Twilight belongs to S. Meyer. I just mess with her characters.
James moaned at Edward's request. He wanted to give Edward what he wanted because he couldn't deny that he wanted it as well, but he knew something was wrong. Subtly James slowed their pace, making it more intimate than frantic. Edward didn't know why James was slowing down, but he didn't really care. James hadn't said no to fucking him so he assumed that was what was going to happen 'Maybe this is his way of making it special for me' soon though all the movements and kisses stopped.
"Edward, baby, it would feel so good to fuck you right now, but I can't." James looked directly into Edward's eyes so that he could he was serious.
Reaching for James' package Edward asked "why not? You seem perfectly ready for me right now." grabbing James for accentuation.
"I can't because I have a feeling something is wrong."
"I don't feel that. Everything seems fine to me. "
"Edward this isn't you. I know something is wrong, I can't just feel it. It's radiating off of you, you're acting weird. It would be wrong and disrespectful for me to do anything like that with you right now." As James was saying this he tried to pull Edward close to him, but Edward shrugged out of his grasp.
"Bullshit." Edward then began to pull on his clothes.
"It's not bullshit Edward. Do you want to talk? Tell me what's wrong."
"I'm going home. I'll call you later." Edward's tone and went from lustful to angry to defeated in less than 5 minutes. There was now no doubt in James' mind that Edward was not alright.
"Hey. Stop it. What's wrong with you? Fucking talk to me!" James said a little more forceful than he meant and immediately regretted it.
The tone sent a small shock into Edward and he just looked up at James expecting for him to be mad, but instead finding worry and concern written across his face. Not being able to handle that sight Edward couldn't fight back the tears that were beginning to cloud his vision. He didn't know what to do or say so he leaned his back to the wall behind him and slid down bringing his knees as close to his body as he could and started crying.
James wanted to comfort Edward, but he didn't know what was wrong and therefore had no idea how to even being to help. He had felt helpless before in his life, but right now he felt so helpless that none of those situations even came close in comparison. Kneeling down next to Edward he tried to put his arm around him in a hugging manor.
He failed.
Edward swatted away his arm, clearly showing that he didn't want to be touched. A few long minutes passed and Edward still hadn't stopped crying. Again James tried to comfort him with touch, this time by placing his hand on Edward's knee.
He failed a second time.
Edward moved his knees in the opposite direction of James. Taking the hint James didn't try to touch Edward anymore, but he refused to leave Edward's side while he cried. Every once in awhile Edward would say something, but in between the gasps for breath, sniffling, and his head being buried in the crooks of his arms, James couldn't understand one thing Edward was saying.
Eventually Edward calmed down and as soon as he did he tried to leave again.
"James I just wanna go to sleep. Let me go home." He begged.
"Not like this. Just sleep here. Please?" James was too worried about Edward to let him be alone. Although he knew there wasn't anything he could do to help Edward he didn't think Edward should be by himself.
Edward didn't move or say anything right away and when he did it gave James his answer. Stripping down to his boxers he laid down in James' bed and curled into a fetal position. After seeing that Edward had made himself comfortable James followed suit by stripping down to his boxers as well.
"Can I share the bed with you or do you want me to sleep on the floor." James asked. Right now he would do everything in his power to make sure Edward was comfortable where he was.
In a quiet voice Edward replied, "Please hug me."
James slid into bed behind Edward and wrapped his arm protectively around Edward's torso. Edward scooted back into James and tried to relax.
He couldn't.
James noticed Edward's shaking body immediately. Edward was crying again, he tried his best to be silent, but he couldn't control the trembles that took over his body each time a silent sob ran through him. It broke James' heart to see Edward like that, but he had still had no idea what to do. At least Edward was letting James touch him this time, but to James it still seemed like he wasn't doing enough.
Speaking as softly as he could James began talking to Edward. "Hey, I know you don't feel like talking, but if you do I'm here to listen.
As soon as the offer was put on the table Edward decided he didn't want to keep his problems to himself.
"I told my dad about us… which means I also told him I'm gay." Edward fought the break in his voice.
"What did he say?" From the way Edward had been acting all day James knew that Edward's dad's reaction wasn't a good one.
"He didn't say a lot and what he did was mean. He kicked me out of his house."
"He kicked you out?" James asked incredulously. "Did you have anywhere to go? You should have called me. I would have driven to Forks and picked you up."
"I stayed with my mom. I always stay with her. I was just visiting him at his house. So don't worry."
