This is set in the days after Ianto's return from suspension after Cyberwoman, told from his point of view.

Ghosts

They aren't talking me to me again so I've come down here where I can forget, if only for a while. I hate being here. I hate being so alone. I hate hurting all the time. And most of all I hate the fact that I have nothing else.

What's this? Another artefact that has been misplaced. Good, that's something I can do and justify staying out of the way. This one looks to be Verron. Perhaps one of their soothsayers visited here and left it. They seem to get everywhere, those soothsayers. Torchwood One had loads of Verron stuff, most of it left to moulder on shelves. They had no interest in anything that was not a weapon or could not be turned into one. I thought so, this is a Verron musical instrument. Better enter it on the database. There, done.

Now what? I am not going to go back upstairs yet. I don't need Owen's filthy looks to tell me I'm not wanted. Nor Gwen never meeting my gaze. Tosh tries but even she couldn't face me today. I don't know what to do about it. Jack says I should give them time but how much? What's it going to take for them to forgive me? Who am I kidding, they're never going to do that. I'm the one who betrayed the team and almost got them killed.

Here are some files in the wrong place. Who put files with titles starting with 'G' among the 'S's? They have had some seriously weird archivists in this place over the years. No, that's presuming too much. Cardiff never employed archivists, I'm convinced of that given the state of the records when I got here. Right, these files. Go'dillop. What's that when it's at home? Ah, I see, a race of beetles who swarmed over Cardiff thirty two years ago. Let's hope we never see them again. And the next file?

Oh no. Just when I think matters can't get any worse they do.

Ghosts.

But they weren't ghosts. Everyone saw them and rationalised them away as ghosts. The dead returning to comfort their loved ones. Some hope!

Bloody Torchwood One!

Bloody Yvonne Hartman!

Shall I read the file? Do I want to? Dare I? Shouldn't have thought that, never could refuse a dare. That's how I got nicked. 'Dare you to steal that sweater from Top Shop', that was all Huw had to say. Next thing I'm nicked and in court and then in gaol. Bloody fool. But the file, can I refuse to open it? Of course I can't. Not many papers. Not much here at all. Let's start at the beginning.

Okay, report from Suzie about the first appearance. She thought it was fishy then. Had a good nose for something being wrong, did Suzie. Shame she turned into a murderer. What's this? Jack's scribble, can't mistake that handwriting. "Spoke to Yvonne. She says okay but I doubt it. See what you can find out." So, Jack thought it was wrong too. Good for him. He may be a maverick but he shows good sense at times. And here's Suzie's next report. 'Analysis of the manifestation shows it's not ghosts. Definite signs of alien presence.' Well done, Suzie. Oh, now this is interesting. Jack went to London to speak to Yvonne. Beard the lion in her den, eh? Long report, he didn't just talk to her also spoke to … Bernie Thorpe! Well, well, well. Bernie the Bonce was a mole for Jack, was he? Would never have thought it, he was always sticking up for Yvonne. She liked him too, those in the know said they were having an affair. Which, I suppose, made him the perfect mole.

Oh no.

The report is so clear. Jack has written it in his own hand, there's no disputing it. He knew that the ghosts were bogus, that Yvonne was in danger of letting loose a danger on the whole world. Why didn't he do something about it!? Why did he come back to Cardiff and sit on his arse!? He could have saved them all. All my friends. The innocents. Lisa.

Do I want to read any more? No, not yet. That day was the worst of my life. Worse than when Tad died. Worse than that first night locked up in gaol. Worse than Lisa's recent rampage through the Hub. It started so normally. Into work, sit at my desk, check the e-mails, deal with the requests for artefacts and files. Package them up and send them out. Nothing difficult, nothing out of the ordinary. Until all hell breaks loose and the place is a war zone. Terror, that's what I remember most. Sheer, bloody terror as those creatures – the Cybermen – started rounding up people and converting them. I hid. No heroics for me, leave that to the others. And it worked. I survived – they didn't. Walking round the place afterwards, before the rescue services converged on the building. Finding Lisa.

I don't think I want to remember any more.

More from Suzie in the file. Reports of more ghost sightings and … what's this? Jack back in London again, meetings with the Prime Minister and UNIT chief, telling them of his concerns about Yvonne and the ghosts. Oh, that is not nice. Jack told off in no uncertain terms. I can't believe it! Stupid bloody politicians, what was the PM thinking!? Sharing Jack's concerns with Yvonne and telling her who raised them. He must have been mad! Hold on, how did Suzie get hold of these records from No. 10? Of course, this has Tosh's fingerprints all over it. No surprise Yvonne was mad, insisting Jack resign, step down from Torchwood Three before she sacked him. Oh that's nice. Yes, that's very nice. She may have been a murderer but she was loyal, I'll say that for Suzie. No, I was wrong, it was all of them. They all threatened to walk if Jack was removed. That is loyalty 'cos Torchwood One's reach was long. They'd never have got another decent job in this country.

Maybe I understand a bit better now. They were forged into a team by Canary Wharf and the pressures on Jack. Then I come along, a refugee from the same Torchwood One that threatened them. No wonder they saw me as an outsider and left me to myself most of the time. Not that I encouraged any other kind of response, I was too busy in the basement. Too busy planning to betray them. How the hell did Jack stop them and himself from blowing my brains out? Perhaps it would have been better if they had then I wouldn't hurt like this. I would be at peace, like Lisa. I would be with Lisa.

I still could be.

No, I don't want that.

Wow, I only just realised that I don't want to die. Life may be a bitch but I am not letting go of it, not yet. I want to show them, show Jack in particular, that I'm not going to be tossed around by circumstances any more. I can make my own way, make a difference by my actions, not just my inactions. Make a contribution here. And it starts now. No more running away when it gets tough, when the others pass comment or throw me a dirty look. I'm stronger than that. I'm going to show them that while I regret what happened, I did what I did for a good reason and I am not ashamed of it. I made a mistake in loving too deeply, too well but that's all. I am not ashamed to be alive.

Okay, those are good thoughts now go and put them into action.

Put this file away first, in the right place this time. Lay the ghosts to rest.

Thanks for the reviews so far, they are much appreciated.