I know this fic is all over the place, and doesn't have as much of a focus on Kira as people would probably like. I'm sorry, but I'm trying to build a foundation that will be important in later chapters. Rest assured, once they make it back to Earth, things will move along with more attention on Kira (and Lacus!).

Furthermore, this is a disability fic, and I am doing my utmost to accurately portray the experience of living with a disability. There will be good days, there will be bad days, and I'm hoping to catch them all believably. Though not blind myself, I do suffer from a disability, so this story is somewhat personal for me. I only hope I am doing it justice.

Lastly, I'm in the process of moving. So, while I am still writing, updates will be sporadic at best. Want more updates? Poke me and I'll try.

"You need to talk to him! We're going to be landing in Orb soon, and if you two don't straighten this out..." Shinn bit back a sigh, a scowl on his lips as Lunamaria shoved him towards an innocuous-looking door, no different from any of the others lining both sides of the hallway.

They had been stuck aboard the Archangel for a full week now, the trip back to earth delayed by continuous stops and repair efforts. The small fleet was finally nearing its descent point, however, and if all went well, they would land just inside Orb's territory, off the coast by Kaguya, within a day.

Shinn had mixed feelings about returning to Orb, but mostly he was just glad it was all over. Though he wished he could avoid that country, he knew it was impossible. Wars did not end in a day, and while most hostilities had ceased, the scattered remains of fighting remained at posts that had not yet been brought under the ceasefire. Without a proper treaty in place, not everyone would listen, either. The command structures of both the PLANTs and the Earth Alliance were shattered, making control tenuous at best.

...in short, things were a mess. The Clyne Faction, or whatever the heck with organisation that he was stuck with called itself, was doing what it could to settle everyone down, but after the ferocity demonstrated at the end of the war...well, it was not easy. It was for that reason that he, along with the entirety of the Minerva's crew, was stuck aboard the Archangel.

The Eternal and Kusangi were also with them, though aside from a few minutes aboard the Eternal, he had not left this ship. He wasn't allowed to leave. The crews of the three ships passed among them easily enough, but they were technically prisoners, being escorted to earth in a 'safe manner that ensured no further involvement in hostilities'. It infuriated him, but what could he do?

Begrudgingly, he had to admit that they were not being treated badly, and he had his friends. They had the run of the ship, bridge and hold exempted, and the crew were kind enough to them. Honestly, Shinn had to admit that he believed their claims that all they intended to do was see them safely to Orb, then let them free. That did not mean he could not be frustrated by it, however.

To make matters worse, Athrun was nowhere to be found. He wanted to talk to him, he really did, but how was he supposed to do that when the only time he saw him, Athrun was dragging around Lacus Clyne and that Kira guy? After some poking around, they had managed to find out which of the rooms he was using for his stay on the Archangel. Or, what room was his. He did not really know. Athrun was stationed on the Eternal, from what he could gather, but was staying on the Archangel. Why, he had no idea, but that was how it was.

"Shinn, are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Luna?" he asked, turning to his girlfriend. "What were you saying?"

"You're impossible." That was a little unfair. "I was asking if you were going to buzz him today or next week. I know he's in there. I asked Mir about it."

Good friends. Meyrin and Luna had buddied up with the Miriallia girl, and Lacus Clyne too. Shinn was not sure how he felt about that, but he supposed it was probably for the best. As much as he wanted to hate these people...they were just that.

People.

"Earth to Shinn. Are you going to return from whatever galaxy you've gone to sometime today?"

"Right. Sorry." Unthinking, he lifted one hand and rang the buzzer on the room. After a moment, Athrun's voice sounded over the intercom, inviting them in. The door beeped, indicating it was unlocked, and Shinn hit the button to open it.

"Good luck. And Shinn? Be polite."

Before he could make a smart retort, the door had slid open, and Luna was gone, floating off down the hallway. Sighing to himself, he stepped inside—and paused. Athrun was seated on one of the room's beds, his hand still on the console that controlled the door. Lying on the other bed, facing the wall, was Kira Yamato.

Even here, he could not escape that man! The worst of all was that he wanted to like Yamato, but at the same time, his own long-standing biases refused to let him.

"Oh, Shinn. I didn't realise it was you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, scowling.

