And now we will see natures way of telling you "you're fuckin' retarded."
"Shut up!!" Kiriumi whined, holding an ice pack to her head. "Hangovers suck!"
Too true...Onto the next chapter!
Harsh, throbbing pain in her head brought Kiriumi out of her world of dreams. Which was actually a good thing considering her dream was quite a strange one... "Damn, my head is killing me! What was with last night? I know I was drinking, but I don't remember anything after jumping Renji and trying to get him to drink some jello shots...What happened after that, though?!" Thinking on it only made the throbbing pain in her head even worse. Just then an image of her kissing her captain flashed through her mind. "D-did I..."
"So you're awake." Ikkaku sat on the floor next to the door, staring closely at the new fourth seat. "Took you long enough...I didn't know you were such a lightweight when it comes to sake. Or such a crazy drunk..." He grinned at her as her face grew red from embarrassment. "I'm sure Renji'll be having nightmares 'bout your very upfront approach...And then taichō--"
He was cut off from his teasing when a shoe hit him directly in between his eyes. "Shut up!" She shouted, placing her hand on her head. "I was drunk! It doesn't count if I kissed Kenpachi-taichō when I was drunk."
His anger quickly faded away as he threw the shoe into the closet and strut over to her futon before plopping down right next to her. "Kissin' taichō, eh? Now that's news to me."
A darker flush covered her cheeks. "It's not...I'm not even...sure...I-I don't even know....It must have been a dream! I really don't remember anything after getting Renji to do jello shots. So it's possible that I dreamed it."
"Che. The point is you're thinkin' 'bout kissin' the taichō. You like taichō, don't you?" There was no need to wait for her reply, the redness of her face told it all. "Heh, you're in love with Kenpachi-taichō!"
"Sh...shut up!" Kiriumi shouted, ignoring the pounding headache she had. "S-so what if I do? There's nothing wrong with having a crush on your taichō! I mean, look at Hinamori-fukutaichō and Aizen-taichō! Hinamori is always all over her taichō."
He grinned down at her. "Ain't nothing wrong with it, it's just funny to think about you and taichō as a couple."
"They wouldn't be that bad a match." The two shinigami turned their attention to the beautiful man standing in the doorway. Yumichika walked into the room, shutting the door behind him, and sat down next to Ikkaku on Kiriumi's futon. "Just think about it. You remain calm over little things while taichō gets frustrated easily, you have a kind and loving nature while taichō is rather violent and wild, you're skilled at cooking and simple everyday things, almost like the perfect housewife, while taichō can barely work an oven. You two complete each other. Not to mention you both love fighting and Yachiru admires you both."
The blush seemed to be permanently spread across her face. "I'm not all that worried about it. It's only a crush, it's really not all that important." Surprisingly her headache was starting to fade already, although she still wished she could stay in bed all day. Flipping the blanket off of her legs she stood up and stretched. "Taichō probably doesn't even think of me that way anyway. Please, guys, don't tell anyone. I'd rather not have a lot of people getting involved with my relationships." Her friends nodded at her, watching at she quickly pulled her hair back into a messy pony-tail. "Well, I've gotta go cook breakfast!"
"But it's already four in the afternoon." Yumichika pointed out.
"Oh fuck!" Kiriumi shouted, running off in the direction of her kitchen. "I guess I'll start on dinner then!"
Finally...peace and quiet. Or so the eleventh squad captain thought he would have. Kenpachi had been working on some paperwork that was needed for his new fourth seat. Thinking of his new fourth seat...maybe he should keep her away from alcohol. He leaned back in his chair and thought back to their meeting after the party the previous night.
Stumbling out of the party, Kiriumi had to use the wall to support herself. It was then that she noticed her captain was outside, drinking by himself and watching the moon. "Kenpachi-taishō! I foun' joo!" She slurred, making her way over to where the her captain was sitting.
His uncovered eye followed her drunken movements as she tripped over her own two feet and fell into his lap. "What are you doing, Kiriumi?" She giggled up at him, rolling on her back so she could watch the sky. "You've been drinking."
"Jus' a lil' bit." The fourth seat mumbled, smiling softly at the sky. "Y'know I thought it'd be harder ta get ober everythin'..." Her eyes were glazed over from the alcohol, but her thoughts seemed fairly sober. "But...shomehow wit joo guys I know I'll be fine..." Placing her hand on his chest, she smiled up at him. "Eshpecially you, taishō..."
Kenpachi was about to reply when she leaned up and pressed her lips against his, in a sloppy, drunken kiss. When she pulled away, she lay her head back down in his lap. "...You've had too much to drink, I'll take you back to your room." Completely ignoring any and all protests, the captain picked her up and threw her over his shoulder making his way through the halls, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from his underlings...And the vomit he could feel was on the back of his captains haori and shoes.
