Reuniting With Lost Time

Chapter Four

Apprehensive Hesitations Meet Awaiting Truth

By Inuyashas Youkai

Walking around the yard encircling her sister Bessie's house , as Joey watched her daughter play in the sandbox with her nephew, was also thinking about what she would say when he arrived at tonight's venture, but not only that, it was the posed consequeces in sharing those words with him that often reared its ugly head. The most concern is what would be the reaction to learning about her , and how she came to be without her father being present, that story telling of an end was not only painful , but pathetically sad in how it all came about. Considering this, Joey found herself become lost within her thoughts of memories from long past.

While clearing the table , and helping his mother wash the dishes, as she dried them, Dawson not only was trying to conceive the revelation regarding Joey's child, but was also distracted by the destructive thoughts of his own time without her , and readying himself for what he came to say to her. Silence then took over , with no more sounds of his mother trying to start meager conversation, as it appeared as though maybe in his distraction, maybe his mother understood his lapse in concentration to the conversation that she was trying to have with him, and knowing he was only attempting to process everything because she stopped trying. Although , it wasn't long before moving pictures became prevalent within his mind of the last time he'd seen her.

Joey.

Joey , and Pacey had gotten back together eventually after much time following Dawson's leave the first time , and many tries in the realm of relationships, but what seemed to have been right at the time because of seeing the proof of him changing, wasn't , then later showing the signs that he hadn't. The grand fallout had begun last year about this time , but the road to their own failure as a couple had started long before that, and it wasn't known completely until it was blantantly screamed at the reunion , the year before. The arrival of their daughter had served to show that no matter how he pretended otherwise, Pacey truly hadn't yet grown to accept the responsibility of a growing , strong , adult relationship, nor getting over the insecurities within himself.

Last year , during this time at the last reunion both of them came , as they had every year prior , but Pacey had arrived with Joey drunk, and it wasn't appearant until after they arrived that his girlfriend noticed. After a hour Pacey wanted to leave to go back home , and with Joey's persistance in wanting to stay , a argument broke out for all their friends to see. A quirrel that not only ended in Joey getting smacked on the face for the desire to stay, because of the insecurity within himself about his sort comings , but like before when they were together the first time one persons name came without his presence , amongst the accusations of what would happen if he had showed after Pacey left , and when he hadn't in years, but still it was true to him within his mind of the one , who in his belief was waiting to steal his Joey away.

Dawson

Afterwards, once their friends cohersed Pacey to return to the motel both were staying at , Joey stayed to enjoy the time with their friends, but when returning back to the place they got for the occasion, she got something the woman never expected. Pacey had been found in their bed with someone else , and once her presence was known the only thing that was offered was a statement , something like ..

"I left, before you could .."

Shortly after , Joey had confirmed the arrival of the bundle now expected in nine months , and knowledge that Joey, and Pacey known as a possibility a couple months prior, but now she couldn't remain with him , not anymore. Although she should have known that even with his love for children , that upon their breakup , Pacey hadn't shown himself , not even for his own .

Dawson's daydreams then merged into his own failure upon the success of finding love after Joey, and it was wonderful in the begining , but with time he realized something that once he had , to ignore it he pushed it away , and buried it underneath working with film.

His wife had many things about her that made him love her, but she was no Joey..

It wasn't long that things fell apart within their relationship , as well as their marriage , but it became then when it had that everything came out in a blur and in a way that Dawson never intended. During one night when his wife at dinner pushed for the reasons why , explaning the behavior he'd aqcuired over a duration of six months, following the moment during a production rehersal seeing his wife kiss another, even though it was known of the truth of what it was he couldn't get past the thoughts of who it had, and with her persistance came the angry yell telling her that reason over the course of a single moment when he told her , shattering her heart with the knowledge of the very thing that broke his .

"You really want to know , I'll tell ya .. It's her.. Ever since working on the production last year when I saw , nevermind .. I tried to move on but her memory just won't leave me alone ! I love you , but no matter how much I can pretend , you just aren't her..I can't do this anymore.."

Unfortunately, once those words were spoken they couldn't be taken back even if he wanted too , and he hadn't because Dawson then learned over much time that letting the one who still held his heart without either knowing until know, pretending to move on , releasing her from the chances to have his everthing go, was a mistake , being one he just couldn't continue anymore. Therefore , Dawson left , months went by , and things became bad , his life spiraling downhill until his friend , and the one he worked under in the begining had found him in the shape he was in once everything collapsed upon him weighing on his shoulders , buried underneath large quantities of alchohol .Years had passed by , leaving him alone, but is life set upon a different path , and one being a direction he felt Joey could be proud of because he felt it within himself , as though the girl were still with him in his heart, as she always had , though this time for some reason the beautiful woman he grown to know , to love , felt closer to him .

During his temporary leave of absence from film to sort out things, Dawson was online , and randomly looking through a site placed up for his childhood home within Capeside. Whilst wandering amongst pictures, pieces of news bits from the town , the man became overwhelmed with the need to return back to his home , and in doing so reclaim the keeper of his heart. Further searching , the homesick male looked inside old emails , within the abyss proving how his temporary lapse within life allowed him for awhile forget the one , and only place where he felt truly at home , as well as the ones who made it all real for him , left behind when he made the choice to leave so long ago, but the time passing by without him gave undeniable truth to the known regret that forgave anyone to share it with , even with those who were there in the begining , from the very start.

Indeed it was him that let them go, leaving her behind , but at the time it was felt it was the right thing to do , both going into the world to pursue their paths in life, grasp onto life's passions each one worked so hard for , and for Joey to know the person she was without him , but where did it leave him, at a standstill yearning for the one only existing ,regretfully within the memories amongst his past.

TBC...