"I'm so sorry, babe." James tightened his arms around Edward as if it would help take some of the pain away
"It's not your fault." Edward sniffled. "I knew he wouldn't be happy about it, but I didn't think we would be that mad. He didn't join us for Thanksgiving dinner or even talk to my mom about me. I think he disowned him because he still hasn't talked to me." Edward started crying again. He just wanted his dad to support him. He didn't need to agree with his lifestyle, but just accept.
Not knowing what to say to that, he chose to remain silent. He hugged Edward for a little while longer and then got out of bed. Edward missed James touch the second he left, but he didn't say anything. He just watched as James pulled a cup from the cupboard, filled it with cold water, go into the bathroom and come out with tissue. He gave the items to Edward, but still didn't get back into bed. James just sat on the side of the bed and asked Edward to lay on his stomach. He knew that Edward needed to relax so he started to give him a back massage. Beneath his touch the tension in Edward muscles began to disappear. For Edward this was the most intimate moment he had shared with James and he didn't know how to feel about it.
"Edward I know in the big picture what I'm about to say doesn't mean much, but I just want you to know that I care about you. A lot. You mean so much to me and I love having you around."
"You do?" Edward could sense that the feelings he had for James were mutual, but he still wanted the confirmation.
"So much, I missed you so much this past week it was ridiculous. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I wanted to call you every time something exciting happened. I missed you smile, your scent, how you talk, the way you think… God, I just missed everything about you."
Despite how shitty Edward was feeling at the current moment a smile graced his face.
"I care about you too."
"Shh… I know you do, handsome, but you need to sleep now. I just wanted to let you know."
Edward rolled onto his back, sat up, kissed James' cheek and then pulled him down onto the bed next to him. James curved his body around Edward's and placed gentle kisses against his neck. James couldn't fall asleep until he knew Edward was a sleep so he just remained quiet, listening for the Edward's breathing to even out. As soon as he heard it, he used it to lull him to sleep.
When Edward first woke up he didn't open his eyes. He was relishing in the feeling of James' body next to his. While he wasn't exactly happy, he couldn't say he was said either. Right now, he felt comfortable; the feeling of James' heat was exactly what Edward thought he needed until the events of previous night began to present themselves to him. Each thought made him clench his eyes even tighter than the last. He had made a fool of himself in front of James; asking him to fuck him and then sobbing like a baby on the floor when he said no. He felt stupid and wanted to slide out of bed so that he could go home before he had to face James, but every time that he tried to scoot away James would try to pull him back or scoot closer to him.
James' sleep had been short and restless. He was too worried about Edward to actually fall into a comfortable sleep, so he was awake before Edward began to even stir. He felt Edward moving around, trying to get out from under his arm and off of the bed. James didn't want to let him go so he kept a careful grip on Edward trying to keep him from leaving the bed. At the tell-tale tingle of his bladder James realized that Edward might be trying to get up so that he could relieve himself. Not wanting to cause Edward discomfort he rolled away from him and continued to pretend to be deep in slumber. He listened to Edward plod around the room and silently prayed that Edward would be alright.
Relief washed over Edward when James rolled over. Trying to be stealthy he got out of bed. He quietly went around the room gathering his things and then headed to the bathroom to get dressed. As soon as he was clothed he walked out of the bathroom. He checked to make sure James was still asleep and when he was that he was he walked out the door. Edward wasn't sure if it was the best thing to do, but he did know that he was tired of feeling stupid and he figured being alone was the best way to do that. Walking back to his room Edward didn't allow himself to think about the previous night or Thanksgiving break. He just wanted to not feel hurt or stupid. As soon as he got back to his room he laid on his bed and fell back asleep. Edward couldn't think of the last time he had been so tired.
The sound of his room door shutting caused James to sit up. He looked around the room and didn't see any of Edward's things strewn about. Calling Edward's name gave him no answer and he knew that Edward had left. Fighting the urge to go after Edward James just stayed in bed. Obviously Edward had wanted to be alone and James wasn't going to be too pushy about it.
Later in the day James called Edward to check up on him, but Edward didn't answer. Almost immediately after he had hung up James' phone buzzed with a new message from Edward. It was short and simple, 'don't feel like talking. C u in class 2mrw'. James was hurt that Edward didn't even want to talk to him on the phone, but he let it go. He was positive that Edward was hurting worse from what his dad did to him and is just trying to handle it without dragging other people into it. Either way it still hurt James.
