AN: Hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Please review to let me know what you think. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, it means a lot!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

I woke up the next morning feeling abysmal.

After fleeing from him last night I'd sat alone in one of the spare classrooms in the dungeons so no one would question why I was back from patrolling so early – especially looking a teary-eyed mess. When I'd finally gone back to the common room, I was relieved to find it mostly empty. I waved to the few sixth and seventh year boys still lounging about but went directly down to my dormitory.

The girls were discussing Persephone's plans for her seventeenth birthday, which wasn't until the start of November. My entrance had caused them to awkwardly dither in their conversation, and so I quickly retreated to the bathroom. I decided to take my time getting ready for bed in the hopes that when I returned to the dormitory the girls would already be in bed.

Fortunately they were.

Unfortunately, I didn't sleep a wink.

I couldn't stop repeating his words in my head.

You disgust me. You disgust me. You disgust me.

Even though we hadn't been friends for years now, I realised that I still saw him as my best friend... the cute little boy who once cried when he accidentally blew up a slug; the awkward child who had accidentally set my Hogwarts letter on fire in excitement.

Then I realised that I was no longer the little girl who had eagerly tried to scrape the slug back together, waving a twig around trying to fix it to stop the little boy's tears. I wasn't the playful girl who had dumped a pitcher of pumpkin juice on his head for burning my Hogwarts letter.

He wasn't the sweet, young boy I thought he was; I wasn't the cold, prejudiced young woman he thought I was.

But who was I?

I was Anastasia Dearborn. Just a Slytherin student with average grades and a well-connected family.

I mulled over what James had said again, and I found myself reminded of what Rosier had said. Rosier had joked about my skill in potions, or lack of, but had stated that it didn't matter. He was right. Nobody on the Wizengamot would care if I could brew the Draught of Living Death, or transfigure my arm into a cabbage.

All I needed to understand was politics.

And until that very moment I had considered myself capable of that. I had honestly believed that I understood politics and public relations, yet I hadn't let myself see my best friend slip away from me. I also hadn't noticed that the girls I shared a dormitory with tended to spend a lot of time without me.

And so I decided to start my second week of sixth year with a fresh attitude. I was done with Potter. He'd clearly given up on me a long time ago, which was embarrassing to admit, and I needed to stop letting him bring me down.

Although I wasn't rushing to face the new day, I was ready for breakfast before even Helene had finished in the bathroom, and so I went up to the Great Hall on my own. Although I knew I needed to make the effort to start building stronger bridges with my dorm mates, I just couldn't face waiting in the dormitory for them.

After composing my nerves outside the heavy doors, I sneaked what I hoped was a surreptitious glance at the Gryffindor table only to find it empty with the exception of a few seventh years. With a sigh of relief I turned my eye more confidently to the Slytherin table. I spied Eugenia Greengrass sat on her own leafing through a sheaf of papers, and sat down opposite her, reaching for the pot of tea.

"Good morning," I greeted with what I hoped was a relaxed smile.

The Head Girl glanced up and smiled at me indulgently, "Ana, good morning to you too! Alas, mine would be better if Longbottom hadn't left me to work out the new Prefect rota now that Houses have finalised their Quidditch schedules." She threw a dark look over my shoulder to the Gryffindor table; I didn't turn to follow her stare.

"Is there anything I could do to help?" I asked, thinking that it could never hurt to be seen helping the Head Girl in her role.

"Actually, there is," Eugenia smiled gratefully, rifling through the rolls of parchment. "Could you find out if any of the Ravenclaw Prefects are on their Quidditch team this year, Longbottom neglected to include those details!"

She passed me a list and I scanned it curiously, stirring a sugar cube into my tea.

"Hmm, I know that neither Emmeline Vance nor Edgar Bones in my year are. Rhona Pankhurst of your year is though. Remember, she missed lessons for weeks after that bludger accident last year?"

Eugenia trilled with laughter, "Oh yes, how could I forget that, she had to wear a wig over her bandaged skull for weeks! Merlin, I'm surprised she still plays though…"

"As for the others, I'll try and catch up with them today and let you know."

"Thanks Ana. I'll be sure to let Slughorn know what a big help you are as well," she winked, before returning to her lists and charts.

I smiled at her before taking a sip of tea.

Potions was uncomfortable.

I steadfastly ignored the Marauders, which was easy because they seemed to be ignoring my existence too.

Evans, however, was most definitely not ignoring my existence. She kept shooting me furtive glances, wearing a small frown. Perhaps she was waiting for me to have a public breakdown and throw my potion all over Potter's messy hair… actually, I considered, she was probably hoping for that outcome.

Since Snape spent our lessons watching Evans for the most part, I knew he'd noticed the attention I was receiving from her.

