A/N: So I went back to chapter two and learned I wrote that there would be no character death in this. Yeah that's definitely not true with the way the trajectory is going... So, stop now, I guess.

In this chapter, we get to see even more of what happens while Rin and Haru were apart after high school, I'm really sorry that the HaruMako stuff isn't as extensive as the SeijuroRin stuff, I'm doing my best to make it as even as possible.

I'm additionally sorry because I think it's going to take me at least another chapter to catch up to the present :/.

XXX

Haruka stood after awhile, "I guess I ought to head home."

He really could hardly believe that he had followed some stranger home after trying to kill himself and he had gotten high, all in one evening. It felt rather surreal. If he closed his eyes, he was sure he could hear the screaming of the train again and see the light. That beautiful light.

But, he was high now. He was so blazed that he didn't think about that. He didn't think about it at all. He checked his watch and it was almost 10 PM. Normally that would have caused him to panic. The panic was mitigated by the high though, "Wow. It's late. Yeah, I definitely should go home."

"Mmm," Makoto nodded looking at the clock on his wall, "You gonna be okay?"

Haruka shrugged. He felt like it right now, but in the long run probably not.

Makoto sighed, "Ugh. You really are a piece of work."

The right side of Haruka's lip curved up slightly. That much was true and he knew it.

Makoto went over to his kitchen counter and grabbed a piece of paper off of a grocery list notepad. He wrote down his phone number, "Here. If it gets really bad call me."

Haruka took the number and looked at it. He said thanks, but he knew he'd never call.

Makoto sighed and put both of his hands on his head, "Alright, alright I have an idea."

"Hmm?"

"Let's get coffee every week."

"Aren't you too busy for something like that?" He was a doctor after all. Haruka was pretty busy himself of course, but he could make some time. It wasn't like he was healing the sick.

Makoto shook his head, "I'd feel a lot better if we did."

"When?" Haruka asked.

Makoto bit his lip, it was a Wednesday, "Maybe we make this a Wednesday kind of a thing?"

Haruka nodded, "I'd like that."

And then, he was gone. Makoto sighed when he left. There was something about the guy that made Makoto feel strangely protective of him. Makoto normally didn't get attached to any of his patients, not more than necessary. While Haruka may not have exactly been his patient, Makoto had saved his life. Part of him just wanted to make sure he kept on living.

XXX

After showing Rin around the office and store, Seijuro had gotten Rin drunk for the first time in his life.

"Congratulations, Rin, welcome to your new home."

He had taken Rin to a small dive bar in Shinjuku, where they played loud music that made his head ache, but the alcohol took that feeling away. He started to feel light, like if he didn't hold onto the stool, his whole body might float up and hit the ceiling.

They were home now though. Seijuro had taken him back to the apartment. Seijuro had walked nice and slowly, which Rin had appreciated, given that he could hardly stand.

When Rin looked around the apartment he was amazed. In reality, it was nothing special, it was rather plain, but it was right above the tattoo shop and it was going to be Rin's home. He was going to get to live with his hero and dedicate his life to art. Someday, if I'm really lucky, this apartment will be mine. This tattoo parlour will be mine. It will all be mine. I'll be famous enough to make enough money to let Gou study anything she wants.

"That room over there is yours," Seijuro pointed to a room on his left from the entrance, "it's been my guest room, but no one ever uses it. It should be pretty nice for you."

Rin knew he'd spend as little time as possible in his room. He'd store stuff in it, sure, but he wouldn't live there. He'd live with Seijuro.

"And that one," Seijuro pointed to the room across the hall from Rin's, "is mine."

"M-may I?" Rin asked. The door was closed and he wanted to see inside of Seijuro's room.

Seijuro nodded.

Rin opened the door, "Wowwwww, it's really nice."

He was drunk still so he leaned against the door.

"It's not that impressive, Rin," Seijuro had enough money to buy a much larger place actually, but he liked having his place directly above his tattoo parlour. His 'nicer' home was over in the countryside. Some of his patrons prefered scenery different than Tokyo, and it was also where Seijuro planned to retire. If I live long enough to appreciate such a thing. He didn't talk about this with Rin though.

"It's bigger than the apartment we had in Yokohama," Rin explained, "Gou and I shared a room, well...until…" and then Rin laughed. He was too drunk to feel his true emotions, the alcohol had made him feel so light and happy.

"Until?"

"Until I found my Dad," Rin flopped down on Seijuro's bed without even asking.