Monday's philosophy class came and Edward was still acting different. He didn't write any cute, flirty, notes to James and he ignored all the ones that James had written to him. James watched Edward surreptitiously throughout the class and all he could notice is that Edward never looked at James or anywhere besides the chalk board. He got up to go to the bathroom and on his way back James got a direct look at Edward's face and all his eyes showed were emptiness. James' heart fell at the sight. When class ended James asked Edward to come over for dinner, he figured Edward could use some home cooked food, but Edward said no and walked away without saying anything else. On both Tuesday and Wednesday James tried to get Edward to do something with him, but Edward's answer never changed, neither did his demeanor.
On Wednesday night Edward had been sitting alone in his room moping when Alice called. She was the first person he had picked up the phone for all week and really the only person he was willing to talk to.
"Edward, how are you?" She asked in a soft sorrowful voice, as if she knew he was anything but okay.
"I'm fine." He lied. "You?"
"Doing alright, I was calling to see how your break was."
"Honestly it was horrible, but I don't really wanna talk about it." Edward said with a sigh.
"I'm sorry and okay change the subject, your pick." She still didn't sound happy although she was trying to.
"How are you? How's Emmett?"
"I'm doing alright. Emmett is okay… I think. We are having a bit of a fight right now."
"What about? Are you sure you're alright?" Edward asked with genuine concern.
"He thinks were moving too fast and that we need to slow down. Not break up or anything, just slow down." Alice said the last sentence a slightly bitter yet mocking tone.
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I know! That's what I told him. I said we can't slow down because we haven't been moving. We act the same way as we did in high school. I think it's his new group of friends. They're idiots. I can't stand them."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. We'll get over it. I'm just irritated. So how's James?"
"Umm…" He paused for a second to sigh "I don't know. I haven't really talked to him since Sunday."
"Oh no. Why not? Are you still together?" Alice nodded to herself. She was right to suspect that something was wrong with Edward.
"We're still together, but I made an ass out of myself in front of him and I just don't want to see him. I know he's gonna leave me."
"How do you know he's going to leave you?"
"I acted like an emotional little girl, no offense, but if he wanted one of those he would be straight."
"Edward, he's probably worried about you. You should at least make sure you're not hurting his feelings by acting distant." Alice tried to advise him. Really all she wanted to do was ask why he was being emotional and what happened over break, but she knew Edward well enough that she could tell by his tone that asking him that would result in a dial tone.
"Yeah…" Edward said noncommittally. He didn't want to talk about James right now either so he changed the topic again. He and Alice talked light heartedly after that for about an hour and although he was paying attention to what she was saying, it was only half hearted. It was a struggle to keep half of his attention on Alice after she pointed out that he might be hurting James' feelings. Too caught up in his own pity party he didn't even think what effect his bruised ego might have on James. That night Edward went to sleep hoping that James wasn't mad at him.
The next morning Edward arrived to class early and took his normal seat. Tearing out a piece of paper from his notebook he folded it in half and wrote an oversized and somewhat sloppy 'I'm Sorry' on the front of it. On the inside he wrote a little note that said 'I've been rude to you all this week. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me? Can we hang out tonight?'
The other students started to filter in and Edward tried to keep his nerves under control. He was so worried that he had pissed off James. Finally, James walked in Edward couldn't bring himself to look James in the eyes. Taking his seat next to Edward James saw the note; he opened it, read it and then smiled. He looked over at Edward and was going to reply, but didn't. Instead he opened the note and started writing. Although he finished before the professor even entered the class room James waited until half the class had passed it to Edward. Of course, the anticipation of James' replied interfered with Edward's already lacking attention span making it impossible for Edward to take in anything covered in that class. When Edward was passed the note his anxiety calmed; 'I'm not mad at you and you did nothing wrong so I'm not gonna forgive anything. Let's relax in my room tonight.' A smiled found its' way to Edward's face. It was the first time Edward didn't have to force a smile since the day before Thanksgiving.
After both boys were done with their daily routines they met up at a little Vietnamese restaurant and enjoyed a fairly quiet dinner. They wanted to talk, but they both knew it wasn't a conversation that was meant to be shared with strangers. After dinner they walked back to James' room; they held hands the entire time. As soon as James shut his door Edward stretched his neck out and kissed James on the cheek softly.
"I'm sorry I've been weird this week."
"Don't be. You had the right to be. I am glad you're talking to me again though." James said as he wrapped his arms around Edward.
Edward nodded and pressed his head into James shoulder. They stood like that for a little while; it was more than comforting for the both of them, reassurance that the other did care. James kissed Edward's hair and whispered for him to go sit down on the bed and close his eyes. Edward did as he asked.
Sitting in the middle off the bed Edward listened and tried to imagine what James was doing by the sounds he was making. He heard a zip, he heard James sigh, and then he heard an accidental strum of guitar strings. He had the urge to open his eyes and as if James could read his mind he spoke.
