Authors Note: Hey y'all. It's been a really long time since I've updated. Some of you know that I had a baby, a beautiful baby girl who is now 4 and a half months old. I've gone through a lot of hard ships and ups and downs through my pregnancy and becoming a mother. I've started writing again, obviously. I'm focusing on this story and Daisy Fields and going to try to finish these two before I start working on all of my other stories. I'm determined to finish them all. Updates unfortunately will be slow, but they WILL happen. I've just got to juggle running a house, taking care of my daughter Jessa and my 3 year old nephew. I'll have a lot of time to write over the next month or so since tomorrow I'm having surgery and I will be off my feet for at least the month. Thank you to everyone who has stuck by me and continue to read this and all of my stories. Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed and reviewed my stories. It means the world to me. Thank y'all so much. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Merle knew Beth hadn't decided to attempt suicide on her own. Someone gave her a push in the direction, gave her the go ahead, somehow. He couldn't go right out and say names, point fingers without proof. He'd been on the other end of pointed fingers too many times to do it to someone else without tangible proof. Oh, many a times he damn well knew it was justified. He would be the first to tell you he did a lot of stupid shit.
Merle was willing to bet all he had left in the world that Andrea had everything to do with the attempted suicide. She was alone with Beth moments before, and she had snuck out of the house, didn't include herself in Beth's recovery like all of the females did.
He had other issues to contend with for the time being. Hershel had drunk himself silly and had been useless in saving Beth in her greatest moment of need. Merle had given clear instructions to his brother not to let the old man near Beth until he gave him permission. The old man needed to get sober first, and that would be a helluva hurdle to get through.
Hershel was passed out cold on his bed still in the previous days clothes when Merle went in with a bucket full of cold water. He tossed the water on the farmer and leaned against the door jam, his arms crossed over his chest. He was patient as he waited for Hershel to calm down.
"I ain't yer babysitter. I ain't nothin' special to ya, other then the reason yer daughter didn't bleed out on the bathroom floor. I'mma tell ya from one addict ta another, jus' this once. Yeah, life's fucked an' that's the truth. But ya got family still, an' sadly they's countin' on ya. That hooch ya been drinkin', is it worth havin' instead o' their lives? Ya lucky people 'round here know how ta sew an' Beth wasn't countin' on ya ta save her. If ya wanna keep on drinkin' ya got a choice. Ya family an' the people countin' on ya or ya keep drinkin' an' ya leave. Ya ain't gonna let them watch ya kill yaself or get them killed."
Merle knew that the farmer listened to every word he spoke. He felt that with every fiber of his being. The old man needed nothing but the harsh truth and Merle knew he would be able to tell him exactly that.
"You're right. My drinking is nothing but selfish. I won't be touching even a drop of alcohol again."
He appreciated that the farmer kept it straight to the point, didn't try to lay blame elsewhere. "I stand by what I told ya last night. Ya ain't goin' near Beth till I say so. Ya need ta be completely sober. Yer no good ta her till then." He silently dared Hershel to argue.
"You'll keep an eye on her?"
"Yep. Ain't nothin' gonna stop me from protectin' her."
Hershel sat quietly for a long while, his blood shot eyes focused solely on Merle's face. He had a feeling Hershel was trying to suss out some sort of ulterior motive. "There's more to you then meets the eye." Hershel finally spoke.
"I s'pose thre is. Ain't right ta judge a book by its cover." He smirked.
Almost two months after Merle overheard Beth and Daryl's conversation in the barn is when things really began to change. Merle noticed over those two months how Beth slowly began to leave the relative safety of her room and the farm house. She left the farm house and went to collect eggs from the hopefully walker-proof reinforced chicken coops, or go to the horse barn on occasions, even sitting on the porch of the farm house early in the mornings or as dusk began to fall in the evenings. Merle seemed to be the only one to notice the way Beth and Daryl's eyes sought the other out, eyes wandering over the farm to find each other.
Hershel started to truly trust their ragtag group, not just a trust and respect for himself and Rick. Daryl stepped into a semi leadership position, joining Rick, Merle and Hershel when they had decisions to make. Merle was mighty proud of that. With Beth's visible but slow return to life, not just a shadow of the girl she used to be, Merle came to a conclusion. The younger folk needed to learn how to protect themselves to some extent.
He kept the idea to himself for over a week, letting his ideas form before he thought to bring it up with Hershel, Rick and Daryl. It was after a near catastrophe that Merle finally said to hell with planning and decided to tell the others his ideas.
"Not ta bring up shit that ain't all roses an' sunshine, but Rick's boy was playin' chicken wit' a walker, Sophia got split up from us, and Beth nearly got bit when the walkers came out the other barn." He watched all of their expressions turn to grimaces and frowns. "They've all had close calls. Now, I don't want no more close calls. One for each o' them was enough for me. I ain't sayin' teachin' them is a sure thing ta keep 'em safe, but ain't that better then keepin' them on a short leash an' they's runnin' off gettin' into trouble?"
Rick, Hershel and Daryl agreed with Merle's reasoning. "I've come to realize Merle, when you give a suggestion. You usually have something planned out." Hershel stated.
"Yeah, I got me an idea. I's thinkin' me, Rick an' Daryl will take the three young'en's an' teach 'em one on one. Rick will teach Sophia 'bout guns, I'll teach Carl some hand ta hand an' Daryl will teach Beth ta use the bow, hunt an' track. I think she'll be real good at that. Once they get some skills learned we'll switch."
