A/N: Casually drops a 13,000 word bomb chapter on your and shrugs* Yay! I have my beta reader, Nebula Zee back! Thanks for the edits Zee. Anyways, school's crazy, and all, but you guys know by now that when I update, it's well worth its weight :D This semester will be over soon, and the next one won't nearly be as hard. Updates should be a lot quicker. I intend to have this story finished by spring!
Anyways, it's my birthday and I have exams still, so I'm off :) Thanks for all the lovely support and enjoy!
-Ella
Romano's POV:
I came to watch Felicia's third try-out, even if she had already made the team. I was her older brother, of course I was going to support her. I had a night shift tonight, so I was extremely groggy, and definitely grumpy, but the espresso shot I took this morning seemed to be doing its magic.
The morning air was humid and stuffy. A clean sheet of dew glistened under the morning sun, twinkling with the hope and determination of those aspiring to make the team. It was a pleasant scene, the faint trotting of cleats jogging against the pitch in numerous laps making up for the early day silence.
And then Gillian just had to ruin it all by bellowing and shrieking into her microphone like a fucking lunatic. I honestly had no idea why Isabel let Gillian go to these things; the demon did more harm than good by slapping the butts of stragglers, swearing profusely (and this is coming from me), and tripping her little brother when he wasn't looking.
Okay, I actually enjoyed seeing that asshole topple over like a deck made of cinder blocks. Served him right for ogling at my sister all the time. It didn't help that they hung out just about every day now. Obviously, I couldn't say anything, since Felicia genuinely seemed to like this guy. Although, I didn't have to like it, and that's what my thoughts were for. I reserved all pictures of glorious murder there.
Despite this, life's been good this last week or so. And I'm not just saying this because of Felicia's improvement in mood. Not to mention that yesterday I had caught her doodling on her dinner napkin – she was one step closer to painting again, I just knew it.
Ah, I'm getting off track again, aren't I? Sorry, I can't help it. There's a beautiful girl I've had my eye on for a while now, and I'm too shy to tell her. I knew if I acknowledged these feelings, it would only result in me hurting her. I'm not good with other people.
I always fuck things up because I don't know what to do when people get close. I push them away because I'm terrified of them pointing out the many faults in my character. I'm my harshest critic, but it kills me when people state the obvious. Everyone was just better off keeping me at an arm's length.
Isabel deserved better anyway.
Still, I could watch. Or text, that worked too. She really liked to text. I wasn't much of one, but the girl could literally make a conversation out of anything. I could text her the word 'tomato' and she'd go on for hours about how much she loved the fruit – this actually happened.
If only I hadn't escalated things by picking her up last week. Christ! What had I been thinking? Forget it, don't answer that. I wasn't thinking. Of all times for my flirty nature to come out, it just had to when I was the least emotionally ready.
Then again, when was I ever emotionally ready? I'm an impulsive and selfish person, but I've already decided that I wasn't going to pursue Isabel. We were friends, that's it. Si, friends. Even if she was gorgeous, and made my heart flutter with excitement, and all that other girly stereotypical crap romantic experiences you see on a sub-standard mid-day soap operas.
It's also probably best to acknowledge that this past week, I've gotten much better sleep. Isabel just had a habit of making all the negativity in my life seem less important, trivial even. She was sweet and kind, and went out of her way to make me want to smile, but I refrained from doing so.
She had even visited me at work yesterday just to chat on my lunch break, without Felicia mind you. That meeting had consisted of me sitting stiffly in my seat, bug-eyed as Isabel smiled and laughed and talked about who knows what. She had asked me about my day and other random questions. I guess I wasn't used to talking about these things, since I, uh, didn't have anyone to ask these things ever since Nonno's passing in May.
It was nice.
But that's all it would and could ever be.
SCrrrrrrreEEEEEEET!
Isabel blew her whistle to begin another drill. The way she strode on the pitch like she owned it and everyone's else's attention was mesmerizing to watch. Her high pony tail bounced with a sense of importance, but rather than the air of a Queen, she gave off a very familial vibe. The girls she had been put in charge of were her sisters. She wanted to see them all do their best, and although she was strict in her teachings, she was patient and knew every person's limit.
Catching my gaze, Isabel turned to smile and wave at me, revealing a heart-stopping smile full of straight white teeth.
Flustered, I returned with a weak smile of my own before ducking my head. I fumbled through my phone and pretended that I was texting someone when in reality I was actually just looking over messages from a previous conversation of ours.
God spited me by having a particular text with a lot of heart emojis pop-up.
That's my life for you.
As another dribbling drill took place, Lud paced up and down the pitch with a clip-board in his inhumanely large hands. He was noting down the skill-sets of each player. When he paused to stand in front of Felicia for too large of a time, I cleared my throat and channelled my anger.
I needed to be intimidating if I wanted to set some ground rules here.
"Hey, Lud!" I bellowed in a surprisingly deep voice. You all know how loud I can be, but whenever I'm confronted with someone larger than myself, my voice tends to raise a few octaves. I wasn't a complete coward, but I could be at times. Just another wonderful trait about me, huh?
Lud paused and politely nodded his head in acknowledgement. Oh please, he was just trying to get on my good side. He wasn't fooling me. "Ja?" he replied lightly, slightly out of breath.
"Keep your eyes on the ball," I warned, cocking my head over in Felicia's general direction.
Lud swallowed heavily and nodded again, this time more curtly and stiffly, like a marionette doll being strangled by an immense pleasure to please. It gave me great pleasure when he stumbled forward to observe the next set of players.
"OH! DRAMA!" Gillian cackled into her microphone. Everyone ignored her, as per usual.
The try-out carried on for another half hour before Isabel blew her whistle.
"All right," Isabel shouted, loud enough for me to hear her all the way from the bleachers. It had such a pleasant echo, commanding, and yet inspiring. I would follow her anywhere if ordered to. She was the perfect leader – charming, charismatic, and most important of all, compassionate.
"It's the end of the try-out and you know what the means!" Isabel grinned and cupped a hand over her ear, waiting for the rest of the girls to fill in the gaps.
"World Cup!" the other girls shouted in excitement.
"That's right!" Isabel winked. "But, since this is our last official try-out before I post the final roster online, I thought we'd make this game a little more special than usual. The winning team won't have net duty for an entire month! How about that? Does that make you guys want to give it your all?"
The girls erupted in an enthusiastic chorus. Isabel was extremely talented at bringing out emotions in others.
"OH!" Gillian squeaked. The uneven rasps of her microphone made everyone wince in pain. "Since Edel finally decided to show up," she paused to smirk wickedly at a girl with a bobbed blonde ponytail and wired spectacles, "I'll sit this one out and act as commentator."
"Actually," Isabel intervened. "I was thinking that you could step in as goalie for me. I haven't gotten to play much this summer. I want to kick some butt too! You can still be a commentator, though. We all know that you can scream louder than anyone here," she teased.
Gillian appeared satisfied with that answer and didn't offer any protest.
"Who'd be your partner then?" Felicia asked softly. It was already a given that she'd be teaming up with Lud. They had done so since the beginning of the summer.
Unbeknownst to me, Isabel had already thought out this plan beforehand "Why, he's right over there…"
Confused, I looked up when Isabel came jogging over to me. Suddenly, her red cleats became far more interesting to ogle at rather than her electric green eyes that prodded into my personal comfort zone, begging for mine to meet their steady gaze.