"Why is Lily staring at you?" Snape enquired. Merlin, where was his Slytherin subtlety?

"Maybe she's wondering how I get my hair to look so shiny," I quipped, dramatically flicking my hair over my shoulder with a smirk.

Snape scowled darkly and muttered something that sounded like 'waste of blood'. I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to taking notes on the effects of adding fairy wings to whatever potion this was sat in my cauldron.

"Your potion isn't supposed to fizz with the addition of fairy wings."

"Do you think I don't know that?" I snapped at the greasy haired boy beside me, drawing the attention of Rosier and Avery in front of us.

Rosier raised an eyebrow at me inquisitively. Merlin, I'd almost forgotton about our little chat. I forced a quick smile at him, shrugged apologetically to Avery and turned back to Snape.

"What are fairy wings supposed to have the effect of then?" I asked, gritting my teeth and swallowing my pride.

Snape scowled at me, again. That boy sure had a lot of pent up anger.

"Why does Lily keep staring at you?" he countered, and I couldn't help but laugh quite heartily. Unfortunately this drew the attention of the whole class, apart from Slughorn who steadfastly pretended not to notice my interruption.

Snape himself looked entirely bewildered by my response. There was something else in his eyes though too. Holy hippogriffs, I'm pretty sure that was concern in his eyes!

Wait, no – it wasn't concern for me, I realised. Of course, he was concerned for Evans. Sweet Circe, what is it about that girl?

"She's actually nice," Snape interrupted. Merlin, had I said that last bit out loud?

"You know," he continued, "she's patient, and thoughtful. Always considerate of other people, but passionate about what she believes in. She'll always defend a friend."

"Apart from you," I so considerately reminded him.

"You heard her last week… I'm no longer her friend."

I had nothing to say to that, so instead I watched the poor boy turn back to his potions book and scribble something in the margin.

Slughorn chose this moment to become interested in the class again. He made his way straight to our desk, clapping Snape on the back amicably.

"Excellent insight there, Severus! Perhaps for your coursework you could further investigate the ways to neutralise asphodel's less stable effects?"

"Yes, perhaps sir. It's definitely something to think about."

Unfortunately Slughorn then looked at my work. I awkwardly played with the feather of my quill, pretending to straighten it out, pointedly not making eye contact.

"Oh, Miss Dearborn," he started, stretching out my name, "not to despair dear. Not everyone can have the natural fortitude for potions."

I graced him with a fleeting smile, ignoring a couple of snickers from my classmates.

"Of course not, professor! Why, if they did then we wouldn't hold potions Masters such as yourself in such high esteem now, would we?" I simpered.

"Oh ho, dear!" he beamed, "you're quite right I suppose! I suppose my thanks are in order then, for keeping me in a job!"

"It's my pleasure, professor."

Slughorn then patted me on the head. He patted me on the head. Gritting my teeth, I tried to keep my expression respectful.

"Now then, would you two," the pot-bellied professor nodded at Snape and myself, "do me the honour of joining me on Friday night? Having a bit of a 'welcome back' dinner, nothing fancy you know, but I thought it might be nice for you all to get back together, get to know a couple of the younger students I've spied out and everything…" he trailed off conspiringly before lowering his voice to a dramatic stage whisper.

"I can assure you both now that there are big plans in the works for Halloween!" He took a step back, beaming expectantly at us both.

"Professor, I would love to! It's just…" I lowered my voice and glanced around the room, before leaning into Slughorn as if divulging a secret. "We're scheduled in for prefect duties on Friday evening." I shrugged helplessly, watching Slughorn's smile drop from his face with a quick glance between Snape and I.

"Ahem, well naturally dear, naturally… but you know, I actually have both Mr Longbottom and Miss Greengrass in potions this afternoon. I think you'll both find yourselves able to attend on Friday."

He winked at me, before turning away to select his other prize students.

Feeling somewhat satisfied with my work, I turned to my textbook, deciding to actually try and work out the properties of fairy wings before the end of the lesson.

"You didn't have to get me out of prefect duties too," I heard Snape mutter.

I flicked through a couple of pages absently, "No? So you'd rather be out on patrol than at a dinner where the illustrious Miss Evans will most definitely be isolated from her Gryffindor pals?"

I met Snape's eye, and offered him a small smile. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my textbook roughly, turning to page 117 and setting it before me. He quickly turned back to his own notes again.

I dipped my quill into my inkpot and started summarising the entry in the textbook, focusing on the sound of my quill scratching on my parchment.

Once I had finished, I chanced a look around the room and briefly met Lily Evans' eye. She flashed me a small, awkward smile and I sighed.

"She witnessed… an altercation."

