The elevator doors opened with a friendly ding, releasing me to the span of open space before the archway of the campus cafeteria. My sandals made no sound on the short pile carpet of the dining room. I found Mr. Johnny sitting at one of the tables, facing away from me. He gazed at a wall-mounted television screen that was tuned to a news channel covering the local flooding. His shoulders were hunched over, and when I leaned to the side, I could see a steaming cup of tea cradled in between his hands.
The poor man looked lonely despite me being in his company not even an hour prior. I wouldn't say he was a friend at that point, but I did have concerns for him and his situation. He performed quite the selfless act in bringing Ms. Brown, but he still wound up with the short end of the stick. I wanted to show him some hospitality to make up for his circumstances, and maybe he would not leave the situation feeling bitter.
"Mr. Johnny?" I called when I was almost directly behind him.
He yelped as he flung himself around, nearly tipping the chair he was sitting in over. I squeaked and leapt backward, squeezing the folded clothes tighter to my chest. Johnny's arms and legs flailed in circles to desperately gather his balance back to him before he fell to the floor.
I should have reached out and grabbed him to help, but I couldn't muster up the courage to touch someone. Only my boys were the exception.
Johnny managed to catch himself and clutched his chest right over his heart as he caught his breath. "Dad gum! You scared the tar out of me!"
A part of me wanted to giggle at his choice of expletives, but the bigger portion winced with shame. "I'm sorry." Maybe my habit to constantly tread lightly was a bad habit. To reinforce my apology, I held out the folded scrubs toward him as a peace offering.
Johnny blinked at the bundle a few times in a row to process the gesture.
I blushed, feeling awkward standing in the middle of an eatery with my arms held out as far as they could to a speechless man I had never met before today. "I… I'm sorry," I stuttered and quickly started trying to think up excuses and mindless rambles to chase away the shame and tension building in the silence. "I'm pretty sure these belong to Dr. Green. You're certainly taller than him, so they will probably be a little small for you. I can just go put them back if you don't want them…"
My elbows were just beginning to bend back to me when Johnny's mouth curled into a warm smile. "Thank you, Miss Sang. You're too kind. I'm touched." He stood up and pushed his chair in under the table before taking the bundle of clothing from me. I purposely prevented our hands from touching and was successful. He held the material away from his body so the dampness from his current outfit wouldn't ruin the dry set. "Even if they're a size short for me, I wouldn't mind walking around in highwater pants for a few hours. It's better than catching pneumonia from being wet as a dog and sitting in this freezing air conditioning."
My body shivered at the thought. The hospital cafeteria did always manage to keep the thermostat really low no matter the time of year. Maybe I should start keeping a sweater in the office.
Johnny asked me to keep an eye on his tea while he went off to the bathroom to change, so I took the seat on the opposite side from where he sat. After a few moments lost in my thoughts, I pulled my phone out of my bra and shot a text to Sean.
Sang: I should have asked permission first, but I gave the spare scrubs in the filing cabinet in your office to Mr. Galloway to wear.
Dr. Green: Permission granted.
Not even a moment passed when he texted me again.
Dr. Green: I have a moment free. Where are you?
Sang: Cafeteria.
I spotted Johnny making his way back with his old clothes twisted from being wrung out, but still obviously damp. They were in a loose bundle in his arms. I immediately sent another text.
Sang: Can you bring one of those Patient Belonging's bags, please?
Dr. Green: 10-4.
Johnny came up to the table and dropped his wet clothes into one of the empty chairs at an adjacent side of the square seating before reaching up and stretching. I quickly looked away when the hem of the shirt rode up and exposed an inch of his torso. The scrubs were indeed a size too small for him.
"Oh! That feel so much better. Thank you, Darlin'." He twisted from side to side to continue his stretching. His hair was sticking out in every direction, which was completely different than the still wet hair he was sporting before he went to go change.
"What happened to your hair?" I asked to alleviate my curiosity.
His hands ruffled his short, brown locks until it was even messier than before. "I stuck my head under the hand dryer in the men's room. It warmed me right up." He grinned goofily, accentuating the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes.
