4-Christian

After she walked away from me I wish I could disappear. To hear Tara saying those things made me feel worst and I didn't even know that was possible. I remember when she got expelled from the academy. I wasn't there to help her, but Ben was, when she was at home and her life was falling to the pieces I couldn't find strength to call her, and when I finally did, she ignored me. It hurts to see how terrible things are, and worst is to know that this is my fault. I'm kind of feeling I really don't deserve her, but I refuse to believe she doesn't feel anything about me anymore.

I searched for Kat like crazy, if things had to be solved we would have to work together, and make up our minds before we could talk to Tara. I saw her sitting alone in one of the café's tables. I took the sit next to her, but she kept looking down for a while.

- Hi. – I whispered.

She didn't answer me.

- I know we haven't been talking these days. Especially since Sammy told us how he was feeling about this, and how we were using him to hang out. I think it is about time for us to talk this out.

- I agree.

- We went way too far this time Kat.

- And for what? It didn't work out.

- I know I told you I felt something about you, but you were right the whole time, I was fooling myself to pretend I wasn't in love with… Tara.

- I know.

- And… I miss being friends with you.

- Me too. – She finally looked at me, she took a deep breath – We screwed everything.

- Yes, we did.

- When I called Tara, I could feel the pain in her voice.

- Well, at least she got your call.

We kept silent for a while, and then Kat took my hand making me turn to look at her.

- So… What are we? Friends?

- I guess, if that is ok with you.

She smiled.

- I came to realize that the attraction I felt for you, is not worth losing your and Tara's friendship. I have been feeling stupid and lonely all this time, but I was too afraid of talking to you or her.

- I know how it feels like. So… Friends? – I extended my hand for her to shake.

She shook it and then hugged me friendly.

- I've missed this, friend. – She looked at me smiling.

- Me too.

- So… What do we do now?

- I guess we should find a way to talk to Tara, the three of us together.

- I think she is not looking forward to it. Maybe we should ask Ben's help.

- No, we are not putting him into this.

- Why? They have been close lately.

- He has nothing to do with this.

- Wait… Christian… Are you jealous?

I didn't answer her; I just looked down at my feet.

- Yes you are! You still love Tara!

- Fine, I am jealous ok. Are you happy now? I can't stand to look at that guy, Tara is a thousand miles away, and he just seems to push her further.

- Look, they are just friends. Ben has totally been friendzoned, trust me.

I looked away trying to put that in my mind, they are just friends and suddenly I saw Tara… With Ben.

- Really? You sure? – I pointed the end of the pier, where they were standing together.

Kat followed with her eyes until she found them. She looked kind of surprised but she put herself together to look at me.

- Look this doesn't mean anything, I am standing here talking to you just like they are and we are not dating.

Maybe she was right, maybe they were just friends, but I wasn't going to take the risk, I had to solve things with her, and keep Ben where he was, in the friendzone.