Infamy - 汚名
4
After everything was all said and done, and Hakuba and I had healed and rested enough to make it, my trip to Konoha was uneventful. Aside from the pain that is. I was still leaving behind my home, even if my family had shrunk during the attack. It was only Arisa, Ichigo, and Kenma of my close friends. Then again, Uzushio wasn't mine to have. It was Kushina's. That was something I had to remind myself every time I felt entitled to stay. It's not like they could force me to stay in Konoha forever, I would come back sooner or later to see how well it was doing. Even as I left, I knew that I would return to help Arisa at her mother's shop once it had been rebuilt. Even more than that, I would go to show off everything I learned from Mito to Kenma and Ichigo.
That sent a pang through my heart as I clutched the picture to my chest. The both of them had a copy each as Wataru (he'd survived the blast with severe burns and his strong will to live), as a thank you, had been kind enough to duplicate them with a jutsu of his. I sighed, feeling comfort from just touching it, as I tried to keep up with the long strides of Hakuba. Surprisingly enough, a lot of our journey was done on foot, and not on the horses I expected to get on after the boat ride to the main land. It turned out that, as we spent the next four days either sleeping up in a tree or walking through the forests, Hakuba had a very keen sense of direction. He was never lost, it seemed. Well, he never used his Byakugan, that's for sure.
It was particularly tasking for me on the first day, but by the second day, it was easier. Most likely because the first was mostly mountains and the second day was mostly going down hill. Either way, Hakuba made for a crabby traveling partner. He seemed to disapprove of my manners, even as I tried to keep respectful and polite. It was just hard after spending so much time with loud voices and impolite speech. He was especially appalled with how I ate food, but I had no clue on why. In Uzushio, we never used a lot of utensils. It would just cost too much to import from the main land, so we usually ate with our hands. Even in Mika's shop it was like that. You paid extra for any silverware.
By the third day, I was still trying to get comfortable with the metal chopsticks he gave me. Don't get me wrong, I knew how to eat with chopsticks, but they were usually wood because metal was expensive. Besides, who on Earth wanted to eat with such slippery things. I'd lost count on how often the chopsticks fell out of my hands and fell to the dirty ground, causing Hakuba's face to pale. That was pretty funny, I guess, but what was the funniest thing about Hakuba was his hair. I still couldn't get over it. Was it a choice or had he been attacked?
The question haunted me.
On the fourth day, we reached Konoha and I had never seen a man so relieved to get away from such a pretty girl as he quickly left me with the chuunin at the gates. At the joke in my head, I chortled with laughter. The chuunin looked lost on what to do with me and gazed at me as if I had lost my sanity.
"Poor thing, must be from having spent too long with Hyuuga-san."
"Yeah," agreed the second chuunin but I just shook my head.
"Hakuba-san is just funny is all," I explained.
The two of them shared glances as the first one repeated under her breath, "Poor thing."
The second guy was the one who agreed to take me to the Hokage's office while the other one stayed to keep diligent watch on the gates. The walk to our destination left me pretty exhausted as I finally felt the exhaustion of my travels. I got so sleepy that I ended up asking the chuunin to carry me the rest of the way. He complied but his back was so bumpy and hard that it was difficult to get comfortable.
Before long, we came to the door as the chuunin knocked after having put me down and the Hokage called us in, voice easily crossing the distance. Even from having prior knowledge on who he was, I was still taken aback. He looked younger and his voice was heavier. It was a bit off-putting too, the look in his eyes. It was colder than I expected.
"I presume you're Kushina Uzumaki," he started off with.
"At your service, dattebane," I said nervously, hoping his eyes would move away. Thankfully, they did as he referred to the chuunin.
"You may head back to your post."
"Yes," the boy promptly left, looking slightly unsettled. So the man had that affect on everybody. I guess his kindness came with age. It was still a little disappointing to say the least.
"Welcome to Konohagakure," Sarutobi said to me as his lips came to smile. It didn't reach his eyes.
"Thank you," I mumbled, still feeling completely petrified. It seemed unfair that they do this to me, at the measly age of five. I half wished that the chuunin had stayed.
"Do you require an explanation as to why you're here?"
I shook my head, "I'm going to be Mito-sama's replacement as the Jinchuuriki."
