Chapter 4: Keep you close

Mikaela slowly stirred awake from the feeling of fingertips lightly tracing the skin of her back. Jon was laying on his side, following the lines of flames on her phoenix tattoo, its wings, claws and the talon slashes on both sides of her spine. He took his time with it like he was mesmerized with the image until she felt the flat of his palm move from her shoulder blades down to the small of her back, just touching her flesh.

"I love your skin," he said in a longing tone.

"Why?" she said softly, enjoying his sweet caress but feeling his pain in the air around her.

"It's perfect, flawless…clean, so fucking clean," he sighed, leaning forward to kiss the head of the phoenix. "My skin is all the way on the other side of the spectrum from yours, Mick. I'm scarred, dirty…feel so fucking ugly…" he tapered off, still sliding his palm over her back. "I believe in my heart if I touch your skin enough that the dirt on mine will go away. Someone broke you once, made you feel dirty but you washed it off. I felt it when you laughed at me the night I asked if you were scared of me," he gave a broken laugh and Mikaela felt a teardrop tap her back before trailing down her side. "The tattoo…you got it after the rape, when you finally built up your walls and got your fight back, didn't you?"

"Yes," she said shakily, tears forming in her eyes.

"The phoenix is your rebirth after the attack but the claw marks is how it still gets under your skin, past your armor," he whispered in a strained voice, another tear dripping on to her flesh but this time, he rubbed it in, letting her absorb it into her tender skin. "I was in a bad way when I ran out of money, sold every damn thing I had to eat until there was nothing left. Not a lot of doors open up for an ex wrestler with no other skills. I was walking down the damn street wondering what the fuck I was going to do when…Taylor pulled over. I thought he was gonna ask for directions or some shit," he let out a humorless laugh, rubbing more tears into her skin. "When he asked me how much, I was gonna punch him in the fucking face, it was my first instinct but…I think I was going on my fourth day without food and…the fucker was sadistic, Mick. He likes to inflict pain, pays extra if he can make you bleed…tear you…I was so fucking hungry, baby," he shook his head, focusing on her back to keep his thoughts straight.

"Jon…" she tried to roll over, to comfort him but he pressed his hand down on her phoenix, keeping her in place.

"Let me get this out, baby, please…I've only begged two people in my life, Mick, you're one…please…" he took in her nod and let her take his free hand while he continued to rub his tears into the tattooed gashes in her back. "I did it for a while with others but Taylor kept coming back, it was like he was hunting me down, I think it gave him an extra rush to break someone stronger than him, and the money he tossed at me…Mick, I was so fucking hungry. I kept in shape in case I could get back into a ring and I had to feed my muscle…you know how that is," he squeezed her hand, keeping his eyes trained on her skin. "When you offered me this chance, gave me that money, I thought I could get my armor back, ya know? And then he walked up and broke everything, made it all fucking dirty again, took everything away. I don't have anymore armor, Mick, cept you…your skin…unless he's taken you from me too…"

"He hasn't taken shit from you, Jon. Lay down on top of me, baby," Mikaela pulled on his hand, tugging him towards her.

"I don't want to squash you, Mick," he said with concern.

"Baby, I can do push-ups with you on my back and bench press your weight. Now lie down on top of me and use my skin. Come on," she said in a gentle, coaxing tone. Jon laid down along the length of her, letting his chin hook on her shoulder, his head next to hers, his hands on top of hers, lacing their fingers. "It is going to be okay, Jon. You're in control of your life now. You can use my skin until you feel right in yours again. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise," she tightened her grip on his fingers when she felt his tears mingle with hers on her cheek.

"I'm really starting to hate my fucking dick," Jon grumbled after his emotions subsided and they enjoyed a comfortable stretch of silence. "It seems to always want to interrupt our private moments by getting hard," he wiggled his hips against her ass until his cock settled between her cheeks.

"I think it just shows you that you can be comfortable feeling that way about someone, that you can let go too," she whispered, smiling when he snuggled his cheek against hers and released a sigh of what she hoped was relief.

"Mick?"

"Yes, Jon?"

"I don't think I can go back out there. If I see him again…I'll give you the money back, I'm sorry, baby," he said in rush, getting choked up again.

"Jon, you don't have to go back out there again if you don't want to, and I don't give a shit about the money," she pulled their joined hands and kissed his knuckles. "You have friends out there that want to see you though and if you feel up to it, I can guarantee you won't see that son of a bitch during the rest of our stay," she said in a sing-song tone, trying to coax him outside for some much deserved fun.

