"Kankri… have you noticed something?"
"Hmm? What is it?"
"Where are the clowns?"
"Oh. I hadn't even noticed. Oh fuck."
"I second that."
…
It's bright on the outside.
You shut your eyes and shade them with your forearm. When it's not physically painful to open your eyes you look around and see a large empty space with a group of drones stood around, and you have a flashback.
A young troll stands in his lawnring. It just so happens that today is this young troll's introduction into the community. Today he shall build his very own Hive.
"Holy shit. Lalonde,I thought you said this place was more like Earth from what you'd seen on the internet?"
"It is like Earth. In fact I may go as far as to say it is in fact earth as we knew it before, if not for some slight changes."
Kankri decides to open his mouth again. You really wish he'd just sit the fuck out of this. "If I may, I would like to be the one to explain what is happening." He looks at you, you're not sure why he's even doing that. Apparently everyone's elected you as the complete leader or something. Just great. Kankri can be the asshole leader of your combined teams for all you care. But then if you have to listen to him explain everything you think you'll go crazy.
You just make a short gesture that was supposed to signal him to carry on, it didn't even look like that to you. He understands anyway, you hate that. "Alright. On Beforus or, more commonly, on Alternia, young trolls are given the opportunity to design their own dwellings. They just have to give instructions to the drones on what to build where. It is recommended that you give them an easily tweaked guideline though. In case you forgot a room, that way they can add it in wherever they see fit."
He sweeps his arm in a gesture toward all the space around the lot of you. "This is what is commonly referred to as a Lawnring. If my interpretations are correct, these drones wish to help us build hives on this planet. It seems like there is plenty of room in this ring to fit all of us." You are loathe to admit that he probably explained that better than you could have. Well at least without getting impatient and aggravated.
Dave whistles. "So… These bugs are going to build us houses? Do we have to share or do we get places all to ourselves?"
"I'm not entirely sure, but from what I gather, and personal experience, we would each get our own. I suppose you would have to ask if you wanted to share. As I'm sure some people would wish to do."
You roll your eyes and shove Kankri in the back. He jumps, but you just keep pushing him towards the drones. "Here. Ask them." You're half joking.
The other half of you knows he'll be able to communicate with them just to spite you.
And as if reading your mind he talks to them, and they make some noises and gestures that don't make any sense to you. So he keeps talking. And talking.
"Yes. We each build for ourselves alone. Although if you wish to build together you may. Perhaps even set up some system where your hives, or houses in this case, would be connected but still able to be separated if you wanted some time on your own." He puts a hand to his chin in thought. "In fact, I would personally recommend building your own dwelling. This way if there are ever any awkward situations or breakdowns of friendship then there needn't be any, messy situations."
You stare at him for a few moments. "How the fuck do you do that? I don't understand a fucking thing they're going on about."
He just pats you on the shoulder and returns back to where he was stood initially. You guess everything's back on you again.
From 'personal experience' there should be enough drones to build, maybe, 6 hives at once. You point out all 8 humans and tell them to come over so you can tell them what the drones will need to know. Then you wonder something.
"How many of you Beforans were… What was it, culled? Or do you guys know how this works. Or whatever, you can just get Kankri to fucking explain to you guys. You're not my team."
…
It takes nearly the entire day. Dave had offered to build last to keep you company, but you were still a bit off with him so you made him go first with Dirk, Rose, Jade and John. Jake, Jane and Roxy are in the second group. Sollux had said he would build last too, but you made him go in the first group, he seems off and a little uncomfortable. He doesn't even seem that into the technical parts of building so you go and help him out by suggesting things. The drones won't listen to you though, so you have to get him to tell them.
Houses are more boring looking than hives; you've seen some on the monitors. These things are like hive/house hybrids. You'll admit most of them do look pretty cool.
When everyone's finally done aside from the last group it's your turn. You look around, there's still plenty of space to build. Kankri's already off telling the drones what to put where, he's probably been figuring it out this whole time, even while helping out with people who weren't sure what to build. You haven't been thinking about it at all.
He catches you looking around. "Karkat." He waves you over and you decide to humour him. Anything to have some more time to figure out how to build your 'house'. Maybe just like your old hive. "As we are now the equivalent of human 'brothers', would you like to build your dwelling near mine? Generally, from what I know of humans, siblings usually live together, although I do not really wish to abode with somebody else. And I'm sure you don't either.
You check out where he's building. It's close to Cronus and Mituna, but far enough away to be on it's own. Mituna built kind of close to Sollux, so that means if you built on the other side, you would be close to Sollux. Although Cronus built near Dave, so you would be slightly near him. You guess you shouldn't really be like this. It probably was just a misunderstanding, you're being an idiot.
"Karkat?"
"Oh yeah, sorry, sure. Why are you building right out on the edge?"
