Thanks to the great Tomoyo-chan284 who beta this story.
The water felt nice…at least that was good. It was about 2 more months since we have been trapped here. Day 128…it is May (according with our own calendar). There is something bothering me. At the beginning I could not hear the voices of Sapphire or Ruby in my head…I accepted that because while I could no longer hear the conversation it was still okay because I could feel them…that was until a week or two ago. I realize that human minds work differently, while in the space of my head I could connect with the two components that were me. Most humans and some gems who are not fusions, just dealt with their thoughts in a different way. But now I could not feel them anymore. I was alone with my own thoughts…what was worse…maybe this was permanent maybe even if I became a gem again I will be just…Garnet. No longer a conversation between two loved ones. What if I lost also my future vision, here it was not really needed…or at least that was what I believed at the moment. It must have been bad enough, my internal train of thought, that Isidoro...
-Que pasa? Que tienes?—he said—I mean you have been very serious this last week and usually you enjoy swimming here.—he said looking at the lake that was in the middle of our forest.
-You know that I'm not human.—I said coming out of the water and sitting in a small rock close to him.
-Yes, a alien of some kind.—he said sitting down and leaning close to me.
-Correct, but I also the result of the love of two different gems.—I said.
-Like a hybrid? A mestizo?—he asked intrigued by this.
-Yes but not how you think,—I clarify—in my…what used to be my home, I was two different beings.— I picked out a couple of stones from the ground—Imagine a society where your purpose was decided the moment when you were born, where certain kind of gems get some jobs while others served others deemed superior to others.—I told him, the I looked up to see if he follow with all.
-I can picture that…sure I can.—he said his full attention on me, he was not angry.
-Well, in my world there was different post for different gems: quartz, amethysts, jaspers and topazes were soldiers; zircons are judiciary personal…lawyers if you will; rubies work as guards and minor soldiers; sapphires are seers…the can see into the future and for that they are greatly appreciated by the rulers of our world…the diamonds.—I stopped to see if he had any questions.
-So your people are precious stones?—he asked.
-Yes…our gems not only are our name, they are part of us,—then I picked a smooth black stone—Picture this stone…the whole body of the gem originates from here and…if the gem gets hurt enough it retreats inside.—I said to him.
-Like a snail or tortoise?—he asked.
-Close enough analogy.—I said.
-Why are you telling me this?—he asked—I don't mind that you were that before.
-Gems can fuse with each other …mostly gems of the same kind to increase their strength or to get a boost in their special abilities. My fusion was between to gems of different kind: a ruby and a sapphire.-
-When you said mostly you mean that is not common to fuse with gems of other kind or…that is forbidden?—he asked. I think that he just wanted confirmation to his idea.
-The later.—I confirmed.
-But the point to all this context is…when gems fuse it is a union between two willing partners…a conversation of sorts…at least that is how I see it,—I paused for a moment—I haven't been able to hear the conversation since I got here and about 2 weeks ago I stopped feeling ruby and sapphire,—I finished.
He looked at me for a few minutes and he asked.
-When you said that you can hear them or feel them how you mean it?—he said carefully—Like two people in the same head or like some kind of fusing of the 2 minds?—he finished.
-Like two persons in the same head…but working in harmony…two wills working in a same idea and vision…working together because they love each other.—I said finally.
-And you can't hear then and feel them anymore?—he inquired.
-Yes-.
-I think, that due the fact that humans minds don't work like that, ruby and sapphire have fused consciousness,—he then elaborated—I mean, if you were a conversation before, now you are the conclusion to that conversation.—he then said—Getting philosophical you were the thesis and antithesis constantly interacting now…you are pure synthesis,—he said and concluded—are you afraid to never hear them again?—
-Yes, this is not normal to me,—I said calm, even if inside I was not—that conversation is how I am.-
-You still are them,—he told me—You are a combination of the 2 personalities…I don't know which aspect of which is from ruby or from sapphire, but I can assure you, I can see that you had two sides.-
-How?—that was curious, how he could tell that I had two sides.
-Well…there is the calm collected side that you show nearly every time…but I am pretty sure that you doing this,—he said signaling the forest—was not an idea from that side.-
-Yeah…but I still will be just Garnet—she said.
-You said that like it is a bad thing,—he said in the side—now listen, no human is a pure single being…people have conflicted emotions and attitudes, sometimes our own ideas clashed with each other, we contradicted ourselves constantly…so welcome to the human condition,—he said—but then again, I am not the best person to talk about mind stuff, that is not my camp of study; I study History and give classes to little kids.-
-Still is good that you just hear me…even if you can't help me.—I said.
-I do the best I can,—he said—but…let's talk of less sad things…tell me about your child and friends, I think talking of happier things will be good for you.-
-What you want to know of them?—I asked him to know what to answer.
-What about your boy?—he said.
-He is not my kid, he is Rose's kid.—I corrected him.
-She maybe the one who gave birth to him…but you raised him…just tell me this…do you love him?—he said.
-You have no idea.—I smiled remembering Steven.
-He is your kid. Well…what is he like?—
-He is…a little naïve, firmly believes in giving everyone an opportunity, even if commonsense says otherwise,—I remembered the Navy incident—He is 15 years old, about your waist tall and…-he then interrupt me.
-Just my waist? He is kind of short for a 15 year old.—he said baffled.
-He is as close as we can get to a gem-human hybrid…he was born from Rose Quartz's union to Greg Universe, a human,—I explained to him—looks a lot like his mother…but he got his father hair color.-
-hijo de tigre pintito—I heard him mumble—and what does the father…Greg do?-
-He is owner of a carwash—I said—before that he wanted to be a musician—
-Was he any good?—he asked me.