"Don't open your eyes yet. Just listen. Please." James' tone wasn't demanding, but rather nervous.
Once again Edward did as he asked. Edward could hear the individual hum of each string as James checked to see if they were tuned. Then Edward heard the individual hums of the strings start to blend together. Immediately he recognized the song as Hands Down by Dashboard Confessionals. James' voice joined the guitar and though it was soft, almost shy, it was beautiful and fit James perfectly.
My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me? So I'd die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst.
To break or bury or wear as jewelry,
which ever you prefer.
James' voice softened and then went silent as the song came to end. Edward didn't open his eyes. He realized that he cared for James a lot and finally believed that James' feelings were mutual. After putting away his guitar he joined Edward on the bed. They readjusted so that they could lay down and then they started kissing and neither wanted to take it further, it was about reassurance and comfort, they weren't going to make it about anything else. Right now this is what both of them needed.
"This is perfect I don't want to do anything else but this." Edward spoke against James' lips.
"Then don't"
"Thank you for understanding." Edward moved to rest his head on James' chest. "Thank you for singing to me too. It was beautiful."
"You're welcome."
"I don't wanna go back to Forks."
"What?"
"I don't wanna go back to Forks. I've decided that I hate it there and I don't wanna go back, even to visit." Edward confessed into James' chest as he drew designs onto James' stomach with his fingers.
"Then don't. Stay with me, my parents won't care. They know I'm gay and dating someone. Honestly they want to meet you." As soon as the words came out his mouth James wanted to take them back. He didn't mean to phrase it like that. He was about to apologize, but Edward spoke first.
"Really? They want to meet me?"
"Yeah, they do."
"Ok. Yes. I'd like to stay with you over break. I have to talk to my mom about it and you should double check with your parents, but that would be awesome. I would appreciate it, a lot."
"Sounds good. Let's do it tomorrow though. I'm sleepy and really I've missed hugging you to sleep this week. So really that's all I wanna do tonight, if that's ok with you?" James added the last sentence on sounding sheepish.
"That sounds great to me."
Sleep called to both of the boys and they both gave in without a fight. Edward woke up first feeling restless. He didn't want to wake up James so he quietly slipped out of bed, grabbed his phone and walked out into the hallway to call his mom. After a bit of a hushed argument Edward got his mother to agree to only having him come home for a week. She wanted him there the entire break, but once he gave his reasons for not wanting to be there she understood and made a compromise with him. They made plans for how he would get home and then got off the phone. When Edward walked back inside James was sitting on his bed looking a bit sad.
"What's wrong?"
"I thought you left again." James got out of bed and walked to Edward. "Don't leave without saying goodbye to me. Please?"
"I won't. Promise." Edward assured James.
Finals started in four days. Edward had holed himself inside his room to study. Being with James was too distracting. Whenever Edward needed a break he would call James and the boys would go eat, get coffee, or take naps together but they really didn't do much outside of that.
It was a Monday night and James had his first final the next. Although Edward was stressed about finals, James seemed to be more stressed. Edward wanted to take a lunch break, but James was at a study group that he planned to stay at until dinner. This gave Edward an idea. He had been wanting to do something sweet for James since he had been so understanding of his actions last week, so Edward decided he would cook James dinner. Pretending that he had left a book in James' room Edward stopped by James study session and picked up James' keys. Then Edward walked to a grocery store picked up a few ingredients and went to James' room.
A few hours after Edward had shown up at James' study session James received a text from Edward. 'I'm studying in ur room. Come here 4 dinner.' The text convinced James that he was done with studying for the night; dinner sounded good to James and so did seeing Edward. He sent Edward a reply and started packing his things. It didn't take more than 10 minutes for James to get to his room. As James entered the room he smelled chicken and alfredo sauce. He walked over to Edward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"What's the occasion?"
"No occasion. I just wanted to surprise you. It's almost done." Edward said as he stirred the sauce and noodles around.
"I didn't know you could cook."
"Yeah, I don't. It doesn't take a culinary wonder to open a can of alfredo sauce. I do know how to cook chicken though."
"Can't wait to taste it."
Edward smiled at James and the room fell into a comfortable silence. Edward served them both generous portions of pasta and they sat at the small dining table and ate. They didn't talk about anything pertaining to school or finals, but rather made plans for what they would do over Christmas break. James discovered that Edward had never been skiing, even though he was no stranger to snow. To remedy that they decided that they would go a skiing trip to Summit at Snoqualmie, a ski resort just outside of Seattle.