"What did you do, Mick?" he gave her a stern look, his face still next to hers. "Should I ask how much it cost you?"

"Excuse me, dear sir, I did not throw money at this to make it go away," Mikaela put on an offended look, sniffed like he hurt her feelings then batted her eyelashes innocently. "I chopped him in the throat, kicked him in the balls and had my cousin fly his ass out of here. I might have thrown a warning in there about fucking up his life forever if he spoke your name again, maybe," she shrugged, looking for all intents and purposes like a scolded child. "I said a lot of shit, he was choking, it was very distracting, I could barely hear myself speak over that gagging sound and I was fucking mad. I can't keep track of my threats when I'm that angry. I fucking Hulk out, Mick smash…what?" she came to the end of her mini rant when she noticed the grin on his face.

"You are so fucking cute," he burst out laughing, releasing her hands to run his down her sides.

"Pfft! Get your facts straight, I am at the very least adorable," she grinned, softly kissing his lips. "In all seriousness, you should at least go talk to Colby and Punk. You can blow off the rest of these competitions. I can finish this thing except that I'll have to face Punk and one other unknown member of the roster in the ring. That'll kind of suck on the unknown one but I'm not worried about it," she shrugged.

"In the ring?" he furrowed his brow at her. "Two of the games are in the ring?"

"The last two," she nodded. "Punk was quick to shoot off his mouth that he's being held back for one of them. I can't remember who is left. We've taken out a lot of them already. I can give Punk a run for his money, no doubt, but with my luck, Vince has Lesnar hiding in a suite somewhere. That prick and I really don't get along," she chuckled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Mr. Good, but you seem interested in continuing the competition," she teased when his trademark smirk returned.

"No corrections necessary, baby, I'm interested, in more than the competition," he purred in her ear, settling his palms on the sides of her breasts while sliding his cock between her cheeks. "If Vince does have Lesnar hidden away then I'm fighting Punk," he told her after she moaned deep in her throat, making her choke out a laugh.

"You're insufferable!" she squealed when he dug his hands between her breasts and the bed, pinching her nipples. "We have an off day. How would you feel about going out to talk to your friends and maybe taking another hike? The only other competition left besides the ring work is rock climbing and unless you feel up for it then it is me versus Justin Gabriel."

"I'll leave that to you, Princess, but yeah, I wouldn't mind going out after breakfast," he planted a kiss on her lips, staring into her obsidian orbs for a moment before deepening the kiss.

Jon relaxed enough from their contact that he drifted off while lying on her back. Mikaela let him have his much needed rest and snatched her cell off of the nightstand, careful not to jostle him while she sent out a quick text.

Are you still in the company of that asshole? – Mick

I am. What's up, cousin? – Antoine

Make a call to some of our cousins, A. Let them know his address and give him a day to relax but the instant he leaves his place, I want him picked up. – Mick

What kind of party are you looking for, hon? – Antoine

He raped a friend of mine. I want him to pay in kind, if you get my drift. And A, make sure they know to make it hurt. – Mick

I know what you mean. Should he be left breathing at the end of this party? – Antoine

Leave it up to them. My preference is no but I don't presume to tell Gi and the others what to do. – Mick

You are sponsoring this party, cousin. It is your call and Gi will want to know your preference. – Antoine

Mikaela took one glance at Jon's sleeping face, his eyes darting beneath his lids while dreaming and the slight tremors that jerked his body on hers. All the things he told her, all the tears this once proud man cried over the hell he went through and his desperate need for her to fix him – it made up her mind in an instant.

Make him disappear. – Mick

She turned off her phone when she felt Jon jerk awake, confusion in his eyes before he realized where he was. "Hey handsome," she smiled, placing a quick kiss on his grinning lips.

"Hey beautiful," he stretched his long, lean body along hers, groaning as his hard length slid along her ass. "I see he's awake too," he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and rolling them on to their sides. "Are you ready for that hike before we come back for food?" he asked, nuzzling his face into her hair.

"I sure am," she sighed, letting her eyes fall closed and enjoyed the feel of him pressed against her. She felt his reluctance to separate from her but after a deep sigh; he rolled out of bed, offering her a hand up which she graciously accepted. This man was such a conundrum to her.

