Charlie: thank you everyone for reviewing my story so far. The humor's a little poor in this one. A band attempt.

Do you guys like Berserk? The anime, I mean. I'm not writing a Berserk FF, just asking if you people like it. I'm not much of a fan of it, but my brother wanted me to watch it for any glitches. Ugh, it's torture. Well, enjoy the story.

I also changed Halie's last name because the anagram was a little off. One of my reviewers kindly told me about it.

Quotes:

"We must not shed tears.
This is the defeat of the body by the heart.
Because, for us, this thing called "the heart" can become nothing less
than proof that one's existence is superfluous."

"Flames passing through un-reaching fangs.
Like that star, gently fading out of its own will.
At the very least, this call has yet to come to an end."

The Anti-Persona Ballad

I will create people the color of darkness
Beyond the winter ocean, I'll gather the colors of vengeance
You… You… celebrate the crimson feast
You can break the bonds of hatred… the powers of your grasp
Aah, bittersweet freedom underfoot
The time of darkness has come
From this town…
From this town called Darkside

There is the place where illusion resides and reality has made a pact with dreams, a place where dreams lie dreaming of reality. A place built from crystal brick and water, Crystal Street. There is no need for the connection when enmity does not give rise to hatred, or when sadness exists only for its own sake.

So long as the order that binds together this world together is just, then the world we have made will never fall to ruin. However, when that order demands mindless subservience… This world shall crumble and another rise to take its place.
Darkside.
Behold the birth of a woman the color of darkness
A woman fights her heart heavy with sorrow.

Man: the site got moved to a new, more reliable server! That means the comic won't go down anymore! Great news, huh?

Woman: so why is the comic only partially loaded?

Man: I don't know, but it certainly hides the fact that I'm touching myself

"Petal by petal.
Drop to my green ground
My Beth, like a lovely angel.
Wings to fly
Fly away from me"

Meeting a Stranger

By Charlie

Chapter Four: I Am Crazy

When the two boys walked in, they were cold, wet, and extremely pissed. Sasuke had a reason to be pissed. He almost drowned. Naruto, however, had no reason at all to be, even the slightest, angry, but he was. They came in and happily took the towels lain out for them, though neither one showed it. They went upstairs quietly and angrily.

Gaara ignored them. Denial was always bliss and a book helped you in the process. After a few hours, he finally laid down the book and went to start on dinner.

Naruto never could stand staying angry for long. He always got tired of it, forgot about it, or just entirely didn't care that he was supposed to be angry. Smelling the aroma of cooked chicken made his mouth water and he hurried downstairs.

He smile when he saw the table was set and each plate was filled with something to eat. He sat down and began stuffing himself. It was only after he finished that he realized Sasuke wasn't there. "Gaara, where's Sasuke?"

The red head pointed up to the ceiling.

Naruto shrugged and began clearing the table. Passing the couch, he saw a box of books on the coffee table. "Did you read any good books today?"

"No.'

Walking back, he saw a book laid open to the middle and frowned. "Then why is this book here?" He held it up and showed it to Gaara. It was a story called Jane Eyre.

"It had good pictures."

Naruto's eyebrows scrunched up. "Uh, Gaara?" The boy turned to him innocently. "Can you read?"

"No," came the somewhat happy answer.

He sweat-dropped. 'I should've known.' Sighing, he set the book down and went up to his own room. He looked through his closet thoroughly and found a children's book. Naruto brought it back down and gave it to Gaara. "Maybe you should start with this before reading something so difficult. I'll bring the food up to Sasuke."

Sasuke sat on the bed and looked at both his hands. They still had a burning feeling from when he touched the blonde. He groaned in frustration and pulled on his hair. 'I knew water was no good.' It always, always brought bad luck. He let his body fall back onto the mat. "Maybe I should lea-."

"Sasuke?"

He quickly sat up and realized that he was getting…excited. 'I shouldn't get all work up for that idiot! Just calm down and treat him like the moron that he is.' "What?" he said angrily. So far so good.