She was just so intimate in her expressions. I couldn't handle it without letting my thoughts trail off elsewhere.
"Romano?" Isabel greeted, like a mother attempting to console and get the attention of a child with stranger-anxiety.
"Uh, y-yeah?" I cleared my throat.
Isabel took this as an invitation to come closer. She stood in front of the bench I was sitting on, which was the lowest one nearest to the gravel track wiring around the football pitch.
"You've avoided playing with us for long enough!" Isabel declared boldly. My stomach sank. Not this again. "It's about time that you join us, si?" she continued. "Enough excuses, I had Lud bring an extra set of clothes just for you, so you can't say that you're unable to participate now! We're partners in this whether you like it or not!"
"Isa," I groaned. "I've already told you. It's been so long since I've last played. I'm probably not any good."
Before I knew it, Isabel had already grabbed my wrist and was tugging me onto the side of the field. Lud opened his gym bag and held a spare jersey in his hand. The face he held made it seem as if he were offering his soul to the devil. I wasn't going to bite him, you know. I may not like him, but I could be civil, damn it.
"We won't know that until you try. Felicia wants you to do this too, and you don't want to disappoint her, right?" Isabel chimed, knowing I would be unable to give a solid rebuttal to this.
Either way, my head was still trying to process that Isabel was nearly holding my hand. Black dots spotted in my vision.
Grumbling, I wrenched the jersey from Lud. "What about shoes?" I deadpanned.
Isabel hummed and procured a spare set of cleats from her own gym bag. "I brought my brother's old pair from when he was our age. These should do," she said as she eye-balled the black sneakers I had on.
"You planned this, didn't you?" I narrowed my eyes at her.
Isabel giggled.
Lud pointed towards the gym. "The changerooms are open. Just don't go through the emergency exit or you'll set off the alarm," he instructed.
I sighed and shrugged indifferently. Meanwhile, Felicia was literally bouncing up and down. It made me wonder if Gillian had given her too much Gatorade again.
"Finally, fratello! This is going to be so much fun! Oh, and don't think that Luddy and I will go easy on you," Felicia exclaimed. "We've been practicing day and night at the park!"
Lud smiled proudly to himself.
"Watch it, Feli," I smirked and looked over my shoulder. "Don't let your pride get the best of you. You'll see for yourself what it's like to come second best for once very soon."
Felicia pouted. I didn't blame her. That had been a pretty petty jab. Being Nonno's favourite had always made her feel guilty, unnecessary as it was. I hadn't meant to say something like that, but in times of uncertainty, I had no filter and blurted out whatever came to mind.
I had no choice but to carry on. Keh, just walking into the school put me in an even sourer mood.
I changed quickly into the matching black t-shirt and shorts, waiting until I was on the field before I put on the cleats Isa had given me. I didn't have any shin-pads or socks like the others, so I would have to be extra careful not to hurt myself.
When I walked back onto the pitch, they were all waiting for the game to begin.
With the intent to shit-disturb, Gillian announced my rival. "And here he is, ladies and gents. The untouchable Casanova with a glare mean enough to kill and wet a gal's pants simultaneously! The ever grumpy, ROMANO! AHHHHH! AHHHH!" she then moved on to making weird, hoarse sounds with her throat as if to imitate a cheering crowd.
"What did I say about that megaphone?" Lud lectured Gillian, confiscating the item from her. "You're going to make everyone deaf."
Gillian's whines were near intelligible, that's just how high-pitched and scratchy they were.
"See, they all fit you very well!" Isabel pointed out.
Well? I had had to roll up the hem of the shorts several times!
Isabel ran over to grab my wrist again; she was ensuring that I wasn't going to bolt away. Truth is, if Lud hadn't confiscated the megaphone from Gillian, I would have likely lost my temper – big surprise. But, since there were a lot of girls here, most of whom were nice, I would cut back on my vulgarity.
It wasn't the same as with that French chick from last week. Thankfully, she didn't go to these type of things. Marianne had a special talent for getting on my nerves.
Point is, I treated women cordially like Nonno had taught me to, but had added my own unique spin to said philosophy. Once I got to know someone, I treated them in reciprocation to how they treated me.
For now, I had to make sure to set a good example, especially in front of a crowd of bellas so large.
Isabel let go of my wrist once we were back at the center of the field, although she kept sending me smug glances as if to say: "I've got you now, eheh!"
Yes, I had memorized Isabel's laugh so that it replayed in my head accurately without much effort on my part. It was a very distinct laugh – like the chimes of a bell except there was a hint of playfulness to it rather than just mere softness.
Some girls glanced at me shyly, presumably the younger ones, while the older ones were blunter. Particularly this one girl – Kiki, I think that's what her name was (short for Feliksa). I had heard Felicia talk about how brutal and rough the senior was with her.
"Oh, like look at him! So handsome! I definitely see the family resemblance. They're both so delicate!" Kiki gushed.
"Delicate?" I muttered to myself in confusion.
A girl with light green eyes and a long brown braid shook her head in annoyance before offering me an explanation. She gave off an impression of being very timid and sweet. "I'd be amazed, if I were you," she said, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Kiki doesn't give many compliments. She likes stealing them all for herself. The name's Tori by the way, nice to meet you."
"Romano, but I'm sure you already know that," I smiled politely.
Tori rolled her eyes as Gillian screamed at Lud for taking away her voice: "I'm asserting my agency as a strong independent woman and my voice will not be taken from me, damn it!"
"No one's stopping you from talking normally," Lud retorted as he walked off to the side of the field with Gillian quick on his heels, like a blood hound. "Continue to test my patience, and I will ban you from practice. Siblings or not, you're…you're embarrassing me!" he said exasperatedly.
Gillian softened. "You really want to make a good impression on little Feli, huh?"
Lud fell silent.
"All right," Gillian filled in the gaps of her brother's stony expression. "I'll try to behave."
"Thank you."
When the two German siblings entered the pitch again, Isabel clapped her hands. "Okay! Now that everyone's here, let's get started. Get in pairs and pick your country. Gil, you man the net. And remember! There will be no net duty for a month for the winners of this game! I want to see everyone put in their best effort!"
"Poland!" Kiki and Tori declared.
"Taiwan!" Michelle and Mei shouted.
"Estonia! "Latvia!" Edel and Rachel said at the same time. "Uh, Estonia!" Rachel corrected.
"Italy!" Felicia shouted, waggling her brow at me in challenge.
I honestly didn't care. I would much rather prefer Felicia playing as Italy than Germany.
"Back up, losers!" Gillian announced, preparing to boot the ball down the field. "This puppy is going halfway across the globe!"
All the players reciprocated, going so far as to stand behind the half-field mark.
Isabel took her position beside me. "You don't want to play as Italy?" she asked me.
"No, Feli can have it," I replied. "Besides, you never got to play as Spain yet, have you? We can do that, um, if you want."
Isabel beamed. The sight of it sent flutters and tingles all over. "I would like that very much!"
"Spain, it is, then," I grunted. I was in this game to win and needed to focus. But first, to make things more interesting, I would let Felicia and her stupid potato partner score first. It wasn't out of courtesy, oh no. I wanted the final two teams to come down between Italy and Spain.
With a dramatic holler, Gillian punted the ball down the field. It nearly made it to the opposite net. I'll give the lunatic credit where it was deserved. She was an excellent athlete. The only reason why she wasn't trying out was because she had commitment issues and got bored easily, having the attention span of a gnat.
