DOC COHRAN
Greetings to those of you fond of Deadwood and allow me to introduce Chapter 4 of Something Pretty. I'm also wondering why this is the first time I've showed up seeing as I am the fucking Ensemble Dark horse!
AL
You? This whole fucking show changed to accommodate me that the fucking protagonist! If you watch the first episode its pretty fucking clear that this show was supposed to be about Seth until everyone decided that they liked me better.
AUNT LOU
You know compared to the amount of screen time he gets Richardson is pretty damn popular
ADAMS
What about me?
JACK
I do hate to blow my own horn here as it were…
SETH
Break it up everyone! There are too many popular characters on this fucking show to pick a dark horse.
AL
Yes lets just all agree that everyone finds the theater troupe (except Jack) to be really fucking annoying
CLAUDIA
Hey!
DAN
Al's just telling it like it is
ALMA
Lest we forget Steve, everybody hates him
TRIXIE
No offense Alma but you got a pretty little hate club goin' yourself, you got a fan club for sure but…
ALMA
I do?
JANE
A whole bunch of people seem to find me really fucking irritating.
ALMA
I have just consulted Television Without Pity and feel my "hatedom" (as I believe it is called) to be based on a double standard. Why do I get judged more harshly than the men who are constantly killing each other?
CON
I feel I would be better liked if it had not been for the decision to give me "sexy scenes" in Season Three
TRIXIE
No one wanted to see those
JACK
Tis the circuitous logic by which HBO offers programming filled with erotic content that often makes the viewer want to take a vow of celibacy
AL
Lets fucking focus people! So without further fucking ado welcome to Chapter Four of…Hey, random theater cocksucker, are you crying?
THEATER GUY
No! There's…uh… something in my eye
AL
You're pathetic. Chapter fucking Four people, here it is. Read, enjoy and fucking review!
Chapter 4
One Vile Task After Another
Martha Bullock walked quickly from the schoolhouse to her own home, glad that her husband hadn't come to pick her up. She was pleased with the progress that the children had been making but she'd lost her patience with those textbooks Even once she'd crossed out the bits she found offensive ('Indians can sometimes be very cruel' indeed, and whites were paragons of kindness and generosity) those textbooks were still ten years old and falling apart, not to mention limited. There was so much more that they could be learning…but then again she couldn't get too ambitious. After all these children all had different levels of intellect and education. Some of them didn't speak English at home. But she couldn't stop herself from getting excited and making plans. Ever since becoming schoolmistress she had begun, bit by bit to come alive to the possibilities embodied by these children. This in part had prompted her to order new textbooks, she'd check with Mr. Udder about them soon.
She hoped Seth didn't mind the expense, but it would be nice if they could get some money from the town elders or council. Maybe if Mr. Star became mayor he could have some kind of system to take care of public funds. She'd ask Seth, then Mr. Star. She was sure that Mr. Udder and the man from the newspaper would see that as an appropriate use of camp money. Also Mr. Nutall, but thinking about him dampened her spirits somewhat, poor Mr. Nutall. Martha wasn't sure about that very sinister saloon owner or Mr. Swearengen. She wished that Mr. Swearengen might come around a little more so she could hear what he and her husband talked about, or just get more of an idea of his character, for he was an enigma to her.
A stranger greeted her with a polite "Afternoon ma'am" which she returned. This made her feel a little self conscious. She wondered if people were looking at her and wondering why she was alone. If she were a prostitute, or almost any manner of man she could pass unnoticed, but a proper lady commanded attention. She had always found it interesting how the men had such different rules for how they conducted themselves around ladies and around the women who worked at the saloons, as if they were two separate genders.
She reached her house now and let herself in. She got out the broom and swept up a little, then put out a kettle and cups and saucers for either tea or coffee. She supposed she ought to put on her dressing gown as the doctor would be hear at any minute.
Doc Cochran was preparing to go over to the Bullock house when there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find Bullock himself and a roughed up looking Cy Tolliver trying to stem the flow of blood from his broken nose.