"Sorry. We were just waiting for Lacus. I assumed you were her."

"So, what, you wouldn't have let me in if you'd known?"

"Don't be like that, Shinn. It was just a surprise."

Shinn scoffed, but let it drop. Instead, he nodded towards Kira. "What's up with him?"

Athrun frowned at him, making Shinn glare. "You could try asking Kira that. And a hello wouldn't hurt. So he knows who you are."

Glancing back at Kira, Shinn folded his arms. "You said my name. He can hear my voice." He paused, noticing that the wrap surrounding the brunet's was gone. "His bandages are off. What the hell is the point in that? He can figure it out for himself."

When Shinn glanced back at Athrun, he saw an open expression of rage on the other's face. "Because it's polite, Shinn."

"Let it go, Athrun," a new voice sounded.

"Kira..."

Shinn glared between the two, but after a moment, he took a deep breath. "Hi, Kira." Because he didn't have to hate Kira anymore. He had to believe that, even if Athrun's overprotectiveness of the brunet was just a pain in the ass.

That got a reaction. Kira, for the first time since he had come in, pushed himself upright on his good arm and slowly looked over at him. Shinn could not hold back the gasp that escaped him.

He wasn't sure what he had expected, after Kira's bandages came off, but what he got...was not it. He supposed he had expected perhaps a scar, stitches maybe, signs of a bad wound...but not...

It was clear the surgeon had tried to make it...better, but that was really too generous a word. One socket had been closed over, the eyelid sealed over it with a nasty-looking scar. The other one...was empty. It was simply an ugly, gaping hole, the flesh the soft pink of tender new skin. Shinn found that it turned his stomach.

"I-I..." A glance at Athrun revealed that the other man was glaring him down, an intense look on his features. Meeting his eyes, Athrun shook his head, once. "I didn't know you'd be here." Athrun had better be fucking happy. It had taken all of Shinn's willpower to get that out, and this for someone he did not even like!

The tense moment passed, however, and Kira smiled, albeit weakly. "Well, it is my room. Athrun's the intruder here."

A soft chuckle greeted the words, and Athrun was smiling softly. "You're the one who invited me to stay here."

"Admit it, you would have anyway."

"Probably. You get into too much trouble if I'm not there to watch you."

The two chuckled softly, and Shinn found himself scowling again. He had come here to talk to Athrun! But instead...!

The door opened behind him, and Shinn turned as Lacus floated in. Her eyes widened slightly, then she smiled at him. "Hello Kira. Athrun. Shinn. It's good to see you. I'm not interrupting anything, am I? The door was unlocked, so I thought it okay to come in."

"Actually, Lacus," Kira said, turning away from them and groping around in the cubby by his bedside. After a moment, he was putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Would you take me to the bridge? I'd like to talk to Ms. Murrue."

"Of course, Kira. Athrun, we'll be back later."

"Okay. Thank you, Kira. Lacus."

With a quick nod of acknowledgement, the two headed out, Lacus' arm linked with Kira's as they floated out the door.

"So, you finally have time for me?"

"Shinn, just don't. Please. I'm not happy about it, either, but Kira needs me right now, and you're the one who can't seem to say a friendly word to him."

...okay, Athrun might have him there. Still, he was pissed anyway.

"I need to know, what happened to Rey?"

Athrun hesitated a moment, then let out a long sigh. "You should know, we tried to save him. He and Captain Gladys were both...ready to go down with the chairman, but we were able to..." He shook his head. "We got them to the mobile suits, but the base was collapsing. I don't know exactly what happened, but rubble fell, and the Freedom overturned. Rey was...caught under it, and Kira was knocked aside. He barely made it."

"The Freedom killed him."

"Shinn, it was an accident."

"An accident like Heine's death?"

"Shinn!"

He knew he was being pigheaded, honestly, but Shinn did not want to let the matter drop. He was angry that Rey had died, while Kira had lived. Where was the justice in that? Why couldn't Rey have lived instead? He'd only been fighting to fulfill his dreams. To...!

"Rey said something to me, about...about how his life was only an experiment to create that Kira guy. So why...!?"

Athrun's eyes widened at that, and he stared for a long moment. His next words were clearly chosen carefully. "What did he tell you, exactly?"