After dinner the boys settled down to watch a movie. They didn't make it past the opening credits. James needed Edward; he needed to feel him in his hand and in his mouth. He wanted to lick him, taste, and to bring him pleasure. There was so much James was feeling for Edward. Though he couldn't quite bring himself to say it, he knew that he could express it in other ways. James wanted to take his time working Edward up. He started by placing gentle kisses against Edward's lips then moved down to neck. Slipping a hand under Edward's shirt he caressed Edward's smooth chest; running his thumbs over Edward's nipples. Edward hummed at the sensation and tugged at James shirt as a hint to take it off.
James did.
The slow sensual movements were replaced with lustful urgency. They stripped clothes off each other. Hands roamed, tongues tasted and lips left searing kisses. James made his way down Edward's body. Edward's breath hitched in anticipation as he felt James exhale above him.
Flashes of Sunday came back to Edward and he tensed. It didn't escape James' notice that Edward didn't seem so relaxed.
"Edward you okay? Want me to stop?"
"No, please no." Edward said in a breathy voice. He wasn't about to let his foolish actions ruin the very pleasant experience taking place.
James stroked Edward slowly as if he were trying to memorize every aspect of Edward's cock with his hand. He blew a steady breath along Edward that made him shudder and then took the tip of him into his mouth. Letting out a quiet moan Edward placed a hand on James' shoulder. James pulled off and slipped his tongue in slit of Edward's cock then quickly pulled more of Edward into him mouth. This time the moan that pushed passed Edward's lips wasn't quiet at all. Edward didn't want to be the only one getting pleasure so he pushed against James shoulder.
"Flip around baby. I wanna taste you too."
Doing as Edward asked James he moved so that his was laying on his side in the opposite direction of Edward. Without wasting any time James pulled Edward back into his mouth. Not expecting James' sudden action Edward gasped, started stroking James and then started sucking James. Although a movie was playing in the background they both only seemed to hear the sounds of sucking and breathy exhales. Edward came first and shortly after James followed suit. The boys laid there recovering their breath and gently stroking and kissing each others' softening dicks.
Neither boy wanted to leave the bed. They curled up against each other naked, feeling each other without barriers. James turned off the television and they laid in silence. Not knowing how long had passed James listened to Edward's breathing to see if he was sleeping. Although, James didn't know if what he was feeling was solid yet, he wanted to try saying it. He gathered up enough courage and whispered.
"I love you."
It felt right. James smiled because it felt right. He knew he was in love with Edward. He didn't know if Edward was ready to hear it, so he wasn't going to say anything to him yet, but nonetheless he knew how he felt.
Edward snuggled further into James' body, craned his neck around, kissed James softly and whispered "I love you too."
Edward was just beginning to fall asleep when he heard James whisper "I love you" into his ear. One emotion dominated all the others, elation. Although he hadn't felt the way he was feeling before and he surely didn't know if what he was feeling was love, he said it back. James didn't say anything in return, only tightened his arm around Edward and they both enjoyed the new, yet unsure, confession that passed between them.
Finals week was stressful for everyone including Edward and James. They were more than glad it was over. Edward was staying the first week off with James in his dorm then going back to Forks for a week, and then finally going to spend the remaining days with James back in Seattle.
The week off with James was spent doing several indoor and outdoor activities. As James promised he took Edward skiing for his first time; he hated it, spending more time face first in the snow than anything else. After a few runs on the bunny hill and one bruised ego, they went into the lodge and enjoyed warm drinks and each others' company. Watching the snow lovers play was fun for Edward and he wouldn't have minded sitting in the lodge while James did a few more runs on the more advanced hills. James, however, didn't want to leave Edward alone, so they left the ski resort a few hours earlier than expected.
Edward was determined to do something winter related so the next day they went ice skating at a nearby ice rink, Edward didn't fall once. He was proud of himself. What he didn't know when he suggested ice skating was how well James could do that. When Edward asked him about it he told him that his parents enrolled him in all sorts of classes when he was younger. They ranged from Musical kindergarten to dance and figure skating. The only activity James continued with enthusiasm was playing guitar. He skated until he was 16 then quit to do other things. Edward was in awe of how talented James was. James never bragged or boasted; he was rather shy and quiet about his talents, almost in an undermining way.
