Narra: You have mail.
Charlie: (busy writing) Read it to me.
Narra: ...your beta quit. You either have really bad luck or something along the line of 'you're screw'.
Charlie: (growls) Send out the notice! I need a new beta!
Narra: Do you even really need a beta?
Charlie: (thinks about it) I don't think so, but I still have some grammar pro-.
Narra: Yeah, everyone noticed. The point is I'm thinking maybe you can...not have a beta.
Charlie: Why?
Narra: I am your alter ego! I do not like sharing!
Charlie: ...
Quotes:
"In my time nightmares walked among us, walked and danced, skewering victims in plain sight, laying their fears and worst desires out for everyone to see. This... to make us laugh. And now nightmares are trapped inside the heads of humans... pitiful echoes of themselves. I wonder whom they angered so to merit such a fate."
"When surrows come, they come not in single spies, but in battalions. I've allies in heaven, I've comrades in hell... say hello for me. . ."
"Seven blackbirds in a tree, count them and see what they be. One for surrow, two for joy, three for a girl, four for a boy, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret that's never been told."
"You won't have eyes tonight. You won't have ears or a tongue. You will wander the underworld, blind, deaf, and dumb, and all the dead will know: This is Hector, the fool who thought he killed Achilles."
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
People won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
"Peace is a dynamic process of nonviolent social interaction that results in security for all members of a society."
"We are raised in the United States of America to believe that our government is the strongest in the world, that as Americans we are basically protected, and that our country is basically good."
Thou Shalt Not Kill
By Charlie
Chapter Four: My First Move
His IQ is way beyond my reach so I have to use…I can't use my head. Wait, I have to use me head. Hmm, what should I do? A message, I can send him that, but what should be in the message? I can't use ethos, he isn't exactly the emotional type. Pathos just too desperate and…crispy. Logos would be a dead-end. I can use all three.
Use pathos to write a logo and create ethos. Genius! Now all I have to figure out is what the hell I just said.
Oji-san knew better then let me call him more than twice. He woke up instantly at the first call; memories of yesterday reminding him of pure pain. Everything went normally until we were driving and he knew it was safe to the point that I wouldn't dare jump out. "Orochimaru's asking for you."
"So?" Why does everyone make it into such a big deal? I don't want to have to dye my hair brown and wear contacts because of it. It's not like Orochimaru would kidnap and rape me (wouldn't put it past him though). I don't like talking about things like that. It's only more for oji-san to think about. His business is doing good and all, but with the Uchiha's rat boy on my hind, it's difficult for him not to get distracted. "Beside, if your business fails, I won't have a place to sleep. You need to take care of me."
He gave me a puzzle look and I sent him a small 'oops'. I had meant that to be a thought, but me kinda needed him to know that too.
He scoffs and purposely drove just a little closer to the lane beside the bridge, knowing I hate it. "Why did I raise such a selfish kid like you?" His voice wasn't serious, but he seems to have regrets after having said that. Don't know why.
In Jiraiya's head, "Aww, he cares about me! (somewhere hidden among the harsh words, he finds concern) I shouldn't have said that! I'm going to make him cry!"
It was true he needed to take care of me. Why? Because it was his job the second he wrote his initials above the word 'guardian'. And it was also true that I wouldn't have a place to sleep if that happened. Hello, I'm only saying the truth here.
I narrow my eyes at him dangerously. "Go back in." There was a threat hanging loosely behind that statement.
He absolutely didn't want to find out so he drove back to the middle lane. "Che, I just don't want you crying all over me."
"Oh, you mean like you did at the age of 45."
He glare at me and didn't say anything, partly because it was true. Hey, I wasn't kidding about kindergarten. A true story that will one day end up on the front page of a newspaper.
His mood quickly changes and settles on a different matter. "I'm buying dinner tonight. What would you like?"
"Anything. I'm happy as long as you stay out of the kitchen." I had been cooking for him since I could walk, that's how bad he is. Oh, but his pride would not save him the embarrassment. Oh no, it has to speak and speak it shall!
"I am not that bad."
My lips could not resist quirking up into a smirk. "You almost blew up the kitchen. The whole city was on high alert because the government thought a terrorist set off a bomb. And you know what the whole irony of this is?" He opened his mouth to argue back, but I shush him. "You were boiling water!"
I still remember that day as the most embarrassing day of my primary years.
…………………….
Naruto, not much older than ten, was walking home when he heard sirens coming from afar. He quickly noticed it was going toward his oji-san's place and started running towards the smoke. When he got there, his mind was baffle with so many questions. Never had he seen so many fire trucks, police cars, or even secret agent (who weren't really all that secret). He speed walk under the yellow plastic rope and proceed toward a knowledgeable-looking officer. "Excuse me?"
The man looked down at the little boy, startled. "You're not supposed to be here! Someone get this kid out!"
A hand neatly plucked Naruto by the cuff and carries him away, but the boy kicked and screams that his oji-san was in there. His only reply was, "Then it's best you go somewhere…safe." He was going to say something else, but he didn't want to scare the boy into believing his oji-san was dead, which he probably was.
Naruto look up at the half-burned building and shouted as loud as he could, "OJI-SAN HEEEEEEELP!"