"Why not teach them all at once?" Rick questioned.
Daryl answered before Merle could. "'cause that's too much ta take in at one time. They ain't gonna focus an' remember what we's showin' them. An' they's gonna try ta show off ta each other."
Merle nodded. "'Sides, they's all still young an' need attention. This'll do that an' make 'em feel big an' useful. Responsibility goes a long way."
"I'm not very comfortable with this, but I see the reasoning and that it's for the best. You both bring up valid points. The children should learn these valuable lessons. I'll never forgive myself if something happens to any of them and they could have at least attempted to protect themselves." Hershel announced.
"The kids learning is a great idea, I agree. But the other folk here need to learn too. There aren't enough of us here with the skills necessary to keep everyone alive, especially if we have to leave the farm. This is a large group. We'll be sitting ducks if we have to run again." Rick voiced a thought Merle had already mulled over.
"I thought 'bout that as well. I's thinkin' Shane could teach a group o' the folk out in the woods, far enough out so's not to attract unwanted attention, an' he can teach 'em marksmanship. I've seen how some o' them's been shootin' an' it's disgustin'. Ya said he was teachin' at y'all's cop shop before."
"That's a good plan, Merle. It will keep that man out of trouble. I don't trust him as far as I could throw him. Now, I know he's your friend, Rick, but he's got a temper and he's underhanded." Hershel agreed.
Merle couldn't help feeling surprised that the farmer was so easily agreeing to his suggestions.
Rick began to argue. "Shane's a good man. He took care of Carl an' Lori. He—"
Merle cut him off. "He mighta been good once, but he left ya fer dead an' took yer family as his own. He's prolly the one that got ya woman knocked up. He's done nothin' but put everyone in danger since we left the quarry."
"I don't- you don't know nothin' about that Merle."
"Yeah, he does. Anyone wit' two eyes at the Quarry an' CDC could see what was goin' on between them. Ya ain't been back long enough to have gotten her knocked up. Yer blind to it, Rick." Daryl's voice was quiet as he cut into the conversation. "It's ugly, ugly as hell. Jus' like everythin' in the world these days. It's one ya gotta face 'fore it bites ya in the ass. But none o' that's the issue here. We gotta prepare for what could happen. They's all getting soft out there."
He knew without a doubt there would be problems with training the people in their group. Some folk just didn't want to learn, scared and determined that Rick, Daryl and himself could protect them. They believed that they wouldn't have to leave the haven the farm provided.
The farm wouldn't last. It couldn't. Eventually something would happen and they would be forced to move on. The farm was too open with no real way to fortify it. They would be spread thin if they attempted to have a patrol of the property. Finally, they got the people to understand the necessity of learning. They started the gun training with Shane. It was a frustrating time for Merle. He wanted to knock sense into all of them.
He was grateful, at least, that Rick's boy was all too happy to train with him and learn. He was enthusiastic and talked nonstop. Every slice of information Merle gave him Carl soaked up like a sponge and put the knowledge to use. He was a quick study.
Sophia took longer to learn how to use a gun then Merle had expected with Rick training her. He should have expected that she would be scared of the weapon. He had a feeling that she would like to learn defense more than any of the things they would be teaching her, after having lived with her daddy's abuse for so long. Thank god that son of a bitch got eaten.
The only one of the three that he didn't know much about how the training progressed was Beth. Every time Merle asked Daryl he'd give him a half answer or a shrug. Merle wasn't too concerned. He knew Daryl would teach her or he would tell him that he couldn't do it. He suspected that Daryl was teaching her more than just hunting, tracking and how to use the bow.
The rest of the groups lessons went about as well as anyone could expect. Occasionally he or Rick would join Shane in teaching them. Mainly it was an excuse to check on their progress and ensure that Shane was doing as he should be. Merle noticed the way Shane focused on Andrea, despite knowing full well that she could handle her own with a gun.
One evening the group joined Hershel and his family inside the house for a meal and to sit around their fire place. They told stories and broke into small groups, chatting amicably, until Hershel's oldest daughter Maggie asked Beth to sing. The moment the teenager started singing brought on an eerie quiet as the entire room fell silent. It was like mass hypnotism. Her voice was amazing. It was like an Angel fell from heaven just to sing to them.
He decided then and there that he would nickname her 'Angel,' for her voice. He looked around the room and frowned. He eased out of the room and searched the bottom floor of the home. Shane and the little boy were nowhere to be found. He re-entered the living room and got Daryl and Rick's attention. He motioned for them to follow him outside. The three of them stood on the porch. Merle didn't beat around the bush. "Carl an' Shane ain't in the house."
"Fuck," Rick was pissed.
"We'll check the RV an' tents, see if Dale's seen 'em." Daryl directed.
They went to the RV and their worry grew when Dale told them he hadn't seen them. Rick, Merle and Daryl stood outside the RV and started to make a plan to search the property when Dale raised a cry of alarm. "We got a problem. Looks like a big old fire at one of the barns."
Merle's stomach dropped. Rick took off in a run towards the fire. Merle let loose a string of cusswords a mile long. "Get yer stuff l'il brotha, get as much as ya can in the RV an' get everybody ready ta leave. If that barn is in flames we ain't gonna be able ta put it out.
Merle took off after Rick, trusting his little brother to do as he asked.