"Have you come to terms with this?"
"No," I said honestly, fighting the desire to run and hide from this man's gaze. His gaze was what I had thought Shimura Danzo's would be like and if the Hokage was this way, I could only imagine what he was like.
"No?"
"I'm giving my life away. It's not an easy thing to come to terms with. I'll be feared and my life will be dramatically altered. However, I wanted to make a deal with you."
His brows shot up, "A deal?"
"If I comply with everything I'm told to do, I wish to visit my family when it's acceptable for me to do so."
"Hmm, this request is acceptable. If you comply, I'll have you return to visit your family."
Alright! Now I was buzzing with excitement, "So when do I meet Mito-sama?"
"Right now," Sarutobi smiled, and for the first time, it was actually a real one. Ah, so he does have it in him. His gaze traveled to look behind me and that's when I met the gaze of the most beautiful woman I had laid eyes on. Like from my past life's memories, she was definitely old yet she carried this air of youth, the Uzumaki blood burning brightly. Her eyes were sharp, like gemstones, and her hair tied very neatly into two side buns as the rest of her hair cascaded down her waist. Her red hair had become less vibrant as the gray had made it's way in, but she was still very beautiful. It didn't help that when she smiled at me, it was the most genuine smile to a stranger that I had ever seen. I couldn't fathom why, but she came forward, only to hug me tightly.
"Ah! The hero of Uzushiogakure! How was your trip, Kushina-chan?" She asked, treating me as if I were her own flesh and blood. Like a granddaughter. I blinked but nodded.
"It was very fun. Hakuba-san is interesting."
"Did you pull pranks on him?" She asked, excitement clear in her eyes, but her chiding voice seemed to mask it, "Although, if you ask me, Hakuba-kun needs to live a little," she had whispered in my ear and I found myself giggling like a school girl.
"I agree," I whispered back, before saying in a louder tone, "I resisted with all my might and made it the entire trip fighting my whims. I can't promise for when I see him next, 'ttbane!" I exclaimed.
"I'll have to teach you some tricks to behaving then, won't I?" Mito winked, smiling down at me mischievously. Mito was an Uzumaki through and through.
To Be Loved - 愛されたい
Mito was a very kind person most of the time, but a very scary person when you got on her nerves. Although I can't speak about the latter as I'd never seen her angry, I saw how everyone around her seemed to tiptoe. Despite what I heard when I eavesdropped for more information, I always felt so warm and safe in her presence and she was never anything but kind and supportive as I suffered through adjusting to life in Konoha. For one thing, everyone was quieter than what I was used to and more subdued.
When I brought it up to Mito all she said was, "I thought it was strange at first, too. But over time you realize that the Uzumaki are just built differently than the rest and that they're all still good people. They're just not as outwardly passionate."
I had nodded, "I get it, but it's still kind of creepy." It wasn't a feeling I could help. If another person was in the room, and this happened too often for my tastes, they were so quiet I wouldn't even notice until they either called my name or touched my shoulder. It was as bad as a jump scare in a video game. Every time I brought up things like that, she would usually just laugh and comment about how ninja's were like cats and how I'll get used to it eventually when I joined the Academy in Konoha.
The Academy. I sigh every time I think of it. Mi-Ugh, I couldn't even think his name. I wished I could just stay with Mito like I was now, taking my lessons from her. Mito was a very good teacher too. She was diligent like Satsuki and fun like Jurata. She continued my calligraphy and had taught me the shorthand she'd made herself to keep her scrolls and fuinjutsu private and safe. When I asked why I was trusted with knowing her codes, she just shook her head and said something I'm sure I'll never forget.
"Kushina-chan, I regard you as my own next of kin, for all intents and purposes. You see, we will share a special bond, you and I. One that can only be shared with other Jinchuuriki. The pride, the responsibility, and the hardships, that is what makes our role so important. I want you to never be ashamed of what you are. I want you to live as a ninja that shocks the world, and one that is respected for the weight you carry as an Uzumaki Jinchuuriki."
I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry as I moved even further into her warmth.
"Oh, Kushina-chan, never doubt that you are loved."
.
"Thank you," was all I could say as I choked back the tears.