"Hey Doc, are you busy or can you see to him?"
The doctor could tell from Seth's words that he knew nothing of his appointment with Mrs. Bullock, so he decided to keep his mouth shut. Though he'd rather go help Martha and let Cy shift for himself but he knew he couldn't.
"Sure, sure. Umm…" Those few words set off a bout of coughing and he had to wait until it was over to ask "Did you do this?"
"Yes" Cy blurted out
"There's no point lying about it Tolliver. Everyone saw."
"Shhhiiiiiiittt" groaned Cy
The doctor looked between the two in confusion.
"Saw what? Wait was it Trixie? Because if you're embarrassed about being beaten by a woman, she's…"
"No this is more embarrassing. It was Merrick, he gave him one hell of a pistol whipping back there" Seth smirked as he said this
"Merrick? We aren't talking about the Merrick that runs the newspaper here, are we?"
"Well the one I'm talking about is around 6'5" and a redhead, impossible to miss. But if you know another person in camp who answers to that description…"
Cy glared at both of them "Stop it both of you. You two think this is fucking funny? My fucking busted nose is a source of great amusement…"
"Well that would be entertaining on its own but the fact that it was Merrick who busted it makes it fucking hilarious." Seth knew he was going a little too far, but he was already feeling better to see Tolliver finally getting a bit of what he deserved. Doc Cochran begun to clean and dress the wounds, which only added to the intensity of the saloon keeper's glare.
"Hey Bullock, once you've finished your fucking chuckle why don't you go arrest that sack of shit newspaperman?"
"I'd love to but as you so astutely pointed out earlier, I am no longer the Sheriff. You'll want to take it up with Harry Manning." Seth turned on his heel and left but as he opened the door he turned around "Oh and Doc, once you're done you're needed at Blazanov's office. He might have couple broken ribs."
The doctor went about setting Cy's nose
"Mr. Blazanov's bein' injured wouldn't have anything to do with Merrick behaving in such an uncharacteristically aggressive manner would it Cy?"
"So I kicked his little Russian girlfriend around a little, what makes him think he can get away with pulling shit like this?" Cochran had to cough again before he answered
"He wasn't thinking, or rather he was thinking that you'd hurt someone that he cared about. Also you talk like a man who's never had any friends."
"I don't have fucking time for 'friends', if you think that's a fucking insult…"
"No just a statement of fact…"
"I don't want 'friends', I want to make that really fucking clear. Of course if I wanted I could, but I don't. I don't care about being liked, in fact I don't want to be liked. Because if people like you they don't fear you and so they fuck you up the ass…"
The doctor rolled his eyes and picked out a spare bottle of laudanum and handed it to Cy.
"I'll add this to your bill at the end of the month."
"Great, I have to fucking pay for this too. Once I get my hands on that fat bastard I'm going to gut him like a fish"
"Yeah go ahead Cy, if you think this stupid cluster fuck (which is your own damn fault by the way) justifies a war with Al, be my guest. Merrick's under his protection and Al would not appreciate you fucking with one of his. Actually he might already have it in for you on account of the telegraph operator who I have to go and see now"
The Doc was sure he was exaggerating here but as much as he disliked the newspaperman he would rather his intestines stayed inside his body. Also he had been significantly less irritating of late. He left Tolliver to mutter to himself and headed over to the telegraph office where he found a miserable looking Blazanov on his bed with Merrick and Lila (the prostitute from the Bella Union) hovering with obvious concern. They both rushed over when he entered and begun to talk at the same time.
"Doctor it was all my fault…"
"I'm so glad you're here! I would have gone myself but Mr. Bullock said…"
"I didn't really see how many times Mr. Tolliver kicked him or where…"
"I had some laudanum left over but…"
"But he didn't want to take it because he thought that it might make it difficult for you to examine him properly…"
Doc Cochran held up his hands to silence both of them.
"Yes, it would hamper my seeing to him…"
"How's the patient Doc?" They all looked up to see Al who had entered through the connecting door.
