IV.

The next morning found Roxy groaning with a hangover as she rolled out of bed, and Merlin looking at his arm with a detached sense of curiosity. He knew she'd been drunk, of course, but all alcohol did was lower inhibitions; it wouldn't make her act as though he was attractive if she didn't truly think so.

So, the question became: should he text her?

Text to Harry: Do you think I should text her?

Text to Merlin: Text whom?

Text to Harry: -_- Don't fucking play dumb. I control all of your tech once you're cleared for duty.

Text to Merlin: Calm down. If you're talking about the young lady from last night, that's your choice.

Text to Merlin: But if you do, ask about her brother for me.

Text to Harry: Someone else has a crush, eh? :)

Text to Harry: Wait, isn't that the kid who yelled at you for having a cold?

Text to Harry: Harry. Don't ignore me. I know where you live.

Text to Merlin: Yes, fine, that's the one. He also got the last tub of ice cream the last time I went to the market. Happy?

Text to Harry: Fucking ecstatic. -_-

Text to Harry: Wait, what do I say? Do you think she even remembers giving me her number?

Text to Harry: Harry?

Text to Harry: HARRY I SWEAR ON MICROSOFT OFFICE I'LL FUCK YOU UP.

Text to The Cunt: Fine. Be a cunt. That's what you're going to be in my contacts from now on.

Unknown to Merlin, Roxy was hoping he would text; something Eggsy teased her about mercilessly when she told him.

She put up with it with good grace until her headache worsened, then she snapped, "Like you're any better, over there pining over the neighbour whose name you didn't even know before yesterday!"

Eggsy protested immediately, cheeks flushing slightly. "I've no idea what yer on abou', Rox."

"Sure," she smirked. "And I'm a fluffy bunny." She was distracted from the argument, though, by the distant sound of her phone going off from wherever it had ended up last night - probably in her bed somewhere. She squealed and left her brother alone in the kitchen.

Text to Roxy: It would appear that Scots aren't the only ones who enjoy drinking to excess. Now the only question is how badly you're regretting it.

Text to Unknown: Who dis?

Text to Unknown: But yah, mass hedache

Text to Roxy: 'Dis' is the gentleman whose arm you accosted last night.

Text to Baldie: Its 2 early in the morn for sarcasm & big words

Text to Baldie: Also srry im a friendly drunk

Text to Baldie: Eggs makes fun of me for it alot

Text to Roxy: It's not a problem. I confess I was mildly flattered - I've never been drunk-flirted with by an Irishwoman before.

Text to Baldie: im not real irish im adopted. Lets me hav sum bad tastes, scotsman ;)

Text to Baldie: oh thank god the coffee is finaly dun brewin

Text to Baldie: gimme 20 min ill make mor sense

Their texting continued for several days, and Merlin made Roxy laugh several times in that period - it had gotten to the point where Eggsy actually knew when she was texting with him, because she was almost always giggling.

"So it's goin' well then, eh?" he teased her one afternoon. "He didn't 'old ye bein' drunk over yer 'ead?"

She flushed a light pink and refused to meet his eyes. "Not that it's any of your business," she sniffed, "but no, he didn't. Because he's a gentleman, unlike you."

"Oi!" Eggsy protested. "I can be a gent too! Jus' cause I ain't bothered bein' polite ta you don't mean nothin'." He thought of his last interaction with Harry, which had basically amounted to polite nods in the hall as they passed, and smiled a bit.

"Oh, yeah?" Roxy challenged before seeing the smile. "Only when you want in their trousers, I'd bet."

"Shuddup!" he blushed to match hers, then added reluctantly, "Mebbe ya could ask yer man about 'is friend?"

"Ask me nicely and I'll consider it."

Text to Baldie: My bro is an idiot. Worse than ur friend.

Text to Roxy: What makes you say that?

Text to Baldie: Hes pining. Over our next door nghbr. Its ridic. LIKE JUST GO TALK 2 HIM FFS

Text to Roxy: Your brother is pining over Harry? Really? Harry should be pleased to hear that. He's been pestering me to ask you how he's doing.

Text to Baldie: Rlly. Its rlly anoying. We need 2 get them 2gether somehow so theyll leav us alone

Text to Roxy: And how would you propose we do that? Harry doesn't believe anyone that 'young and handsome' (his words not mine) could truly be attracted to a 'middle aged washed up police detective.' Again, his words.

Text to Baldie: Thats not as pathetic as Eggs. He told me he doesnt think a bloke as fit & official as ur friend could ever be interested in 'council est8 trash wiv a bad attitude'

Text to Roxy: I really don't know what to do with the two of them.