"I brought food, Lord 'with stick up his ass,'" Naruto said sarcastically. He didn't wait for a response before walking in. "I hope you're decent."

Sasuke scowled, but stayed where he was. "And if I wasn't?" Yeah, what would have happened if he was naked when Naruto came in? The question came from curiosity and somewhere he didn't want to talk about.

"Oh, then I'd have a front row view of the Sex God's body."

He was caught off-guard by the answer and blushed deeply. "Hn," was the only sound he could managed at the moment.

Naruto put down the tray and sat on the bed next to him. "I have nothing else to do and this is the place I want to be right now," he said when seeing the curious look. The blue eyes traveled around the room. "This used to be Halie's room. Wait, I think it was Gaara's room. Yeah, probably Gaara's room. Well, Halie had the room next to yours. She's kinda mean in a way, but is a really nice person under all the sadistic-ness. There's nothing she couldn't do. She's like…..a demonic angel." While busy talking, he hadn't notice the changes in Sasuke's face.

'Demonic angel?' Sasuke cocked an eyebrow. "So she's a bit-." A hand quickly covered his mouth.

"Never, ever call her that."

Sasuke peeled the hand off his mouth. "She's not even here."

"I know," Naruto said in a demented, but serious voice. "Isn't it just crazy? Ironic? That she isn't even here and she can still do things to yah'?" Then he held Sasuke's hand tightly and began rocking back and forth. "She's evil, man. Evil! I cannot believe I lived years with her and never realized! Oh my god, I'm possessed!"

That was the time Sasuke decided to start freaking out. "Gaara?" The red head will know what to do.

"She probably took my virginity! Oh, that witch!"

"Gaara!" his voice was loud and full of panic. The door opened and there was the knight in shining armor….wearing an apron with wet foamy gloves.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. We were just talking about someone name Halie and he went hysterical." Trying to keep his voice down-low was a very hard thing to do. Naruto clung to him and blabbered on about all these things that had absolutely no sense.

Gaara came near and kind of hugged Naruto while keeping his hands from grabbing either of them. "Calm down, master." Nothing. "Calm. Down." Still nothing. "CALM DOWN!" That triggered a reaction.

"WAAAAAAAAHHH!"

A bad reaction.

"Look, the…t-the…w-witch is not here," it was hard for Gaara to say it since that was Lady. Well, you know. Nothing was helping. "I'm gonna go drink caffeine if you don't stop this nonsense right now." As a hope of no punishment, "…master."

"Ok, I'm good." Naruto wiped away the tear glade on his eyelid. "Have a nice dinner, Sasuke. Good-night," he said and left the two to their own thoughts.

Gaara patted Sasuke pitifully on the back then left, but before he did, he said, "It takes getting use to."

"So you're use to it?"

Then Gaara laughed. A small laugh like you're just some innocent little kid who didn't know any better. "That's funny," then he left.

Naruto tiptoed toward the door and winced as one of the floorboards creaked. 'Damn that cursed thing. I swear I'm cutting down all your family if Gaara wakes up.' His hand reached the doorknob when…

"Where are you going?"

He looked down at the floor. 'Oh, you're going down.' "Restroom. Five minutes," he said and left. It had been two days. Two days and Gaara still hadn't gotten over his fear. That also meant he slept with Naruto ever since…then.

Naruto went downstairs and rummaged through the cabinet. Ever since then, HE HADN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET ONE WINK OF GODDAMN SLEEP!

"What are you doing?"

"Ah, busted." He turned around and saw Sasuke. "Not busted."

"I thought you were going to the restroom," Gaara suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

Naruto blinked. "Damn," he muttered under his breath. "I did, but I got thirsty and went to get a drink. Looking for Kool-aid. It helps me get over my dehydration quicker than plain water and….and doesn't make me go to the restroom during the night. It waits till morning to make me go to the restroom. It's like a free wake-up call." That was probably the worst lie he had ever told.

Gaara nodded and went back upstairs.

But it worked.

Sasuke waited until he heard the door close. "Free wake-up call?"