He kind of folds in on himself slightly and smiles. "I just wanted to be able to be alone. Without the feeling of suffocation being in the centre would have. I thought you were going to build centrally with the humans if I'm honest. Erm, well not 'humans' I suppose."
"I know what you meant, it's alright. And are you fucking kidding? I can't stand those bastards."
"Yes. You seem to be very hostile towards a lot of people lately. Are you quite alright? I'm happy to talk to you about it if you'd like."
"Well you know what? I might actually take you up on that sometime."
"On that subject. May I ask how things are going with Sollux?"
"Ugh. Don't even- No. Let's not go there."
"I'm sorry. I'm sure he's just rather confused about everything that's going on. A few people aren't taking it very well."
"Are you?"
"As well as I can I suppose. It's not a huge drawback to me. How about yourself?"
"I don't know really… I guess? I mean it hasn't even been a day yet so I won't know for a while really will I? and by then I might be so used to being human that I wouldn't want to change back even if I could"
"That's a good way to look at it."
…
"Yo Vantas, open up."
You swing your door open. Not on purpose, it's a lot lighter than the doors on the meteor is all. "Dave? What do you want?"
"Well I'm sort of here to apologize."
"Sort of? Either you're apologizing or you aren't."
"Well no, I'm not a hundred percent sure why you flipped out, so if you tell me why, then I know what I did. Then if it was something I did, I can apologize."
You huff and point him inside. He comes in and admires your house. You've been in here for a couple of days now, nobody's visited you aside from Sollux, Kankri and Cronus one time. You all found out after getting your houses built that all of your boondollars were in your sylladexes and had been converted into whatever currency this planet, or at least this part of it, uses. And to put it bluntly, pretty much all of you were loaded. So you had been online and ordered furniture.
"Nice place you got here. I might have to hire you as my decorator, my place is a shit heap."
"I imagine."
"Okay, so let's cut the shit. Did I hurt your feelings when I was talking to your boyfriend, or, what? Because if that's it, you've got to get over it and not be so jealous-"
"Excuse me? What the fuck are you talking about."
"You and Captor. Obviously something's going on if you're all protective of him and shit. I just wanted to say I'm not trying to encroach on your territory dude. I mean he's cute but he's-"
"Stop."
"Will you stop interrupting me?"
"Never." You take a few deep breaths and try not to yell at him. "Me and Sollux are not 'boyfriends' as so you eloquently put it. We're just friends. Good friends. And he's going through some shit and I would appreciate if you weren't such a dick about it."
"Whoa, I wasn't being a dick. I was trying to cheer him up and you fucking hit me."
"I didn't hit you. I thought you were being an asshole to him so I 'shoved' you, to save him from you."
"Save him? Dude I wasn't going to molest him or something."
"You so were! You were all over him."
"Oh okay, so you're not being jealous at all."
"Oh my fucking god Strider, you are so insufferable! I'm not fucking jealous. It wasn't even a thing."
"What are you even going on about anymore?"
"You and Sollux! You are not a fucking thing. You haven't even spoken to him since we left that fucking… whatever the hell that place was. And before that you never spoke to him!"
"Dude, calm your tits. Jegus fuck. Speaking of Jegus, how is Kankri?"
"Oh my fucking god, I should've known you only came over here to piss me off."
"Nah I'm being serious, I was wondering if he told you what happened between us."
You open your mouth to say something, but you find you can't. You finally manage, "what?"
"Well I guess it's a secret, huh."
"No Dave, you tell me what the fuck you're talking about right now."
"Well let's just say we had us some sexual education up in this bitch."
You try to say what again, but you can't even manage that. Your brain just got fried.
"It was pretty good too."
"No, no no no! Shut up. That did not happen."
"Oh yes it did. You can't escape the truth, Karkat."
"Just get the fuck out of my house."
"Okay whatever. I'm sorry for whatever I did to piss you off with Sollux though, okay? I miss hanging out with you. Shit's boring around here and John's always busy."
"Yeah, sure." You add on in a quieter voice, "I guess I miss hanging out with you too."
"Alright, we should get a game night going soon or something. Invite Captor too."
You just roll your eyes and slam the door on him.
…
"Hey John, you okay?"
He sniffles and turns further away from you.
"John come on, I thought you liked this movie. This isn't even a sad part."
"It's fine Karkat. It's nothing."
"It is so obviously 'nothing' that I am embarrassed I mistook it for you crying like a wriggler over 'nothing'."
He cringes and huddles in on himself more.
"Oh come on, it was a joke! Fucks sake John, if you just told me what was up then I'm sure you'd feel a little better. I'm only here to watch this shitty movie with you. And you're not even watching it, so you might as well use up my time in some other way. It's not like I've got anything better to do."
"You're shitty at reassuring people. You know that?"
"Fuck you, I'm amazing at reassuring people who tell me what the fuck is wrong with them."