Seijuro didn't seem to mind though, "Oh? Tell me about your family. You said they were both dead?"

"Yeah," Rin's tongue was loose, and the words poured out, "my Mom died giving birth to my sister. Dad ranked up debts and killed himself during my senior year of high school."

He said it like it was ages ago, but it was only really a few months.

Seijuro's eyes widened a bit, but Rin didn't notice. He was staring at the ceiling. His voice got a bit more serious, "I found him. It was awful," he leaned his head over and looked at Seijuro.

"I'm sorry," Seijuro was surprisingly sympathetic.

Rin shrugged and sat up, "I'm over it. You can't be a real artist without some kind of tragedy, right?"

Seijuro laughed a bit. He's such a strange kid, "So, tell me about the guy you've been with?"

"Oh that," Rin stuck his tongue out, "that really fucking sucked. Probably more than my Dad in a way."

Seijuro raised his brow.

Rin sighed, "Well, no, I guess I don't mean that. I mean I don't know. Like, he - Nanase Haruka came up to me on the last day of school. I like didn't even know who he was, but he was all 'Rin, I love you, and you're awesome' and I took him into the art room at our school cause he said he liked my art and no one had ever said that to me and meant it. I mean I believed him I really did. So I let him fuck me and he said he loved me again and again."

Rin paused for a minute.

"And?" Seijuro asked.

"And that's it. Well, I was stupid you know. I told him I loved him too. In that moment, I think I really did. I don't anymore though, I don't love anyone. It's stupid to. I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's stupid, really. I'm stupid. I called him for weeks. He never answered. I tried going over to his house, but no one was there ever. No one answered. I don't even know why I bothered. It was probably a prank."

"A prank?"

"Oh yeah, I got bullied a lot in high school," Rin didn't know why he was saying any of this, but he felt oddly warm and comfortable, "he probably like didn't know how to handle his sexuality or something, and he like thought it would be fun to fuck me and then, drop me."

Seijuro bit his lip.

"Anyway, I'm getting really sleepy, but if you want, we can."

"After that story?"

"Yeah, I mean, my body belongs to you now," the way he said it lacked any sort of eroticism to it. It was simply something he had accepted. Rin didn't care what happened to himself. He wanted to perform his art, he wanted to make money for Gou, and as for anything else, it just didn't matter.

Seijuro laid down next to him and patted him on the head, "In a way, yeah, it is, but I'm not going to fuck you while you're drunk for the first time. That sounds pretty awful, especially after that story."

Rin looked at him strangely, unable to really comprehend why it mattered. It's just sex, whatever.

"Come here," Seijuro commanded with both his arms open. He had slipped under the covers.

Rin did the same and allowed himself to enter the embrace. This is nice, he thought, "you're really warm, Mikoshiba-sama."

Seijuro kissed Rin's forehead, "Good night, kid."

XXX

"There's a guy I think I should tell you about," Haruka announced to Nagisa while they were eating dinner.

The two of them ate almost every single night together. Tonight, they were having fried chicken, which Nagisa had made using the fryer and they were also eating some vegetables which Haruka had prepared as a side.

Nagisa looked up from his fork, "What?"

Haruka sighed, it was Tuesday night. Almost one week since he had actually met Makoto, and one day before he would be meeting Makoto for coffee for the first time. The reason that Haruka hadn't told Nagisa about Makoto sooner was that the circumstances of Haruka meeting him would upset Nagisa. Haruka knew this from past experience.

"I'm going to see him for coffee tomorrow," Haruka pushed some potatoes onto his fork with his knife.

"Coffee?" Nagisa asked, trying to push his quiet friend for more information.

Haruka nodded and pushed his fork down into the mashed potatoes making them squeeze through the little prongs, "Yes, coffee."

"Who is this guy? How'd you meet him?" Nagisa had to ask. Haruka never really went out. The two of them went to work and came home. They occasionally met up with people from college or did work dinners. Nagisa had some other friends who he practically dragged Haruka to meet, but it always went sour. Haruka never had a good time and Nagisa's friends didn't really understand why Nagisa brought Haruka along.

"I met him at the train station," Haruka stared at the potatoes. He didn't dare make eye contact with Nagisa.

Nagisa's eyes narrowed at him, with minor seriousness, the blonde said, "Haruka…"

"He's a doctor. He saved my life...I almost…" Haruka opted for putting the potatoes in his mouth at that second.

