Chapter 4
As tired as Darcy was, he could not help waking in the middle of the night. He kept hearing her words and he was angry with himself. Why could he not tell her? She may have been satisfied. It was possible. He rose and paced around his room. After a half hour, he knew he could not sleep. He went and lit a candle, setting it on his desk. For awhile, he stood across the room staring at the paper and quill he always set out. Eventually, he was decided. He went and sat down. His letter was as follows:
6 o'clock, March 2
Netherfield
Dear Miss Bingley,
I apologize to you, your sister, and your brother for being absent so frequently in the past month. I assure you that I intend to return in a fortnight. Understand I would have written to your brother, but what with how things are settled, I could not. I request your help, as a woman. Rest assured I only ask for your advice. If you are willing to assist me, I beg that you send a hurried response to your brother's house in Hertfordshire. There is no cause for your presence here, but I do wish very much for your aid. I hope you are all well in London. Do not bother telling the others I have written.
Yours, etc,
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Mr. Darcy felt how very improper it was to send a letter to an unmarried woman. Not to mention how improper it was to write the very contents of the letter he had just written, but he truly did wish for the advice of an uninvolved party and she was that. Here, it makes sense for me to pause and point out how very involved Miss Bingley considered herself. Let alone how she would take such a letter, but Mr. Darcy is not aware of Miss Bingley's attentions for she has always been the same way toward him and any time when he is in the room, she behaves the same toward him.
He then returned to bed to rest for he could not sleep. Soon, he knew that the letter he'd written was not worth sending. No doubt, he would have to explain more than he wished if the letter was ever sent. He stood and went back to his desk where the letter lay, freshly sealed. He scraped off the wax and held the letter to the flame. It was burnt quickly. He wanted to ask someone's opinion, but he could imagine no one fit to help with this problem. Bingley? No. Lady Catherine? An absolute no. Colonel Fitzwilliam? Possibly, but he really had no direct knowledge on the subject. Georgiana? No. She shouldn't have to help him. But would she? Could she? Doubtfully, he sat down to inform her that he would be coming to town later that day and that he may bring her to Hertfordshire with him if it pleased her. He closed the letter with 'Your affectionate brother, Fitzwilliam Darcy' and folded and sealed it. He set it aside to cool and leaned back in his chair. He stared at the letter for a long time, but eventually stood and went to his dressing room to put on his more formal clothes.
By 8:30, he was ready and set out for town to send the letter express. He rode his horse back to Netherfield slowly. He could not handle being idle, but he did not know if he was strong enough to go to Longbourn. He knew he had to decide quickly. Would she want him to come? What would she do if he didn't? In the end, the risk was too great and he decided against going. If he was questioned about it, he could always make up some business or other that had to be settled.
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Georgiana sat in the drawing room with Mrs. Annesley. They had just come to stay in her brother's house in London and she was waiting till he returned from Hertfordshire. The grand clock chimed 5 o'clock.
"Miss Darcy." Mrs. Annesley spoke softly "It is time for tea. Would you like some?" Georgiana turned to her and smiled.
"Yes, thank you." She returned to the window, watching the street as people hurried along to their own engagements. As the maid came in to the drawing room to deliver the tea and biscuits, Georgiana saw a man on a horse stop on the street and approach the house. He reached down and pulled out a letter. Georgiana could barely contain her hopes that it was from her brother to herself. She went and sat on the couch by Mrs. Annesley, reaching towards the coffee table and sipping her tea. A minute or two later, the maid came in again, bearing a letter for 'Miss Darcy'. She took it and read it.
"What is it Georgiana?" Mrs. Annesley asked.
"It is from my brother. He is coming tomorrow. He says he may take me to Hertfordshire with him." She was glowing with happiness.
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Once again at Netherfield, he could think of nothing important to do, so as usual on a day lacking entertainment, he went to the library. He was not surprised that his friend's collection was in great need. However, he knew that was Bingley's business so, he did not vex himself. Soon, he was sitting in one of the great chairs that he was sure Bingley would not have gotten without his sister's insistence. He held in his lap ———, a book he had most certainly read, but would have to do. It lay open, and his eyes were cast downward on it, but he did not read. He now understood what Bingley had meant that evening. He had said: "...I assure you that, if Darcy were not such a great tall fellow, in comparison with myself, I should not pay him half so much deference. I declare I do not know a more awful object than Darcy, on particular occasions, and in particular places; at his own house especially, and of a Sunday evening, when he has nothing to do." He had to laugh a bit at how true Bingley probably was. He thought back to the moments that Elizabeth had spent in the very house he sat in now. He remembered how she had looked like when Bingley said that. She had looked amused. He had thought she would laugh, so he had smiled despite his offense. She had checked it though, he was surprised at first, but later he decided it was the perfect response. He had barely been able to disguise his annoyance toward Miss Bingley when she had begun to criticize him for 'speaking nonsense'. His mind continued to wander and soon he found himself wondering what Elizabeth was doing at that moment. Was she as miserable as he? He doubted it. She did not deserve such misery in any case. Darcy knew that he had to find some way of finding out her regard. Soon, he came up with an idea that he thought would certainly let him know at the very least.
He cast his book aside and quickly made his way to his bedroom. He wrote a quick note and called for a servant.
"Have this sent to Longbourn at once." He commanded. The man set out, going to the stables and heading to the Bennet's home.
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He spent the rest of the day preparing to leave. He was to ride to London as it would be quicker and he would not have to bring clothes. He gave orders as to when he was to return and set off for London.