"True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond himself." -Henry Miller
Ch 3
000
To everyone the Ark crew it felt like what had transpired only a few weeks ago would never really go away, it would always be in the back of their skulls and helms scratching, waiting to come up again for air. That life in the Ark just was so different not as lively as it once was, for the first time you couldn't help but look at things like you once did. The little things you had never really thought about because it was always there on command or upon request was now bigger than life and demanded respect.
It was all like that oasis you had a one in a billion chances to find. You had to savor it until its last drop.
For the lucky, if that's what you would want to call it, few who hadn't suffered at the grasp of the nightmare, the moods from their friends effected them as well. The sense of helplessness was strong for them all. The three femme 'bot's who had been there, the only ones who really appeared to know what they were doing in the situation, up against had gotten up and left.
The road to complete physical recovery had been achieved but the road to mental recovery was along winding road with no end in sight for them. Every day it was closer despite the fog that was in front of them.
"Hey Jazz!"
The sound of Rachel's call instantly caught the attention of the Porsche who was entering the Ark's lounge. Raising an optics ridge at what he saw. Jazz walked over to the couchfacing the back of the room where the red twin was laid sprawled out on his, his chin on the couch's arm rest a satisfied look on his face. Jazz couldn't help but to grin at the smug grin on Sideswipe's faceplate.
Rachel was seating on the twins back with a polish buffer in her hands messaging Sideswipes back in vertical motions.
"I can get use to this" he slurred
Jazz walked over and leaned forward crossing his arms on the back rest looking down at the young women who was smiling like always. Thinking back the special ops officer would never had thought that Rachel and the twins would have made it as friends from their first greeting. Now though the young women and the two twins were practically inseparable. If you didn't use both of them in one sentence then the sentence was incomplete, leave it at that.
When Sideswipe had feel pray to the Nightmare virus the three fragile but strong friendship had been challenged in his infancy but the virus wasn't all toward the worse, it had actually made their bond stronger in the end. Sideswipe had said if it wasn't for his brother and Rachel he might have been a victim of the Nightmare.
Of which the gold twin, without fail, wasn't to for from his other half. Seating on the couch to the right one leg propped on the other knee data-pad in hand. That's a twin for you, were there was one the other was close behind.
"Enjoying yourself 'Sides?" asked Jazz humor in his voice
"You have no idea" he answered his voice still slurred from the messaging
Rachel leaned back bringing the buffer with her and made a face similar to triumphant "Enjoy it while it lasts, I don't do this very often 'Sides." The red twin just murmured something incoherent
Giving a chuckle Jazz shook his head and walked over to the energon dispenser. Returning with the mug in hand the saboteur took a seat beside the gold twin who didn't seem to realize he had taken a seat beside him.
"How it goin' Sunny?"
The gold warrior didn't even look up when his name was stated just kept his undivided attention on the data pad in front of him giving Jazz a soft grunt from the back of his vocalizer. The two sat in the relative silence Jazz watching Rachel message Sideswipe back with the buffer. The two were exchanging quiet conversation that the neither of the two could make out and didn't feel to intrude.
When it came to the Lamborghini twins they were just as much the same as they were different but you could only tell if you know them for a long time. When it came to maturity level Sunstreaker could be pointed out as the more mature one. It was only half true though. The gold twin could still feel his brothers emotional, mental pain was in, he'd felt it when we was seating beside his brother in the med-bay. Being a twin had both its pros and con's and since the nightmare almost took his brother Sunstreaker had grown just a little since.
Flickering his optics Sunstreaker looked over at Jazz who was taking a sip of his energon.
"How are you doing Jazz?" keeping his voice just below a whisper
Hands on his thighs the small he stared within the depth of his energon mug and how it glowed. Sunstreaker watched Jazz's glassy visor darken momentarily before it went back to being its normal bright crystal glass texture.
"I'm good" he grinned
Sunstreaker couldn't be fooled that easily. That was one thing the twins weren't known for their brilliance leaving the more brainy things for the ones who know how but even the gold twin could tell when someone was lying especially when it was evident upon his or her face. Dark blue optics narrowing Sunstreaker stared into Jazz's glassy visor in that I-know-your-lying-so-don't-frag-with-me kinda look. Grin gone Jazz let it fall knowing that he wasn't fooling the gold Lambo.
Turning away from that gaze he was being given Jazz once again had that un-Jazz like expression on his face. It just wasn't right when the always cheery Porsche didn't have a smile on his face.
"I've been bett'a. How 'bout you?"
For a long time Jazz thought he wouldn't receive an answer, in truth he really didn't suspect one to begin with. So he was surprised when he did get one from the gold warrior
"Same. I'm . . . worried about my brother" lifting his head to look over at his twin
Smiling faintly "He's ya bro. He'll be fine" Jazz reassured with a faint smile
Nodding in either acknowledgement or agreement he nor Jazz knew sure which. Looking down to face the data-pad lying on his thighs Sunstreaker led his facial features go neutral as he listened to really nothing just letting his processor go blank, his face portraying nothing.
