A/N: This chapter has a lot gong on...hope you enjoy...thank you for your feedback and support!
Jason rushed through the hospital doors...he had left the Metro Court only after Sonny and Alexis had promised to stay and wait on word from Sam. Carly was at his heels...they hadn't talked, but she held his hand and let him know that she was there.
"Jason" Edward greeted warmly as Tracy walked towards the nurses station and began barking orders.
Jason smiled at his grandfather; a sad smile, "Alan?"
He watched the old man's face change...to a forlorn look, "he is in surgery...we are all just waiting"
"Will someone get me when he comes out" he asked.
For a moment Edward remembered the little boy that used to run up the stairs at that mansion...and when he looked into his eyes he saw his Lila...it was enough to cut into his soul.
"Of course son" he said patting him on the shoulder and walking off to Tracy.
After he walks back over to Carly who is sitting there wringing her hands, "hey" she says softly.
"He is in surgery...I think I am going to go to the chapel"
Just looking at him and she infers that he needs to go alone, "I need to call Leticia and check on the boys...I will meet you there, okay"
A small smile and she hugs him tightly, "thanks Car" he says slowly as he walks towards the chapel.
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Liz wandered around the hospital...thankfully her Grams had brought her a sweater and pants. She didn't know where she was going, but Patrick had promised to page her when Nikolas was out of surgery...and Audrey was waiting by the phone on any news of Lucky. She found herself talking to her baby...and then wandering to the chapel. Fate is a funny thing and she finds herself eye to eye with the father of her child.
"Jason?" she questions seeing the redness in his eyes.
"Everything okay?"
He shakes his head slowly, "Alan is in surgery"
"Oh Jason" she says and in a moment there arms are wrapped around each other.
She waited a moment to pull back...wondering if what she is going to do next will ruin what they have. A friendship that has lasted over the years...one night of passion and comfort...now a baby that she has been lying about for six months.
"Are you okay?" he asks always worried more about those he loves than himself.
It is then she feels the tears sting her eyes, "Jason...there is something I need to tell you, and this may not be the right time...but...I have to" she says slightly rambling.
He takes her arm and steers her to a pew, "what is it?"
She says a silent prayer, "this baby isn't Lucky's...it's yours"
"What" he asked his mouth suddenly dry as she watched the gamut of emotions run through his eyes.
Suddenly the emotion she had been holding back spilled forth, "I am so sorry Jason...when I got the paternity test Sonny assumed that it was Lucky's...and I let him...I just let you, and then Lucky went to rehab for this baby...but it's not fair...I'm so sorry" she said practically sobbing.
He let the gamut of emotions course through his veins...and the one that won out in the end was abject happiness.
When he turned to her she looked frightened, "I am not going to say I am not upset that you lied...but I understand"
"I'm sorry Jason...to you...to Lucky...to this baby. I want you to be a part of your child's life...I'm going to tell Lucky as soon as he is out"
For the first time in days Jason smiled, "I love this baby already...and I want it more than anything" he said reaching to touch her belly.
"When I thought this child was Lucky's I was disappointed...I wanted it to be mine...I will do whatever is in my power to protect and love him or her to the best of my ability"
The tears were flowing freely now, "I know Jason" she said putting her hand over his.
They were lost in the moment until she heard her name being paged, "I gotta go Nikolas' is out of surgery...let me know what happens with Alan, okay"
He nods the temporary happiness from the baby overshadowed now by the mortality of his father. He watches her go...and says a short prayer for his family...for the father he didn't want to lose and for the baby that had already stolen part of his heart.
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Sam had awoken to humming...to say she was confused was an understatement. Until she looked up to one handsome face carrying a tune.
"I didn't know you sang" she said quietly slowly raising her head from his lap.
He smiled again; one of those smiles that seemed to make her insides turn to mush.
"I use to...it seems like I was a different person back then"
"Why did you stop" she asks oddly innocent.
He pauses for a second seemingly lost in a moment and she clears her throat, "I didn't mean to pry" she explains.
"No...I just...it seems like a world ago"
The tears pooled in her eyes...everything before this night felt like a world ago, "is it just me or do you feel like this night changed everything?"
It was his turn to get choked up, "you know when you hold onto sand so tightly in your hand...and yet it just slips right through your fingers...have you ever done that with someone...and it turns out even worse than before?"
"Yeah...I think I do" she said sadly thinking of Jason.
He watched her get quiet, "hey, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" he said wiping a stray tear from her eye.
"No...you didn't...it's just. I think when we leave her...everything is going to be different."