The man, who was holding him, winced at the high pitch sound.
Suddenly everyone's attention turns to the building as at sound of a window breaking. A man covered in smudges and smokes had jumped out! He landed on the trampoline and bounced off (doing a double flip in the process) to where he had heard the sound of his beloved nephew.
The first thing he did was knock out the man who was holding Naruto then grabbed the little fellow in a big bear hug. "NARU-CHAN! NARU-CHAN! I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU!" Then the old man put the boy down and enveloped into tears.
Naruto could only blush with embarrassment and try to console his oji-san by patting this head. "There, there. Look on the bright side; at least you're not dead."
When the fire died and the building was turned completely black, including the windows, the Chief of Police himself met up with Naruto and Jiraiya. "You say your name was…Naruto?"
"Yes, sir."
"You aren't in trouble since it wasn't entirely your fault," he said this while looking at Jiraiya. "However, you have to take precaution to not let this happen ever again or we may have to take drastic measures. Understand?"
Again Naruto answered, "Yes, sir. I'm certain it won't happen again."
He nodded and gesture toward Jiraiya. "You make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again, Naruto-san."
"Yes, sir. It won't happen again." The boy glances up at his oji-san. "I'll personally make sure of it."
"Good to hear it. Have a nice day."
After everyone was gone and things settled, Naruto glare up at Jiraiya. "You, on the sidewalk. Now."
Jiraiya gulp and obeyed. "Naru-chan, it wasn-."
"Did I give you permission to speak?" Naruto had this wide unbelievable look on his face. "What happened?" The man in turn didn't answer. "SPEAK!"
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" It wasn't the angry scream Naruto was emitting; it was more like a pleading, crying kind of scream. "I WAS BOILING WATER AND-!"
"BOILING WATER? YOU'RE NOT EVEN PERMITTED TO GO NEAR THE TOASTER! WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU CAN BOIL WATER?"
Jiraiya open his mouth.
"SHUT UP!"
He quickly closed it.
"DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILATING THIS IS? I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM THE PRESIDENT…OF THE UNITED STATES! THAT WAS HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU CAUSED!"
"BUT NARU-CHAN, IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I SAW YOU BOIL WATER AND I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT!"
"AAARGH! THAT'S THE PROBLEM! YOU USED YOUR BRAIN AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT YOU!"
Jiraiya took a look at the well-done and crispy building then burst into tears again. "NARU-CHAN, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? WE'RE HOOOMELESS!"
"WRONG! YOU'RE HOMELESS! I'M GOING HOME!" And with that Naruto stump off, but later saw his oji-san at the dinner table.
…………………….
I watch him wiggle in his seat with guilt, embarrassment, and awkwardness. See what I have to put up with. If I could trade oji-sans, I would. I want to travel to a country where it's actually legal! Well, it wasn't like it isn't any fun messing with him once in a while. Oh, we're at school. I wave a good-bye and went in.
It's business time.
Passing on the way to somewhere, the person (Chicken), who I didn't want to see, appeared right in front of me. I almost crashed into him too, but luckily I stopped in time. He looked at me and I looked right back. He wouldn't look away and I don't want to be some girly dude shying away from this staring contest. If someone was to just suddenly walk by, I probably could move away. It's not that fuing difficult to just walk off, right? Wrong. Ok, I don't know why it's wrong, but damnit, even if he doesn't know it's a staring contest and have no idea why we're still staring without blinking at each other, I don't want to lose!
In the end, I had to turn away. There was a boy's restroom right beside me and I went in, standing right at the door to make sure he doesn't pull something weird and come in. Guys who don't wear their emotions on their sleeves tend to overreact at bit when interesting things come along. It happened to me once, except he was a she. She appeared anywhere I was and wouldn't leave me alone. One month later of agonizing stalking, she told me she loves me. I don't even want to know why. Told her I have a girlfriend who is blind because of an accident she and I were in and I can't leave her.
A horrible lie (no offence to anyone who had that happened to them), but it worked. She was still a little clingy after that so I set her up with some guy from Art Class.
It was still a long time till class start so I lock myself up in the Room and roam through the list. They had something in. They're all very sick and twisted. And I'm not including only the teachers here. Of course, that goes to say, I'm very sick and twisted too.
I went to class and saw most of the students' attention was drawn to the blackboard. I had almost forgotten about that. I had gone to school that night. Secretly, of course. The cameras were all off since I told Tsunade to turn it off. Using red paint, I covered Kakashi's black board with words. I just hope he wasn't planning on using it today. That would be sad.
I pretended that I was interested in it too, only until Kiba came. He sat next to me and immediately started talking. No, I'm sure his mouth was already opened before he even saw me. I stared at the board and what was written.
Once upon a time, a boy asked me, "Where does Santa Claus live?" I told him the answer, but he didn't believe me. He was quite shock and ran off to find his mom. I never saw him again. Do you know the answer, Shikamaru
I shall post the answer soon.
I did the black on red thing all by myself. It really pops, don't you think.
Shikamaru was already seated by this time. His eyes were tired and half close, but they were steady and calculating. It shows just how alert he was. Geez, he looked ready to fall asleep. I would go to sleep myself if I didn't know it would attract attention.