Nagisa sighed. It was his turn to look at his plate, this time, he repeated his friend's name with concern, "Haruka…"

Haruka gave Nagisa a weak smile, then he went back to his potatoes. The rest came out quite quickly, "Anyway, he took me to his apartment last Wednesday and I smoked pot with him, and now we're going to coffee."

"What? I remember you coming home late Wednesday, but I thought you were at work...we had that big presentation on Thursday," Nagisa never knew how to handle his best friend's problem. Nagisa knew well enough to know that if he pushed Haruka too hard, Haruka would shut him out entirely, but if he didn't push Haruka at all about these things, then Nagisa worried endlessly.

"Oh yeah, I finished that like thr-four weeks ago."

Haruka was always ahead of everyone else.

Nagisa sighed, then he replayed what Haruka said in his head, "Wait. You smoked pot?"

Haruka nodded, "It was…" He pulled at some of the skin on the chicken, "different. I'm not addicted or anything, but I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again."

Nagisa nearly dropped his fork, "So, you like this guy?"

Haruka shrugged, "Not particularly. I don't dislike him. He's...a little different though. He treated me differently than anyone else. He was concerned about me, but not suffocatingly so. It was nice. I stayed much longer than I expected."

Nagisa let out another sigh. It was hard to be friends with Haruka sometimes. Haruka was so disconnected from the world. Nagisa's biggest fear was that one day he would come home and Haruka would have successfully left this world. But, at the same time, he had his own life, his own responsibilities. He couldn't protect Haruka 24/7. Sometimes, he just had to let go and hope for the best. Thus far, things had been okay. Recently, things had been even better for Haruka, "So, you're meeting this doctor guy for coffee?"

Haruka nodded, "Tomorrow."

Nagisa took a bite of his dinner, he was feeling oddly full now, "Be careful, Haruka."

"I will be."

XXX

"Morning, kid," the sun from the window outside Seijuro's bedroom lit up the entire room. It seemed as though his bedroom was strategically placed in the part of Tokyo that managed to get the most sunlight.

Rin groaned. His head pounded. Badump. Bump. Bump. He placed a hand on his head to try to ease some of the pain, but nothing changed. Even with his eyes tightly shut, the light streamed in and it was some bright.

"I think I'm going to throw up," Rin moaned.

"Not in here, you aren't. Go to the bathroom, if you really mean that," Seijuro answered.

Rin just moaned in response, "I don't remember much of last night."

"I remember all of it, kid," Seijuro smirked, "I learned a lot about you last night."

"Ugh…"

"Oh by the way, your phone has been buzzing for the last hour," Seijuro commented pointing to it. He had plugged it in for the younger redhead.

"Probably my sister. We're supposed to meet up today to celebrate me getting to work for you."

Seijuro smiled, "You can have the morning off then. I expect to see you back here this afternoon and ready to do some serious bitch work."

Rin allowed his eyes to open fully. They felt like they had to unglue, and he was sure he wouldn't make it until this afternoon. His body ached, but only from general physical exhaustion it seemed. Still, he didn't remember last night well enough to know for sure, "Did we?"

Seijuro leaned over and kissed the younger man on the forehead, "No. I want our first time together to be passionate, and I want you to be sober."

Rin looked at the older man above him and he felt his face get hot. He was so happy to be here. Last night, Seijuro had shown him all around his office, all around the store. Rin had learned so much. He had gotten drunk for the first time with this man and surely embarrassed himself, and yet, still, he was felt so lucky. It's almost too good to be true, Rin thought, but he believed for this minute, this moment, I'm safe. This man will take care of me.

Then, he felt he stomach turn, and he raced to the bathroom.

XXX

Some days, just being alive seemed like a victory enough to Haruka. He considered himself proud for simply getting out of bed. That's the hard thing to explain about his condition to people who have never felt true depression. This was especially hard to explain to people who looked at Haruka's surface persona. Look at everything you've done. Look how amazing you are. You went to Todai, and graduated early with top honors, what do you have to be depressed about? If you're depressed, Haruka, what does that say for the rest of us?

Haruka thought about these things anytime he wasn't distracted. Sometimes, he was able to immerse himself in his work, and he went a short time without thinking such things. Other days, he couldn't even focus on the most minor of tasks. Other days, the pain of being alive was all he could think about. And those days, the fact that he couldn't focus only made his self-loathing worse.