Before Edward realized it, his week with James was over and he had to head back to Forks. Since Chris didn't have a car his mom agreed to pick him up. When she arrived at the school and made it to his door room she pulled him into a giant hug and almost started crying. She contained herself. Once they got to the car it was like she turned into an investigator. The questions just kept pouring from her. She wanted to know about everything from school to James and although he was tired of playing 20 questions he was grateful that she accepted him and wanted to be kept informed about his life. Edward gushed about James and when he told his mom that they were in love she squealed. Of course she wanted to meet him and asked Edward if it would be okay for her to visit sometime in the spring. He had no qualms with that and he figured that James wouldn't either since his parents wanted to meet Edward. The light hearted conversation quickly darkened when Edward asked about his dad.
"Have you talked to dad? How's he doing?"
"I've talked to him sweety. He's doing fine."
"Well has he asked about me? Or said anything about me at all?"
Edward's mother shook her head. She lied. His dad had in fact asked about him and said several things about him, none of which were good. As much as she tried to make him see that being gay wasn't wrong or a sin Edward's dad refused to listen. He had told her not to even bother inviting him over for Christmas, he wanted nothing to do with Edward. It broke his mother's heart and she knew it would break Edward's so she kept her mouth shut and didn't tell Edward any of it.
The rest of car ride was spent in a somber silence.
Not wanting his mom to see the hurt caused by his dad, Edward swallowed his pain and tears. If his dad didn't care he was going to try not to either. Upon arriving at the house Edward plastered on a fake smile and asked his mom if she wanted to spend the night watching movies with him. She most definitely did. The two of them spent some much needed and therapeutic quality time together. Edward couldn't deny it, he needed his mother. The evening ended on a good note and Edward went to sleep without thinking about his father.
Waking up rather early Edward didn't know what to do with himself. He puttered around the house, woke up his mom to cook him breakfast, watched TV and then got ready for the day. It only 11 by the time he was finished. There was only one thing left him to do and that was to annoy Alice. She bailed on him for Thanksgiving, so he figured she could deal with him and his dramatics all day long. He didn't really think she'd be asleep since she is always energetic, but he could hope. Feeling more jovial then usually he borrowed him mom's car and drove to her house. Not bothering to knock he let himself in.
"Hi momma Winters!" Edward said as Alice's mom peaked her head through the kitchen door way to see who had come in. "Is Alice home?"
"She's in her room." Alice's mom smiled largely when she realized it was Edward. "You come give me a hug before you go up there."
Edward gave Alice's mom a hug and then walked towards the back of the house where Alice's room was. He debated knocking, but didn't.
"MALICE!" he yelled when she didn't turn around at the sound of her door opening.
Alice practically jumped out of her skin. Edward couldn't stop laughing at her. Once she gathered herself she walked towards him and hit him.
"Ouch." He rubbed his shoulder as if her tiny fist actually hurt him.
"Asshole. You deserve it."
"Oh you liked it." He teased. She laughed.
"I've missed you." Alice hugged Edward. "Whatcha wanna do today?"
"As long as I'm spending time on you I don't care." Edward smiled.
"Ick. Save your cheesiness for your lover boy." She laughed.
"You miss my cheesiness. Let's watch a movie." Edward suggested.
"Ok, my pick though!" She laughed.
"Hey before we start, did you and Emmett work things out?"
Alice frowned. "Not really. I think we broke up, I'm not sure though. It's confusing."
"What? What happened?"
"I don't know really, he says I expect too much from him," She shook her head "I don't wanna talk about it right now. I'm not gonna let him ruin my time with you."
"I'm sorry." Edward hugged her and then picked her up and carried her out to the living room. He didn't want to see his best friend sad.
She squealed in surprise when he picked her up.
The second movie was almost over when Alice got a call from Emmett. Even though she didn't sound sad talking to him, Edward could see the sadness in her eyes. They talked for a few minutes and she turned her attention back to Edward.
"We're going bowling in a couple of hours." She said with authority.
"What?"
"Some people from our class are going bowling. We're joining them."
"Okie doke, sounds fun." Edward shrugged his shoulders.
True to what Alice had said, they were at the bowling alley. Feeling chivalrous Edward wanted to pay for Alice, she fought it, but he won. They stood in line got their bowling shoes and headed towards the people they recognized.
Immediately Emmett gathered Alice in his arms and hugged her tightly. Edward could feel uneasiness wafting off of her. He walked over to Emmett and started talking to him. Alice subtly squeezed his hand as a thank you. He made a mental to note to find out what was going on later. There were quite a few people at the bowling alley that Edward recognized; he made small talk with a lot of them too. Somewhere between mingling and taking his turn bowling he lost Alice. As he scanned the lanes surrounding him he saw Jasper. Jasper was standing with some of their old football buddies. Edward didn't care to talk to any of them so he acted as if he didn't see them. Looking around the bowling alley Edward noticed that Emmett was gone too. He figured they went somewhere to talk. Trying not to get frustrated about being ditched Edward walked to the café and bought a coke. On his way back to his lane Jasper caught him.
