Chapter 4

Katniss' POV

I hear voices arguing. One sounds frustrated and the other determined. I try to open my eyes to see who the voices belong to, but I am unable to do so. I try to make out what they are saying but it sounds muffled.

"I have to do this! It's the only way to protect her," he pleads. Peeta. I recognize his voice now.

"We can approach this in a different way. You aren't thinking clearly. You've been under a lot of stress."

I recognize the other voice as Haymitch.

Peeta laughs mockingly then speaks up again. "Oh stress doesn't even begin to explain what I feel! I'm tired of waiting for shit to happen to us. We need to be proactive."

"It's too dangerous Peeta. Katniss would never go for it."

What's too dangerous? What is Peeta going to do? What is it I would never go for? So many questions that I don't have the answer to, and before I can hear anymore I drift off into the darkness again.

HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

When I am conscious again I hear them still talking. Haymitch and Peeta. This time their voices are more subdued.

"I need to do something. I can't just sit back and wait."

There is a long pause and then Haymitch says, "I think you need to have a talk with your wife."

You got that right.

I try to open my eyes again and say something but all that comes out is a mumble.

"Katniss!?"

I feel Peeta's hands on my face. Ooh that feels good.

"Katniss…come on, open those eyes for me…come on Katniss," he pleads with me.

I'm trying Peeta. I struggle once again and his handsome face comes swirling into my vision.

"Hi," I say. More like groan. Oh shit, my body hurts. I move my hand to touch my side because its where hurts the most, while I stare into Peeta's blue eyes. I just can't look away. He is looking at me with such intensity.

"What happened?"I croak out. I'm trying to remember, so I search my brain.

"You were in the woods…"

The woods. It all comes back suddenly. I was attacked. I remember thinking I was going to die then someone saved me. I think hard. Gale. Gale was there.

"…Some men attacked you and Gale saved your life. He showed up with you bleeding and unconscious on our doorstep."

Peeta seems distraught. It's all my fault. I feel so guilty.

"I'm sorry," I say as a tear drifts down my cheek. I hate seeing Peeta in so much pain.

"It's ok. I'm just glad you're ok." He lets out a big sigh and leans down to kiss me.

His lips touch mine and I am in heaven. God I missed this.

Someone clears their throat and I realize Haymitch is still in the room.

"Hi Haymitch," I say, smiling at him.

"Good to see you're alive and well sweetheart."

Haymitch gets out of his chair and walks over to me. He leans down and kisses my forehead. Huh. I must have been seriously injured, if it seems even Haymitch was worried.

"You take care of yourself. I'll see you kids later." He walks to the door, but not before a look passes between him and Peeta.

Whatever that was about I will have to ask about it later. When the door closes Peeta looks at me and smiles softly.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"Katniss, you knew about Phoenix. You knew he wanted to kill you, and the next morning you go into the woods. Alone!"

"Sorry," I mutter again. I don't know what else to say.

Peeta shakes his head and stands, moving away from me. He runs a hand through his hair and paces as he talks.

"Do you know what it was like for me Katniss? Gale brought you to me covered in blood. In blood Katniss! I thought you were dead!" His voice steadily gets louder as he goes on.

"Don't shout at me!" I cry out. "I had a nightmare ok. You died and Prim died right in front of me. I felt bad to wake you so I just left. I had to get out into the woods."

"Katniss, I'm your husband for God sakes! That's what I'm here for, to comfort you. To make you feel safe. I will never stop doing it. I will always be here for you. 'Til the day I die. I will hold you when you have nightmares a million times over. You don't have to feel bad about that."

Tears are running down my cheeks now and I am rendered speechless at his response. How did I ever deserve his love? He is too good for me. I cover my face with my hands.

"Please don't ever feel bad to wake me. Don't run away from me. Please," he pleads with me.

He is now kneeling next to me by the couch and is holding my head to his chest. He removes my hands from my face and wipes away my tears.

"Don't cry beautiful. Don't cry. It's just you scared me that's all. I love you."

"I love you too."

With that our lips meet in a passionate lip lock and we kiss until we both need to come up for air.

Peeta climbs behind me and spoons me. I feel so safe in his arms. I feel comforted. I drift off to sleep knowing that he is near.

HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHG HGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGH

A week of bed rest is way too much. Gah. There is only so much you can do to entertain yourself. I miss the woods. I am so antsy I walk around the house over and over. I really want to go outside, and maybe walk around District 12, but Peeta always gives me a stern talking to when I try too much.

Peeta has been a very attentive husband and I am thoroughly enjoying the extra love and attention, but I feel like the outdoors is calling my name. I have not been outside in a week. A week! Peeta can also get a little too protective as always. It's sometimes cute but other times I snap at him. What can I say; I'm cranky and cooped up.

I walk down the stairs taking my time. My side is still extremely sore. I have to be careful not to rip my stitches. They come out in two days. Did I mention it takes me a minute to walk down the stairs? Yea it's painfully slow.

"Hey Katniss! Are you hungry?" Peeta calls from the kitchen. "I brought your favorite."

