Chapter 4: Rivals

A/N: The main idea for this chapter I was originally writing in an independent story, but it wasn't working. Very happy to have been able to transfer it here, where hopefully it doesn't feel out of place.

He'd nearly made it through, five days of official engagements ended tomorrow – and then his parents would just be on holiday. Unfortunately, the Commissioner and Mayor of Honore had decided it was an absolute scandal that there was no official event to mark the end of the Royal stage of the trip to Saint Marie, and so had insisted at the very least that the Duke and Duchess come out for dinner.

"But tomorrow is Richard's birthday!" his mother had cried. "We need to celebrate that."

And so, without any consultation with him in the slightest, Richard found a party being planned in his honour. Luckily, it was at least not a formal affair. It would be at Catherine's, and apart from the fact it now had a fair few minor dignitaries in attendance, would probably go pretty much the same way as if his parent's weren't here. He was pretty certain that his team would have practically tied him down and forced him to endure some kind of celebration.

He was in Catherine's bar now, hiding at the back trying to ignore the people – mainly women – stealing glances at him. It seemed Dwayne's joking statement had proved correct. There was no way for him to hide his relationship to Saint Marie's royal visitors, and he had found himself suddenly the object of attention of quite a few women. In a section of his case he had politely stuffed numerous business cards and napkins with numbers on. He looked hopefully at the door, as he was expecting Camille to arrive at some point. He tended to get left alone when Camille was around.

When Camille arrived, the first thing she noticed was Dwayne at the bar surrounded by three extraordinarily attractive and really rather young women. It was not uncommon for him to flirt with the ladies, but he was also being eyed up by half the woman in the bar. It seemed a little more intense than usual. The Dwayne situation could be classified as unusual, what she spotted next was downright bizarre. Serena Carling, whom she was pretty sure was one of Dwayne's exes and in general rather liberal with her affections, was perched on top of the table Richard was trying to drink tea at, largely bare legs crossed in a manner causing them to be pretty much directly in Richard's eye line. The poor man clearly didn't know where to look. He needed rescuing.

She walked directly over and managed to convey her disapproval in her greeting, "Evening, Serena."

Miss Carling had been arrested a few times for being drunk and disorderly by Camille, and after tucking a napkin in the front pocket of Richard's jacket and giving him a very suggestive view of her cleavage, she pushed off the table and walked away.

"What is going on this evening?" Camille asked him, sitting down opposite him. "Dwayne looks like he's just been announced most eligible bachelor on the island and then Serena looked just about ready to…well, eat you alive."

"Ah, well," Said Richard. "In order to get rid of some of the attention I've been receiving since my parent's arrival I told Dwayne he could tell people that when I left Saint Marie I'd be making him my official viceroy. I mean, technically it's not the correct use of the term viceroy but neither he nor any of the young women seem to realise that or care."

"You're letting Dwayne use your title to take advantage of impressionable young women?" She questioned with a raised eyebrow.

It took a moment for her statement to sink in, and then he blanched, "Well, I mean…you see…oh God. What have I done?"

Camille giggled, "Richard every mother on this island warns their daughter's about this sort of thing. They know what they're doing. Forget him for now, I'm picking up the idea that Serena wasn't the first woman to have approached you recently. How many numbers are you hiding in your jacket?"

"I am not talking about this," Richard told her firmly.

"Oh come on!" she teased. "Let me see, there might actually be somebody suitable for you!"

"Not going to happen, so you can stop asking now."

She just maintained eye contact, and eventually he sighed and retrieved the mess of scraps of paper, napkins and business cards from the front pocket of his case. She took them eagerly and began to sort through them.

"Elena Royale, far too young for you. I'm pretty sure she only got out of high school a couple of years ago. Felicity Hunt, I believe the polite term would be ditzy – totally unsuitable for you. Carmen – is that Carmen Drake?" she paused for confirmation, but Richard just shrugged. "Well what did she look like?"

"I've mainly been concentrating on getting rid of them not what they look like."

"Well was she brunette, five foot ten, big breasts?"

He might be pretending he didn't know who she was talking about, but the blushing indicated that her breasts had clearly left some sort of mark on his memory.

"Well if it is Carmen Drake she's separated from her husband but still married, they are very much in on again-off again, so I'd steer well clear. Molly Chanel, I've been out with her she's a lot of fun – but she's no good for you. Takes about seven hours to get ready for a night out. Juliette Maison has three cats, surely that makes her a crazy cat lady in waiting? Emma Kingston, no you'd never get on she's really into her voodoo, to extremes not even I would go too…"

"Are there any woman on this island you like?" he asked, exasperated. She supposed she had been being a bit negative. Actually she liked quite a lot of these women, but that didn't mean they were right for Richard.

"Hey, do you want my opinion or not?"

"Opinion on what?" Dwayne asked, apparently having shed his ladies for the evening and come to join them along with Fidel.

"Actually, I believe I didn't ask for your opinion, you decided to force it on me," he said grumpily.

"I'm just assessing the women who have been so kind as to provide the Inspector with their number," Camille told the boys. "This is the 'no' pile, I haven't checked these ones yet."

Dwayne eagerly began to sort through the reject pile, whilst Camille and Fidel agreed that there was no way the Inspector could date Madeline Lille because she was too spontaneous.

"She'd always be trying to drag you off somewhere, or get you to go out when you don't want to," Camille explained.

"You mean like you do?" The Inspector pointed out. Fidel offered her no help, instead smirking at the table. She got the feeling he might have set her up.

"That's different!" She protested.

"How?"

"I, um, know your limits!"