Now, Mito was flitting about, admiring her handy work as she gazed at the outfit she'd made for my first day at school, which would be tomorrow. It was exactly as I recalled it from the manga. It almost felt sacrilegious, not that Kushina or her Academy outfit was an object or person of religion. Yet they sort of was. To me, at least. In my past life, I had been known for the shrines I made in honor of my favorite Naruto characters. I couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt over wearing it and looking just as Kushina had on her first day of school.
Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the feeling, tugging nervously at my long bright red hair. I had to do something. Quicker than what Mito could recognize what I was doing, I grabbed her scissors and chopped a chunk of hair off. The guilt didn't disappear. I'd made a grave mistake. It was almost like cutting Kushina's beloved hair was seven worse then wearing her clothes.
Mito just stared at me in quiet shock before she took the scissors out of my shaking hand, before gently saying, "If you wanted a haircut, you could have just said so."
"Kaa-san wears her hair short," I mumbled softly, feeling like a criminal.
"I see," Mito replied with calmly as she got to work fixing my, Kushina's ruined hair. With each lock of hair gone as it got shorter and shorter, it felt like a punch to the gut. How could I...? I'm sorry, Kushina, I'm so sorry.
In the end, Mito cut it so that it ended just a little bit above my shoulders and studied, biting her own lip as in thought before let out a soft, "Ah! I know what's missing." The Uzumaki woman then walked a little bit away as she reached into a tiny nap sack that was decorated with seals that held no chakra. She pulled out two hair pins and walked back to me. With a definite plan in her head, she pinned my bangs to the side, using both of them to contain my thick vibrant red hair.
"This way, you can face your classmates with pride in your Uzumaki heritage because these pins were given to me by my mother. I'd like for you to keep them, and if you ever have a daughter, I'd love for you to pass it down to her," Mito grinned as my eyes filled with tears.
"You're the greatest Obaa-san ever," I mumbled before I checked myself, "I m-mean, you're not old-."
"Obaa-san, hmm, has a nice ring to it, ne? I wouldn't mind you calling me that."
I froze for a second before launching myself into her side, "Obaa-san, I love you!"
"I love you too, Kushina-chan."
To Be Loved - 愛されたい
I stood in front of the thirty-three faces of the monsters I'd be going to school with for the rest of my Academy days. My new teacher, Ruta Biru, was even forcing me to introduce myself to the entire class by myself. A special place in hell should be made for people who did stuff like that as the self introduction could literally make or break my social life, and in Kushina's case, it totally broke. But I was not without preparation. Mito had been kind enough to cook me breakfast this morning and as we enjoyed it together, Mito asked about my plans for my 'big day'. I'd simply told her that the plan was to stay out of trouble.
"You're real plan should just to be yourself," she had said and it suddenly clicked why Kushina had been so defensive and blunt. It was simply who she was at that time. Defensive because she was seen as an outsider, and blunt because Uzumaki were too impatient to doddle around riddles or rules. But as for me, I didn't even really know who I was at this point. Was I my past self? A girl who I couldn't even recall the name of? Or was I actually Kushina? Both were wrong. I wasn't that old girl any more. Yet I wasn't Kushina either, at least not the real one. No, I was someone in the middle. A somewhat brash, yet polite, loud, yet quiet and sincere, yet mischievous girl. I guess I was made of so many contradictions to help me find who I really was. At least, that was what I made out of it. So I followed Mito's advice and went for it.
Or was going to.
Before I said anything at all, I found myself doing looking at the familiar chubby cheeked boy who's hair defied gravity. It was all so real in that moment, as my eyes widened. This was the man who would become the future Hokage, the man who would stop the war, the man who Kushina married and loved. He was the father of Naruto. He just stared curiously at me back and I suddenly wanted to run to the hills as fast as I could.
"A-Ano," I started for as I felt Minato's gaze burn into my forehead. That wasn't good and my body felt it. I thought I was going to throw up as I had a sudden outburst, "I'm Kushina Uzumaki, 'ttebane!" My voice was too loud and I heard sniggers heard around the class. I felt dizzy as I replied back in a yell, "Huh, you all want to fight!? I'll totally win, you know, because one day I'll be the first female Hokage, 'ttbane!"