"Hey, you try coming up with a lie on the spot like that?" Naruto took out the sleeping pills and took one. "I haven't had any sleep in the last two days. You think I'm happy lying to him like that." He took two more pills and chewed them like candy. On second thought, he downed half the bottle then made his way toward the bedroom. Half way to the stairs, he stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Can you take me to my room? The pills are starting to kick in."

Sasuke quickly grabbed onto the blonde. "That was probably the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do."

"Don't worry." Naruto tilted to the side, but luckily Sasuke caught him. "There's more."

"Hn," he steadied Naruto and tried to drag him upstairs. "Ever thought about losing a few pounds."

There wasn't an answer, only a snore.

"Great."

It was 3 in the morning when Sasuke heard noises outside his door. He sighed and opened it. There was Naruto, standing with his eyes closed. Every night for the past two days, this happened.

He led the blonde back to his own bed and locked the door behind him before he left. He got back into bed and went back to sleep. 'Man, somebody needs to tie him up before bed.' His eyes open wide. 'Bad thought. Bad thought.'

And that also happened in the last two days.

Sasuke ran the water over his burned hand. The ointment Naruto gave him was healing it really fast. 'I really should talk to him about his problem. And why the hell does he always come to me?' He went downstairs to find the other two already eating breakfast. Naruto didn't even look up when he came down, which was very rude according to Sasuke.

While eating, he got angry. The silence got him thinking about what happened in the past few days. HE ACTED LIKE A DAMN SCHOOL GIRL! His fork clattered on the table as he rubbed his temple. The flashback of what happened on the couch bugged him. Never ever in his life had he ever said please! For anything! Ok, it was that one time with the ice cream, but that was it! And that thing that really killed it was that, the person who had made him say it DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW IT!

Naruto cocked an eyebrow toward the end of the table where Sasuke sat. He was sensing some negative energy. "Are you alright? You seem…unstable." Two demonic eyes looked up at him. "…but t-that must be the K-Kool-aid talking. Y-You know I'm g-gonna go…wash." He took the plate and left as fast as he could, well aware that the eyes followed him all the way to the sink.

The red head calmly ate his breakfast while observing the conversation. He didn't really understand what was going on except that one seemed to be really demented and the other... jumpy.

After breakfast and washing everything up, Naruto found that there was nothing to do. Sure there was that one thing where Gaara needed help in reading, but that only took about 20 minutes. Gaara was actually a really smart kid. Kind of freaky though.

So, he paced. He paced in his room then decided the hallway because it was wider and more open, but then the living room looked inviting so he paced down there. While busy pacing, he passed the phone a couple of times. Maybe 103, but who was counting. He looked around trying to see if Tenten was there, but then he realized that he was at least 200 miles away from her.

He grinned and picked up the phone eagerly. Quickly dialing a phone number, he waited. It was just a few seconds before someone picked up.

"Dr. Coron's office, how can I help you?" said a lady's voice.

Naruto tried not to sound too excited. "Yes, this is Dr. Coron. Are there any messages for me?"

"Oh, let me check." There was a bit of clicking on the other line. "Emily Heaven called. She wanted to book an appointment, but since you're on va-."

"I'll do it!" he shouted. "Uh, just give her my phone number a-and if she needs to, she can call me. Is that all?"

"Well, Inuzuka-sama called and needed some kind of help. I'm not really sure, but he sounded really hysterical."

"I see. Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

"Keep up the good work," he said, controlling his tone this time. After hanging up the phone, he waited for Emily to call. In the meantime, he continued pacing. But during his pacing, he thought about Sasuke.

'Maybe I'm coming on too strong. He's probably new at this whole gay thing. Ugh, that sounds really awkward. That's why he was so angry this morning. Something bad must've happened in some of his freakish relationships. There's no progress and this whole thing that just happened isn't really helping me! Maybe I should just back o-.'

WHAM! Gaara turned around and saw Naruto on the floor rubbing his head. In front was a wall. Putting two and two together, he figure Naruto ran into the wall. He turned back around and continued reading.