Haruka walked to the Mister Donuts. It was an odd place to meet for coffee, but Makoto seemed to really like it. For someone as successful as he was, he was oddly childish in a way, but not like Nagisa. Everyone expected childishness from Nagisa and loved Nagisa for it. Childish was the wrong word for Makoto, Haruka decided. Makoto was carefree. If he wanted to smoke pot, he'd do it. If he wanted to eat donuts, he'd eat them. And so, of course Makoto would pick a Mister Donuts for their first meetup.

Haruka stepped inside. Makoto was already there, and had already bought food for himself and for Haruka. He motioned for Haruka to join him.

"Sit," Makoto commanded, pointing to the seat across from him.

Haruka obeyed. Makoto had bought them quite the feast. He bought each of them fresh squeezed orange juice, coffees, and two donuts a piece. One was chocolate covered chocolate, and the other was oreo covered chocolate. For himself, Makoto had bought a strawberry covered chocolate donut, and a chocolate covered vanilla donut, "We can split half-half I thought and try a bit of each."

"Y-you didn't have to."

"Now, you have to treat the next time, Haruka," Makoto explained, breaking the donuts in half.

Haruka smiled, "You got drinks and everything."

"I love the fresh squeezed orange juice here. The best fresh squeezed orange juice in the world comes from either California or Florida, but for some reason, in Tokyo, Mister Donuts seems to do a pretty good job too. We just don't quite get the same scale as Americans. Have you ever been to America?" Makoto asked.

Haruka nodded, "Only for business though. I've been to New York."

Makoto turned up his nose, "New York has terrible orange juice. It's like Tokyo, you can get it fresh squeezed in certain places, but that's it."

It was on oddly unimportant conversation to be having with someone who had saved his life, Haruka decided. But, there was something refreshing about that.

Haruka sipped the orange juice through the straw.

"New York has great Hot Chocolate though, and it's not that expensive," Haruka remarked. You can almost never find good hot chocolate in Tokyo.

"You'd never believe the one place here I found excellent hot chocolate," Makoto laughed.

Haruka raised his brows.

"The Ghibli museum."

Haruka burst out laughing. It was a genuine laugh, something he didn't do often. Something about Makoto's sincerity, his softness, and his strangeness was new and nice for Haruka. Haruka guessed that part of it had to do with being half-Japanese. As a result, Makoto got to travel more to America, and so, of course, he was different than the typical Japanese. Rin was half, Haruka reminded himself, and Rin was completely unique as well. I'm nothing. Nobody special. Boring. One person in a society with millions exactly like me.

The reason Makoto had made Haruka laugh so hard was that the Ghibli museum was frequented by tourists and school children. It was where you could visit Miyazaki's studio and see other things referenced in his movies. They had a giant catbus from the Totoro film for children to climb on. They usually played a clip from a movie not yet out in their theater.

"It's true," Makoto took a bite of the donuts, "Really. They have pretty good cakes there too. I'm sure you wouldn't believe me, saying this having taken you to a donut place, but I don't have much of a sweet tooth. I just like going around and seeing different places. We should find a hot chocolate place in Tokyo. We could make that our mission."

"Maybe Starbucks?" It was American after all.

Makoto turned up his lip, "Have you ever even been to a Starbucks?"

Haruka laughed, "Okay, maybe not at a Starbucks then."

Makoto smiled. They continued to eat the cookies and drink the coffee, "So how was your weekend?"

Haruka shrugged, "Did you do anything exciting?"

"I took the train out to Nikko. On the way out, they put me on the most expensive fast paced bullet, but for some reason on the way back when I went to buy my ticket, the girl decided that I was a student and needed the cheapest possible ticket, so it took like 4 hours to get home," Makoto smiled.

"Why didn't you tell her otherwise?" Haruka asked.

Makoto shrugged, "I don't care much for the Shinkansen. I like seeing places out the window, not blurs. Sometimes you find new places you want to go in the future, when you ride slow trains."

"You're weird. Wouldn't you just want to get home at the end of a vacation?"

Makoto shrugged.

"You were high, weren't you?"

Makoto smiled, "Maybe a little."

"Why'd you go to Nikko?" Haruka asked. It was the second tourist location they were bringing up.

"I like travelling around Japan. It's weird I know, but I especially like Nikko. It's so peaceful and in the middle of fall, it is the perfect place to take photos of Japanese maples."

"You like photography?" Haruka wondered if Makoto was an artist in his spare time, like Rin. I seem to attract that type.