How many times had he watched over his brother in the med-bay after a near death experience? How many times had Sideswipe watched over him? All those times were different from the first time during and because of the war that he'd nearly lost his brother. Since then everything else was just a scrap on the knee, so to speak. Why was Sideswipe being infected with the Nightmare virus not like on of those other occasions?
It wasn't a secret that the twins were known for their haphazard in battle always going head long into battle and getting their selves slagged up. They'd always walked back out of the med-bay either caring the other or caring each other at the same time. But for some reason it really disturbed Sunstreaker about this occasion and there weren't many things that could crack the foundation that proud warrior stood on.
Sometime had past and the room feel into silence only the quiet almost inaudible chatter from Sideswipe, Rachel, and the buzzing of the buffer was the only sound. Jazz was quietly nursing the same mug as he looked inside of it he realized it was almost empty by now. He was drawn out of his musing from the sound of the lounge door opening. Walking in was Rachel's sister Blair a thoughtful look on her face as if she was trying to remember something that she had forgotten.
"Hey ya Blair!" he greeted
The sound of her sisters name being called drew Rachel away from the buffer and Sideswipe for a moment. Head popping up Rachel looked over her shoulder and gave a quick smile before turning back to her work.
"Oh hey Jazz, Sunstreaker, Rach--Rachel what are you doing?"
A big grin crossed her face as she looked over toward Sideswipe you turned his head to look at her with a smirk "Messaging 'Sides back" mater a factly
Shaking her head Blair went back to the gold Lamborghini twin and the Porsche "Hey have either of you seen Optimus around. Me and him were suppose to go for a ride, to get out of the Ark for a while?" she asked
Exchanging glances with Sunstreaker Jazz replied first "I saw him early this morning heading down to the storage rooms. He didn't tell me why but he was." shrugging
Jazz and Sunstreaker watched as several different emotions crossed Blair's face in a short period of time. Without much warning Blair turned on her heel sharply and ran out of the lounge. "I have to go find Teletran, I'll see you guys later!" she called over her shoulder with a wave to them.
000
His processor was miles away but at the same time nowhere. There was this odd feeling within him that he couldn't recall what you would call it. It was bothering him to the point were he just wanted to break down, which sounded like a good idea. There was something else there, present around him like a body behind him that kept whispering to walking forward through these woods. Every time that kept coming back to mind he kept thinking back to that voice he had heard, that voice that wouldn't leave him alone. The face he couldn't remember and it disturbed him greatly.
During the times when he really wasn't thinking of anything was the times he was beginning to like more. At the same time he didn't like it and really wanted to think, do something. He had two internal conflicts fighting of which he wanted more. The thoughts just kept bringing him back to that Nightmare, that voice, what he almost left behind. Then when he didn't have anything to think about he felt empty, alone, in a large cold room with solid walls with nothing inside, just him.
It was a double sided sword. It offered peace of mind but loneliness.
Right now though he was in that state where it almost felt like something else was controlling him guiding his decisions the movements of his hands. He was seated back in his chair a few feet away from his desk large glowing blue screen positioned in front of him with all sorts of schematics. On two small table like trays beside him data-pads and records sat some on-line some not each holding something different but could all be connected in a diagram. Seating on top of his desk which was empty of its regular items now sat pieces of random metal slaps that seemed to make something but nothing at the same time.
A quiet buzz snapped Optimus Prime out of his thoughts his light blue optics seeming to change suddenly if somehow. Placing the laser pen he had been holding down on the table tray to his right he pressed a few buttons saving his work for future use and let them slide and fold back up into the ceiling. He ignored the data-pads strewn out around him.
Unlocking the door from his desk he watched as the door slide open only to raise an optic ridge at the sight he saw before him now. Stepping in was Teletran with Blair standing at his feet a look between, furious, concerned, and relieved.
Running her hand through her hair quickly Blair walked with haste into Prime's office trying to look irate but she thought she was failing measurably at it. Then she noticed that Prime was about to speak, oh no you wont. She brook him off . . .
"Where've you been?!" she bellowed
Jumping slightly Teletran made a face before inclining his head slightly "I'll be going" an he left letting the door slide shut behind him
Blair ignored the hacker, light brown eyes focused on the Autobot leaders dole aqua blue optics.
"I don't know what your talking about Blair. I've been right here--" he tried, defending him self
"Bull!" she grunted "I came by here earlier and you weren't here!" finally Blair felt the back of her eyes start to sting and she couldn't help it while she was trying to go off on Optimus. He'd pissed her off but truthfully he'd more scared her than anything. Since everything going AWOL, Blair had tried her best to keep her poseur about everything to stay strong. But here lately it just seemed to be getting harder and harder to stay strong.
She quickly whipped the back of her hand that was covered by her sleeve before looking back at Optimus Prime "Don't do that!" she snapped not wanting to say want she really meant to
Sighing Optimus Prime got up from behind his desk walking around it to come to a stop in front of Blair and gently he brought his blue hand around to rap around her small organic frame. He hated himself now for upsetting her, his dearest friend he'd acquired while here on Earth. She was a kind-hearted person while still being firm when need be, in his mind she didn't deserve this.