Isabel surged forward after the ball, while I stayed back.
"Felicia steals the ball from Tori, who seriously needs to work on her footwork!" Gillian bellowed, still dedicated towards announcing the events of the game.
"The little Italian cheetah passes to Lud, who swerves around Kiki and avoids a cheap elbow to the rib-cage. Lud passes back to Felicia. Oh shit, Felicia is coming right for me. I glare at her and try to spook her out - she prepares to kick the ball and – dissatisfied grunt - she scores and screams 'Italy' victoriously.
"How unawesome. Unfortunately, my genes have failed to make me tall like my stud of a brother, who totally would make a good match for the Italian cheetah. Lud gives me an evil scowl as he walks off with the Italian cheetah. I pout because I'm a very short goalie who can't jump very high."
"'You're supposed to narrate the game, not everything you do, dummkoph' shouts Lud as he continues to glare daggers at my awesomeness from behind the net."'
Satisfied that Felicia was in the next round, I grit my teeth in preparation. Gillian grabbed the ball from the holds of the orange meshing.
Isabel abruptly grabbed me by the shoulders, knocking me out of concentration. "What was that?!" she seethed, eyes narrowed in cold slits. "Roma, you didn't even go after them!"
"I wanted to let Feli get in first," I squeaked. Isabel was smouldering from head to toe, but she accepted my answer as appropriate. I didn't know how to react; I had never seen her get angry before.
As they always say, a person in a competition is never their true self. You develop a persona. Isabel just so happened to remind me of a blood-thirsty missionary.
Lips pursed in a thin line, she opted to grab me by the front of the jersey instead. "Roma, I know you're being courteous, but this is not the time to be a gentleman! This is a game! It's brutal. And I will not lose. You will make sure we win, si?"
Danger curled around Isabel's person, clouding in the air like red hot fury.
Weakly, I nodded. I felt like I was in the presence of a beast who threatened to charge at me the moment I said or did something wrong. "Yes. There's a reason I let them in," I said wryly. "I want us to be the final two teams."
Isabel calmed down. "Oh," she smirked, roughly patting my back. "I like how you think. But don't let them off so easy again. I have a reputation to uphold."
"Yes, captain." We exchanged smug glances before readying ourselves for Gillian to boot the ball down the field.
I was the first person to reach the ball. I stopped and took control of it, taking note that the other players were still several paces away. The closest one was Kiki, and she seemed to have the intention of knocking me right off my feet.
I sighed – this was it. It was time to channel all that I've learned over the years. It's been so long since I've felt the soft tap of the ball; heard the whoosh of the air when you kicked it; or smelled the earthy scent of clumped soil, paint, and the rust of the goal posts.
I clenched my fists; Nonno, this is for you. I'm having fun. I'm letting myself relax. I hope this is what you want for me.
Everything seemed to slow down as Kiki dove in for a slide tackle. In a swift brush, I feigned the ball to the right and danced out of the way.
I picked up speed and began to dribble down the pitch, head up in search of Isabel. I swerved by Tori just as easily, leaving her behind with a satisfied chuckle.
"Wow!" Mei exclaimed as she sprinted to catch up with me. She was far behind now. "He's fast!"
"My god!" Michelle wheezed, long pigtails swinging. "His foot movements are even better than Feli's! How is that even possible?!"
My chest swelled with pride I had long forgotten.
"Roma!" Isabel screamed, sprinting parallel to me on the pitch. "Over here!"
I immediately passed the ball to her and made a beeline for the net. We didn't have to communicate anything; we had both seen and done enough gameplay to know what happened next.
Isabel dribbled to the far corner, and then kicked the ball high in the air. It fell down in a smooth, languid arc. I met the ball at the far-left goalpost and headbutted it into the net.
"SPAIN!" Isabel called out.
"Using his stubborn head, Romano scores! I let him, though!" Gillian jealously crossed her arms. "Hell if I'm going to jump that high and risk stretching a muscle."
Isabel bounded over and joined me as I sat next to Felicia and Lud behind the net, where we waited for the next round to start.
"Great job!" Isabel commended. We gave each other high-fives, still out of breath from all the running we had just done.
"Nice job, Roma," Felicia smiled sweetly, patting me on the back. "Just remember that the real game starts when you face off against us."
Lud straightened his posture, if that was even possible. "Don't fraternize with the enemy, Feli. We can save the formalities for when they have to shake our hands with the weight of defeat resting on their shoulders," he said stiffly.
I didn't have to say anything. Isabel had it all under control.
Isabel leaned over to glare at Lud. "Hahaha!" she laughed, although it didn't quite reach her eyes. "We'll see how confident you are once we rub that smugness of yours into the ground. Remember that time you faceplanted after trying to slide tackle me? Ha! As if you're fast enough to catch up to me… and Roma too! We won't spare you any mercy – this game is ours Beilschmidt. The only benefit I'll give you is a quick defeat."
Felicia smirked. "Don't listen to her, Luddy. We've got this, trust me."
"Hmmph!"
"On the contrary, Isa. Let them boast. They needed all the confidence they can get, pointless as it is," I leered, waggling a teasing finger at Felicia, who stuck out her tongue at me.
For the sake of the game, the Spain and Italy teams refused to converse any further. Actions spoke more than words, and winning was what Isa and I intended to do.
We were a good team. I dribbled and ran, and she scored most of our points, although I got a goal here and there too.
The last round came before we knew it.
The previous round before had been a mix of Italy or Spain scoring first. But now, it was all down to Italy and Spain.
Isabel and Felicia waited at the half-field line, whereas Lud and I sprinted after the ball. He was in hot pursuit and I was several paces ahead of him.
Suck on this, kraut – I allowed a shy grin on my face, waiting for Lud to come closer so I could make a fool out of him by dribbling to the side.
Except that didn't happen.
Lud slide tackled me, sending us both down in an awkward scramble on the ground.
"Fucking bastard," I swore under my breath.
Lud revealed a sly expression before getting up and dribbling ahead, face now set as strict as a drill sergeant. "Feli, get in position," he commanded.
Felicia was a little occupied in a battle of shoulders and shoves with Isabel, who wasn't backing down in the slightest. Their tight friendship meant nothing here.
Before he could send the ball ahead to Felicia, I returned Lud's asshole behaviour by slide-tackling him back.
CLUNK!
"AHA!" I cried out. "Not so smug now, are we?"
"Ungh!" Lud groaned, head rattled from the harsh fall. The rule was that you had to get the ball first while slide-tackling – you couldn't go for a person's legs.
"Isa, get open!" Ball now at my feet, I punted it a few paces ahead of me, wanting to clear a lot of distance with each kick.
I had to stop when Felicia beat Isabel to the punch. She met me halfway, feet crouched and ready to anticipate my next move.
Felicia's lips curled into a vengeful sneer. Her brown eyes communicated a lust for avenging her fallen partner.
"UH-OH! A SIBLING SHOW DOWN!" Gillian yelled in amusement.
"Whatcha going to do Feli?" I teased, stopping the ball at my feet. "Go right? Oops!" I swerved to the left.
Felicia lagged a few paces behind, but caught up just as easily. "AH-AH-AH!" I provoked her again, dodging her attempt to steal the ball from me. "Haven't you heard the saying: brother knows best?"
Much to Felicia's fury, I began to juggle the ball in the air, balancing it with my thighs and the tip of my foot. "Tch! Tch! You're still rusty next to me, even after all the extra practice you've had."