Well, Athrun clearly knew something, then. Something about why Rey had had to spend his entire life suffering like he had. Because it wasn't fair. None of it.

"He told me he was a clone of...of someone, the name isn't..."

"Was it Al Da Flaga?"

Shinn's eyes narrowed. Athrun definitely knew. "I think so. Something about the late Commander Le Creuset..."

"Then it was Al Da Flaga. He was Captain Mu La Flaga's father. He...might know more about it. Kira told me what he knows, but that isn't much."

"So he knew about this?" Shinn demanded, feeling anger well up in him again.

Athrun shook his head. "He may have been born in the same lab as Rey, but I don't think that counts as knowing much. And whatever relation Rey has to the experiments involving—" Athrun cut himself off sharply, his jaw making an audible click as he did so. Instead, he shook his head. "You want more, ask Kira. This isn't my story to tell. But I will tell you that Kira had nothing to do with whatever happened to Rey, at least not personally, and that the whole affair is...not something he's happy about. And he did try to save Rey."

Falling silent, Shinn stared at Athrun for a long moment. He wanted to get angry, but instead, he forced that side of himself away and, using all of the willpower he could muster, he forced himself to think about things from the other side.

...Rey was, physically, younger than Kira, though he aged faster. If Kira was born from that lab, then...something didn't add up. Was Athrun lying? Had Kira lied to him? Had Kira been lied to? Was information being concealed?

...had Rey lied or been misinformed?

After a full minute of battling with those questions, Shinn decided they were too much for the moment. He was not going to get answers by giving himself a headache, and he really did not think Athrun was lying to him. More so, he did not think Kira would lie to Athrun. The two seemed awfully close, considering they had simply been war buddies. Therefore, if he wanted more information, he would have to get it elsewhere.

Truthfully, though, he thought maybe he was okay with what he now knew. Kira was not some evil madman who had been involved in cloning experiments, so what did it matter? Assuming Athrun was being honest...maybe Kira was a victim, too. It was not something he would have considered in the past, but he had promised Luna he would try to get passed this, and he meant to keep that promise.

"You know, Kira's been my best friend since I was four-years-old," Athrun said after several minutes of silence. "I'm not asking you to like him, but can you please try...not to be so hard on him? He's having a really rough time right now, and he won't ask anyone to back off for himself; he never does. So..."

Shinn found himself staring at Athrun in silence. Best friend? Four? That he hadn't known. Suddenly, a few things made sense. After a long moment, he nodded. "I...I'm gonna try." Though they were docking soon, he wanted to keep Athrun as a friend, and with Luna and Meyrin so close to the members of this crew, he knew it would not be the end of his association with Kira Yamato.

And maybe, just maybe...he was getting tired of his own rage. This war...it hadn't brought anything good upon the world, and after seeing how the others dealt with things, and speaking at length to Lunamaria, he had vowed to try to better himself. Well, forgiving Kira Yamato would not be the hardest task, there.

"So, how did you two meet?"

Athrun looked surprised, then one side of his mouth quirked up in amusement. "Well, it was just before we started school..."

They talked at length. In that time frame, Shinn learned more than he had dared hope to. Eventually, though, the speaker on the door sounded.

"Athrun? The ship is beginning its descent shortly," Lacus said, her voice floating softly over the intercom. "You should get into your uniform, then head for the bridge. There are seats there for you and Kira. Shinn should join the rest of the crew for reentry."

Athrun jumped up, hurrying to the small closet the room had—though Shinn was a little surprised they had that much. This wasn't a regular crew cabin, to be sure—and pulling it open.

"Come in!" he called as he pulled out two uniforms. The door opened as Athrun laid them out on the nearest bed. It was strange to Shinn to realise he actually hadn't seen Athrun or Kira in uniform since boarding the ship. The rest of the crew wore the uniform of Orb, but those two had been in plain clothes every time he had seen them.

"You forgot, didn't you?" Kira asked, a note of amusement in his tone.

Athrun let out a long sigh. "Sorry. We got to talking, and..."

"It's fine, Athrun. Can you hand me mine?"