'Ok, that hurts. I haven't even gotten over A or figured out B and now there's a C,' he thought rubbing his forehead. 'Maybe just one more try.' He jumped as the phone rang and had it in his hand in a second. "Dr. Coron's lake house, how can I help you?"

Sasuke had picked up the phone the same time. He didn't want to eavesdrop, but the reply kind of got him.

"Playing doctor again, Naruto," said a voice which the blonde knew all too well.

'That sounds familiar. Where have I heard that before?'

"Oh my god, Tenten!" Naruto said shock.

Sasuke's jaw almost dropped. Almost. 'Oh my god! Neji's girlfriend! What the hell is she doing calling Naruto?' One word: affair, but Naruto didn't seem like that kind of person. Then again, looks can be deceiving.

"You called the office," she stated.

Naruto force a laugh. "Office? What office? I haven't called any office." He heard her sigh and some rustling of papers.

"You're supposed to be on vacation. What would Neji say if he found out?"

'They're having an affair! Behind Neji's back!' Sasuke mentally gasped. He had a flashback of when Naruto said that girl's name. 'What was it? Hinata! Neji's cousin! No wonder she sounded familiar!'

"Please don't tell Neji! He'll kill me! Please, please, please, pleeeeeeease!" Naruto wailed.

Tenten winced at the high pitch. "Ok, ok! I won't tell him. It'll be our little secret."

'She's flirting with him!' Sasuke was ready to kill somebody. 'Does Neji know? Of course, he doesn't know! That's why they call it an affair!' Arguing with himself wasn't helping the situation one bit. He needed to speak up, but if he did, they'd both know he was eavesdropping. That was beside the point. If he spoke, Tenten would know who he was then she'd tell Neji who'd tell his parents and then he'd be out of there faster then he could drown.

"Thank you so much!" However, Naruto was annoyed that she found out about his little phone call. How did she know everything? 'Hehe, but when she's gone I can-.'

"Don't call anyone."

'Damn.'

"You're suppose to be having a relaxing vacation and enjoying yourself, not working. Seriously ever since she left, you've been all cop-."

"Bye," he said and slammed the phone down. He rubbed his eyes and thought about what just happened. He really didn't want to talk about her. The sound of her name was just starting to piss him off. He didn't know since when, but it just did.

"Naruto?"

"Hmm?"

"You need me to kill someone," said the ever adorable red head.

Naruto chuckled and shook his head. "That's very…sweet, but no thanks."

"You just seem a little stressed."

"I'll be ok," he gave a reassuring smile that did the trick and went into the kitchen.

"Naruto?"

He sighed and turned around. "What, Gaara?"

Gaara turned a page and didn't even look up. "It wasn't me."

Charlie: So how was that? Bad, good, not my best work, but ok? Have any of you notice Narra's not here. Notice how quiet it is?

(crickets chirp in the background)

That's heaven...

(eerie silence comes up)

...or a graveyard

Movie Quote:

(from the Mask of Zorro)

Don Diego de la Vega: You have passion, Alejandro, and your skill is growing. But to enter Montero's world, I must give you something which is completely beyond your reach.

Alejandro: Ah, yes? What is that?

Don Diego de la Vega: Charm.

Alejandro: And what is that?

(Fighting with Zorro)

Captain Love: You're doing well. Your brother would have shot himself by now.

Alejandro: I miss my brother, sir.

Don Diego: Your brother is dead. We lose the ones we love; we cannot change it. Put it aside.

Alejandro: How? How can I do what is needed, when all I feel is... hate.

Don Diego: You hide it. (Holds up black mask)With this.

Captain Love: Are you all right?

Rafael: Do you have the map?

Captain Love: We'll find it.

Rafael: Is your army ready to fight Santa Anna's?

Captain Love: No, sir.

Rafael: Then why are you asking me if I'm all right? Of course I'm not all right.

Alejandro: Do you surrender?

Elena: Never, but I may scream.

Alejandro: I understand. Sometimes I have that effect.