Did I really just say that? Really? It was the only thing my hazy brain could come up with as I did my best to avoid looking at Minato. Oh, to be back with Mito in her safe, comfy room.
"Ne, looks like Namikaze-kun has some competition," One brat in the back of the room said.
I would have murdered him if I could as I watched the entire class burst out into laughter.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Minato just simply smiling and almost lost it as I yelled, "I'm serious, 'ttebane!" Although, I wasn't. I didn't want to be Hokage, and neither did Kushina. She just wanted the recognition of her peers and not as some outsider.
"Ah, she looks like a tomato!" One boy hollered out and I nearly saw red. How dare he call Kushina a tomato? No matter how delicious they were, that was an insult I couldn't dare let slid. Years of living with the Uzumaki has taught me to never pass up a challenge. So I used the technique Mito had taught me a few days ago. Even with short hair I could pull it off perfectly.
Infusing chakra into my hair, I charged them up and didn't even need to feel for gravity defying tendrils of red hair. I could see the kid's reactions of a mixture of fear and confusion as I hissed out, "Is that a challenge? Because I will take any of you on and win!" I knew I could too. I fought with the toughest boys in my class all the time. Spars occurred daily in Uzushio for the sake of maintaining a reputation to be feared and acknowledged. That's how things were done in Uzushio.
Safe to say, that my self introduction was a mess and my new teacher recognized it as so when he just sighed. I wanted to sigh too, knowing I had done exactly what I had planned to avoid.
"Class, that's enough. Kushina-chan, go sit next to Minato Namikaze-kun."
Oh, dear, kill me now.
To Be Loved - 愛されたい
"I'm home!" I called into the silence as I entered the very traditional house that Mito lived in the Senju clan home as an adviser to the head of the clan and the widowed wife of Hashirama. The Senju clan had actually been fairly pleasant to me, and from the way the family treated Mito, it like Senju was a Senju and not an Uzumaki. I didn't really mind but nothing could convince me that Mito was even-tempered like the Senju. She was too sneaky with her pranks, I guess.
"Ah, welcome home!" Mito said, her energy high as she came to embrace me. Lately, I'd been worried about her health more and more, wishing she'd stay healthy forever. It wasn't like the Uzumaki to die from a illness, "How was school today?"
I bit my lip, considering telling her the truth, "It was horrible!" I declared, "Someone said I looked like a tomato!"
"Tomato's are delicious but even you don't look like a tomato," Mito considered it, "I'd say you're more like a habanero pepper."
"That's what I thought," I said, a giggle coming forth as I tightly embraced Mito.
"Anything else happened to make it a horrible day?" She asked, her voice laced with curiosity.
"I messed up on my self introduction, Obaa-san," I said, shoulders sinking in defeat, "I messed up really bad."
"How bad?"
"I said I would be the first female Hokage..." I mumbled quietly.
"Hmm," Mito sounded thoughtful before she finally said, "I think that's the perfect position for someone as tough and strong as you."
I grinned, "You think?"
"I do. I know you would make an excellent Hokage. And what an honor it would be to be the first female!"
"But," I pouted, "there was this other boy who says the same thing."
"What's he like?" Mito patiently asked as she led the two of us into the kitchen for snacks.
"He's like...weird," I settled on, "He's quiet and I don't think he has parents but he's nice to everyone and patient."
"And that's weird?" Mito snorted.
"Yeah!" I cheered, "I think he's best in the class right now too."
"Ah!" Mito exclaimed, "What a wonderful rival then. Fitting, for the best kunoichi in the village! So what's the boy's name?"
"His name is Minato Namikaze. He's blonde with really pr-big blue eyes."
"Not with as pretty eyes as you have," Mito grinned down at me as she handed me a stick of dango, "I made these myself."
I quickly ate the first one, eyes wide, "This is really good, Obaa-san!"
"I'm glad you like it, Kushina-chan," Mito said, taking a bite out of her own dango, "Now, how about we go about learning some seals?"
"Yes!" I whooped, getting excited to be learning from the greatest seals master in the world, "With your help, I'll be the best Hokage ever!"
"Of course!"
