AN: Once again, thanks for the reviews from Chapter 3. My only request now is that those of you who are just reading it (I know you're out there) please shoot me a review and let me know what you think of it. Ok, and the song for this chapter is "So-So Suicide" by Finger Eleven.

I was sitting at my desk feeling very overwhelmed by the story staring me in the face and the memories that I couldn't seem to escape. That's when James returned, holding a tape for me. "Boss, told me to get this to you since this is your story now," he said, passing me the tape.

I looked at it as my brow crinkled in wonder. I looked back at James, "Is this the one he sent?"

"Yep, the completely unedited one, some of it on there is pretty horrid," he frowned.

"Ok, thanks," I nodded.

"No problem," he said, flashing me a thumbs-up before departing.

I was nervous to watch the tape. I mean I had seen it on the news already, what he did to that man and his promise. But I put the tape in anyways, I didn't watch though, I just fast-forwarded through to see if anything seemed to jump out. Nothing did until the end. I let the end play. "I'm a man of my word," The Joker said, before the camera got all jumbled and his laughter filled the air. I paused it; I knew that place. To anyone else it was just an empty warehouse, but I knew what it had been…

It was the morning of the funeral for Jack's dad and brother. I had gone over to his place early, I was to ride with them. Jack needed me a lot more than my parents did anyways. The trouble was Jack had gone missing. We had an hour before we had to be at the funeral home and Jack's mother didn't know where he was. So I set out to look for him.

It wasn't hard to find him. Actually, I walked out the front door to find him sitting on the sidewalk at the curb. Call that hiding or what? I walked up to him and sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around him, pulling myself close to his body. He lifted up his right arm and wrapped it around me.

"So you didn't go missing," I whispered with a smile.

"No," he answered in monotone.

We sat there in silence, clinging to each other for the remainder of the time we had. I finally looked at my watch. It was time to go. I stood up, "Come on, we've got to go."

"I don't want to," Jack replied.

"Well, you don't have a choice," I said, taking his hand and using all my strength to pull him into a standing position.

He smirked as I nearly fell backwards when he finally allowed me to pull him up. "That's not funny," I said, trying to keep a straight face.

"Sorry," he said quietly, returning to his melancholy mood.

"No, I'm sorry," I said giving him a hug. He returned it and rested his chin on the top of my head.

We stayed in that moment until Jack's mom came rushing out of the house. "Come on, time to go," she said in very much the same sad tone that Jack had spoken in. Jack and I broke apart and followed her to the car, still holding hands.

The funeral was a complete blur for me. That was probably partly due to my eyes being filled with tears the entire time. I tried to stay as close to Jack as possible because I knew he needed me now more than ever.

A few days later, he went back to school with me. I think he did it to get his mind off everything. I also think it was to get away from his mother too though. She just wasn't right anymore. It was like there was something so beyond repairable broken within her that she just closed in from the world, waiting to die herself. It was awful to watch, but there was nothing anyone could do for her.

One day while we were eating lunch, Jack spoke up. He hadn't said much to me, but I knew he needed time. "Why me?" he asked.

"What?" I questioned, not sure what he was talking about.

"Why was it me? I shouldn't have lived. It should've been Ryan."

"You can't mean that. You can't beat yourself up the rest of your life about why you were the one to live."

"Sure I can. And it still shouldn't have been me."

"Why? Why do you say that? You're an incredibly nice guy, why wouldn't you deserve to live?"

"I have no skills, Lex. Ryan was so much more talented than me, so much smarter. He could've contributed so much more to this world than I ever can. He should've been allowed to live so he could have made a difference."

Tears stung my eyes. I wanted to cry for Jack because it broke my heart to hear him talk like that. "I don't believe that. You'll do great things too. You might not see the reason now, but one day you will, Jack. There's no doubt in my mind that there is a very good reason you lived, you have to believe that too."

"Except that I can't," Jack sighed, looking at his food to avoid meeting my gaze.

"And why can't you?" I demanded.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because. You wouldn't understand."

"Stop acting like a five-year-old and tell me, please."

"Fine." Jack took a long sip of his coke before telling me. "Even my mom believes it. I don't think she really blames me for them dying, but she doesn't understand how I walked away without a scratch. And she's sort of mad at the world for taking Ryan from her, he always was the favorite you know."

"Yeah, I know, but that's stupid. She should be thankful that you're still here too and that she didn't lose her entire family."

"Yeah, well, that'd be the logical response, I suppose. Instead, she refuses to have anything to do with me. It's like I'm now alone in this world, completely alone."

"You're not alone, Jack. You have me. And my parents, they love you too. I'm sure you could stay at my house if you don't want to deal with your mom."

"Thanks, but I think leaving her might make it a bit worse. She's already so depressed. I just don't know, Lex."

"Just promise me one thing, you won't let whatever she tells you tear you down. You're much better than that."

"I won't."

"Promise me," I insisted.

"I promise. I'm a man of my word," he winked.

"One more thing?" I asked as he stood up to dump his trash.

"Yeah?"

"Stop being so depressed."

"I'll try, but that one's a lot more difficult."

I knew he was probably changing, but I denied it every step of the way. I believed that my Jack would return shortly. I mean, it was expected to be difficult to get over your dad and younger brother dying in front of you while you were completely unharmed. And then his mother well on her way to giving up on life, it wasn't surprising. But he was stronger than that and I was convinced he'd come through just fine, yet as I watched him walk across the room a song ran through my mind,

I felt the blisters

Below the words

A universe waiting to explode

And I felt the words crawl out of my skull

And now you know

Exactly what you should

Don't bother pretending I seem fine

I like that I'm a mess

I can't stand it much longer in my head

I think it's time for bullets

Became so-so suicidal

And now I know the ugly from the good

Don't bother pretending I seem fine

I like that I'm a mess

I can't stand it much longer in my head

I think it's time for bullets

Don't bother pretending I seem fine

I'm trying to confess

I can't stand it much longer in my head

But it's not time for bullets