Kiba and I wasted no time in going over to him.
"Hey, looks like a challenge for you," Kiba said, excited. He's never seen Shikamaru eager about anything and he vaguely wonder if he should've bought his camera. I know I did.
"Not interested." His tone was hazy and so dull. I feel like shoving a lemon down his throat just to see him react.
I rolled my eyes and poke him in the head. "Where does Santa Claus live?" I whispered to him. He sighs, took a look at the board, put his head back down and scoffed. I feel offended. "I think it's kinda cool, except for that big heart at the end." I drew that in so people didn't know I'm a guy. Maybe I should've added a few kisses. I didn't bother myself with it much and drag myself away. Kiba followed me.
Why? Why won't the boy just shut up?! I am a very patience person. Sometimes. This was not one of them. "Look Kiba, I am-," I was just starting with my threat when I was interrupted.
"Kiba, can you come here?" said Chouji.
Kiba is lucky.
When I said my life sucked, it was just an exaggeration. Now my life sucks. Kakashi has decided to single me out of class. Why? How the hell should I know? Good news is I didn't see him at the bar last night. Wonder why.
"Naruto?" Why is it that the more I want to stay out of the spotlight, somebody drags me into it? It's like I'm curse.
"Yes?" Judging by Kakashi's expression, I just miss something very important. Man, maybe I really am curse. He pointed to the board and sure enough, there it is, a question. I examined it and was immediately confused.
"Aren't you a math teacher?" The words escaped my mouth before I can stop it. Yeah everyone's laughing at me. That Chicken is struggling not to laugh. But he stops when people turn their attention on him. Hah, how you like that, yah' beef jerky?
No breakfast, I'm hungry, so shut up.
Sakura, bitchy and angry, said, "Is there a problem with your head?" That question is directed at me, obviously.
Kakashi came to the rescue by, "No, Naruto. I'm your Literature teacher." Not much of a rescue.
"Ok," I said nonchalantly. Damnit, Kurenai was my math teacher!
I've been so into their lives that it's now jumbled up inside me. That sounds gay. Anyway, I took a piece of paper, but there was no need since Kakashi again had to open his mouth.
"Naruto, we're using notebooks."
"Sorry," didn't really mean it. You can bet Sakura sniggered on that one. Putting back the paper, I grab a notebook from inside my backpack. What's wrong with me today? I'm not myself. I must be sick. Sighing inwardly, I wrote down the question.
What is your view point on life?
Am I allowed to skip that? I look up at Kakashi and saw this weird twinkle in his eyes. That bastard, he purposely put it up there.
"This is a class journal so put it on my desk before leaving."
He's officially on my to-kill list.
I wrote something along the line of life is wonderful. As if. Kakashi opened up a book and begin reading it. I squinted my eye to look at the title.
Oh for the love of my dignity! He's reading oji-san's book! All I know from that was, it's rated R. Oji-san is an anonymous author of a porn book. It's so embarrassing along with the fact that my ma-english teacher is reading it.
I just have one thing to say and that is nothing. I am too speechless.
……………………..
Near the end of class, I put my journal along with the others. When I was back in my seat, Kakashi had mine opened in front of him. I can thank my luck because all of the notebooks are one color. His lip twitched in the most annoying way. With each word he read, his smile was growing wider. If I had telekinesis, I would pull his stomach inside out and pin it to the floor.
I grew tired of watching him and turn to the window instead. My head was scheming different ways to start on my next "patient". I think it'll be Kiba. He talks way too much. There doesn't seem to be anybody going after any one of them so waiting a little while longer won't hurt.
Ding dong! They should really change that sound. Hehehe, I can do that.
Narra: Look, you do not need a beta. All you need is me. Who out there is better than an alter ego?
Charlie: (a bit weird out) You're not gonna turn all "Chucky" on me, are you? Besides, a beta is not that bad. She/he can help.
Narra: Yeah, she/he can also send back your chapter after a really long time.
Charlie: There are pros and cons.
Narra: But there's more cons than pros.
Charlie: A beta can help my grammar.
Narra: It's not very efficient.
Charlie: Grammar-obsessed fans will read more smoothly.
Narra: You can update faster!
Charlie: This is going to take forever.
Quotes:
"Teachings that do not speak of paing have no meaning because humankin cannot gain anything without first giving something in return."
"A hero made wax into wings so he could foy, but when he got too close to the sun…to God, the wax melted and he crashed to the ground."
Things needed to create one human being:
Water:36 L
Carbon: 20 kg
Ammonia:4L
Lime:1.5 kg
Phosphous:800 g
Salt:250 g
Salt Peter : 100 g
Sulfur :80 g
Flourine :7.5 g
Iron :5 g
Silicon :3 g
Human :1 thousand
"Lose your mind
And control the time
Down with thee
Pay the fee"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"Be rich to yourself and poor to your friend."
"I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel."
"The only thing I regret about high school is that I didn't get to do half the things I heard I did."
"When I was young I feared I was adopted...now I fear I wasn't..."
"What if you're in hell and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?"
"When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and choke himself."