To Be Loved - 愛されたい
The next day in class, I found myself sitting bored in it, twiddling my thumbs as Ruta-sensei taught everything I'd learned in Uzushio. The only one who seemed to be as bored as me was the boy sitting right next to me. I watched in the corner of my eye as he solved math problems on his text book, creating them and solving them in an unending cycle. It was almost humorous but when I saw he was completing problems even I had issues with, I felt a hint of annoyance. I deliberated on what to do, knowing I had to do something or I'd go insane.
So I opened my own textbook. Thinking of the hardest problem I could and writing it down, I shifted it over so he could see. Minato looked at me curiously, questioning before copying the problem onto his own paper and solving it in a matter of seconds. Pursing my lips, and scrunching up my brows, I set out to make an impossible solve. It took me a few minutes, but when I finally created it, he was already waiting, and the cycle repeated as he easily completed what seemed like an impossible math problem. I studied his answer, almost thinking he made it up.
So I wrote on my paper, a tad bit put off, 'Can you show me how you did that?'
Instead of outright replying, he just rewrote the problem out and explained each step he took in great detail. I blinked, realizing that I couldn't even dream to beat Minato at math. At least not with my current skill level.
'You know,' I wrote onto his own paper, as I moved closer to him, 'being good at math isn't one of the traits to become Hokage.' I then drew out a frustrated face before adding on, 'I'll become the first female Hokage. Just you watch!'. Okay, I know, I'm a bit stupid, talking to the enemy like this. After I moved away again, I studied his face as he read my message. With the tiniest of smiles, he returned the favor by scooting in closer to me and writing on my own journal.
'I'll cheer you on, if you cheer me on.'
His handwriting was nice... No, get yourself together! He's the enemy. Wasting not even a second, I replied by whispering into his ear, doing my best not to be overheard (I was bad at whispering, like most Uzumaki), "May the best one win." With that, I pulled away and closed my notebook, promptly ignoring the hell out of Minato, or trying to. Out of damned curiosity, I found myself glancing back, just to see his reaction. To see it, was like an attack.
Minato was blushing. Actually blushing.
My own face flamed brightly as I felt my cheeks warm up considerably. I didn't even like him! Feeling dismayed, I cupped my cheeks with my cool hands and prayed Minato would leave me alone.
He did, that is, until our next class.
Ruta-sensei wasn't our taijutsu teacher. He just taught us the things for the written exam and the intellectual things. Kurosawa-sensei, an middle aged woman with a strict regime, took care of the taijutsu training for my entire grade. She was pretty scary, if I was honest, but she was sincerely trying to get us prepared for the worst. I was totally okay with her and her teaching methods, thinking that she resembled Satsuki a little in that nature, when it all changed.
Today was sparring day, to show case all we had learned in class, and being as I had only been in school for two days, I only had my clan's fighting technique. I had excelled in my last school, having been only second to Ichigo and even then, I had been able to beat him on the rare occasion that I was motivated. But here, Kurosawa-sensei had been appalled when she saw my practicing the katas of my clan. It seemed she was hellbent on wanting all girls to fight like girls.
From the way she spent more time with the girls than the boys, I could tell she held a lot of pride for kunoichi. More so than that, however, she held pride in the fact even with the feminine way of fighting, it could cause even more damage than the boy's way of taijutsu. I wasn't really a stickler for gender norms but by the way Kurosawa-sensei had spent most of class time with me, trying to teach me a better way to fight, she was a stickler for such things.
It was almost kind of disappointing to her to find that a masculine formation worked better than the one she wanted us girls to use.
My tomboyish nature only seemed to add to the flame of my bullies as the teasing was relentless. But I didn't really care much. Yesterday, I had blown a gasket because of Minato, and not actually because I was one to rise to the bait. No, I was happier just focusing on improving my taijutsu skills.
Moving on, however, I was rather unhappy today because who had Kurosawa-sensei chosen as my sparring partner? Minato. He was haunting me, I could feel it.
Luckily, we would be the last pair to fight as everyone else in the class watched fight after fight. I was too distracted to even focus on the other kids. Because I was in trouble. I knew literally nothing about his fighting stance or tricks. The only thing I could assume was that he still only knew the Academy taught katas and wasn't yet under the tutelage of Jiraiya.
I could only pray so I didn't get my ass kicked.