Johnny was holding his elbow tight against his collar to stretch his shoulder when Dr. Green approached, a white and plastic bag clutched in his hands. The two men locked eyes and froze in their tracks. Like a mirror reflection of each other, they eyed the other from head to toe, making for a hilarious scene with the two of them wearing identical toothpaste green scrubs and brown shoes on their feet. Dr. Green no longer had his white lab coat on, so they matched nearly perfectly. The two stared at each other awkwardly for a few heartbeats before Sean cracked up, doubling over in laughter. Johnny blushed for a second before he smiled and joined in with the laughter. The mirth was contagious, for I started my own giggles along with them, shaking my head at the hilarity.
Dr. Green handed the bag with the simple cotton drawstring at the top to Mr. Galloway once he composed himself halfway decently. Johnny immediately shoved his wet clothes into and cinched the bag up tight.
Sean sat down beside me and addressed Johnny. "If you want me to, I can go change into my apple pie and vanilla ice cream patterned scrubs in my overnight bag. I know how weird things get when two people show up to the same party with the same outfit on."
Johnny chuckled and took his seat. "Nah, Doc. You're good." He took a sip of his tea, which wasn't steaming anymore, and he furrowed his brows together. "I won't get into trouble for impersonating a doctor or nurse in a hospital, will I?"
Dr. Green shook his head, his hair dancing about his ears. His curls were tighter from air drying after being soaked in the rain. "You'll be fine. It's the badge that matters." He touched the white, plastic card that was clipped to the breast pocket of the uniform top. His eyes went back and forth between Johnny and me. "Don't ever hesitate to ask the hospital staff to verify their badge to you. They don't have business performing any procedures or sharing information if they can't produce their badge immediately."
I nodded to acknowledge him. He rewarded my attentiveness by hooking his foot around mine and rubbing the toe of his shoe along my inside arch. His shin pressed up against my calf, and I was aware of every square inch where we made contact. My face burned in a blush and my hands fidgeted in my lap, elated and embarrassed at the blatant flirting in public. Sean smiled and winked at me as his fingers tapped a random pattern on the table top.
Johnny twirled his tea around in the cup, playing with its sloshing more than drinking it. "How's Jackie?" he asked of Dr. Green.
"She's stable," he answered. Johnny's eyes brightened and his posture straightened slightly. His mouth was opening to say something, but Dr. Green beat him to it. "You can't visit her right now. I'm sorry." Sean truly looked regretful for the bad news.
Johnny's shoulders slumped right back to the way they were.
"She can't take visitors when she's unconscious," Sean explained, "unless it's immediate family or people she has previously authorized in a living will or records she already holds in our system."
Johnny nodded his understanding. "I don't blame y'all. I wouldn't want to wake up with a stranger in my room that wasn't sporting a shiny and official badge like yours." The follow-up grin was bittersweet.
The two guys talk a bit more about the weather, of all things, and the updates of the flooding Johnny gleaned from watching the television. Sean was just suggesting how we ought to put our wet clothes in a dryer in his wing's laundry facility, mentioning they were frequently used to such favors, when he got a page. He checked the little window of his pager after he dug it out of his pocket, and his eyebrows raised to his hairline. With a goofy grin, he reached over to me and squeezed my shoulder. "Sorry, but I need to run. I'm about to bring a brand new baby into the world!"
He jumped up and jogged out with an extra bounce in his step. Johnny and I were rendered speechless. "Congratulations!" Johnny called to Sean's back just before he disappeared through the stairwell door.
Johnny and I sat across from each other. He swirled his tea around more while staring at the television screen. I fidgeted with the cuticles of my fingernails, idly wondering when Gabriel would have enough free time to paint them again, or if one of the other guys would like a turn. Kind of like the time Victor wanted to wash my hair.
The air between us hung heavy with silence. With my entire life being banned from having friends and a willingness to not interact with anyone at school, at least before I moved to South Carolina, my social skills were lacking on how to properly converse with this stranger. I felt like he didn't deserve to be alone, but just sitting there seemed to make my good intentions belly flop into a pool of awkwardness. So I resorted to the one skill I practiced frequently. "I'm sorry," I apologized.
His blue eyes snapped to me, but I kept my own eyes off his head, falling back to old habits of avoiding eye contact.
"What are you sorry for?"