Shinn was surprised at the uniform Kira was given. He knew a few things about the designation of rank in the Orb military, and the bars of rank on the jacket Kira was given, the bands on his cuffs and lapel, didn't stand for a simple mobile suit pilot. To his great surprise...he realised that Kira Yamato was the ranking officer on this ship. In fact…he was the ranking officer in the Orb military, here.

Admiral Kira Yamato. He had honestly had no idea.

...and Athrun wasn't all that far behind. Commander Zala in ZAFT, Commander Zala in Orb. After defecting, then joining Orb, then joining ZAFT, then defecting to rejoin Orb...he could not wrap his head around why Athrun was being given that much honour. And just who was Kira, really?

"Shinn? Would you like me to show you the way?"

Glancing at the smiling Lacus, Shinn frowned. "I've been on this ship long enough to know where I need to go for reentry."

"Would you like company for the walk over, then? I would be happy to provide it."

Why was she being so persistent, he—

—should probably leave. Athrun and Kira needed to get changed, and Athrun probably needed a few minutes extra to help Kira. Lacus intended to leave, and she was politely telling him to leave, too. Blushing faintly, he nodded.

"I...yes. Let's go."

The door closed behind Lacus and Shinn, and Athrun let out a baited breath, grateful for Lacus' tactful nature. He had not wanted to blatantly kick Shinn out, but Kira needed assistance. It always took them extra time to get ready in the morning, simply because Athrun tried to give Kira as much autonomy as possible, while still giving him the assistance that he needed.

The moment the door closed, Kira seemed to sag, the calm, steadfastness that was so very Kira just seeping away. This was a side he never showed to anyone else, not even Lacus. It was the side of Kira that was feeling the loss of his sight to the bone.

Birdy!

Torii took flight from Kira's shoulder, flapping over to Athrun to land on his. Kira followed the sound of her wings, stopping only a foot from Athrun's side. There was no denying that Kira was learning to cope very well, and being back on Earth, where he could hear people walk, would only help with that, but the first few days had been bad.

...and the nights were worse.

Athrun would never tell anyone, but the first night after Kira had awoken, he had begged Athrun to stay in sickbay with him. Well, begged might be too strong a word, a single request was all it had taken, but the fact that he had asked at all was surprising.

When Kira awoke with a scream that night, Athrun had been there, though, sleeping just across the room. He had leapt out of bed, hurrying to Kira's side. Nightmares were something they were both accustomed to, and Athrun had said nothing while Kira clung to him in silence.

When words finally escaped Kira, they had broken Athrun's heart.

I can't escape the darkness.

It was not commonly known, but as a child, Kira had been terrified of the dark. He had outgrown it with time, as many did, but it seemed like old fears were creeping back in.

Athrun had cried, then, silent tears that he dared not let Kira hear. He was not sure if he had succeeded or not, but Kira never said anything. To Athrun's surprise, Kira had not even cried. All he had done was sit there next to him in dead silence, leaning against Athrun's side until he had finally fallen asleep again. Athrun had dozed off then, too, and they stayed that way until the doctor had come and awakened them for Kira's checkup.

Kira had moved back to his room that night. Athrun had already moved their things there, from the Eternal, and though Kira hadn't said it, Athrun knew he had been grateful. While the Eternal was technically where they were stationed, the Archangel was the ship Kira was more familiar with, and he knew the crew better. It had just made sense to stay here.

Lacus had agreed, and moved over to the Archangel to be with them.

The first day he was allowed out of bed, he had fumbled about, Athrun and Lacus both uncertain of how much help to offer him. Eventually, Kira had simply...given up, which was not like the stubborn brunet at all, and allowed Athrun to help him dress. With his and Lacus' help, Kira had made it through the day, though he had refused to leave the room. It was not until the next day that that had happened, and it was also the day they had met Lunamaria and the others. That particular exchange had left Kira quiet and contemplative, and they had not spoken of it. At least, Athrun had not spoken to Kira about it, but he thought maybe Lacus had.

Athrun had to admit that he was glad Shinn was coming around. The boy's animosity had been another stressor that Kira absolutely did not need, and he knew Kira was relieved by Shinn's...civility today. He was, too. It was the sign of progress.