"OH NO, ISA FELL!" Felicia exclaimed.
"WHAT?!"
WHIP!
Wind blew past my ear as Felicia stole the ball from me and took off towards the net.
"OH, YOU'RE SO DEAD, MISSY!" I screamed after Felicia. I received laughter in response. So did the rest of our audience, who thought Felicia tricking me was worthy snapchat material.
Gillian began to panic about having her precious face ruined –Felicia kicked the ball quite hard for her size.
Felicia wound her foot to kick the ball, but never made contact with it.
Like a bull, Isabel came sprinting out of nowhere. She took the ball for herself and made a swift circular movement to put herself out of Felicia's immediate path.
Lud scrambled after her, but ended up committing too much energy. He looked like a fool as he dove to the right and missed Isabel entirely.
Isabel was now only a few feet away from the net. The game was in our hands. If she scored, we would win.
"SHOOT! SHOOT!" I screamed.
Isabel's tongue waggled out of her mouth in concentration. Her feet thundered against the grass-bed as she was just approaching the edges of the penalty box.
"Well, folks, it was a nice life while it lasted," Gillian sighed. "Here, I die. Death by ball."
In a swift kick, Isabel sent the ball flying into the air. It flew and continued to soar higher and higher into the air much to everyone's panic. It was well over the net now. In fact, it was heading straight for the parking lot.
CRASH!
The ball collided head first with the windshield of someone's truck, setting off its alarm.
Every froze, unsure of what to do.
"Fuck," Gillian bluntly said what everyone was thinking.
Isabel stopped, cheeks coated in crimson. "Well," she muttered sheepishly. "I guess I got too excited… looks like no one wins…"
"What do we do?!" Gillian screeched. "Oh man! Oh man! You dented the front bumper!"
There were probably much more responsible things to do, such as waiting for the owner of the truck to get there so that we could get his insurance and pay for the damages.
Unfortunately, Gillian had the brilliant suggestion to run away, and since mob mentality wins in times of uncertainty, we all followed. "Everyone quick! Into the school. Retreat! Retreat! Grab everything you can!"
Gillian then proceeded to grab Rachel and throw the small, stammering Latvian over her shoulders. "Don't worry, chickee. I got you!"
"Well, don't just stand there! Let's go!" Isabel shrieked. "Everyone inside. Take down the nets! Get the bottles! Get the ball bag! Get a freshman, heck I don't know! Ay! I messed up really, really bad!"
Lud and Felicia rushed to take down the net, the former muttering about how ludicrous and irresponsible we were all acting. No one cared.
I helped Isabel with the water bottles and medic kit, while Tori grabbed the ball bag next to me.
We eventually poured into the gymnasium's front area like wasps fleeing from smoke, gasping for breath.
Isabel awkwardly offered me a water bottle. "I drank from it, but you can waterfall if you want…"
I accepted it from her gratuitously, pouring the stream of water into my mouth. It was glorious.
"That was close!" Kiki huffed and slumped to the ground. "Tori, I'm going to need you to carry me home. I can't sweat anymore. It'll give me dandruff."
"Carry yourself," Tori snapped. "I'm not your personal pony."
"You had no problem carrying me in here," Kiki murmured through pouted lips.
Gillian poked her head out through the doors in front of the gym. "I don't think the owner will be coming out for a while. If we go home now, we'll be fine."
"Tell me again, why I agreed to this?" Lud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Oh hush," Gillian chided. "The dent isn't even that big. You can probably pop it right back up with enough pressure."
"That's not the point!"
Isabel cleared her throat, garnering everyone's attention. "Well, rough endings aside, that concludes today's try-out! I'll post the team online on our Facebook page this Friday. If you didn't make it, feel free to still come to practice to improve your skills. Have a great day everyone! Take care!"
With that said, we all piled into the locker rooms to get changed.
I refused to share a locker room with Lud, so I went to the nearest washroom instead. Great, just great. Now I would have to wash his uniform and give him something as a form of thanks.
My pride refused to have it any other way.
…
Isabel's POV:
Things seemed to be okay, and by okay, I mean no one's stormed into the school screaming bloody murder after us 'brats'. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time that I've damaged a vehicle playing football.
I was the last one in the change room. Everyone thought I was inspecting the place, making sure that no one had left anything behind as it was my responsibility to lock up the place afterwards.
In truth, I still wasn't comfortable changing in front of people. Even now, as I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. My ribs were sticking out slightly, my wrists were bony, and my thighs should be much thicker than what they were now.
I sighed and tried to retain my composure. How many times would I slip up before I finally got rid of this disease? Because that's what an eating disorder was; a disease of the mind that invades and ruins every aspect of your day-to-day life.
I wanted to get better, and yet, I didn't want to eat in the fear of gaining weight. Can you see my predicament? Can you see how silly doing something like this to yourself is? It's not worth it, believe me. There are better ways of losing weight, and most of the time, us girls don't even need to lose weight.
You lose a part of yourself when you give in to this culture that enforces a thin, near impossible body type that the majority of people will never be able to attain. I was naturally curvy, and no matter how hard I tried, I hated this about myself.
I was trying really hard not to, but I had fed into this 'ideal' body type more than my actual body.
Now, I was dealing with the repercussions of it.
Someone knocked on the change room's door. The hollow clacking of it made me jump a little and give a startled gasp.
"Isabel?" Romano opened the door slightly, but politely didn't poke his head into the room.
"Hmmm?" I squeaked. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from bursting out into tears. I usually needed a couple of minutes to myself after inspecting my appearance in a mirror. Every time, it was a given that it would pull out a strong emotional reaction from me.
"The others are all ready to go," Romano told me. "We'll be waiting outside. I can, um, stay out here if it makes you more comfortable, though?"
"It's fine," I lied. "I'm changing now, it's all good! I'll be out in a minute, kay? I'll meet up with you guys there."
"All right." Romano shut the door.
I waited until I no longer heard the soft patter of his footsteps before I grabbed my face with both hands and let out a choked, dry sob. Everything was just too much. I felt helplessly overwhelmed and ashamed of myself.
My eyes squeezed shut and a spell of dizziness quickly overcame me. Sweat pricked at the back of my neck. My whole face burned in embarrassment.
I hadn't eaten enough this morning, and now I felt sick. My muscles were beginning to cramp. The water I had forced down didn't do anything to alleviate this excruciating pain; it was a punishment for not nourishing myself properly.
You'd think I'd listen to what my body was telling me. Most of the time, I only listened to what I saw. Nothing else mattered because I would always be thinking about how long it was until I ate next, how much I had eaten, and how long I would have to work out to burn off the food. And that's not even mentioning the constant paralyzing fear I had of people staring at me like how I stared at myself.
"Ay," I murmured softly as I hefted up my right leg over a wooden bench. I began to massage my calf, praying for the cramp to ride out quickly. I buried my head into my knee and continued to search for a solution.
When I found one, I didn't like it.
Gillian must have dropped a granola bar, as there was one resting on the bench next to me.
At the time, I hadn't realized that it had been left behind on purpose. My friends had a funny way of expressing their concern without directly addressing the subject.
I hadn't told them about it, but oh, did they know.
It's amazing how the world can be giving you so many obvious cues, and yet you still choose to ignore them out of sheer stubbornness.
The cramp miraculously went away two minutes after I had finished the granola bar. Usually, I ate slowly to draw out the eating process, but my body was hungry and needed to fuel immediately.
