"All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
But the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try."
xxx
Beth was sitting on the dock, basking in the warm sunlight, the water in front of her sparkling turquoise. Her long hair was tied up in a loose, messy bun and she was clad in a light pink bathing suit. They had spent the majority of the day out on the beach, alternately tanning, swimming, and taking the jet skis out. There had been an unfortunate incident with Janice and Tracy in a canoe that wouldn't balance properly, and had ended with only a few bumps and bruises and lots of laughter.
Currently, Beth was relaxing with Tracy on the wooden dock, swinging their legs back and forth, while they watched Janice and Amanda race each other on the jet skis. They were getting more competitive and daring, and Beth was wondering if there was going to be a trip to the emergency room before the day was done.
"Those two are nuts," Tracy snorted, after Amanda had done a particularly elaborate trip and just managed to stay upright.
"They sure are," Beth chuckled in agreement. She seemed to have eyes only for Janice, barely looking at Amanda at all. She was glad she had her oversize sunglasses on, so it wouldn't be too obvious that she couldn't keep her eyes off her strawberry blonde co-worker. Janice was a daredevil, never backing down from a challenge, and Beth was worried that she was going to hurt herself. Plus, she looked amazing her bright blue and green bikini, her pale skin gleaming in the sun.
"So what's going on with you and Janice?" Tracy asked abruptly.
"What?" Beth was shocked for a second, before she recovered her usual calm demeanor. "What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb with me," Tracy said, her tone light. "Something's been going on for awhile now, and it's been very apparent since we left L.A. yesterday. You think you're being discreet, but you're not, you know. I see the way you look at her; the way you act when's she around."
Beth was quiet for a moment. "Nothing's going on," she finally said. "She's just been helping me out."
"Well, good," Tracy said, all teasing gone from her voice. "I'm glad you're finally letting someone in. Because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one you talk to about anything of any significance, and you barely tell me anything."
Beth turned to look at her. Tracy wore sunglasses as well, but she could tell their gazes were boring into each other. "I'm sorry, Tracy," she said softly. "I know I've been difficult for a long time now."
"You haven't been difficult," Tracy replied, placing a hand on her arm. "We're all just really worried about you. It's obvious that you're still affected by what happened. I am too. I'm affected every single day. Beth, if anyone knows what you're going through, it's me."
Beth opened her mouth to protest but then wisely shut it again. Tracy was her best friend and she knew she was only trying to help and connect with her. But Tracy had no idea what she had been through. No one did.
"Thank you," she said instead. "I know you're looking out for me and you've been worried. I'm sorry I haven't been able to talk about it."
"Don't apologize," Tracy said firmly. "Beth, I have PTSD, and it takes one to know one. Remember, we lived together for a month after what happened. You don't hide things as well as you think you do. You need to get some help before it eats you alive. I don't know where I'd be right now without Dr. Anderson and my support group. They have literally saved my life."
Beth felt the familiar wave of sadness and guilt wash over her when she thought of what her best friend had been through because of her. Tracy was so strong and she was so proud of her. She had been proactive almost right from the get-go, in getting herself the help she needed. Tracy had said she didn't want to go through what she had been through a few years before, when the stalking incidents with her ex-fiance had brought her to the TAU and into Beth's life. She knew how she didn't want to handle things this time around.
Beth admired her friend's actions because she felt she should be acting the same way. She had been through hell before, because of Ray, and now the second time around, she was acting the exact same way. She just couldn't seem to do what Tracy had done. But no one knew what had actually gone on in that cabin, and afterwards, weeks after Ray was dead and gone. She didn't even know how to bring it up or begin talking about it. The closest she had come to spilling her guys had been with Janice, the person she trusted most in the world, but something had stopped her. She just didn't know how to move on from what had happened. She could try to act as normal as she could, but apparently she wasn't fooling as many people as she thought.