I smell them already and I can't help but force myself to move a little faster to get to them. Cheesebuns. The smell is divine.

"I'm here!" I say breathlessly, having jogged from the stairs to the kitchen. Ow, sharp stabbing pains. Ok maybe I pushed a little too hard.

I hold my side as I enter the kitchen and Peeta looks at me glaringly.

"Dammit Katniss what part of rest don't you understand. Can you just listen to someone, for once."

I look a little guilty and take a seat to eat my cheesebuns. "Sorry," I say anyway.

He just rolls his eyes and sits at the table next to me. I devour one bun in no time at all and soon I reach for another.

"Thanks for the buns," I say. Well that's what I meant to say but my mouth was full with cheesebuns.

Peeta quirks an eyebrow up in response and laughs at me.

"I have no idea what you just said."

I laugh and make a face. He smiles for a while and then his face suddenly turns serious and I realize he is about to say something sappy, I can guarantee it. I wait for him to speak, still chewing my delicious food.

"I love that laugh," he says, "I can't believe I almost didn't get to hear it again."

My stomach flip-flops. I'm pretty sure I can hear my heart thudding wildly. He reaches up to caress my cheek and starts to lean in. I meet him halfway and kiss him as if this was our last kiss. His tongue starts to caress mine and I return the favor. My hands are in his hair and are pulling him closer to me. I don't want this kiss to end and I don't want to let him go. Finally we part and he smiles softly at me. He kisses my forehead and goes back to his food.

After a few seconds, he looks at me out of the corner of his eye. My cheeks are still flushed.

"Katniss, concerning what we talked about, I really think…"

I immediately interrupt him because I know what he is going to ask. "No Peeta."

"But Katniss…"

"No! It's not happening ok."

"Katniss…" He pleads with me. Now he is trying to use his eyes to get me to agree, not going to happen Peeta.

"Shshhh…" I say harshly. He needs to drop this, we spoke about this already.

He lets out a sigh and gets up from the table, taking his dishes to the sink. My mind drifts back to a couple days ago.

I'd just woken up about two days ago and I figured now was a good time to bring up what I heard. Peeta is sitting painting a picture and I turn to him. Ok here goes nothing. Hopefully he tells me the truth.

"Peeta."

"Mmm…"

"When I was unconscious I heard you and Haymitch talking, well arguing too."

Peeta immediately stops painting and I see him stiffen. Oh great. This is not going to be a great conversation. I plough on.

"You said something about doing something and protecting me?"

"Oh, you heard that." He puts down the brush and turns to face me.

"Please, tell me what that was about. And don't lie to me and sugarcoat it ok, I'm not some damsel in distress, or a little girl. I'm your wife and I deserve the whole truth."

He stares at me for a few seconds, and then he dips his head in resignation. When he raises his head again and his eyes meet mine, he says something I did not expect.

"I'm going after Phoenix."

What the hell.

"No Peeta." He's nodding. "No!" I shout. "Are you insane? You're going to get yourself killed!"

"Katniss, this man is after you. He wants to kill you. After what happened in the woods I'm not taking any more chances."

"So what, you're just going to look for a fight!?"

"Dammit Katniss! Can't you see I'm trying to protect you?!"

"Oh by getting yourself killed." I shake my head in amazement. Is this conversation really happening?

"Well thanks for that vote of confidence," he says a little dejectedly.

I stand up and move to him. I have to convince him this is a bad idea.

"Peeta." I grasp his face in my hands. "Peeta look at me."

He eventually looks up.

"You can protect me here." I say softly. "Please, please, I beg you; do not go looking for a fight."

He sighs and I can see him thinking. Eventually he nods, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

"Thank you." I lean down and kiss his lips.

That was a couple of days ago. But ever since then, Peeta will randomly try to bring it up. I shut him down every time. He is not going to convince me otherwise. I know he is upset at me right now. I can see it in the square set of his shoulders as he washes the dishes.

I don't care.

He can be mad at me all he wants. At least is he mad and alive here with me. Like if I would ever be ok with him going on a suicide mission.

He turns off the tap and turns to look at me. He leans against the sink placing both hands on the counter behind him.

"I better get back to the bakery." He pushes off the sink and starts to put on his jacket. "I don't want to leave Teagan too long alone."

Teagan is some guy that Peeta hired in the past week. Just so he could be home more to take care of me. It's sweet really. I have yet to meet Teagan but Peeta says that he is very competent and seems to be learning his way around the bakery fast. That's probably because Peeta is a good teacher.

"Ok," I say.

He leans down and gives me a peck on the lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too," I tell him. "Don't work too late."

He nods and leaves, closing the door behind him. These past few nights he has been a little later than usual. He says that he is just showing Teagan more of the ropes around the bakery. I wish I was helping him, but then again, I know as soon as I am able, it's not the bakery I will be heading to, but the woods. After I get my stitches out I think I will make a trip to the bakery right before I head to the woods, just to surprise Peeta. I miss it surprisingly. It's probably just because I like to see Peeta's muscles bulge as he lifts those heavy sacks of flour.