"Excuse me?" Snape replied, confusion seeping into his tone.

"Evans," I snapped. He rolled his eyes in exasperation and I reluctantly elaborated.

"Last night we had rounds together. We bumped into the Morons… Ja- Potter – said something to me. Merlin… it's rather embarrassing you know, that she witnessed it. As if it wasn't bad enough. But I don't really know why she's staring at me."

Snape had watched me carefully as I spoke, before turning his gaze to the girl in question.

"Knowing Lily… she's probably slightly embarrassed herself that she witnessed something personal. Probably feels really bad about it too," he broke out into a smile. "And if Potter said something truly nasty, she'll be furious at him! Fantastic, yeah, she won't talk to him for weeks if she witnessed him tear into you!"

His joy was palpable, so I coughed, hoping to remind him that I was the girl that had been torn into, as he so graciously described it.

His eyes flicked back to me, and he blushed slightly. "Right, sorry Dearborn…"

"It's fine, let's just go back to our work."

I had beaten my dorm mates to the Great Hall for lunch. I tried to remember what lessons they all had, but realised I'd never paid all that much attention to their schedules. Making a mental note to rectify that later, I helped myself to a steaming bowl of vegetable soup and watched the Great Hall fill up around me.

Before long, I was joined by my thoroughly disgruntled and slightly charred dorm mates. I raised my brow in question.

"Professor Sprout is crazy!" Mina spat, sitting down opposite me before attacking a plate of sandwiches. Well at least now I knew they had Herbology on Mondays.

I reached across the table and flicked her ponytail, "you have dirt, right here, you know."

This possibly wasn't the wisest thing to point out, as she started sputtering incoherently, fumbling her wand with her cold hands.

Persephone had slipped into the seat beside her, and far more composed, flicked a quick scourgify to clean her friend's hair.

"Thanks Sephi," Mina sighed.

I turned to Helene, who was sat beside me.

"What exactly did Professor Sprout have you doing?" I enquired, taking a dainty sip of my soup.

"Repotting venomous tentacula shoots. Sounds simple enough, right? Ugh, she failed to mention that the adults would sense their presence and complete freak out. I swear that was almost as troublesome as Professor Kettleburn's classes!"

"Surely not that bad?" I laughed, glancing towards the staff table where Professor Kettleburn was showing off his amputated ring finger to a somewhat unsettled Professor Lumin. All accounts seemed to concur that he'd lost it to a niffler of all things after forgetting to take off his ring when dealing with one.

Persephone grimaced, "Unfortunately, it might have been that bad."

After lunch we all headed to our Charms class, chatting along the way.

"Hey, Ana, what did Rosier want last night?" Mina asked suggestively, piquing the interest of Persephone and Helene.

My lips twitched, but it was mostly from holding back a frown.

"He just wanted a chat, nothing terribly interesting."

Persephone scoffed. "Then why did he need to talk to you alone?"

I shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine, I'm sure."

"I think he likes you," Helene offered. I opened my mouth to respond, but saw Persephone's face darken and Mina throw Helene a meaningful, yet fleeting, glare.

I affected a secretive tone, "Oh girls, I can assure you it's not me that he likes."

I knew my face wouldn't betray the slight lie. Granted I didn't know for sure that he did like me, but it was somewhat far-fetched of me to suggest he definitely didn't, and that in fact I knew that he liked one of them.

However, I did catch the suspicion on Persephone's face. I did catch the way Mina squeezed her arm slightly in comfort.

Fortunately before any of them could harass me as to my meaning, we stepped round the corner to find the rest of our charms class already waiting outside the door, including Rosier.

Professor Flitwick called us in, and I settled into my seat at a table with the other three girls, purposefully not looking in Rosier's direction.

Professor Flitwick had us practicing our non-verbal wandwork, as he insisted this would be an integral foundation to set for all NEWT work. Embarrassingly enough we were supposed to be practicing levitating feathers, a first year task, and yet halfway through the class, the only floating feathers had been preceded by whispered incantations.

In the heavy silence, and my lack of success nonverbally casting Wingardium Leviosa my thoughts turned to Rosier's veiled warning.

I suppose it was a semi-fortunate coincidence that his warning was followed by Potter's outburst. That combination had certainly helped me decide to more explicitly demonstrate my loyalties. The only problem was, I was already lying to the girls I needed to trust me. Frustrated by this predicament, I cursed Rosier in my head.

I needed a plan.

I needed something that would prove to everyone in Slytherin that I was to be trusted. They needed to think of me only as a friend; not as a target, or a risk; and definitely not as someone they could enlist to the cause.

I needed something that would balance everything out again.

I needed a miracle.

Thanks for reading!