I didn't have much time left to spare either way, so I quickly left the changeroom after that. It was strange, almost like I was floating as I closed the door behind me and entered the empty hallway.
I was acting like I hadn't just had a panic attack, and soon enough, I'd have to force who knows how many smiles on my face until I finally got home.
Ah! There I was again, getting all depressing and negative! Actually, now that I think of it, I feel a lot better now. I had just aired out my dirty thoughts, and was putting them behind me.
I hummed lightly under my breath to compensate for the unnerving silence in the school. The soft swish of my flip-flops echoed ominously, and I kept having to turn back to make sure that no one was following me.
The girls usually met at the front of the school, outside of the office, so I headed over there first. I wasn't thinking, and didn't realize that that would be the last place the team would go after the trucl incident just twenty minutes ago. The office was in plain view of the parking lot.
Rather than seeing my girls in the front entrance of the school, I was met with another old omen. Panic crept up in my throat. My shoulders sagged disbelievingly; I couldn't have been more flustered and angry with how things were working out for me today.
Sitting on a bench underneath a shade tree were Rodereich, and Liza, or 'Elizabeta' as she now referred to herself as. I recognized the neat, meticulous strands of ebony hair save for one clump that liked to stick out, the straight, rigid posture, and the wired spectacles perched on his pointed nose.
The sight of him sent shivers down my spine. If I were a dog, the shackles on my back would have been raised.
Liza was better than Rodereich. He was no good for her. He could be charming when he wanted to be, but deep down, he was rotten; stuck-up; malicious. He thought the whole world should bow at his feet. To see Liza willingly holding his hand and lean against his shoulder was a betrayal to the strong girl I once knew.
Liza never used to wear skirts, nor did she keep her long, chest-nut hair pinned back with a hair-clip. These things were all Rodereich's doing.
He was controlling, but his charisma blinded people to his abusive nature. When I dated him, he had somehow manipulated me into thinking that the only thing that mattered was his approval. History was repeating itself, but since I wasn't very close with Liza, it wasn't my place to say anything.
I would have to tell Gillian about this later, though. She was Liza's best friend and had the best chance of getting through to Liza, because lord knows how stubborn that Hungarian could be.
I stopped short a few paces from them. Although, the damage had already been done. Normally, I did my best to avoid Rodereich in the hallways. Now that I was here, however, he was going to say something. He always had something to say, and it was never positive.
"Looking for something, Isabel?" Rodereich spoke in a soft tone. His eyes told a different story. They were narrowed in a disgusted leer.
I straightened and readjusted the duffel bag hanging on my shoulder. The reason he hated me was not a valid one, and I absolutely wouldn't let him get to me. Maybe if I set an example for Liza, she would follow.
"Hey!" I replied cheerfully. "Nice morning, isn't it? I'm actually just looking for my team, but I guess they're not here, aha!"
Liza smiled at me. There was no reason for there to be tension between the three of us out of simple pettiness. Rodereich and I hadn't been together for years. I'm not even sure middle school romances counted for anything, anyway.
What counted now was getting Liza away from the toxic person sitting next to her. I couldn't force her, but if I could just show her who he was before it was too late…
"It's quite lovely, isn't it? Rodereich always knows the best places to sit at," Liza mused happily. She turned to give Rodereich a bemused glance, affection sparkling in her eyes.
I was making a strong effort to look anywhere but at Rodereich.
"I didn't know there was a try-out going on today," Liza continued. "Do you have the team put together?"
"Almost! The roster will be put up by the end of the week! I was surprised you didn't show up, Liza. We still could really use some mid-fielders. The younger ones are fast, but they get knocked off their feet a lot more than you do."
Liza shrugged. "I guess I just lost interest. I wish you guys the best of luck in your season. Say hi to Gillian for me if she's there!"
I nodded. At the same time, I swallowed down a sour taste in my mouth. Why couldn't Liza tell Gillian this herself? What was stopping her? Liza loved sports too. What had changed? Who was she?
Rodereich sniffed indignantly. This grated my nerves, and I lost my cool a lot faster than I had initially anticipated I would. It infuriated me how passive-aggressive he was.
"Is there something on your mind Rodereich?" I asked sweetly.
Rodereich stuck up his nose and irritably re-crossed his ankles. "Yes, actually. The foul odour of your 'equipment' is making my eyes water. I'd appreciate it if you left this space immediately. This is mine and Elizabeta's time alone. If you had any manners, you'd have already realized this. It's quite rude, actually."
Liza laughed nervously. I don't think she understood how mean Rodereich was being. "It's all right," she chided. "My cleats used to stink too back when I played. It's not that bad. Often enough, you don't even realize it."
Rodereich's temper flared. He had a strange way of expressing his anger with a stony look. Probably having never seen it before, Liza was put off by it, but she didn't offer anything else to the conversation. She didn't know what to do. Likely, she was trying to come up with an excuse for Rodereich's own rude behaviour.
"This is our special time together, Elizabeta. I won't stand for any interruptions. Especially from someone who has no problem poking into everyone else's business," he muttered with an air of self-importance.
I held my ground. Liza looked between the both of us, not comprehending how Rodereich had just made an inexcusable biphobic comment.
My smile grew wider; more dangerously.
"You prick," Romano growled from behind me. He was speaking to Rodereich, and was glaring so intensely that I had half the mind to grab his wrist just in case he decided to lunge forward. He must have come looking for me since I had taken too long.
What scared me is that I didn't know how much of the conversation Romano had heard.
"Is that any way how you speak to someone?" Romano spat. "Get off you high-horse and apologize. The only person being rude here is your ignorant ass."
A lump in my throat formed. I don't know how, but Romano had already picked up on the tension in the air, something that Liza had yet to read.
"I'm obligated to do no such thing," Rodereich huffed.
Liza gaped, conflicted over what to do. She was starting to grasp that there was something more than the shallow surface of our words. This was a grudge and outright attack on my and Romano's sexuality, even if Rodereich didn't know about the latter.
"The hell you are. I don't know who raised you, but a real man with real manners would never look down on someone and dismiss them so easily. You're a real piece of work, you know that? Actually, you know what? Fuck you. I can see now that you've already made up your mind, and I'm not even going to bother arguing with you."
Romano then turned to look at me. "Don't listen to him, Isa. His words mean nothing."
"Excuse you," Rodereich pursed his thin lips into an angry line. "I'm not the one shouting like a mongrel and donning out insults left and right. No less, in front of my girlfriend. Do not make me repeat myself: take your crude vulgarity and leave. It's not welcome here."
"Oh, you're really asking for it now," Romano growled. "Someone should really teach you to keep your filthy mouth shut. I don't see a sign here with your name on it." He moved forward, and that's when I finally grabbed his wrist and shook my head.
I silently communicated to him that it wasn't worth it. The fury in his amber eyes didn't die down, but his posture relaxed considerably. Liza stared at us wide-eyed, like we were the problems in this situation.
"Roma, let's just go. It's obvious we're not welcome here."
"Fine with me. You and I both don't need this shit. Here," Romano took the duffle bag from me. "I'll carry this. You look really tired. I haven't been exercising all morning, you have."
I gratefully let him take the extra load off my shoulders.
Rodereich was quickly forgotten as we turned on our heels to leave. That obviously didn't settle with him.
"Bunch of fools," he told Liza.
"Isa, so help me God, I'm going to beat the living shit out of that bastard," Romano growled as he held open the door for me.