All that aside, Kira seemed to improve physically with each passing day. He was quickly learning to accommodate for the loss of his vision when doing basic tasks like eating, brushing his teeth, and showering. Though he still needed a great deal of help with more complex tasks, there was no doubt that Kira was actively trying to become self-sufficient again. His little trick of using Torii to locate people was especially interesting, in Athrun's opinion. He would simply tell the robotic bird who he wanted, then follow the sound of her wings to that person. It was not infallible, there was a limit to the number of people she recognised for one, but it did work a lot of the time.

The people on the ship were accommodating, too. Most people introduced themselves when they entered the room with Kira, even those whom he recognised the voices of, and many had taken to intentionally making noise when they moved around. Kira never said anything, but Athrun knew he was grateful for it.

For certain, the days were getting easier. The sole exception to that fact was earlier today, when Kira's bandages had come off. While the splints on his arm and nose remained while the bones knitted, the open wounds on his face and body had closed over nicely, the accelerated healing of co-ordinators playing no small role in that. So, all of his other bandages had been removed that morning, most revealing clean, unblemished skin. All but the ones on his face.

Scars riddled the skin around his eyes, the Archangel lacking the means to have them removed—and honestly, Athrun doubted there was much point. His eyes were simply gone, and there was absolutely no way to escape or conceal that fact short of physically covering up the damage. For that purpose, he had been given sunglasses, and an eyepatch to wear over the empty socket if he so chose. The problem was, Athrun did not really know how to bring the issue up. Kira knew, at least somewhat, how bad the damage was—there had been no way to stop him from touching the areas. The soft gasp when he had encountered the empty socket was a sound that plagued Athrun even now.

Despite that minor setback, Athrun had hope. Kira was strong, adaptable, and he had wonderful support. They would make it through the coming days.

...no, the problem was the nights. When night fell, or at least when the clocks said night fell, and silence settled over the ship...that was when Kira really got distressed. With no stimulation to keep him busy, he often fell into a brooding depression. The bad dreams did not help, either, and the truth was...Athrun did not know what else to do besides be there for him, for when it got too bad and he needed someone to hear and touch and talk to.

Athrun did have one idea, but he needed to get back to Earth to implement it. He was eager to do so. He was also eager for Kira to reunite with his family, and for him to speak to Reverend Malchio. It was those thoughts that kept Athrun going through the long, miserable nights.

Placing a hand on Kira's shoulder, Athrun turned him towards the bed, allowing Kira to lean down and locate the uniform for himself.

"Kira," he began cautiously, watching with half an eye as Kira ran his hands up the uniform and began deftly freeing the pants from the hanger, "I have something for you. If you want it."

"You're going to have to tell me what it is," Kira said, trying for a laugh. There was no real humour to it, though.

"The hanger crew, Murdock and the rest, all put their heads together and made you this." Taking a deep breath, Athrun reached into his pocket and pulled out the eyepatch. It was supple leather, the back lined with a soft a soft fleece that wouldn't chafe the skin.

Taking Kira's wrist, he turned his hand over and gently pressed the patch into it. For a moment, silence descended while Kira ran his fingers over it.

"An eyepatch?" he correctly concluded at last. Athrun nodded, then stopped himself.

"Yes. It's black leather with a picture of Torii embroidered on the front."

A long silence, then, "Does it really look that bad?"

"Kira. They made it before the bandages came off. It's got nothing to do with—"

"Athrun. That's not what I asked. Does it look bad enough to need this?"

"Uh...yeah," he admitted. "It would probably be a good idea."

"Help me with it?" Kira asked after only a moment's hesitation. The eyepatch was held out, and Athrun took it once more. Straightening out the elastic that would hold it in place, Athrun laid the side with Torii against his palm then carefully transferred it to Kira, taking care to keep the string untangled as he did so.

Kira took it from there, his hands quickly working out what to do. Once it was in place, Athrun moved behind him, adjusting the strap so it fit more snugly.

"Good?"

"Feels...weird. But yeah. It's good. How does it look?"

Athrun stared at him, then chuckled. "You know, you almost pull off hardened war hero, but the picture of Torii sorta ruins it."

Kira openly laughed at that. "But the kids will like it."

"I'm sure they'll love it. Better watch out, though. They're going to love that strap, too."

"I'm sure they will," Kira said, groaning at the thought. Athrun reached over and lightly shoved his shoulder.

"C'mon, let's get ready."