authors note: sorry for the delays! Its been such a busy semester! I planned on having this chapter up by Christmas but alas, i got the flu. But fear not, since I am living in seclusion for the remainder of break, prepare for me to redeem myself! xoxoxo

Alas, the mugs were emptied, the sun was setting, and Fred and George had to be getting back to the shop. And so we stumbled into the cold, warmed from the inside from the butterbeer (and a wee bit of mulled mead.) I bid them adieu until Christmas, and with the loudest of cracks they were gone. I hiccupped.

Shoving my hands deep into the pocket of my jacket, I began weaving my way back up to Hogwarts castle.

"Psssst!" hissed a voice from my left.

I whirled in the direction of the disturbance, hiccupping again and nearly losing my balance.

"Jill my dear, is that you?" I squinted, "Why on earth are you dressed like that?"

"Shhh!" she hushed abruptly, yanking my arm close enough to whisper. She was wearing a heavy grey cloak, a scarf that covered up to her nose, and a pair of oversized sunglasses. She looked rather like professor Trelawney, if the professor was an Inuit. "I have to buy something in secret. You need to come with me, I don't know what I'm doing."

She halted, leaned a bit closer, and sniffed.

"Have you been drinking?" she asked, astonished.

"I decided today that I rather like mead. It's very meady. Meadyyyyy." I giggled. "I think you needy some meady."

Jill smirked but shook her head.

"Later, come on!"

And off we walked. I must admit that even in my meady state, a prickling sense of naughtiness filled me. If Jill was purchasing something in disguise, it must be something awful.

It might even be in Knockturn Alley.

... Should I be disguised as well?

I pulled my scarlet and gold scarf higher over my head. I hiccupped into it and giggling ensued.

"For Merlin's sake, pull yourself together. It's in here." Jill whispered.

My mouth fell open, and I drooled on my scarf. To my astonishment, we were not in Knockturn Alley at all. We had stopped in front of Zonko's joke shop.

"Were going in there?" I asked, fidgeting a bit. It didn't feel right buying from a different joke shop. I felt as if a disguise was even more imperative.

"Yes. Come on, please!" hissed Jill as she heaved open the door.

I sighed, and entered the shop.

It was the same as it always had been, Zonkos. I guess even in the darkest times, everyone could always use a laugh.

Jill did not remove her hood or sunglasses, but pulled her scarf down so she could breathe.

"We need... To find...Oh... " Jill's voice trailed off as she slid past me and into the aisles of goodies.

In my stupor I found that I was much more entertained by the nose biting teacups.

After sustaining a hefty bite that penetrated the numbness of my meady nose, I went in search of Jill.

She was not near the sugar quills or the dung bombs or the fanged frisbees.

She had to be around there somewhere. Right?

She came in there with me, right?

Right?

I whirled around and heaved a sigh of relief when I saw the black hooded mass that was Jill.

"There you are, you ickle creepy- creep!" I giggled.

Jill raised an eyebrow at me, and then exposed what she was holding under her arm:

One vial of WonderWitch brand love potion, and one satchel of Cupid Crystals.

For the second time in one evening, my jaw dropped open of it's own accord.

(Note to self: no more mead.)

"Jillian. Diamond. Thimbleword." I grunted, my voice so low that it sounded rather menacing. Jill froze, and I could tell that she was immensely embarassed. I think she was under the impression that I was scrutinizing her for sinking too low. So I continued, "I am insulted. You are mocking me. Please tell me you are not going to buy THAT rubbish!" I took the vials from her hands and shoved them on a random shelf.

"No, no, no Jillian, you will NOT sink that low. Not if I have anything to do with it."

Jill hung her head, until it was obscured by her overlarge hood.

"No. We are doing this from scratch!" I proclaimed, waving my finger in the air.

Jill's neck snapped upwards and a grin that was a mile- wide appeared on her face.

"Come along, we have mischief to make. I am fresh out of powdered moonstone." I said, as I turned to storm out of Zonko's. Jill followed in close persuit, her cloak billowing wildly behind her.

The Ashwinder eggs were thawing.

Jill was carefully plucking the thorns off of the roses we'd scooped up from the greenhouse.

I was sipping my coffee delicately, and trying to ignore the pounding headache that was brutalizing my brain.

And there, amid the cobbwebbery and dust of the closet in the dungeons, my magnificent specimen of Amortentia was bubbling away contentedly. Not quite finished, but the steam had already begun to emit itself in curling spirals.

"We could get in a lot of trouble, you know." Jill muttered, either to herself or me.

Hoping for the latter, I replied: "Relax. The only person who ever used this closet was Snape, and he hasn't used it in about a hundred years."

Jill looked around at the undisturbed filth and, satisfied, went back to plucking the thorns.

"Just a few more minutes and we can add the eggs. Oh, and where's that peppermint?"

I ceased stirring the cauldron and pawed through my stores.

"Aha!" I exclaimed, pulling out a red and white striped dandy of a peppermint. Similar to the kind seen on restaurant counters and coffee tables.

"You're joking."

I winked at her and plopped it into the cauldron.

"Peppermint is peppermint." As I spoke, the mixture began to lighten into a lovely lavender color.

Jill shrugged, indicating that I was the boss, and swept up her pile of thorns.

"Shall I add these?" she asked.

"Yes, two at a time, be sure!" I said, flicking my wand and causing the potion to be stirred in a counter clockwise motion.

Jill did as I instructed and then added the Ashwinder eggs. Immediately the lavender mixture began to swirl and shimmer into the most perfect shade of opal.

I smiled and leaned over to take a nice big whiff.

"Ahhhh." I breathed, overcome with pleasure. Amortentia smells differently to each person, depending on what attracts them. The sweet aroma of my parent's lilac bush gave way to the tangy smell of a midsummer peach. With one final whiff I detected the very particular smell of Fred. A bit of soap, the smoke of a lit fuse, and a little hint of something else unnameable. The smell of his very skin, perhaps.

Jill smirked herself, a dreamy look coming over her face.

"I smell christmas trees." She sighed, twirling a piece of her glassy hair, "And Dumbledore... And...Oh, what is that?" Jill breathed deeper, "Its like earth. But so much more..." She leaned so close her nose almost touched the potion, "Is that a hint of dragon leather gloves?"

I waved her away from the cauldron, lest she attempt to taste it or something, and popped the cork off of a flask I had fished out of my stores.

With a flick of the wrist, my wand conducted a silvery stream of the potion neatly into the flask, where it pooled like a liquid dream.

"Now, just add a few drops of this into anything Malfoy might ingest. Pumpkin juice, bicuits, ferret pellets..." I paused to pop the cork back into the phial. As I held it up and watched it glimmer, I was so proud that a vein of anger seemed to swell in my temple.

"WHY AM I NOT IN THE SLUG CLUB?" I shrieked, dropping the phial and burying my face in my hands.

Jill managed to catch the flask, and immediately hid it in her pocket, to avoid a disaster.

"There, there." She said, patting my shoulder, "What do you want to be in the Slug Club for anyway? It's just a load of bum kissing. He's throwing some dumb Christmas party, as if we don't have anything better to do with our lives than listen to that old fool try to worm his way into the spotlight..."

My eyes grew wide.

"WHAT? CHRISTMAS PARTY?"

I clenched my fists. This was the last straw.

I wouldn't stand for this snubbing any longer. I would take matters into my own cauldron.

And there, in the dingy old closet, a new club was born:

The Snape Club.