Kate Beckett awoke the next morning with only one thought in her mind.
What the hell have I done?
Kate was a runner. She never let herself get close to anyone because she was too afraid. She was too afraid of getting hurt. Ever since her mother's death, she'd had stone walls up around her emotions. She always wanted to make sure she was safe and in control.
And her control had just completely slipped away.
She always liked to know what was going on in her relationships. But now, if you could even call this a relationship, she had no idea.
She did what she did by nature. She ran.
Slipping on her LuluLemon yoga pants and one of Castle's button-down shirts, the detective made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Popping a piece of bread into the toaster, she settled down on a stool to think.
Last night had been amazing. After Esposito had headed back to the precinct, she and Castle had…well, a little more fun. She hadn't kissed anyone that way in…well, a long time. And Castle was an amazing kisser. The way his lips moved against hers, soft, gentle and slow…it was like they were made to fit each other.
But now, was she really second-guessing herself? Was that what this was? Getting up early in the morning, making herself a coffee, sitting in her partner's apartment and thinking about whether she should walk out the door. She didn't want to. But she was afraid that if she stayed, the man upstairs would break her heart. That she would just be another of his conquests. And she didn't want that.
But hadn't Rick already proved her wrong? Hadn't he shown her how much he cared? He'd waited for her for three whole years. He never once tried to make a move on her. He'd waited until she was ready. So why was she so worried?
"Kate?"
The detective looked up and smiled. "Alexis! What are you doing up?"
"Just getting a glass of water," the redheaded girl explained happily. "How are you?"
"Oh, I'm…fine. You?"
"You don't look fine."
Damn, thought Kate. How the hell did someone this perceptive come from someone like Castle?
"Well…it really isn't even that important."
Alexis cocked an eyebrow. "Kate, I'm old enough for you to tell me anything. And I like you, Kate. I really do. So, if there's anything wrong…"
"Promise not to laugh?"
"Maybe."
And there was the Castle gene.
"It's…well, I'm second-guessing myself. I mean, everything I want, or everything I thought I want…I'm not sure if I want it anymore."
"If you want it, why would you second-guess?"
Kate thought about that before answering. The last thing she needed was Castle's daughter knowing everything she thought. "Maybe the…thing…I want is chancy. Maybe I'm scared I'll get broken again."
Alexis sighed. "Dad won't hurt you, Kate."
Kate's eyes popped open and she stiffened in her chair.
"How did you –"
"Oh please, Kate. You're staying over at our house until you get a new place. You spend every hour of your day with my dad. And I can see it in your eyes. You love him. And Kate, I know you've been hurt before, but I think you really have to trust that he loves you back." The girl paused. "Look. I know dad's got a messy record. He's not the best guy on the planet for that. But if there's one thing I know about my dad, it's that he's loyal as anything. He doesn't get bored if he's in it for real. So…just go for it."
"But –"
"But nothing. You and dad have had this coming for years. It's about damn time something happen."
Kate was shocked. She had always thought of Alexis as a mature teenager, but she'd never thought she'd been this insightful. She had absolutely nothing to say that could possibly prove her point.
"Kate, honestly, just go for it. I don't mind, Grams doesn't mind…you have our blessings if that's what you wanted."
The detective was dumbfounded. It was all she could do to take a deep breath, take a step towards the girl and hug her. "Thank you, Alexis." She smiled. "I needed that."
"Anytime, Kate." With that, the redheaded girl filled her glass with water and retreated to her bedroom.
"Hi."
"Hi."
This is it, Kate thought. The do-or-die moment. He either wants me or not.
"Listen, Rick–"
"Can I tell you a story?"
Kate stopped mid-sentence and looked up at him. She bit her lip, reddening. "Uh…sure."
"Three years ago, there was a man who was bored with everything. He had a daughter, a family, money. He had, it would seem, a perfect life. But he was bored. He wanted more, he wanted something new. Everything was so typical to him. He was being swallowed up in his so-called 'perfect' world. But then, one day, a woman came up to him. She was different than anyone he'd ever met. She was strong, smart and sexy. She was beautiful. She wasn't another arm-clutching blonde. She kept him on his toes. In all the time the man knew her, he tried to see anything in her that was vulnerable or weak. But there was nothing. And," Rick's eyes were serious now, his breathing coming slowly and nervously, "she never changed for him. She didn't care that he was rich or that he had fame. She didn't care about any of it. All she cared about was truth and justice." The writer was close to her now, his eyes staring down into hers. Kate kept her breathing steady and slow, even though she was coming completely undone on the inside.
"And who," she said quietly, "would this girl be?"
Castle smiled and leaned even closer. Their lips were almost touching. "This girl," he said in the same tone as she had spoken in, "isn't too far away."
Kate was completely still. She was still biting her lip, nervous.
Then Castle said the three words that spun her world around. The eight letters that changed everything.
"I love you."
Don't shoot. This seemed a lot longer when I first wrote it.
They had to have the talk at some point, right? :) So anyways, here it is. Review? It would make me happy:)