"You and Jason" he asks quietly.
She nods biting her lip, "I think it is time Jason admits what is in his heart, and I begin to move on...so what are you going to do when we get out of here?"
"I want to hug Cameron so tightly...after that...I'm ready to let go and move on too...I will always love Elizabeth...but I need to set her free" he said sadly.
Sam couldn't explain the urge she had to slide next to him and bury her head in his chest...but there in the dark they held each other...they were each other's strength.
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"You're shivering" Sonny said stripping off his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders.
She rolled her eyes at him but smiled, "thank you"
A dimple peaked out, "she is going to be okay...you know that, right?"
"I just...I regret so much with her already...and now standing her...I want another chance...is that selfish?"
He shook his head slowly, "after everything you still love her and want to get to know her...I don't call that selfish...I call that unconditional love we have for our children"
"How is it that you do that?"
"What?"
A tear comes to her eye, "even when I told everyone I hated you...you were the only one who could ever make things better for me...why is that?"
"We understand each other Alexis"
That comments brings her back to a conversation long ago, "we're marked"
"Survivors" he finishes.
"You've always been my rock...even when I didn't want to have to lean on you"
He lets her have a dimple, "I am always going to be here...you can't get rid of me"
"Good"
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Jason followed Emily in who walked from the room in tears.
"Son" Alan said somewhat cheerfully for a man who had tubes running through his body.
He sat down silently and took his hand as Alan spoke, "I'm sorry Jason...sorry for wasting this time we could have had..."
Jason could feel the tears slipping from his eyes, "No...it was me too...I shut you out"
"I don't want to waste time arguing...I just want to let you know...that I love you Jason. I always have...you are my son, and I love you"
He couldn't stop the tears from making home on his cheek, "I know...I know" he broke down.
Jason looked to him again, "I am going to be a father...Elizabeth Webber...she is having my child...you are going to be a grandfather"
Alan let out a smile, "I am happy for you..."
It was then he felt him slipping away, "Alan...no...Alan" he said as his father's eyes started to shut,
Right before the heart monitors beeped a guttural cry resounded, "DAAAAAAAAAAAD!"
Carly watched as he walked out of the room...shell shocked.
In a moment she held him in her arms as he literally crumpled. He was always her rock...her savior...and tonight she vowed to be his.
"Shhhhh" she said rubbing his back and laying kisses on his head.
He held onto her for dear life...afraid to let go...
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Jax saw Carly and Jason...he watched them comfort each other...and in that moment he knew his heart would never belong to her...and he let her go. If it had been Sonny and she he would have fought...but the truth was he always knew Jason was her heart...they would talk later, but there was nothing left to say...if Jason had finally figured it out. So instead he walked towards the chapel where he heard weeping.
Emily sat there the words from her father playing in her head, "promise you will follow your dreams Em...every last one of them."
"You okay?" Jax asked walking towards her.
"No"
"Do you want to be alone?"
She looked up to him tears stains marring her usually perfect cheeks, "how am I supposed to live without the greatest man I have ever known"
Suddenly he felt akin to her and he slid on the pew, "you live your life as an honor to his memory" he said a picture of the greatest man he would ever know emblazoned on his brain.
"He told me to follow my dreams...I don't even remember what those were...you know I had these big dreams...and I just..."
Jax put his hand over hers, "sometimes...we all need a remind of what our dreams really are"
As she squeezed his hand she took his strength in, "thank you"
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Alexis and Sonny sat huddled near the barricade when they heard a scream
"Mom!" Sam said coming towards them Lucky Spencer practically attached to her hip.
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Nik's eyes fluttered open...he felt like he was floating across the air. When his eyes finally focused the most beautiful turquoise eyes shined at him.
"Now those are something I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning" he said bringing his hand to touch her chestnut hair.
Elizabeth blushed a deep crimson when she heard his statement.
"Honey, how are you feeling"
He smiled, "great...but that may be the drugs...how is Emily?"
A pang of jealousy punched her in the stomach but she shrugged it off, "Alan died tonight...she is barely holding it together"
That piece of info wasn't lost even in his state, "we should see her"
"Yeah, we will...but first you gotta rest" she said bringing the covers up to him.
"Yes Nurse Webber" he said in jest.
As she brought his blanket up he grabbed her tiny wrist in his hand, "you are so beautiful" he told her the moonlight peaking in on them.
There was an awkward silence before the door flung open and Lulu flew in.
"NIKOLAS, LIZ...Lucky...they found him, he is alive"