He glared at Rodereich like a wolf would to a bunny that was constantly biting and pulling on his tail. I had no doubt in my mind that Romano could fight Rodereich and win. Thing is, that would only be giving in to his elaborate mind games.
Even if Romano didn't know about my past relationship with Rodereich, anyone could see how foully he had just treated me – us.
"Don't," I sighed. "You can't change the minds of people like that. It's best to just leave them alone, you know? I don't let things like this get me down. You shouldn't either."
Romano wasn't done with his rant.
"What about that girl, huh? She just sat there like a total ditz and didn't say a word," Romano retorted.
"She'll realize with time that he's not right for her. At least I hope…"
I spared one last glance at Liza, and what I saw angered me. No wonder Gillian hasn't been able to reach her. Liza's phone was presently sitting in the front pocket of Rodereich's blouse.
He had done the same thing with me: for 'safekeepings' as he liked to play it off as. You trusted him, and he made you believe that it was perfectly acceptable for him to read your texts.
It wasn't. That's a telltale sign of a controlling, manipulative partner. Don't ever think of it otherwise.
What little hope I had for Liza was gone. Elizabeta had taken her place.
"Hey, Liza!" I called out in the heat of the moment.
Liza turned and offered me a meek smile in acknowledgement. "Yeah?"
"You might want to check your phone," I seethed with a bared smile. "Gillian's been trying to reach you all morning. She's here right now, but you probably didn't know that, huh? Take care," I finished bitterly.
Perhaps this was petty of me, but it felt good to see Rodereich's face flush in annoyance. He had some explaining to do considering how shocked Liza had appeared at this revelation.
I smugly turned my back on them, letting the click of the doors shutting close off our dispute. It was a small victory on my part.
"Okay, what the hell?" Romano asked me as we strode through the hallways, heading for the back entrance of the school where everyone was waiting for us. "There's something extremely fishy about that guy."
"He's the biphobic ex-boyfriend I mentioned from before," I answered. "You're right. Rodereich's a real charmer, isn't he? I don't know what Liza sees in him."
"Maybe it's what she doesn't see in him. I wanted to step in and say something. You saw it too, didn't you? I mean, you'd have to. Of course, I could just be pandering to stereotypes, but last time I checked, hardly any guy I know owns a bright pink phone…"
I didn't know what to say. If it was that obvious…
"Rodereich, eh? What a fucking stuck-up name. It suits him."
I chuckled lightly at that. "Like I said before, there's nothing much we can do. Liza's got to realize at some point that he's not a nice person, far from it."
"Wrong. I could totally run back there and sucker punch him in the nose," Romano offered, albeit teasingly. The lop-sided grin on his face made my heart hammer uncomfortably in my chest. Or even the way that his hair curled more from sweat – he was just so attractive to me, everything about him.
"Like that'd solve anything!" I smiled. A sense of empowerment jolted in my stomach, rising into my chest. I hadn't felt this confident in a long time. Having the last word over Rodereich did wonders for my mood.
"True. But it'd feel good," Romano grudgingly assented. "It'd sure teach him a lesson for talking to you like that, let alone anyone."
"In case you didn't know, I can handle myself just fine!" I said as I puffed out my cheeks in a pout. "My whole family refers to me as a bull; poke at my temper long enough and I'll explode with rage and destroy everything in my path. Sometimes… that includes people too."
"Well, fuck. Remind me never to get on your bad side. Heck, I wouldn't even want to be on the opposite team of you in a competition. You just have such a determined look in your eyes, like you know what you want and will do anything to get it. It's both terrifying and cool as shit."
Waggling my eyebrows, I smirked at Romano. Of course, with my luck he didn't read between the lines.
"Let's just hurry," I told him. "The others are probably wondering where we are."
Romano and I walked in silence on the rest of the trip back, occasionally butting shoulders with each other. It was nice. He was one of the few people in this world where I didn't feel the need to keep up a conversation with him out of nervousness.
Silence could be nice if you were comfortable enough with the person.
We found Lud, Felicia and Gillian sitting at a picnic table outside of the science wing.
Gillian, rather than being her eccentric, shit-disturbing self was checking her phone. She frantically paced back and forth in agitation, ignoring Lud's questions about her peculiar behaviour.
She was waiting for a text that would never come.
…
Later that night
…
Romano's POV:
I got home from my evening shift at ten PM, and had made fort at the living room couch with Felicia. She was busy typing away at her phone, likely texting the oaf across the lot from us.
That reminds me, I still had to wash his jersey and do something to make up for his kindness. Ugh, but that meant talking to him. I'd probably just leave a free pizza on his doorstep or something. His lunatic sister had a large enough appetite that I might even have to leave two.
Oh well. That wasn't what was on my mind right now. What happened today with Isa and that stuck-up asshole had really done a number on me. She said she was fine when we had parted ways for the day, but I couldn't be so sure.
Didn't all women say they were fine when in reality they could be anything less?
It was that doubt that made me want to do something. Should I text her? No, because then it would be hard to tell how she was really feeling. Call her…? Oh god, that was the right thing to do, but that didn't mean I had to like it.
I stared at the television screen blankly. There was some sort of hair product commercial playing, and the actor's long brown curls immediately made me think of Isa. See, we were even close enough for nicknames.
Fuck it all, I'm doing it. Attracted to her or not, I still wanted to make sure that she was all right.
As I stood up from the couch, Felicia giggled.
"It's about time, Roma," she remarked. "Go, call her. You can use my room. I thought there was something off with her too."
"And how in the hell did you know what I'm about to do?!" I snapped.
Felicia merely gave me a cryptic look before resuming with her texting.
"Ugh, you're so weird!" I huffed. "Who are you, and what have you done with my innocent little sister?"
"I think you mean psychic," Felicia retorted as I reluctantly stormed into her room and slammed the door shut.
"And I'm not innocent. If you'd let me work too and give yourself some time off, you'd realize that I've grown up a lot without having you here. I love you, but I just wish you'd stop babying me sometimes…"
…
Isabel's POV:
"Ouch," I muttered to myself.
I was leaning against the wooden frame of my bed, legs stretched out as far as humanely possible. My calves were cramping again, a side effect from working out and not eating enough afterwards. This was my second time today, and yet, my brain had a convenient habit of coming up with all kinds of justifications other than the real reason at hand.
I had a large water bottle on my bedside. Of course, drinking from it did nothing to relieve these severe muscle contractions. Sometimes, I would lose sleep over them; I would barely move and my muscles would constrict in protest.
I really needed to listen to my body. More than that, I knew I needed to treat it better, but the sinister thoughts at the back of my mind were winning the fight today. Was it even much of a fight anymore? Ay, I don't know.
I already felt pretty miserable as it was. The small dinner I had made my stomach bloat. It was so large and… poofy! Not fat!
Still, I didn't dare to look at myself in a mirror. I was uncomfortable even in the loose pyjamas I was wearing to hide this. I bloated every time I had food now because my system wasn't used to processing it.
I shouldn't have worked out when I got home. What happened today with Rodereich really stressed me out, though. I needed a distraction, and running helped keep my mind off things.
Afterwards, I had napped all afternoon. Henrique made a small dinner, but as usual, we didn't eat together. I took what I wanted, and ate upstairs in my room, privately.
Even in the place where I felt most comfortable, I was still uncomfortable. I had draped my shower towel over the mirror, but the bloated and discomforting feeling usually didn't go away for hours.