"What the fuck? No hello?"
"You were with people I don't care for. I didn't wanna go over there." Edward stated bluntly.
"Whatever." Jasper brushed past Edward and continued walking.
Almost 40 minutes passed. Neither Alice nor Emmett had returned and Edward was starting to feel awkward. He decided to call Alice to see where she was, but got no reception in the bowling alley. He was going to have to walk outside to call her. Changing shoes Edward went outside and was about to call Alice when he saw Jasper shutting the trunk of his car. Edward didn't know what came over him; whether it was his frustration with being back home or about Alice disappearing, he confronted Jasper.
"Jasper?" Jasper turned around at the sound of his name. "What's your problem, man?"
"Huh?" Jasper did nothing to hide his disinterest in the conversation.
"Why are you being such an asshole to me?" Edward said slightly throwing up his hands in question "Is it because of my relationship with James? Because I'm gay, cuz I thought you got over that."
Jasper started at Edward intently for a minute before responding. "It's because you changed."
"Bullshit. I haven't changed at all."
"Yes you have. Ever since you started dating that one kid, you act all fucking high and mighty. It grows old fast."
"Fuck you, you're just pissed that I, for once, have something you don't. A sense of security. You can't get over the fact that you're to fucking insecure to do anything for yourself. You're majoring in what your dad wants you too. Its college you're supposed to find yourself, not grow into a mold.
Jasper grew tired of the fight so he went for Edward's soft spot. "At least my dad still talks me, fairy."
It wasn't so much the comment about Edward's dad not talking to him, but the 'fairy' at the end of the sentence that made Edward see red. When that word came out of Jasper's mouth Edward could hear his dad call him a fairy and rage surged through him. Edward lunged for Jasper, the tips of his knuckles making contact with Jasper's jaw. Jasper struck back and the boys were on the ground throwing punches and insults. Edward was pinned beneath Jasper when Edward felt Jasper's weight being lifted off of him.
After getting up Edward tried to go for Jasper again, but was restrained. Struggling to get free he paid no attention to whom was around him or what they were saying. Eventually he calmed himself down and the person holding him back let go. Alice was standing in front of him he was trying understand what she was saying.
"…drive you home. Let's go." She reached for his hand and he recoiled. He stomped off to the car and Alice ran behind.
"Edward! Let me drive you home!"
He threw his keys at her and then waited for her to unlock the car. The drive back to his house was filled with tension and anger.
Edward stormed inside his house and straight to him room. Alice followed silently behind him shaking her head at Edward's mom as if telling her it wasn't a good moment to ask what was going on. Grabbing a Ziploc bag Alice filled it with ice and then wrapped a few paper towels around. Edward had a bloody, and soon to be fat, lip. She didn't know what else to do for it. As she left the kitchen she saw Edward's mom standing at the bottom of the stairs with a worried look on her face.
"Don't worry. He's okay. He just got into a little fight with Jasper. Once he calms down I'm sure he'll talk to you about it." They both knew that last sentence was true.
Pacing the room Edward didn't look up when he heard the door open. He was too focused on trying to sort out his emotions. He wasn't exactly sure how he was feeling; proud for standing up for himself, stupid for acting the way he did, rage towards Jasper for being an asshole and irritation at Alice for leaving him alone. Those were only the emotions he could tell apart from one another. He wasn't about to begin trying to identify all the unfamiliar feelings residing within him.
"Edward?" Alice said softly. She held out the paper towel wrapped Ziploc baggy.
Edward took it and nodded his head as a thank you. She could tell he wasn't in the mood to talk so she left the room and asked Edward's mom for a ride home, to which she gladly obliged.
When Edward heard the front door shut he let out roar. He was furious. Jasper was an ass to him, but he shouldn't have taken his anger out on him. Although he knew he had to call Jasper and apologize, he wasn't going to do it right away. They both needed to calm down. Finally calming down enough to sit Edward moved to his bed and felt a sharp sting as he sat down; lifting up his shirt he could already see the outline of a bruise forming from one of the blows that Jasper landed. Edward groaned and gently laid himself down on the bed. After all the adrenaline wore off he found himself extremely tired. He would deal with everything when he woke up.
The smell of bacon filled the down stairs. Edward found his mom in the kitchen cooking breakfast.