"Well" answered Cochran with a practiced tone of exasperation "I wouldn't know. I've been too tied up with these two to look at him."
He turned and knelt down to examine Blazanov while Merrick and Lila both begun to apologize profusely. As Al descended the stairs he got a better look at Lila and yelled "Hey, fucknuts, why is there a Bella Union whore here? If you two ever decide to get it up you fuck at the Gem! For Christ's sakes Blazanov that offer for free blowjobs still fucking stands. Also don't buy their line about how their girls are cleaner…"
"They are" muttered Cochran
"She's just here to make sure Mr. Blazanov is alright, since he was so conscientious as to assist her in her altercation with Mr. Tolliver." Clarified Merrick
"Yeah, speaking of that…" said Al before punching the taller man in the arm "That was fucking fantastic. I always knew you had it in you. You stood it like a man and now you've given some back"
Merrick winced as if burnt and not just because of Al's blow
"Well I certainly didn't. My god Al I've never wanted to hurt anyone in my life and all of a sudden that Hearst shows up in town and now look what's happened to me! I know one thing for sure, I will never touch spirits as long as I live"
Al threw back his head and laughed "Yeah worked real fucking well the last few times you've said that."
"Well I mean it this time!" He sighed "I should apologize to Tolliver. Will he be alright Doc?"
Cochran rolled his eyes "Yeah he'll be fine, if he doesn't mess with his wounds to try and get sympathy…again. Also Merrick you ought to secure a firearm or something. Tolliver threatened to eviscerate you." After saying this he broke into coughing.
"Like fuck he will!"
"I told him you wouldn't be pleased Al."
"All the more reason for me to go over and talk to him" piped up Merrick "In my experience people are so unaccustomed to hearing others admit their wrongs and offer to make amends that they are surprised and their hostility somewhat mollified" He smiled at everyone as if expecting them all to see the logic of this. Instead his friend and his physician were looking at him as if he'd just suggested that one of Wu's pigs should replace E.B. as mayor as opposed to Sol Star. Lila was a little kinder
"Um…Mr. Merrick, I'm sure a lot of people are like that, but…not Mr. Tolliver."
Doc Cochran stood up and had another coughing fit before closing his case. "He's got one broken rib and one cracked one. There are a good few bruises. Now deep pulls on the laudanum for the pain and please for the love of God finish this bottle… and don't listen to anything your idiot friend says. He knows nothing about medicine" He turned and left shaking his head as he went.
Al beckoned Merrick to follow him and the two ascended the stairs to Al's office.
"So, you still want to apologize to Tolliver?" Sneered Al
"What he did was unforgivable but what I did was as well" Suddenly Al was angry
"So what you're saying is that you hold yourself to a different fucking standard than the rest of us. Is that what you're saying?"
"I…I'm saying that I poses a different ethical code as does everyone and…not that my code is better…but yes I hold myself to a different standard because…" Al didn't really want to hear it
"Was it unforgivable of Bullock to beat Mrs. Ellsworth's conniving father who was going to sell her up the river, maybe see her hanged, senseless? Was it unforgivable of Charlie Udder to kick the shit out of that Wolcott cocksucker who murdered those poor girls? Was it un-fucking-forgivable of me to kill that Pinkerton shitheel who beat you?"
"I'm still alive." Merrick said very, very softly.
"FUCK YOU! The problem with cocksuckers like you is that you think there's some fucking justice in this world. You'd think differently if someone had taken the time to beat the trust out of you when you were young and so you've been carrying around this stupid fucking childish worldview. Well life isn't fair! Shit happens then you die. Is it fair that Hearst gets to bump off Ellsworth, buy up the fucking town, and cut off my goddamn finger? No it fucking isn't but that's what happens. Is it fair that poor fucking Jen had to die because of Trixie's fuckup? Is it fair that Hearst gets to ask for a woman's life and I have to give it to prevent us all being fucking killed? No none of that is fair but that is how it is! Now tell me what a fucking monster I am for killing her…come on! It was unforgivable wasn't it to kill an innocent girl?"