By the time is was our turn, the whole class was laughing and patting his back for encouragement as he made is way to the ring in which the spars took place in. Kurosawa-sensei, not wanting anyone seriously hurt, had come up with the rule that if one person was moved out of the ring, then the match went to the person remaining within the circle. I aimed to do just that.
We both took our stance, noticing that my stance was largely different to his. But it wasn't the Academy's form. Blowing out a breath as Kurosawa-sensei called the match to start, I jumped forward. He dodged my sweeping kick easily and I noticed that even at a young age he was fast. I smirked, finding myself enjoying the fun as I ducked down, missing the punch he sent toward my jaw, himself leaning too forward into it. Using the momentum brought on by his lost balance, I wrenched his legs out from underneath him, as he landed on his back with a thud.
I grinned, watching as he didn't pause long before using the fact that my arms were still clutching his ankles to quickly to a spin, releasing himself just as he used his arms to flip himself into a standing position. We faced each other, studying the other as we guessed who would break the standoff. Unexpectedly, it was him as he ran at him, fist at the ready as he brought punch after punch much to my excitement. I blocked each one with my forearm, surprised at how weak his punches were. Well I guess he was focused more the speed things.
"I'll show you what a real punch is like, 'ttebane!" I declared, breaking away from him as I charged my fist with chakra, easily knocking aside the arm he intended to block with and hitting him square in the gut. The air whooshing out of him was such a satisfying sound, I took this as my chance to push him out of the circle. This had been easier than I had thought it would be...
Minato pushed back, catching me thoroughly off guard as I gave way, the both of falling into a heap. Our eyes met and for the first time I noticed he had a flat out grin on his face. My face flamed just as quickly as I looked away, suddenly lost in what to do. I heard him chuckle before leaning in close to say in my ear, "May the best one win."
Face even hotter than before, I was suddenly charged with the anger and determination the Uzumaki was known for. I pushed him aside, hair waving wildly as I shouted, "I'm only five!" Confusion showed on his face but he had crossed the line all the way into harassment- never mind the fact that I did it first - and I was thirsty for blood. His blood. Fist charged with chakra, I wordlessly punched him in the face, watching as his nose broke in odd fascination, feeling only slight guilt. But I wasn't done yet and there was no time for guilt. Charging my entire arms with chakra, I lifted him up and tossed him out of the ring.
"Now," I said, panting, face still hot, "that is how it's done."
Minato stood up, noticing he had lost, he gave an unexpected smiled as he held a hand out, "The best one won, right?"
I felt a vein in my head throb, as I wordlessly yanked tissue out of the hidden pocket Mito had added in when I requested it. I tossed it to him with a muttered, "Clean yourself up, you idiot, 'ttebane!"
"Ah, thank you," Minato replied with, touching the tissue to his nose and pulled it back, seemingly surprised there was blood.
"That was a good fight, Kushina-chan. But I would refrain from using chakra next time," Kurosawa-sensei said and I cringed knowing that being chastised would only fuel the bullying. I couldn't change it even if I tried as I watched all the kids nod to themselves in agreement. They were all gonna team up on me in a consensus of hate. But that was something to be concerned with for another time. Instead, I found myself gazing at the one who would be called Konoha's Yellow Flash. He was staring at me too, blue eyes wide as if he'd finally come to understand something. I quickly looked away, face red as I did my best to ignore the hell out of him.
Who knew Minato would be such a weirdo.
To Be Loved - 愛されたい
Sometimes I still had nightmares about what happened in Uzushio.
Mito was never the wiser due to my silence of the matter and the fact that we slept in different rooms.
Sometimes I stared awake at night, just looking at the sealing until my eyes grew too dry to even think of crying.
Sometimes I looked through my mother's memories in search of comfort.
Yet, even I tried to push it aside, other times I would think of Naruto and I would feel such a sense of duty that would it so that loving Minato wouldn't matter, and it wouldn't matter if I wasn't Kushina.
Naruto just had to be real.
To Be Loved - 愛されたい - End
A/N: 愛されたい 'aisaretai' can also mean "You will be loved" or "I want love" and I thought it was fitting to name the chapter she meets Mito and Minato in as such.
Cough. I named her new teacher Root Beer. Cough.