He was clearly very strong physically and, in the past, emotionally and mentally as well but the latter two paid a heavy price, suffered a huge blow from what life forced him to do to survive. His tattered pride made an appearance now and then, when he needed to protect himself, or assert his dominance as if he had to prove he was still a man. Mikaela had no doubts in her mind that Jon was still a strong, virile male but his self worth was virtually non-existent and somehow, he chose her; a woman that was barely holding herself together as it is, to cling to, to draw strength and comfort from, to fix him.

Upon inspecting herself, she knew she was as damaged as she was after her attack and; while her and Derek would get into some knockdown, drag-out fights as part of their discipline, Jon was the only person she had ever fought for, whether in defense of or to protect, her fight returned for him. And no, it wasn't only her aggressive side that he pulled to the surface; he pulled the woman back too. He was the only man she allowed to touch her since that day, that fucking awful day that she thought ruined her forever. Something within him called to its mate in her and pulled her from her hiding place, to allow him to let her feel again. She would never tell herself she was okay now; she was far from okay, but he made her better and she wanted nothing more than to make him feel the same.

They were getting to the end of their third week of knowing each other and she found herself wanting to protect this man until he found his way back to himself. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, she watched him comb his hair back, attempting to tame those unruly curls. He was dressed down in a muscle shirt and cargo shorts for their hike. When he met her gaze in the mirror, he winked at her, a slight spark in his eyes and it was then that Mikaela swore she would try to keep that fire in his eyes; the price to her heart didn't matter.

"Are you ready?" he asked, holding out his hand.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she nodded, lacing her fingers with his and let him lead her out of their room.

They trekked out to the sight of tomorrow's climb hand-in-hand, Mikaela looking at the rock-face and mapping out her intended path. Jon looked at it with worry in his eyes. He could see in her gaze that she looked at everything as if it was a problem to solve, strategy to plot out to achieve her goals. He used to think that way himself but knowing she did it without worry of consequence actually scared him. He saw that wall as a way of her getting hurt. She saw it as an obstacle in her way.

"You sure you want to take this one on? Paul…Justin is a hell of an athlete in and out of the ring," he placed a hand in the small of her back, still looking up at the summit.

"Can you free-climb?" she cocked her head, glancing up at him with a smirk.

"No," he shook his head, eyes widening and snapping his focus on her. "Are you telling me you aren't using ropes?" he furrowed his brow, draping an arm across her shoulders.

"Fingers, toes, muscle and determination," she darted her eyes over the rock wall one last time, committing her path to memory before he pulled her into his side, turning her face towards him by taking her chin between his fingers.

"I don't like this," he shook his head, instinctively holding her tighter.

"I've done it many times, Jon, and haven't fallen to my death yet," she laughed, smiling softly at him. "Come on, let's head back," she pulled him along, wrapping her arm around his waist while he kept his grip on her shoulder.

"This isn't the way we came here," he said curiously when she took him down another path. He quirked a brow at her when she just shook her head no and kept leading him through the woods. A few minutes later, they cleared the dense foliage and Jon smiled when he looked upon the waterfall that she had brought him to before. "What are you doing, Mick?" he asked when she turned to him and pulled his shirt over his head.

"I want to feel your skin," she whispered breathlessly, staring at his chest before glancing up into his eyes. "Will you let me feel your skin against mine?" He nodded his head jerkily, letting his gaze drift over her when she whipped her shirt off and tossed it aside. "All of it, Jon," she added, having already kicked off her shoes, she slid her shorts down her long legs.

"Fucking Christ, you're beautiful," he groaned, toeing his shoes off and removed his shorts.

Mikaela's face brightened with a blush when his eyes raked over her naked form. She was nervous as hell about this; especially after everything that happened yesterday, plus her past, but this man managed to make her feel alive after years of just existing. She had no idea how he would react but went on instinct, taking him by the hands and walked backwards into the water, pulling him along once again. They stopped when the water was above her waist and she laced her fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth to hers.

Jon moved his hands to the small of her back, staring deep into those endless eyes when their lips parted. He grinned at the sight of her kiss-swollen lips, letting his gaze move down to her full breasts when she held on to his forearms and bent backwards to wet her hair. He couldn't resist if he tried, she had offered them up to him like a prize and he instantly moved his mouth to claim one tight nipple.

Mikaela went boneless in his arms, keeping her back arched while he continued to plunder her breasts and nipples with his mouth, tongue and teeth. She couldn't help the moan that escaped when he tugged on one tip, holding it between his teeth while that wicked tongue of his mercilessly flicked at the captured flesh.