Rolling his eyes, the captain decided to go check on the lightweight shinigami. First stop, Kiriumi's room. To his surprise Kiriumi wasn't in her room, instead Ikkaku and Yumichika were sitting on her bed, talking in hushed voices. "You guys seen Kiriumi?"
They both seemed startled by the sudden appearance of their captain. "Actually she just woke up and left for the kitchen." Yumichika smiled one of his perfectly beautiful, not to mention shiny, smiles.
"You might not wanna go down there, taichō." Ikkaku added. "She's in one of those moods."
Kenpachi eyed them for a moment before shrugging. "I'll take a chance."
I'm hiding from the destructive, cooking tornado in the kitchen...don't tell her I'm here!
Loud crashes could be heard from the kitchen as countless squad eleven members hid from their new fourth seat. Everybody knew when Kiriumi was in the kitchen you stay away, but when Kiriumi was in the kitchen and she was in a hurry, you flee for your very life!! Very few, select people actually dared to venture into the kitchen at those times. Yachiru was one of those few.
"Kiri-chan! I'm done stirring the batter, can I eat it yet?!" The pink haired sugar-bomb asked, jumping on the youngest Unohana's shoulder to get her attention.
Chopping vegetables so fast you could barely see her hands, she shook her head. "Not yet, Yachiru-chan. You don't eat the batter like that! You've gotta wait for it to be cooked. If you wanna help out more, can you kneed the dough?"
Jumping over to where the pile of dough sat on a freshly floured counter Yachiru nodded. "I'll be the best kneeder ever!" Smiling fondly at the girl, the fourth seat turned her attention back to the pork grilling on the stove. Just then another person entered the room. "Ken-chan! Look, look! Doesn't it look good, Ken-chan? But Kiri-chan says I shouldn't eat it until it's cooked!"
A flush of embarrassment spread across Kiriumi's face. She never was good at hiding her emotions, but if she didn't look at him maybe he wouldn't be able to tell. "I-is there anything I can do for you, t-taichō?"
His much larger form seemed to loom over hers as he checked to see what she was cooking. "No. I was just checkin' up on you. You don't hold your liquor well."
"Yeah! You're a funny drunk!" Yachiru added, grinning widely. "I think you scared tattoo-face though, he's been hiding out in his room all day long! He didn't even come to breakfast...but you didn't either!"
"I don't drink often, so it should be obvious that I'm not all that good at holding my liquor." The red on her face just seemed to keep getting darker, right about now it even rivaled the red of Renji's hair. "I don't really remember what I did to scare Renji-kun though...actually I don't really remember much of anything last night..." Keeping her face down so her captain wouldn't see the color, she took the bowl of vegetables she had cut up earlier and took them to another stove on the other side of the room and placed them in the boiling water.
"That's too bad." The young girl continued. "Last night was loads of fun!"
Another presence made itself known. "More so for some than for others..."
Glaring harshly at Yumichika, who just smiled sweetly in return, Kiriumi sneered. "I'm quite sure everyone had a decent amount of fun, Yumi-chan." Dammit! She knew he wasn't just going to leave it alone. He always had to stick his perfect little nose into everyone else's business. And now he wasn't going to stop until he had succeeded in either fixing her up with their captain or completely ruining her life...and she really hoped it wasn't the latter.
"No need to hide how much you enjoyed your night, Kiri-chan." Quickly advancing to the other side of the room, the feather faced man gently shoved his friend out of the way. "Here, I'll take care of whatever's on this stove, you go take care of the meat over there."
Gritting her teeth as she glared evilly at him, she muttered out a strained, "Thanks..." before heading back to the oven Kenpachi was standing by. To her surprise, her captain seemed to have it handled. Perhaps he did actually have a hidden talent for cooking...
Just then Ikkaku and Renji waltzed into the room. "Yo! So this is where everyone's at." The bald one grinned, grabbing Renji before he had the chance to flee.
"Perfect!" Kiriumi quickly placed several trays into their hands. "These should be set out for right now, and make sure to disperse the food evenly to all the tables! I've had complaints about others getting more food than the rest. Then I expect you both to come right back, and make sure to bring up several more bags of rice as well as more bottles of sake." The two were trying to sneak out the door already, but she smacked them on their heads with the empty bowl she was still holding. "And if you don't return I'll make sure neither of you get a single scrap of food, or even drink for that matter, from anyone for an entire month!"
The two nodded, knowing that she was not afraid to go through with it either. Turning around, she finally noticed just how well everyone was working together. Yachiru focusing all her energy on the dough, Yumichika keeping an eye on the boiling vegetables as he chopped up more, Ikkaku and Renji carting around the food, and Kenpachi flipping the meat when it seemed well enough grilled. It was almost like some kind of cracked-out, highly dysfunctional family working together like they'd been doing this every day of their lives.
It was...perfect...
No fair...the closest I've ever gotten to a cracked-out, highly dysfunctional family was when two of my friends came to my cousins place and we all made curry together.
"That's almost like this." Kiriumi grinned.
Yeah, I guess...