Don Diego: (after beating Alejandro in a training session) Lesson number one: Never attack in anger.
(smells Alejandro, who is very dirty)
Don Diego: Lesson number two: Come with me.
(leaves)

Alejandro: (sniffing his underarm) What?

Alejandro: (later, washing himself) So what's lesson number three?

Don Diego: To get to lesson number four.

Alejandro: I've never lost a fight.

Don Diego: Except to a crippled old man just now.

(in a confessional, Alejandro posing as a priest)
Elena: Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been three days since my last confession.

Alejandro: Three days? How many sins could you have committed in three days? Come back when you have more time, please.

Elena: excuse me?

Alejandro: I mean, what have you do to sin?

Elena: I have broken the fourth commandment, padre.

Alejandro: You killed somebody?

Elena: No, that is not the fourth commandment.

Alejandro: (pause) Of course not. Tell me; in what way did you break the most sacred of commandments.

Elena: I dishonored my father.

Alejandro: That is not so bad. Maybe your father deserved it.

Elena: What did you say?

Alejandro: I said tell me more, my child.

Don Diego: There is a saying, a very old saying: when the pupil is ready the master will appear.

Captain Love: The lady and I were trying to dance.

Alejandro: You were trying. She was succeeding.

Rafael: Do you recognize him?

Elena: No, but he was young and vigorous. He was very vigorous, father.

Don Diego: (referring to Murrieta's sword) Do you know how to use that thing?

Alejandro: Yes. The pointy end goes into the other man.

Alejandro: Is something funny?

Captain Love: Strange, actually. This is the second time I've shot this man while he was flying through the air.

Alejandro: I would have killed him.

Don Diego: No, not today. He is trained to kill. You seem trained to drink. Oh, yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely, and died very quickly. Who then would avenge your brother?

Elena: Yes, were you looking for something?

Alejandro: A sense of the miraculous in everyday life.

Captain: After all, it's only one man...

Rafael: It isn't just one man, damn it. It's ZORRO.

Don Diego: Convince Montero that you're a gentleman of stature, and he will let you into his circle.

Alejandro: Me? A gentleman

(pause)

Alejandro: This is going to take a lot of work

Don Diego: This is called a training circle, a master's wheel. This circle will be your world, your whole life. Until I tell you otherwise, there is nothing outside of it.

Alejandro: Capitan Love is...

Don Diego: There is NOTHING outside of it. Captain Love does not exist until I say he exists. As your skill with the sword improves, you will progress to a smaller circle. With each new circle, your world contracts, bringing you that much closer to your adversary, that much closer to retribution.

Alejandro: I like that part.

Don Diego: You should not trade something like that for a mere glass of whiskey.

Alejandro: Why not? You think I could get two?

(telling a story to his baby daughter)

Don Diego: And suddenly lightning flashed and a mighty thunder shook the wasted land and the evil king glared at the good prince and said...
(sees Esperanza watching him)
Don Diego: ...something very forgettable.

(whispering to his baby son)
Alejandro: And so it was. Lighting split the sky, thunder shook the earth, and then all was quiet. The great warrior known as Zorro was gone. The people of the land gave him a hero's funeral, the largest anyone had ever seen. They came from far and wide to say farewell to their brave and noble champion. But don't worry, little Joaquin. Whenever great deeds are remembered, your grandfather will live on. For there must always, always be a Zorro. And some day, when he's needed, we will see him again... on his fearsome steed Tornado, riding like the wind, his sword blazing in the sun... leaping, jumping, swinging through the air... fighting like a lion. Fighting like a tiger. Fighting...
(sees Elena watching him)
Alejandro: ...as safely as possible.

Elena: Is this your idea of putting the baby to sleep?

Elena: When I sleep, I will dream of this dashing rogue Zorro. But what face shall I give him?

Alejandro: He has been many different men, but he has loved you as all of them

Elena: How can I refuse such a man? Do you know where I might find him?

Alejandro: You know Zorro. He could be anywhere.

Alejandro: Look at me, I look like a butterfly. This is the most stupid thing I've ever done.

Don Diego: I doubt that.