Jon moved one hand to her hip, pulling her pelvis flush against his groin. "This is what you do to me," he groaned, his cock throbbing between them. "Every time I'm near you," he hissed, the pressure of her body against his shaft was killing him. His eyes focused on her when she stood upright, biting his bottom lip in anticipation of her rejection. "Mick?" he looked at her questioningly when she held on to his shoulders and jumped up to wrap her legs around his waist.

"Take us to that rock over there by the falls," she draped one arm around his neck, pointing at the large, flat stone. Moving her hands to his broad shoulders, she trailed kisses along his jaw to his neck, gently nibbling along the strong column of his throat. "Easy, Jon," she whispered into his ear when she felt his step falter, her tone and touch reassuring enough that he made it to the stone, lifted her up and set her down. "Come here," she crooked her finger at him, scooting back to give him room to hoist himself up and crawl over her. "Lay down on me, please," she breathed out, caught in his eyes. He held himself up on his forearms, holding her face between his palms while she laced her fingers in his hair, kissing him breathless. "Will you make love to me?" she whispered against his lips, holding his startled gaze with naked vulnerability in hers.

"Mick…" he sat up in between her legs, his breath hitching in his chest when his eyes took in her smooth pussy before he glanced back to her worried face. Moments ago, he was afraid of her rejection and now he could see the pain of it in her eyes. "I don't think I should," he averted his face, unable to stand the tears gathering in her eyes.

"It's okay, Jon. I promised I wouldn't…use you like that. I'm sorry I went back on my word. I…I made a mistake, I'm sorry," she whispered, pulling her leg from one side of him, feeling exposed, ashamed, spread open like that.

"Wait, stop," he grabbed her arm when she moved to leave and pulled her back into his chest. "Stop, Mick, it isn't that," he held her struggling form to him, refusing to let go. "You know why, baby. I don't deserve you, I don't deserve what you're offering me," he palmed her cheek, forcing her eyes to his.

"You deserve me," she sniffled, losing the battle to keep her tears at bay. "In five years, you're the only one that deserves me, the only one I would consider giving myself to," her voice broke with emotion. "After…what happened, I never let anyone touch me like you have, you know that, but I broke my promise, and after everything you've been through, I don't blame you for not wanting me, not wanting this. I'm sorry," she sobbed, pulling away from him until he cradled the back of her head and took her mouth in a searing kiss.

"I want you, I'd say it's glaringly obvious that I want you and have since the day you took me home," he said in husky tone, his own emotions coming to the surface. "I just…I want you. My arguments against it are bullshit, I mean I do feel unworthy of you but I can't fight against my need for you," he cupped her face between his large palms and kissed her tears away before easing her down on the rock. "You're so beautiful, Mick," he kissed her trembling lips, easing a hand down to rub her clit, heart hammering in his chest when she moaned, her eyes falling closed. "So tight, so wet, baby," he groaned, sinking two fingers into her heat. "I don't have a condom, Mick, but I can make you cum with my mouth," he panted but could hear his own disappointment in his voice.

"I can't get pregnant, Jon," she whispered, keeping her eyes sealed tight when she felt his gaze on her, withdrawing his fingers from her body. "To think, I already had four years of Muay Thai under my belt, I could literally kill with my hands and I never saw it coming. I was fucking helpless when he tore his way into my body, damaging me so badly I cannot manage to do the one thing a woman is made for; reproduce and give birth. Do you still want me, Jon?" she opened her eyes, meeting his solemn gaze. "Am I still fucking perfect?" she asked with the same look of desolation that he'd seen in his mirror for a while.

"Yes, I still want you and you're perfect to me," he stared between her eyes, letting her see the truth of his words before he kissed her lips. "I'm sorry about all of that, Mick. I don't know what to say except it doesn't make you less of a woman in my eyes. You're still fucking perfection," he smiled, looking at her with admiration in his eyes. "I, uh, mentioned the condom for another reason," he lowered his eyes, a blush tingeing his cheeks. "I'm clean, I get tested regularly and always used rubbers, but I didn't think you'd want to go bareback with me, especially after everything you heard," his voice dropped to a hushed whisper, averting his eyes to below her chin.

"I trust you, Jon," she lifted his face, licking along his lips until he drove his tongue into her mouth. She arched her back, pressing her body against his while moaning into his kiss.

"You're saying you trust me with your life," he broke from their kiss, looking into her midnight eyes.

"Shit, Jon, I trusted you with my life the second I unlocked my car door," she gasped from heaving lungs.

