They won't give up on him easily.
beckyboogle, thank you for your review. I couldn't let Cal's last thought be anything other than Ethan! I haven't really written Dixie properly before, but she makes the story even more interesting to write.
totti10, thank you so much! That really is very kind of you. There was so much in the episode, I suppose there just wasn't room for Dixie's feelings, but I was pleased when GlitterGirl12 asked me to include it in this story as her experiences are very relevant. It can be very difficult using actual dialogue in a story - I think it helped that I started off by typing up the dialogue and then added to it, rather than the other way round. Thank you for your review.
20BlueRoses, I'm glad you liked the part about Dixie - I was disappointed there was nothing about that in the episode, though there really wasn't time for it. I also wanted to include the Huntington's without making it a major theme, so I'm really happy it worked! Thank you for your review.
xXSophXx, thank you for you review. I know what you mean - there are a lot of fanfics I'd like to read, but I mostly stick to my very favourite characters as there aren't enough hours in the day for all of them. Thank you for making an exception for my story - I'm so happy you're enjoying it.
CBloom2, I think it would be very difficult for me to let Cal die - but I do like to challenge myself sometimes! Thank you for your review - I'm glad you're enjoying it.
LittleBritishPerson, thank you for your review - I'm flattered that you think the last chapter was worth taking a break for! I really hope the rest of the story lives up to your expectations.
tracys dream, thank you for your review - it's amazing to think you're finding something I've written exciting! I hope you enjoy this chapter too.
TheAtomicCheese, thank you for your review - I'm really happy you're enjoying the story. I'm guessing you're busy at the moment as you're reviewing as a guest and haven't updated your stories for a while (please update soon) - thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoy Chapter 4.
Thank you, SorchaGleek97, CasualtyFanForever81, totti10, Casualty cal and Ethan, larub12, xXSophXx, and blumccoy for the follows and favourites. I hope you're all enjoying it.
"Ethan, will your brother be gracing us with his presence today?" asked Connie.
Ethan honestly didn't know. He didn't know anything that was going on with Cal now. He could understand why Cal was upset: losing Matilda had devastated Ethan, so he could only imagine how Cal must be feeling. Cal might claim he was moving on from Matilda, but whenever Ethan saw Cal, he was either crying or red-eyed or looking as though he could burst into tears at any moment. Ethan had tried talking to him, but Cal wouldn't talk.
Ethan couldn't bear it. He felt so helpless. His brother's world was falling apart and there was nothing he could do.
It was possible there was a bit more to this than losing Matilda. Taylor's reappearance might also have played a part: Ethan knew how much Cal had loved her. Cal's exam result had also been a terrible disappointment - especially now he'd found out he hadn't got more marks than Ethan. He'd seemed to forget about that when Matilda had come into their lives – both the exam result and the revision he needed to do for the resit – but now Matilda was gone and Cal was in pieces, and it was difficult to know what had played a part and what hadn't when Cal refused to talk about it.
The fact that Cal hadn't made it to work worried Ethan more than he wanted to let on. Cal was nothing if not predictable. When he wanted to forget about something, he got drunk and had sex - and in a way, Ethan had been almost glad it had happened last night as it could have been an indication that Cal was returning to his old self. But the day after his alcohol-fuelled exploits, Cal was almost always back at work. If his hangover was very severe, he stayed in bed, but if he was able to leave the flat, then he went to work because no matter how much Cal might moan, he loved his job.
So why wasn't he here? Where was he?
The feeling of helplessness overwhelmed Ethan to such an extent that he nearly blurted everything out to Connie, but he quickly realised he mustn't. Connie wouldn't understand and in any case, she didn't want to know all Ethan's fears and insecurities. She didn't have time for that. All she cared about was whether Cal was coming to work.
"I honestly don't know," Ethan told the clinical lead.
Connie glared at him and Ethan knew she held him personally responsible, even though Cal was an adult and Ethan was the younger brother anyway. But all she said was: "If and when he makes an appearance, tell him I'd like to see him."
Ethan agreed, feeling annoyed with Cal for putting him in this position, but as Connie walked away, Ethan's irritation faded.
All he wanted was for Cal to be okay.
Dixie watched as Iain prepared to roll Cal onto the backboard. Dixie should be helping, of course. If Cal had suffered a cervical spine injury, they needed to support his back as they rolled him, but Iain seemed to realise he was on his own.