I almost considered going to sleep for the night, as it would mean waking up to a flatter stomach and far less worries and negative thoughts.
Henrique, on the other hand, had a much different idea.
I jolted when he abruptly knocked on my door. "Isa," he said in a scolding tone. "Can I come in? I'm beginning to think that I live with a ghost. Did something happen today? You're being awfully quiet."
"One minute," I called back.
I hugged a pillow to my stomach and folded a comforter over my waist before allowing him in. My house was frigid in temperature because of the AC. If I wanted to feel warmth, there was our backyard deck and pool to enjoy for hot summer afternoons. I can't remember the last time I was able to wear a swimsuit without panicking and changing back into looser, safer clothes.
"You can come in now," I sighed.
Henrique padded into the room in his evening slippers. His shoulder length brown curls were already gelled up and moussed for the following day.
He was very proud of his hair, and reminded me of a girl more often than not with his overly dramatic beauty routine. If I wasn't in such an odd mood, I would have already begun teasing him for it. Apparently, all the girls at his university fought with each other just to touch it when they ran sorority events.
A tinge of jealously coiled at the back of my throat, a putrid lump that had no intention of going away anytime soon. Henrique was thin and could eat anything he wanted without a care in the world – it just wasn't fair.
His green eyes narrowed when he spotted me curled up in a vulnerable ball. He sat on the foot of my bed. When I didn't say anything, he pursed his lips in careful contemplation.
I winced.
"You didn't eat much for dinner today," he remarked bluntly.
"I'm not feeling well," I stubbornly retorted.
"Isa! Enough! You know that bullshit doesn't work with me anymore!" Henrique snapped. I fell silent almost immediately. It was worth a try if it meant him possibly leaving me alone. I had my highs and I had my lows throughout the day – right now, I was experiencing a low.
Henrique inhaled sharply, calming himself before he spoke. This was a very sensitive topic with me and he had to be very careful.
"You're not eating again," he continued. "I thought we were done with this. You told me you were getting better. These past two weeks you've worked out way too much and have eaten barely anything at all. I know I said I'd trust you, and that's why I have to say something now. You're slipping again, sis. Don't you realize that? I can't… I can't watch you do this to yourself anymore."
Tears pricked at my eyes.
This wasn't the first time he's said this to me. The first time he had found out about my eating disorder, I had fainted right in front of him. He took me to the doctor. I had been ten pounds underweight.
I begged Henrique not to tell our parents, as they were never home anyway, and he had agreed on the promise that we would work together to fix my problem.
This has been going on for two years now. An eating disorder came in cycles. You recovered and slipped countless times. Just like my mood, it was full of ups and downs. The downs of eating more to fix your metabolism was that you gained a lot of weight before losing it again. That's the hardest thing to get through, and this time I was weak and chickened out the moment I noticed my arms and hips were getting bigger.
Then I wouldn't eat at all. Then I would be thin again, but in return, I would often lose a lot of hair. I was never thin enough to be hospitalized, but I wasn't exactly healthy either.
One time, I was partially successful. I had recovered and had gone through the weight gaining process successfully. My body stabilized, and I began to eat normally. A Victoria's secret model commercial had something to say about that, and triggered this same chain of events all over again. My body may have healed back then, but my mind had still been very much vulnerable, and I had given in.
I wasn't naturally built to be thin-thin. Sometimes, I realized this. Most of the time, however, I refused to. Irrationality was an inherent part of this disorder, this disease.
"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I can't help it."
"That's not what I want to hear, Isabel," Henrique replied, as patient as he could given the situation. "I don't want to do it, but I may have to tell Mom and Dad about this. This is the third time that we've had to go through this. I've been optimistic for long enough. I only want the best for you, and maybe you do need that extra help."
"Please, no!" I pleaded, surging forward. "Rique, don't! You know I'm trying. Sometimes… sometimes I just can't, all right!? It doesn't mean I like doing this to myself! Old habits are hard to break! You know what they'll do if they find out. They won't help me at all! They'll just send me off to some god forsaken facility, and then I'll never get to see you or my friends for so long! I'll grow painfully lonely, and it'll only make things worse. I need to be around people or else I'll go mad. Seeing people happy makes me happy!"
"But are you happy, sis? Are you really? You think that you're a good actor, but you're not. I can tell when your smile is real or not. You're suffering, and it kills me because I don't know what to do. How long have you not been eating again for?"
A sense of déjà vu crept over the room as I found a place under Henrique's arm. I hugged his waist, scared and uncertain. "Two weeks," I answered. "Maybe three."
Henrique stiffened. "And that's what worries me. You don't tell me anything, and I'm always left guessing how bad things are because you're always either out or holed up in your room. Perhaps telling Mom and Dad isn't the best way of going about this, but I've already accepted responsibility for this, for you, damn it. We're not doing nothing. I'm trying to understand, I really am, but I don't. You're a beautiful girl, and shouldn't ever have to worry about things like this. All I want is for you to get better."
"I do too."
We sat there in silence for a small bit.
"Isa?"
"Hmmm?"
"What made you first stop starving yourself? And don't you dare give me a roundabout answer like you usually do. I want you to really think about this. We both know the answer, but I think you need to be reminded of it."
I closed my eyes. "Well, other than you catching me fainting, I think it had most to do with the laundry detergent incident."
"And…"
I smiled faintly. "I was doing laundry, and was so distracted that I ended up checking the back label to see how many calories it was. I remember feeling ashamed, and also just laughing at the ridiculousness of it. It kept me going for seven months before I… you know…"
Henrique didn't need me to fill in the dots. "I'm glad we're on the same page. Okay, tell you what. I won't tell Mom and Dad this time. But, on a few conditions. One, you have to eat in the same room as me. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll look away. I just need to make sure that you're eating enough. Two, if you work out outside of practice, I have to be there to monitor you. And three, if you get worse, I'll have no choice but to tell Mom and Dad. I know it's hard, but I've seen you beat this illness before, and I'm putting my faith in you one last time. It's not about disappointing me either. I want you to do this for yourself."
I nodded my head, my cheeks still pressed up against his chest. "That's fair. And, you don't have to look away when I eat. I'll have to get used to eating in front of people and being comfortable with it. It's part of the recovery, yes?"
Henrique smiled in response and ruffled my hair. "There's dessert downstairs if you want? I'm going to go have some."
"Oh no, I'm okay!" I laughed weakly.
Henrique simply nodded his head in defeat, a tired expression on his face. He stood up from the bed and left my room, knowing that I would be slow to recover. He looked over his shoulder. "All right. If you want any, I'll leave it on the counter for a bit…"
I shrugged to hide how disappointed I was with myself. He was trying so hard, and cared so much. Why couldn't I just make him happy? Why did I have to worry him – or others for that matter?
I went back to hugging the pillow against my stomach. Now that I was all riled up, sleep would be near impossible.
And so it was when I got a random phone call.
Stunned, I picked up my cellphone – the caller idea said it was coming from Romano, or 'Future husband' as Gillian had labelled him for me.
Immediately, my mood improved, like the flick of a switch. I licked my lips and waited for it to ring twice, just to make sure that Romano wasn't calling me by accident. We either texted or occasionally I visited his work. He had never sought out to reach me first before, and the thought of this excited me.
"Hello, this is Isabel~!" I practiced.
"Ay! NO! That's weird! I should just say hello like any other normal person! But wait! I don't want him to think of me as normal!"