"Why?" he asked, knowing that was true. She didn't know him. He could've done anything to her that night. Of course, he had no knowledge of her martial arts background but she had no knowledge of his wrestling ability either. He could have hurt her if he was that type of man.

"I only looked at you for a moment before you approached my car, but what I saw in your eyes was the same look I have in mine. You tried to cover it up with your charm when you leaned into my window but it was still there, buried within. We're the same," she traced her hand down his cheek, staring deep into each others' eyes before he reclaimed her mouth, his fingers returning to her sensitive clit once again. "Please…" she begged, tears filling her eyes again when he furiously stroked that bundle of nerves, bringing her back to the point of madness.

"Okay, baby," he nodded his head, raising up on one knee, he hooked her leg over that hip and used his free hand to probe her entrance with the head of his cock. "So wet, Mick," he growled before entering her body on one deep thrust. "Jesus, fuck," he groaned, feeling her tight, wet heat grip him like a fiery fist. Staying perfectly still within her, he got his control back enough to open his eyes and focus on the pained expression on her face. He was not a small man in the dick department and; knowing she'd been celibate for five years, he knew his swift entry and size had to be uncomfortable as hell for her. "You okay, baby?' he asked, smoothing her wet hair back from her face.

"Yeah, just go slow," she whimpered, forcing her body to relax into this. "Oh fuck, Jon," she moaned when he withdrew and slowly slid back in to the hilt.

"Stay with me, baby," he said in a soft purr, waiting for her eyes to focus on his before he set up his rhythm of slow, deep thrusts. Her back arched on every thrust of his hips, his cock filled her so completely. They slotted together like two pieces of a puzzle, a perfect fit. "You were made for me," he growled in her ear, feeling it in the depths of his soul.

"I was," she jerked her head in a nod, wrapping the leg he held around his ass and pulling him into her.

"Fuck, you feel amazing," he said on a breath, forcing his eyes not to roll up into his head while he picked up the speed and strength of his thrusts. Jon could feel himself getting lost in her, the way her body gripped his length, her hands clutching on to his shoulder and in his hair. He felt like he was before, strong and sure of himself. Just the sounds their bodies made joining with each other had his heart hammering against his ribcage. He didn't think he'd last this long, but his body craved hers so badly that he drove into her relentlessly for what felt like forever but in his mind would never be long enough. He'd make love to her all day if he could. His beautiful girl was just as lost in the sensation of him as he was in her. The desire in her eyes, for him and only him, set his blood firing through his veins. He couldn't lose this feeling. He needed her to be himself. "You're mine, okay?" he darted his wild eyes between hers, slamming his hips into hers so hard the clapping sound of their flesh drowned out the sound of the falls behind them. "Say it," he hissed at her when she nodded her head.

"I'm yours," she cried out, nodding her head as his near feral gaze pierced into her.

"I need to keep you," he said in a guttural tone when her hips rose up to meet his, her leg pulling him in harder.

"Keep me," she screamed, throwing her head back when he sent her over the edge.

"Fuck, shit!" Jon shouted, clenching his eyes when her pussy clamped down on him like a vise, tearing his orgasm from him like it was hers to command. His hips jerked as he released into her, her body milking every drop out of his pulsating cock until he collapsed on to his forearms, burying his face into her neck. "You're mine. I can't let you go now," he panted breathlessly in her ear, cringing at the desperation he felt inside but the fact that she made him feel whole again overshadowed everything else.

"Okay," she whispered, nodding her head while she ran her fingers through his silky hair.

"I mean it," he pulled back to look in her eyes, seeing the same relief and desperation in her onyx depths. "Did I hurt you?" he cupped her cheek, tracing his thumb over her skin to absorb a few stray tears.

"No, not at all," she smiled softly, placing a kiss on his parted lips. "You were perfect with me, Jon," she pulled him close, wrapping her arms around him, crossing her legs over his ass, keeping him inside of her.

"I've gotta keep you close, Mick. I'll keep you safe and close," he mumbled, nuzzling into her neck again, reveling in the feeling of being completely wrapped up in her.

AN: Yep, I totally threw my timeline out the window on this one. I said I was going to keep this month at the retreat to one chapter and we're moving on into three chapters. By the time I get to that one, who the hell knows if I can keep it all contained in one chapter. I sure as hell don't. The whole love scene in this one took a lot of time (and I still don't know if it meets my approval) due to the fact that I basically consider both Jon and Mick rape victims (regardless if he got paid for it) that were willingly giving themselves to someone for the first time in a long time. Hope it came across okay. Until we meet in the next chapter - Ciao!