Text to Baldie: We could do a dub d8? Or set them up on a blind d8? Idk man. Im more interested in seeing u again honestly ;)

Text to Roxy: Well I can assure you that the sentiment is mutual. Unfortunately a rather large case just came in and I'll be working overtime until it's solved - cyber crimes are on the rise here in good old London.

Text to Baldie: :( I guess u wont get to see the new outfit I bought then. U wouldve liked it. ;)

Text to Roxy: Is the outfit going somewhere for some reason?

Text to Baldie: Just my floor. I was hoping u would be avail. for dinner but o well

Text to Baldie: [Photo Message]

Text to Roxy: You're a tease, Roxy Morton, and I'll be distracted for the rest of the night because of you.

Text to Baldie: U complaining?

Text to Baldie: Cuz I can go. Leave u 2 ur work and all.

Text to Roxy: Please don't - I enjoy speaking with you.

Text to Roxy: If I get some free time, may I call you this evening?

Text to Baldie: Ur being very formal. Its cute.

Text to Baldie: Of fucking course u can call me

Text to Baldie: We can hav phone sex ;)

...

Text to Baldie: Or not, nvm

Text to Baldie: Sorry. Moving 2 fast?

...

"He hates me," she moaned over a cold bottle. Eggsy eyed it, and her, and decided that he'd switch out her next one for a water; it wasn't that he wasn't sympathetic to her plight, but he knew his sister, and so was aware that she was most likely being overdramatic. "He thinks I'm a jumped up slag and not at all classy and he'll never want to talk to me again!"

With a quiet sigh, Eggsy pointed out, "Rox, 'e got yer numbah because ya was drunk as a skunk and wrote it wiv a Sharpie on 'is arm. I don't really fink he's gonna drop ya jus' because ya suggested some dirty talk." For once, Eggsy was the voice of reason, and it made his skin jitter a little bit. He wasn't used to being the reasonable one in their relationship, much less the sober one.

She whined a little, burying her head in her arms with a resounding thunk. "Why does everything have to be so haaard?" she complained. "This is why I only ever go with uni folks; they don't expect me to be super suave and I don't have to worry about impressing them."

Eggsy pointed out, "But the fac' that ye're tryin' so 'ard mus' mean ye fink 'e's worf the effor', yeah?"

Roxy glared at him for a moment. "Since when are you so reasonable? I hate it. Go back to the brother that bitches with me about dumb boys. Right now."

He laughed. "No can do, Rox. I fink this one might be good fer ya. Ye jus' 'ave ta be willin' ta work at it."

She narrowed her eyes at him, then stood up and flounced off to her room, huffing the whole way. "I hate when you're right, have I mentioned that?"

He didn't respond, but he grinned when he heard her barely muffled squeal seconds later. He must have finally texted back, Eggsy reasoned.

Text to Roxy: My apologies, I've been arse deep in bank transactions and everything went tits up just as you made your delightful proposition.

Text to Roxy: Trust me, nothing would please me more.

Text to Baldie: I bet the banks r loving the thorough anal inspections eh?

Text to Roxy: Not exactly. I would say this is only mildly less difficult than pulling teeth with a string and a doorknob.

Text to Baldie: U must hav siblings 2. Mum caught me tryin that with Eggs 1ce. She wasnt impressed

Text to Roxy: Two older sisters; both of them thought it might be fun to see if my front teeth would come out at the same time.

Text to Roxy: They weren't loose.

Text to Baldie: I snorted. I shouldnt hav but i did.

Text to Baldie: They sound ... Nice?

Text to Roxy: Be honest.

Text to Roxy: I already know they were unholy terrors, trust me.

Text to Baldie: Eggs and i were each others throats a lot as teens but we still loved eachother

Text to Roxy: Is it odd, both of you being adopted?

Text to Baldie: Nah, just lets us kno how lucky we r. We could hav it a lot wors, trust me

Text to Roxy: I find you inexplicably intriguing.

Text to Baldie: is that a good thing?

Text to Roxy: Very much so. I plan to spend a lot of time getting to know you.

Text to Baldie: in mor than 1 sense i hope ;)

Text to Roxy: Most definitely. Unfortunately, I have to get back to work. I'll text you later?

Text to Baldie: not if i txt u first :p

Text to Baldie: ttyl :*

One more chapter to go after this! (Not that anyone is going to have to wait for the last chapter. Unless my internet freakishly goes out or something in the next fifteen minutes.)