"Uh….UH! UH! I DON'T KNOW!"
"Dios mio! I forgot to answer the phone!" I wailed. "Now we'll never get together!"
"Um….Isa? I think you just put me on speaker phone," Romano cleared his throat.
I looked down. "Oh."
"Oh," I repeated, giggling. "Silly (STUPID!) me. So, eheh, what's up?"
"Am I calling at a bad time? You sound really out of breath?"
"No! NO!" I protested. "I'm fine. Just fine. Perhaps a bit surprised that you're calling me, but I'm okay, really!"
"All right…" Romano paused. "I… wanted to see how you're doing after... well. Look, I hope you didn't take that asshole's words to heart. I know you told me that you didn't, but girls have a strange habit of saying the opposite of how they feel, and I couldn't be too sure. I don't think a text would have sufficed, so here I am now, calling you…probably sounding awkward as fuck but when did that ever stop me?"
"Aw!" I cooed. "That's so sweet of you. I'm good, thanks for asking. You're not being awkward, promise. It's actually quite endearing. So, how are you? Did you work today?"
Romano gave a snort and an unenthusiastic hum. Meanwhile, I was too busy imagining the cute pout and frown that would likely be on his face right now. Before I knew it, my mind was trailing elsewhere. I thought about how he had picked me up that one time at the bus stop; he had been so whimsical and charming. One time? I swear, I swoon every time he playfully bumps shoulders with me.
He acted so different with me. Kind, but always shy. There were some moments where he teased back, and it was those moments that I lived for.
"Yeah, I just got back. I'm tired as hell."
"Why aren't you sleeping then?" I asked.
"Because I'm calling you."
"Oh, well I can hang up and let you get some rest?"
"No!" Romano blurted out. "I wanted to call you."
"Si, but now that you know I'm okay, what now?" I smirked. He couldn't see this, but I was batting my lashes.
"I don't know. I didn't think that far ahead," Romano admitted.
"How about we get to know each other better and ask some random questions?" I proposed.
"Didn't we already do that when you came to visit me at the pizzeria?" Romano retorted.
"Ah! Ah! Ah!" I scolded. "It's only you who asked the questions then, and they were mostly about why I was wasting my spare time on you, or if my parents knew where I was. You're like an old man, eheh. Anyways, this is what we're doing, no objections. I don't see you coming up with something else."
"Fine."
"Really?!" I squealed.
"Hell I don't see why not."
"Okay! What's the thing you admire most about yourself?"
"…"
"Surely, there's something you like about yourself!" I protested.
His silence was alarming.
"Fine, I'll go first," I declared. "I admire my passion and dedication for what I love, like football."
"Can't I just say something I admire about you?" Romano countered, his voice indicating a hint of flusterment. "I'm drawing a blank otherwise."
My cheeks became pink. Suddenly, I was hot and had to thrust the covers off my waist. "Fine, but only if you think of something you like about yourself afterwards! I'll do the same for you."
"Hmmm," Romano agreed. "I like how courageous and confident you are in yourself. I don't think I've ever seen someone so sure of themselves."
"Debatable," I muttered.
"What?"
"Nothing~! Now, how about yourself?"
Romano sighed. "Maybe my work ethic? But it's inconsistent. Like, I care about Feli, and work all the time for her, but I can't be bothered to do anything school-related. Even now, what I'm doing is out of necessity. If I had a choice, I'd likely be bumming around all summer."
"Can I add to that?" I hummed. I didn't give him a chance to answer. "Maybe it's not your work ethic, but your compassion for others. You're so adorable when you snap at people. I can tell that you don't mean to lose your temper. It's pretty hilarious when you feel guilty afterwards and apologize profusely, but only to girls! You're still a true gentleman deep down."
"I'm glad you think of me as a joke," Romano said sarcastically.
"I don't!" I wailed.
"I know, you're just really gullible and easy to convince," Romano teased. He chuckled quietly, sending tingles at the tips of my now reddening ears.
"That I am," I said as I pouted and bit my lip.
"Before we move on with another question, I just wanted to say that I really do admire what you're doing as well. It can't be easy raising your sister without any help. I guess I just wanted to say that I'm here for you if you ever need anything. I'll help to the best of my abilities."
I didn't mention how easily I could pay for their groceries or bills. They didn't know that my family was rich, and I knew how prideful Romano was. He didn't like discussing his financial troubles, and took personal offense to it if it was ever brought up.
"You don't have to do that," Romano said politely, although I could tell he was mildly irritated. Not at me, but at the topic. "We're handling ourselves just fine, thank you. All I ask is that you be a good friend to Feli."
"And you!" I intervened. "We're friends too."
"Duh, I wouldn't be calling you if that wasn't the case."
"Are you always this sassy?!" I deadpanned. "And here I thought I had a big mouth."
"Isa, believe me. You've seen nothing yet. This is only the tip of the iceberg of how nasty I can get. I'm a fucking monster if you get me angry enough."
"Nuh-uh! I refuse to believe that. You could be shouting at me at the top of your lungs, and still I'd laugh because of the way your eyebrows scrunch together; it makes you look like a deranged squirrel."
"Funny that you say that. This is a completely unrelated story, but I actually used to blame squirrels every time my Nonno caught me wetting the bed."
"Oh my god!" I exclaimed. "That's so funny!"
I began to laugh uncontrollably. After five minutes, Romano cursed at me because he had started to laugh too. Apparently, my laugh was funnier than the joke. I got that a lot.
We spent another two hours talking to each other. The questions thing had been completely abandoned. There was just something so natural between the two of us where we didn't need to use questions as prompts. Everything flowed so perfectly.
Unfortunately, all good things had to come to an end. Felicia wanted to go to bed, and Romano had been using her room so that we could chat in private.
By the time I had hung up, I couldn't shake the grin of my face. I hadn't even noticed Henrique enter my room. "Why are you giggling so much? Who are you talking to? I'm trying to get some sleep, you know. The ladies don't like it when I have bags under my eyes."
No response.
"Huh? Isa? Helloooooooooo!?" Henrique waved a hand in front of my face. The faintest of smiles curled at the corners of his lips.
He left the room again and came back two minutes later. I still hadn't moved.
"I don't know why you're spacing out like a total weirdo, but who cares, as long as you're happy. That's all that matters to me."
"I'll…um… I'll just leave this here." Henrique quietly left my room again in a stunned daze. When he got back to his senses, unbeknownst to me, he lurked outside my bedroom door.
I looked at the slice of cake he had left for me on my nightstand.
You know what? Why not? I was feeling really good right now. I had to start somewhere if I wanted to get better.
I picked up the fork and held my breath.
Fight. Fight it, Isabel. You want to get better, don't you?
I did.
The sound of my fork scraping against the plate was like music to Henrique's ears.
…
Romano's POV:
I was lying on my back in a lazy sprawled position. The springs from the pull-out couch were digging into my back, but I couldn't have cared less.
No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't stop smiling, especially when I replayed the sound of Isabel's laughter that I had caused in my head.
Felicia had long gone to sleep – she had been too tired to question my strange and uncharacteristic behaviour.
What was even more uncharacteristic of me was that at exactly mid-night, I got up and approached the mantel above the fire place.
I straightened Nonno's picture so that it was looking down at me again, and then climbed back into bed.
"Not fucking bad," I grinned with regards to my relatively good mood. "Not fucking bad at all. Huh."