"And then choose to entirely ignore them and carry on regardless." He had a point, and she thought it might be better to try and change the subject rather than keep digging herself deeper. Luckily Dwayne provided her with the subject change by protesting loudly, "What's wrong with Juliette Maison?"

"Crazy cat lady, apparently," Richard told him. Dwayne was of the opinion the number of cats a woman owned was counteracted by their attractiveness, and asked if he could keep the business card.

"Keep all of them, I'm not going to call any."

Fidel rummaged through the remaining few, before pulling out one piece of paper where the name actually made him smile. "Jenna Washington!" he said almost triumphantly.

"The music teacher?" Dwayne asked for confirmation. "She's perfect!"

Camille grabbed the paper from Fidel rather more aggressively than she intended as she disbelievingly asked, "Jenna Washington gave you her number?"

"Oh Sir, she's great, she teaches Music at my old school. She's one of the nicest people I know. And she's English, and she plays the piano, and likes Shakespeare and I can't believe I never thought to introduce you before!"

"Hey, you've even got the perfect ice breaker, you can tell her all about how you figured out the science lab's skeleton was real!" Dwayne added.

"Actually, in my experience, women don't like it when you talk murder on the first date…" Said Richard, demonstrating he had at least a some knowledge of women and dating

"But, but, isn't she a bit shy?" Camille attempted to counter Fidel's enthusing. Shy and softly spoken were accurate descriptions but weren't exactly serious character floors. Dwayne was shooting Camille a knowing look, and she was trying to ignore a rising panic as she realised just have very suitable Jenna was. She blamed this panic for not spotting the obvious immediately, "Hang on, this is my mother's handwriting!"

"Is it?" Said Richard, only mildly interested. "She did give me one of those pieces of paper but I assumed she was just passing it on from somebody else."

"Excuse me," Said Camille, leaving the table and rapidly tracking down her in the kitchen.

Catherine was about to start chopping up a pineapple when he daughter burst into the kitchen reminding Catherine of le mistral winds of her childhood which would blow doors off their hinges if not shut properly. "You gave Richard Jenna Washington's number?" She demanded, taking the pineapple from Catherine's hands and slamming it down on the counter.

Catherine would normally tell her daughter off for such insolence, she was not some criminal to be interrogated, however the intensity of her daughter's reaction was intriguing and she couldn't help baiting her a little more.

"Yes! I don't know why we didn't think of it before. She's perfect for him, no?"

"That's why? It just suddenly just occurred to you they were well suited?"

"Well, it wasn't just that…" Catherine told her daughter vaguely, and could tell by Camille's posture alone she found the unqualified statement maddening. This was all proving very revealing. She waited Camille out, who was staring at her hands on hips. Instead of expanding on her comment, she retrieved the pineapple and began to core it.

"Wasn't just what?" Camille asked, finally cracking in the silence.

"Well I felt sorry for him, all those women who don't really know him fawning over him and making him uncomfortable. I mean they don't really like him do they? I imagine most of them just like the idea of being a Duchess."

"Exactly!" Camille agreed vehemently. "They have no idea what he's like. How pedantic and – and – annoying!"

"He needs somebody patient, don't you think?" Catherine was now carefully cubing the pineapple. "Who could maybe draw him out, put up with his quirks?"

"Yes!" Camille cried.

"Which is why Jenna is perfect!" Catherine told her daughter, big smile on her face. "I mean, she is used to dealing with unruly children." She gave Camille a quick wink, and then moved on to slicing lemons.

Camille looked crestfallen enough that Catherine did actually feel sorry for her, but she hid her guilt and instead said brightly, "Let's invite Jenna tomorrow! Perfect time for them to meet. It'll keep all those other women from hassling him at his own party as well, poor man."

"I can do that!" Said Camille forcefully. Catherine had to suppress a smile as implications of Camille's statement caught up to her. "I mean, if I were to go with him, surely that'd be easier on everyone? A first date at a birthday party would be a bit awkward, wouldn't it?"

Catherine gave her the look she used whenever she felt Camille was in denial – which when it came to how she felt about Richard was about 90% of the time, "But if you went with him, wouldn't that be a first date?"

"No!" She protested loudly.

Catherine raised an eyebrow, "So you've been dating?"

"No! That's not what I meant! I…I'd just be there as his friend. I'll be running interference with other women," Camille said, nodding and looking rather like she was trying to convince herself this was the truth.

"Well, I suppose that's not a bad plan," Catherine conceded. "You spoke to Richard already, then?"

Camille looked at the floor. So that was a no then, boy would Catherine love to listen in to that conversation.

When Camille had finished berating herself for being such a coward, she approached the table, where she found Dwayne and Fidel both working very hard to convince Richard to call Jenna Washington. Dear God, did everyone love Jenna?

"Come on Chief, she's very elegant. Excellent Duchess material! She's sure to keep all the other women away from you, they'd know they wouldn't have a chance. I bet your mum would love her!" Richard gave Dwayne a look that clearly said 'I will find a reason to fire you if you don't shut up'. The experienced officer threw his hands up in defeat, and started stuffing some of the 'reject' numbers into his pocket.

"I'll do that," Camille managed to say, then realised from the look the three men gave her it probably wasn't entirely clear what she was on about. "Keep women away from you!" She clarified. However they all still continued to stare at her with equally bemused expressions. "What? You don't think I'm pretty enough to intimidate other women?"

All three men immediately started to deny that they had been thinking any such thing, and assuring her that she was of course intimidating enough to scare off other women. Which wasn't what she'd asked, but she could live with it.