"Fine! I'm just- I miss my dad. I miss my old house. I thought maybe- maybe the game would give me back my dad. I know it's stupid. Okay? And I wouldn't want to lose you guys. And if I had to choose I don't know what I would do! But I just… I really miss him."
You don't say anything for a long time. You miss your Lusus too, and you think it's mostly the same, but it's not. You know that. So you don't say 'I understand' or 'it'll be okay'. Because it won't be. His dad is dead. He isn't coming back. And thinking that there's even a slight chance after you finish the game that you might see him, and then not? That must be heart breaking.
"It's not stupid John."
You put your arm around his shoulders and he doesn't even hold back, just launches himself into your chest, wrapping his arms around your middle and sobbing into your shirt. You pet his hair and shoosh him.
It doesn't even feel like cheating on Sollux.
…
"No. Fuck you KK."
"But Sollux I just want to-"
"NO! We're not fucking trolls anymore. Moirallegiance isn't a thing now. Will you just stop bringing all that shit back up?"
"I can't just forget seven sweeps of my life happened Sollux. And neither can you!"
"Yes I fucking can! Watch me. I'm leaving. And I am not coming back. I'll go somewhere else, somewhere no one knows who I am. And I'll pretend this is who I've always been!"
"Sollux. Will you fucking just- listen to yourself?! You sound fucking ridiculous! What are you going through that no one else is? Just fucking talk to me."
"I don't even know!" he's started tearing up, swiping his eyes to will them from spilling over. "I just… I'm not me. I don't feel like me at all! I spent as long as I can remember with psionics, and the last sweep of my half-life I was blind. And I was with AA, and she won't even fucking acknowledge my existence right now because she's too busy off enjoying her life and I'm just sat here wishing I didn't even come out of the game."
"Sollux-"
"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"
"Shit, I'm sorry, okay! I just want to fucking help you. Please let me help you. I'll stop. I'll never mention anything troll related again- after this. I'll even open up a memo on that new messenger you programmed and make sure no one mentions anything about it unless they're sure the other person's okay with it… shit listen to me, I'm turning into fucking Kankri. Tagging triggers and shit."
He gives you the smallest smile you've ever seen on him. He's usually either pissed off or grinning like a maniac, so it just looks wrong.
"Can I hug you now?"
He nods. You have a weird flashback – or flashforward? – of him punching you and storming out.
After a few moments he backs away from you, which is a shame, because hugging was nice, even if it did feel a little awkward. He's right, humans don't do Moiraillegance, the closest you can get is being bros. And bros don't cuddle.
"KK, how do you feel about all this?"
"Not too bad to be honest. I've thought about it a few times, obviously. It's just there nothing relly wrong with it I suppose. I don't lose out on much. I mean there's lots of really fucking annoying little things. But that's it."
"Little things?"
"Yeah like having to stand to piss, or when I get up in the morning to go to the bathroom I have to get up again after like, five minutes, because my body wasn't awake enough the first time. Or the eating. Where before I could just eat whenever I felt like it, now I have to have a fucking schedule! I mean who the fuck decided that was a thing?!"
"Wow KK. You would find the really retarded details the worst thing." he rests his head on your shoulder. "Thanks."
You think about asking him what for. But you think that's a nice way to finish the conversation.
…
KARKAT [KK] opened memo on board IRONICALLY HUMAN.
KK: BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING, I KNOW HOW THIS SOUNDS…
KK: BUT IF WE COULD ALL DO EVERYONE A HUGE FAVOUR AND NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT HOW WE USED TO BE TROLLS, OR HOW WEIRD IT IS BEING A HUMAN, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
KK: OF COURSE YOU CAN STILL TALK ABOUT IT, BUT JUST… CHECK THAT THE OTHER PERSON DOESN'T MIND.
KK: AND IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU, DON'T BE WORRIED ABOUT TELLING THEM THAT YOU DO MIND.
KANKRI [KV] responded to memo.
KV: I must agree that this is a very good idea. I've come across a lot of flippant disregard on people's feeling on this matter. Some of us aren't taking to being a human very well and it would be very unfortunate if someone were to be upset by something somebody said.
DAVE [DV] responded to memo.
DV: i dont want to piss on your parade but isnt ignoring that shit kind of
DV: i dont know
DV: forgetting your entire lives
KV: It's not that they wish to forget. They just wish to move on. There is no use in dwelling on things we once had and will not have again. We should look forward to what we have now. And appreciate being alive in the first place.
DOUCHEBAG [ED] responded to memo.
ED: really sol
ED: how mature
ED: anyway id like to just join in and say I personally would like it if people would stop with the troll talk
ED: bein a humans not so bad
KV: I'm glad that you agree Eridan.
KK: BUT SEE THIS IS WHAT SHOULDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN. PEOPLE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO COME OUT AND SAY THAT THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. PEOPLE SHOULD JUST EXPECT THEY DON'T WANT TO.
KV: Indeed. I hope everyone reads this and takes this to heart.