-He was…interesting and creative.—I concede.
-Okay and what about your friends…Steven's other mothers or aunts?—he continued.
-Pearl will be human like to you, she will be I guess like 10 to 8 cm less than you, slim, with a with skin…like this sky,—I said pointing to it—She also has orange hair and blue eyes, lighter ones than I do; Amethyst is very short I will say about as short as Steven…completely purple and with hair that reached her feet.-
-Personality wise how they are?—he elaborated.
-Pearl is organized, clean…beyond the necessary point. Amethyst is for her part a…hoarder like Greg, just in a bigger scale; her room has things from different eras,—trying to come up with more details—then there are Peridot and Lapis.
-And they are?—he pressed.
-They are from different backgrounds; Lapis was a causality from our war against Homeworld and Peridot was initially a second generation gem who came to earth so survey a gigantic geoweapon to destroy earth from within,—I said…then I realize that he was looking me baffled—it is complicated.-
-If it wasn't for the answers that I got from the computer…I would have thought that being here finally driven you to insanity,—he said sighing—so your life is very complicated…and you are the leader here am I correct?—he finally asked standing up.
-More or less.—then I asked—Are you going to stop this conversation—I said.
-No I just think that we should go to home and eat something—he said beginning to walk—We could talk on the way home—he said as he waited for me.
As I walked towards him to walk our way home he asked me something.
-Do you have someone back home?… I mean…a boyfriend like Rose had.—he clarified.
-Never…there was the young mailman…Jaime. He wanted to but I was already in a relationship.—I told him remembering the incident.
-Oh…you mean the ruby-sapphire thing—he said…did he sound a little disappointed?
-Yes…and you, have you family to return to? Friends or a girlfriend?—I asked returning his question back to him.
-Well…my grandparents from both sides are gone…my father…he disappeared when I was 10 years old and my mother along with my grandfather from my father's side raised me.—he said.
-What happened with your father?—I asked him—Why did he leave you?—I asked a little confused.
-It's really complicated to say, but you could said that he is dead,—he told me stopping to carefully get down from some rocks—Let me finish the details when we get to the house.-
After 5 minutes we were in the house and he was making coffee…I was just seated waiting for the rest of the history.
-Well, you need to understand…I was a kid in 1968, I was 9 years old…and at the time there was going to be a big event in my country…the Olympic games México 68.—he said then he stopped—My father was a teacher but he was pretty involved in certain groups…certain groups who demanded changes in the academic curriculum and other civil matters, the details of which will just confuse you because I am sure that the way that the human world went in your world is different to mine.—he took a sip from his cup and continued—My grandfather disapproved of his involvement but he said nothing…we were in the north so we were safe from "the crazy subversives of the south" he said—he smiled—but when the games were getting closer my father had planned to go to the capital and protest but…-he stopped.
-Your grandfather intervened?—I asked.
-He did more than that…he argued with my father, he told him that he did not waste his whole youth pacifying the country to let it be disturbed by a bunch of kids like him…I watched as things got violent, my grandfather know how to fight and knocked out my father, he then locked him in a room of the house,—he paused, I thought the he was waiting to see if I had doubts, not getting a response he continued—Well he told me that what he had done was necessary, that someday, when I became a grownup I will understand…he was right in a way…-he paused.
-What do you mean that you now understand?—I asked.
-My grandfather was a veteran…just like you of a war…also a civil war of a government who oppressed some parts of the society…it was a big deal more nuance but you get the idea.—he tried to explain.
-Still your father was fighting for a just cause. He…-I began but he raised his hand.
-Garnet…have you done things during the war that you regret…things that make you question if what all that you did during the war was for the best?—he asked in serious tone.
I searched within myself and remember that old war camp, all the gems who fell by my fists and the big deal of gems on our side who perished…then I remembered Lapis who was an innocent and was poofed by one of us and then imprisoned.
-I think I know what are you are saying.—I concede.
-Well then…but that night my father escaped from a window and went to the capital…we never knew of him again. The protests of '68 were bloody and some people did not come back…my father probably was one of them,—he pause and said—I am pretty sure that he died but my grandfather never wanted to hear about it. In his mind he did all he could do and there was nothing to say… but I guess he felt guilty because he raised me…he worked to pay for my education.-
-So that's what you were saying when you mentioned about your father.—I concluded.
-Yes…well any other questions?—he asked smiling but I knew that it was a front…this had been a little painful.
-You did not answer my last question/—I said trying to lighten the mood.
-Uh? What do you mean? Oh I get it.—he snapped his fingers—Well the answered is yes…there is one but I think that it won't be possible for me.—he said going to the sink to wash his cup.
-Why not?—I asked. Maybe I could do something…give him advice.
-Because I don't believe I go after women already taken—he said as a matter of fact.—If she was free I would do it but…she made very clear that she is with someone else, so I think it's better that way.-
Then he left to sleep; he said that it was very tired. It wasn't even that late. Then I heard the sound system in the bedroom. Then I thought that maybe... no it can't be... I was probably wrong...this was the problem of not having future vision.
AN:
"Mestizo", person of mixed ancestry. In México this means indian and spanish.
The events that Isidoro is describing are the student and teachers protests that happen in Mexico in the 60s. A lot of young people who were in the protests died in the chaos…Isidoro's father is dead.
The posture of Isidoro grandfather was shared by a lot of people of his generation...years of fighting in the revolution of 1910-17 left Mexicans fearful of another war. He did what he thought was the right thing to do to maintain peace.