My hand fluttered to the base of my neck as I picked out the appropriate words to say. "For being stuck here. For your day and any missed plans you had. I'm sure you were headed to someplace much more interesting than this," I waved my hand around to indicate the dining room and beyond.
Johnny smiled. It was tired, but still held true happiness. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I have no regrets for helping that lady out. If it weren't for that, I'd just be at home all by myself, waiting for the day to be late enough to have a beer without guilt. That's all I've done for the past ten years. I'm glad for this change of pace. It's something different."
My eyebrow quirked up, curious about him and his life, but I didn't know how to tactfully ask.
He must have read it from my expression, for he went straight into explaining himself. Johnny was a construction worker by day and a self-proclaimed 'Professional Bachelor' at night. Apparently, that meant he ate a lot of delivery pizzas and take-out Chinese. He frequented a gym to counter all those calories. He owned his own house in the suburbs, dated on and off, but nothing ever developed into anything serious. He was content with his life; he voted every election and helped his guy friends with things, like moving or designated driving. But despite not being disappointed with himself, he felt like he had reached a lull, or stuck in a rut. He wanted to find a new hobby to pursue to break up the monotony of his daily life.
"But I'm sure you're not interested in hearing about my midlife crisis," he joked. "Tell me about yourself. What do you do around here at the hospital?"
The question wasn't loaded, quite innocent actually, but the answer proved to be difficult. My whole situation for being at the hospital was complicated. So I utilized the techniques Mr. Blackbourne trained me to skip around the blatant truth without actually lying. "Dr. Green calls me his 'nurse-in-training,' but I pretty much just shadow him around and try not to get into trouble."
"Are you two dating?"
I burned in a blush. "Is it obvious?" I countered with another question, neither confirming nor denying. Instead, I let him draw his own conclusions.
Johnny chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "He was playing footsie with you."
My mouth gaped. How did he know? O was certain he didn't peek under the table to see Sean's and my legs touching.
"I only know because the Doc found my foot first. But don't you worry your pretty little head. Your secret is safe with me." He winked.
Johnny yawned and excused himself to go get more hot tea. I took the opportunity to bid my goodbye and not interrupt his rest anymore. He looked like he needed a nap.
While wandering back to the Academy Wing, I debated whether I wanted to camp out in the office to stay out of the way and possibly be bored out of my mind, or whether it was worth asking one of the nurses where the laundry room was to get a start on drying our clothes. If I couldn't do the laundry, maybe I could find a supply closet, fill my arms with rolls of toilet paper, and check every single bathroom I could find, at least all the ladies restrooms until I had a chance to make a sign warning not to enter the men's room until I got out.
I never had the chance to make a decision, for Dr. Green called me.
"Did you miss me?" I could hear the smile on his face through the phone.
"Of course. How's your baby?"
"I delivered a bouncing baby boy. No complications and a high APGAR. I suggested the parents name him Sean. Oh, and before I forget, don't tell Owen I still have those apple pie scrubs." I couldn't stop my giggles. "I need you to do something for me, Nurse Sang." His tone had changed to reflect serious business.
I snapped to attention. "Yes?"
"Ms. Jackie Brown is due to wake up soon, and I want someone in there when she comes out of her sedation. When she does, give me a text and I'll head right on over. Can you do that for me, Pookie?"
I nodded, then smacked my forehead once I realized he couldn't see the gesture. "Of course."
He gave me a room number and concise directions from the cafeteria, which were easy to follow after I hung up. I found myself at door only halfway open and nearly dark inside. Jackie's full name was on the plaque by the door frame. The letters were in Sean's handwriting and done with a sharpie on the strip of white cardstock.
Within the room, Jackie was sleeping in the only bed. She was tucked under the scratchy looking blankets. I moved the arm chair in the room to sit across from the foot of the bed; I didn't want to be too close to Jackie in case she freaked out again when she woke up. The positon also made it easy for me to hop up and run straight out the door if an emergency were to occur. Before I got settled in the seat, I sought out the little canteen closet nearby and prepared a disposable pitcher with ice water and a matching cup to bring back to the room. I imagined Jackie would be thirsty upon waking.