"Sorry if I worried you last night." He spoke up as he tried to stretch and rub the back of neck.
"It's okay sweety. Let me see your lip." She gasped at the small cut on his lip. He wasn't even considering showing her the bruise on his abdomen.
Sitting down at the table he told his mom about the previous nights' events and they talked about it. He spent the rest of Christmas break, with his mother, inside the house. He called Jasper to apologize several times and text him as well, but he never got a reply or acknowledgment that Jasper got the messages.
Alice stopped by a couple of times, but Edward shut himself away and acted reserved when she came over. It wasn't until night before he was about to leave that he called her over. She came over, but she could tell that he still wasn't acting like himself.
They sat silently in his bedroom for a little bit before Edward started talking.
"Where did you go?
"Emmett wanted to talk we were sitting in his car. He saw you start the fight and he pulled Jasper off of you." She said in a guilty voice.
"What did he want to say?" Edward did care, but right now he was irritated that she always seemed to be leaving him for Emmett.
"To apologize, he didn't like seeing me hang all over you."
"That's stupid he knows I'm gay." He didn't hide incredulous tone in his voice.
"That was his point. He didn't like watching me hang all over my gay best friend, so he would hate seeing me with another guy. So he wanted to apologize and try to make things better between us." Alice waited for Edward to reply and when he didn't she continued. "What did Jasper say to make you punch him?"
"He called me a fairy." He ended the explanation there he didn't want to have to explain why it pissed him off. He still hadn't told Alice about the situation with his dad.
"That's it? He's done worse to you and this is what you choose to punch him for." Alice didn't believe him.
"He's also been a dick since school started. It was just piling up."
"How has he been a dick?" She knew something was up and since she couldn't ask Jasper because they weren't really friends she had to find out from Edward.
"He's been ignoring me and then blaming it on me. I… just… ever since I started dating James it's as if he doesn't wanna be my friend anymore."
"Maybe it's because he's jealous."
"I called him out on that. That he's mad that I have something he doesn't."
"I don't think that's what he's jealous about."
"What would he have to be jealous about?"
"James. I saw Jasper staring at you earlier in the bowling alley when we first got there. I think he likes you." Edward laughed loudly at her statement.
"Malice, what are you smoking?"
"I'm being serious. I could tell you were gay, why don't you believe me about him. I just think he's too scared to say anything about."
"Yeah… Whatever. He's not even answering my calls so I doubt that he'll ever tell me anything."
"Fine, don't believe me. I know I'm right though. So are you done being weird because I won't see you till summer?" A smirk spread across Alice's face. Edward pushed is irritation aside so that he could enjoy his time with Alice.
"Yeah, I'm done. Wanna play a game of rat screw?"
"I'm going to kick your ass."
Edward spent a couple of hours with Alice. They played some card games and then just spent time talking. He had almost forgotten how much he missed her. Unfortunately, she had to leave earlier than he wanted her to.
The next morning Edward's mom drove him back to Seattle. Edward spent the last days of the break with James at his parent's house. He had prepped himself to meet James parents, but found out that they had gone to a cabin for New Years. Relief washed through Edward, his break had already been emotional he didn't want the stress of having to impress his boyfriend's parents on top of that.
Never did Edward think that he would be ready for a break to be over. He actually wanted school to start. It was good at distracting him from his familial and friend problems. Two weeks had passed since the fight with Jasper and Edward still hadn't heard from him. He was fed up with being ignored and feeling like it was his fault. He walked over to Jasper's room and knocked on the door and a guy he didn't recognized answered. Edward's first thought was that Jasper got a new roommate, but when he peeked around the guy standing in the door he didn't see any of Jasper's things in the room.
"Is Jasper here?"
"Who?" The guy sounded confused.
"Jasper?" Edward clarified.
"I don't know who that is? I just moved in at the start of the quarter." He shook his head.
"He lived here last quarter, I think he forgot to tell me he switched rooms." Edward said trying not to feel stupid for not knowing. "Sorry for bothering you."
"It's cool." The guy said before shutting the door.
As Edward started to walk back to his room it donned on him that Jasper would have had to sign up for a room change before fall quarter ended. Then he realized if that were the case Jasper would have had several chances to tell him. Once Edward got back to his room Edward called Jasper and as he expected Jasper didn't answer. Edward left Jasper a very clear message.
"I'm sorry I punched you. I stopped by your room and found out you moved. Anyways I was calling to tell you that if you don't at least acknowledge that I've been trying to get a hold of you, don't bother talking to me again. This is too much drama for me."
Edward hung up the phone then proceeded to wait for it to ring.
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)