"Jen's dead?"
"What did I just say, you stupid bastard?" Al didn't know why he was doing this, he supposed that the more he justified it to others the better he was at doing it to himself. He wanted Merrick to get angry, to judge him, so that he could come back and tell him that he had no right to talk, that Merrick got to hold his nose up because Al prevented him from having to get his hands dirty.
"Al, I'm sorry"
"THAT'S ALL YOU CAN SAY?"
"I'm sorry that such choices fall to you. I don't envy you the burdens you have had to bear nor the actions you have had to undertake to survive …"
"Don't you dare fucking pity me!" Al shouted. At that moment his hand was resting on a book that held down a stack of papers in place of a paperweight. Without thinking he picked it up and hurled it at Merrick's head. The journalist let out a sound that was an uneasy hybrid of a shout and a squeak but then silence fell for several minutes. Al instantly regretted his action but said nothing as Merrick stooped to pick up the book then touched his head to feel the trickle of blood that had begun to run from the cut that the book had left. When Al finally met his gaze there was no look of reproach in those sad blue eyes.
"I'm…" He couldn't say it. it was like passing the kidney stones so he didn't try "Lost my fucking temper. You drink and fuck on the house tonight" The other man wasn't really having any of it.
"I'm sorry that you had to do that, but Al…its sad. Its so very sad."
"Yeah…yeah it's fucking sad" and with saying that Al felt the weight bearing down on his chest shift and lessen slightly.
Martha Bullock's face betrayed how uncomfortable she was with the doctor's examination. He wished he knew of some way to make her feel better about the places his fingers were going. He was so used now to prostitutes who had given up seeing their bodies as in anyway belonging to themselves it was jarring to look at a woman who wished to remain covered and secret and to know that only a few other men (husbands and physicians) had seen her like this before. He tried to give her a cheerful smile as he concluded his business but he was sure it came off as a grimace.
"Would you mind adjourning to the kitchen so that I may dress Doctor Cochran? I've prepared some tea for you." Asked Martha rather shyly
"Of course Mrs. Bullock, thank you…Thank you very much."
He did as she asked and waited downstairs standing awkwardly by the kitchen table. He didn't know how she would react to this news. Martha Bullock was a woman who came off as cold to some but Cochran had seen her by her dying son's beside. She was a woman who had accustomed herself to the danger and uncertainty of military life and to the knowledge that her husband could be taken from her at any time, as he had been. She was a kind woman but one who felt the harshness of the world and tried to hold herself hard against it.
Martha came down the stairs, still as uncomfortable with her physician as he was with her.
"So, what was your opinion…am I…correct in my suspicions?" She quickly began to busy herself with the tea so that she and Cochran wouldn't have to look at each other while he answered.
"Yes, it is as you thought. You're with child"
AL
Bullock, what is it with you and knocking up women?
SETH
She's my wife!
JOHNNY
Well there you have it, that was Part Four. Which featured Cy/Doc, Doc/Martha, Al/Merrick
DAN
Johnny…um that ain't "slash"
JOHNNY
What? Those were the people talking mainly. That last scene was with Doc and Mrs. Bullock. Doc/Martha
DOC
That's really not what "slash" means
SETH
Though, I am intrigued by Al/Merrick, I feel like that should…
AL
Bullock, I refrained from stabbing you once. This time you won't be so lucky. Besides, might piss off Merrinov shippers.
E. B.
There are such people?
BLAZANOV
This conversation is becoming not comfortable
AL
Of course I'd be more worried about those that step aboard Al/Alma or Al/Jack ships
DOC
Not to mention Al/Seth
SETH
Fuck, is that a thing?
MARTHA
Well we hope you have enjoyed this latest effort and will continue to read "Something Pretty"
JOANIE
Also we'd appreciate you Following and Favoriteing and the like
WU
Swedgin! FanFiction! Cocksucka!