I had advanced two levels on a game on my phone when she started to stir. My fingers quickly closed the game and shot a text to Dr. Green like he instructed me to.
She was obviously groggy; the little amount of light in the room made her squint. Her bright blonde hair was disheveled from laying down on the stiff pillow. She tried to clear her throat several times.
I automatically hopped up and poured her a glass of water, setting it on the rolling table designed to situate over the lap of the patient in the bed. I maneuvered the table toward her, keeping the handy furniture directly between us. Her hazel eyes scanned me quickly before she croaked out a 'thank you' and sipped the water.
"How old are you?" she asked me once her throat was clear. Her eyelids still drooped a little, like she still wasn't completely free from the effect of the sedative.
"Sixteen," I answered in almost a whisper.
Jackie huffed. "Figures. I was sixteen once. Sorry, by the way, for going batshit earlier."
My tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. I wasn't afraid, but I was intimidated. I did not know what to expect from her, especially since her attention was focused on me. I shook my head back and forth to reply to her apology, desperately trying to convey a 'don't worry about it,' to her.
"You're pretty for a sixteen year old. Skinny. I wasn't skinny."
She didn't look like she expected any replies from me, and with her being heavily medicated, I was more than willing to let her talk, hoping it kept her calm long enough for Dr. Green to show up and take over for me. I promised myself to not take anything she had to say personally. Sometimes people just needed to talk.
"I was pudgy at your age. Because of that, no one saw me. I was invisible in high school. You go to high school, don't you? Horrible place. Public schools. No one noticed me, but I saw everyone, and my eyes were trained on Clifford Stein. He was on the defensive line of the football team, and to me, no one was more handsome than him. So when he asked me out on a date one day, I instantly accepted. I didn't even care when I found out he did it on a dare. I was happy that he finally noticed me.
"We hooked up for one date. We did it in the back seat of his car. After that, he didn't look at me again. When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy. I told Clifford, thinking that we could start dating and raise the baby together. After his initial shock, he got mad and panicked. He said since it was his baby, he got the say in what happened to it. He told me to destroy it. He didn't want anything to do with it. He didn't even think about it long enough to suggest a coat hanger before he walked away.
"I grabbed his arm, desperate at the time. He shoved me to the ground and threatened to punch me in the stomach if I ever approached him again. I was so stupid with hormones, I still idolized him after that. I convinced myself with excuses that making the pregnancy public would jeopardize his football career and other bullshit ideas like that. I believed I couldn't even risk going to an abortion clinic and risk exposing him as the father. I was willing to sacrifice myself for his future.
"Since I was so chunky, it didn't take much to hide the belly bump. I had the baby in an abandoned house, unwrapped the cord from around its neck. It was a boy. I would have named him after Clifford. Yeah, Clifford was a douche, but every time I think about that baby, I think of him as Clifford Brown. If he was a girl, his name would have been Carol.
"My parents never found out. They're normal folks. Middle class, no nonsense people. They wouldn't have understood, so I never told them. Hell, they still don't know I had that baby. The only one to ever figure it out was my gynecologist a few years later." She pointed a manicured finger at me. "You're the only other person on this world that knows."
My heart was breaking. I didn't want to imagine the pain that accompanied the rejection she suffered. A tear escaped my eye once I realized I was now burdened with her lifelong secret.
"You probably think I'm loopy with all this rambling I'm doing, but there's a point. I promise you, there's a point to it all." Jackie sniffled and bit on the knuckles of her fist.
"Where is he now?" I asked quietly in the silence. "Clifford Brown, I mean."
She shook her head to and fro, the tangles of her blonde hair whipping around her face. "I never wanted to come back here. I made it a point to never come back here." Her motions slowed before I thought she fell back into another hysterical panic. Her voice was strong again when she continued. "It's irrational, I know, but I was always afraid I'd run into him here. What are the changes he'd still be here after all these years?"
My brows knit together in confusion. "I don't understand what you mean."
Jackie sighed heavily. "I tucked the baby into a carrier, came to this exact hospital, and left it behind a trash can. There were so many people walking around, someone was sure to find it. I didn't stay to find out. I walked away and didn't look back."
The air shifted, and I turned around just in time to see toothpaste green scrubs and a head of sandy blond curls storm out of the room.