But, Makoto shrugged, "Not especially. I just think it's amazing that we can capture moments that way. Even when we're long gone, as long as we have a memory card, our photos will probably still be here. It's amazing how we can capture history today. Life goes by in a flash Haruka, I just want to hold onto as much as I can."

This is why I like this guy, Haruka thought. He seems so simple, going along, talking about orange juice and then, just like that, he can say something that cuts straight to my core. But...It's also a bit scary, "I...I should go back to work."

They were mostly done with their coffee any way.

Makoto looked at his watch, "Ah yeah, I have an appointment with a patient about...haha five minutes ago."

Haruka started to stand up. He stepped out and pushed his chair in. Then, he said, "Thank you for the food."

Makoto shrugged. It was really no big deal.

Haruka headed for the door, bussing his tray quickly. Then, he stopped and came back, "I'd like it if we did this again."

"Me too."

XXX

On his way to Seijuro's apartment, after his brunch with his sister, Rin thought about all the different ways to earn cash fast. He thought about going to some kind of club and trying to sell his body. What did it matter to him? He didn't care what happened to his body anymore. Haruka had already taken any care he had for that all away.

Unfortunately, he remembered, he had already sold his body. Well, he thought, time to collect.

When Rin got home to Seijuro's apartment, he knocked on the door to Seijuro's room.

"What is it?" Seijuro asked.

"I need some money," Rin's face fell. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to beg. He especially didn't want this considering how much Seijuro was already giving him. It was only yesterday that Seijuro had agreed to his training. But, he had to. It was for Gou. She wanted to go on that trip and he knew it would make her so happy. He just wanted her to be happy.

Seijuro raised a brow, "What for?"

"For my sister."

"How much?"

"A lot."

"Can you be a bit more specific?" Seijuro asked.

"Six thousand dollars," Rin stared at the ground, "I...I'll do anything for it. I'll clean the shop more, I'll...I'll fuck you for it, whatever you want. You can sell me on the street for all I care, I just...I need it."

Seijuro raised his brows, "Jesus christ, I'm not going to sell you on the street. You're mine, Rin. I've told you that. What does she want the money for? I thought you said her school was taken care of?"

"They're doing some trip to Italy or something. She's real good at school. Not like me. I always just focused on drawing and making it through to the next day, but she's smart, and she wants to go on this trip with some teacher of hers," Rin poured everything out to Seijuro. There was no reason not to, he'd already told him everything, "Just whatever you can give me, I'll take. I...I'll figure out some way to get the rest."

"By selling yourself on the street?"

"If that's what it takes."

"You'd really do anything for her, hmm? Must be a special sister."

"She just…" She didn't even tell me about it. She didn't believe I could figure it out. That was why he wanted this. That was the real reason. Gou didn't believe in him. And why should she? He was barely able to take care of himself. He didn't dare say that to Seijuro though, "Look I don't care. I've already sold myself to you for art and food and everything, and I don't have anything else to offer you, I know that. But, someday, when you've trained me, I promise I'll pay you back," Rin fought back tears.

Seijuro was a bit unsure about this. On the one hand, it wasn't the money that bothered him, but it was the principle of it. He'd only taken the kid on yesterday. Six grand was a lot of money to a teenager. If he agreed to this, the kid would probably beg him for more. He had no issue with money really, but he didn't want Rin to get greedy. He is practically a stranger still.

"No," Seijuro said, his voice was firm, "After you've worked for me for a while, you'll have your own money. I'm already paying you more than most people your age could dream of. A six thousand dollar loan is simply too much."

Rin hadn't expected it to go any different. He turned grumpily and went to his room. He closed the door and collapsed on the bed in there. He knew that he should have been sleeping in Seijuro's bed and he should have been happy to be there, but there was no way in hell he wanted to be by him right now.

Seijuro sighed. He looked at his computer. What was six grand anyway? A drop in the bucket, he thought. He decided to look up Rin's sister.

The only thing Rin could imagine when he got to his room was his sister's face when talking about her classes and about that trip.

He thought about his art. What does it matter, anyway? I can just go back and work in the cafe. If she goes on this, then maybe that teacher'll take extra care of her in the future. That school'll be impressed and give her a bigger scholarship. What does my life even matter? She's the one with hopes and dreams.

I don't have anything or anyone anyway.

He had an idea. He had seen it when Seijuro had shown him his office and shown him where he stored the needles and the rest of his supplies last night before Seijuro had taken him out. There was a safe down there that Seijuro left unlocked.

He had a plan.

XXX