He supported Cal's spine as he rolled him onto his back and fitted a collar. He was about to lift him onto the trolley, but at the last minute, he turned to Dixie.
"Dix, I know you're scared, but I need your help. I can't do this without you. I can't lift Cal safely on my own and I can't defibrillate, intubate or any of that stuff when I'm driving. I know it's hard for you, but if Cal's going to get through this, he's going to need us to do both."
Dixie knew he was right. He was exactly right.
Iain put his hands on her shoulders. "Dixie, I do understand. I know you don't want to go through the same thing again and I get that. Being in this situation again… it would upset anyone." His voice was clear and calm, but she could see the anxiety in his eyes. "But I need you and Cal needs you – and Ethan needs you. You lost Jeff and I can't imagine how that feels. But unless we get Cal into that ambulance, Ethan's going to feel just like you did." Iain's expression was pleading. "Please, Dix. Do this. For me. For Cal. For Ethan. For Jeff. I know you can do it."
For a moment, Dixie really thought she couldn't. She was trying to move. She'd been trying all along.
But then the stiffness seemed to melt from her body and mind. She turned to Iain. "Right. Let's do this."
The look of relief on Iain's face was something she would never forget. He sounded almost emotional as he said simply: "Good girl, Dixie. Good girl."
"On my count," said Dixie, and they moved Cal onto the backboard and lifted him onto the trolley. "Right: let's go!" They hurried to the ambulance and loaded Cal into the back. "You drive, Iain."
Iain nodded and went to the front of the vehicle while Dixie made sure the trolley was secure. She switched on the AED and cut away Cal's top so she could place the pads on his skin. She heard the machine charging and waited, her eyes on Cal's chest, hoping that he might miraculously have started breathing. She gave the shock and watched Cal's body jump into the air and then lie still.
Dixie placed her finger against his neck.
No pulse.
Ethan was standing ready to help with the RTC when he saw Connie coming towards him. He guessed she wanted to ask him about Cal and felt a wave of annoyance that he still hadn't shown up.
Then he saw the look on Connie's face.
"Ethan," she said gently. "Come with me."
"But… I thought you wanted me to help," he said, confused. She looked so kind and sympathetic.
Connie took his arm and led him away from the others. "Ethan, I'm so sorry."
And then Ethan knew. "It's Cal, isn't it? Cal was involved in the RTC!"
It was his fault. He knew Cal had been drinking heavily. He should have known Cal wasn't fit to drive and he should have stopped him. But he'd stayed away from Cal because he was a stupid, shy idiot who was scared of running into a naked woman.
"Is he… is he…." Ethan's legs were shaking hard.
Connie helped him to sit on the floor. He knew it was serious when she sat beside him. "Ethan, he's not dead. He saved two people's lives, but then he went to help someone else and the car exploded. Cal wasn't in the car when it exploded, but the force of the explosion threw him backwards. I'm afraid I don't have any more information. I'm so sorry, Ethan. You know our paramedics will be doing everything they can - and so will we when he gets here."
Ethan said nothing. He sat where he was, his breathing quickening, grateful when Connie slipped an arm around his shoulders. "I want to treat him."
"Of course you do," said Connie gently. "But you know you can't."
Ethan knew she was right. He put his hands to his spinning head. "How long till he arrives?"
"They're only about five minutes away," said Connie. "So I really can't stay. Ethan, can you be really brave for me and go and wait in the staff room?"
"Okay," said Ethan in a little voice.
"Thank you," said Connie. She stood up, then helped Ethan to his feet. He looked at her in wordless fear. Gently, she took his hand and he walked beside her, feeling lost. "Lofty, can you come here, please?"
Lofty came over at once. He glanced at Ethan, his face concerned.
"Lofty, we've just found out Cal was injured in the RTC. Could you take Ethan to the staff room and sit with him, please? I think we can spare one nurse and I know you're close to Cal too."
Lofty nodded. He looked shocked and upset, but his voice was gentle. "Of course, Mrs Beauchamp. I'm so sorry, Ethan." He put his arm around Ethan's shoulders. "Come on, mate. Come with me."
Erhan felt Connie squeezing his hand before she let go. "We'll do our best, Ethan. I promise."
Ethan knew she feared their best wouldn't be good enough.