"I'm sorry Blair, I didn't mean to upset you. My processor his been . . .distant lately." a pause "I'm sorry please accept by deepest apologies." ever so gently he brought his hand around and using his center finger whipped a tear away following her light brown eyes as they looked up at his
For the first time in what felt like forever Optimus Prime felt his processor become focused away from that voice with no face, the nightmares, just . . .everything. And found he welcomed this, was it, a distraction. He hadn't lied when he had said he been distracted but didn't realize now that he'd actually realized it. Mentally shaking his head he went back to the present dilemma he had drugged himself in, and Blair.
Shaking her head and raising her hand up to wrap around Prime's digit "No I'm the one that should be saying sorry I shouldn't have gone off on you like that. You a commander after all" she chuckled half heartily "I've just been worried about you lately that's all, we all have." looking back up at him "You've been acting . . .different lately."
Sighing Optimus Prime let his optics dim by them selves. Why after all this time was he admitting to himself, realizing, that he had been acting different, distracted? It was becoming to scare him almost. No! 'Now isn't to become wrapped up in your own self pity. Blair his your main concern right now!' Prime held back growling at him self
"I know. Like I said I've been distracted with other . . .things."
Standing up he brought his hand up to rub the back on his neck maybe in some attempt to help clear his processor. It wasn't helping. Turing back to Blair he noticed she was staring at something just behind him. Glancing over his shoulder he grimaced seeing the state his office was in. 'If Prowl came in, Primus help me.' When had he let his office become this revolteing, he couldn't recall? Not only that why was he now just noticing this?!
"What have you been doing" asked Blair walking over to Primes desk and looking down at a data-pad on the floor. 'How had that gotten there and when?' "This place looks worse than Rachel's den back home." leaning and turning the data-pad on and looking it over
'Oh slag'
Blair had stopped and even from his height standing over her he could tell from her posture that she knew what was on that data-pad. Prime hoped it wasn't some of his more resent work. Leaning back on the ends of her shoes Blair turned half way light brown eyes staring up at him curious. Prime tensed trying not to show it. Why was he so concerned about her finding out about this suddenly? Now that he realized it he really didn't want anyone to find out . . .not yet. No! Blair was his closes and dearest friend, some one he could trust anything to, even his life. She'd had his life once anyway another time wouldn't be wrong. He'd told her things openily he'd never told anyone else, not even would have thinked about tell. And vice versa.
She had a right to know above anyone else in this time and place.
"These are schematics to make. . ." putting her hand to her mouth biting down on nail as she looked down at the data-pad "protoform was it?"
This time he couldn't hold back a sigh letting the tension disipate from his frame. He'd been found out anyway. Taking a step forward Prime picked up the data-pad and just before Blair started to stand he slid his hand under her, gave her a slight nudge, and let her fall back onto the palm of his hand not hurting her of course. He'd done it once or twice before by now she didn't let a noise or gesture in protest.
"I guess I couldn't hide this forever." He muttered more to himself that her
Light brown eyes looked up to meet aqua ones "This has been your 'distraction'?" Prime nodded
"Above anyone now you have a right to know, so I'm going to tell you . . .from the start Blair."
Blair narrowed her brow under her dark brown hair suddenly becoming serious as her guardian sat her down on top of his cluttered desk. And when I say cluttered I mean cluttered. Data and digi-pads were ever were along with glass slates, record docments just to name a few. Along with small scale models of what she thought she knew but wasn't sure. The rooms light dimed and Blair looked up to watch as large screens came down that remined of of the things you'd see in a submaine of the sort.
'A body?'
Optimus turned his attention back to Blairs who fully had his with that look of confusion on it. "I know I can trust you not to tell a soul about this Blair, right?"
Nodding in reply her face serious "Of course"
Nodding more to himself than to her Prime sat back in his office chair optics darker then normal he picked up a digi-pad that had been laying to his right not really having to find it, which Blair noticed and thought it strange. Mindful of his charge he sat it down in front of her, activated.
A short time passed as he sat back still completely awar of his surroundings but optics off resting. The room was quiet but neather seemed to notice Optimus was wrapped up with something he was thinking and Blair was reading what was on the data-pad. Finally a quiet sigh brought Prime's attention back to Blair, optics online.
Leaning back she sat down on her butt running a hand through her hair absently mindily.
"What is this called?"
Prime paused as if hesitating to reply but he gave her one,The Artifcer Project.
000
A/N:
It made me so mad where are all my page breakers, you know the little lines I use to space out scenes. There not there and all of my stories are like that! I've checked! Now they're all one big mess and that totally messes me up b/c I'm a perfectionist! (fumes) anyway yeah got that out of my systems.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave me some reviews it would be most welcome!
This story is detected to MyBlueOblivion, thanks my friend!
Transformers and all related char(s) belong to Has/Tak
Except for Blair and Rachel Livington, Teletran's personas, and the plot, are mine
Names and characters are entirely coincidental