"Please talk to Janice," Tracy said quietly. "It's obvious that you guys have some kind of connection. I don't know if it's just friendship or something else, but something is there. Something different that what you have with me or Amanda, or Jack or Ben."
"What if it was something else?" Beth hedged nervously.
Tracy smiled at her and shrugged. "What if it was? No one would be happier for you than me, Beth. You deserve all the happiness in the world."
Beth smiled back and was glad she was wearing her sunglasses, as tears welled up in her eyes. She leaned over to hug her best friend, and Tracy gripped her back tightly.
"See, you're already making progress," she whispered in Beth's ear. "You were barely touching anyone at all before we went on this vacation."
Beth chuckled and quickly wiped her eyes. "Yeah, maybe you're right."
"I'm not giving up on you," Tracy said fiercely, holding onto her for a moment longer. "And neither is Janice or Amanda or anyone else."
Beth impulsively leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Tracy. I'm so lucky to have all of you in my life."
"Hey, what's going on over here?" Janice asked, as she and Amanda came splashing back to shore, after securing the jet skis. "You guys look emotional. Everything okay?"
"Yeah, we're good," Beth assured her. "Just having a little chat."
Janice smiled at her, holding her gaze for a moment. "Good, I'm glad."
"So are you guys done trying to kill each other?" Tracy joked. "We were just waiting for some catastrophic accident to happen. And that totally would have ruined our vacation."
Amanda laughed and slung her arm around Janice's shoulders. "I've finally met someone who can keep up with me out on the water. It's great."
"Yeah, it was awesome," Janice agreed enthusiastically. "This place is the best. If you're not careful, Amanda, you won't be able to get rid of us at the end of the week."
"Hey, I might be staying here with you," she replied with a grin. It's so relaxing to be away from the office and the courtroom. I think I would miss my boys too much, though."
Everyone said "Awww" in unison, and then Janice suddenly began splashing them all. Tracy and Beth both shrieked, since they were now perfectly dry, and Amanda laughed and began helping Janice drench the two of them as quickly as possible. It evolved into a water fight that lasted almost an hour, and when they finally dragged themselves back onto the dock, they were exhausted.
"Okay, I'm heading back to the cottage," Amanda said breathlessly, sprawled half on the dock and half in the sand. "I'm gonna have a shower and then start getting dinner prepared."
"I'll join you," Tracy said, getting to her feet with a groan. She gave Janice a mock glare. "You are evil, woman."
Janice gave a wicked laugh and grinned at her, baring her teeth.
Tracy playfully stuck her tongue out at her and then headed up to the lawn with Amanda.
"Holy crap, I'm tired," Janice huffed, sitting down next to Beth. "And I think I'm burnt. This pale skin doesn't too well in all this sun."
"Yeah, you do look a little red," Beth said, lightly touching her shoulder. "There's a hammock over there, under those huge trees. Let's go take a rest."
Janice looked at her for a moment. "Sure, sounds good."
They wrapped themselves in their towels and headed over to a pretty grove of willow trees with a giant hammock hanging between two of them. Instead of laying down in it, they sat down side by side, so the hammock rocked back and forth gently and their legs were swinging.
"So is everything okay with you and Tracy?" Janice asked softly.
"Yeah, it's fine," Beth said. "She's just worried about me. Apparently I don't hide my feelings as well as I thought I did."
Janice smiled at her gently and bumped her arm. "I think you do, but just not around the people who love you and know you well."
Beth's heart gave a sudden leap and she worked to keep her expression neutral. She didn't trust herself to speak so she just stayed quiet. They stayed quiet for several minutes, but it was surprisingly comfortable and not awkward. They just swung gently in the hammock, letting the breeze dry their hair, and listened to the birds singing and the distant shouts of people out on the water.
"I wonder if we should go help the girls get dinner ready," Beth finally said.
"Nah, let's just stay here," Janice replied with a yawn. "We'll do the clean up."
"Sounds good." Beth closed her eyes and shifted a little closer to the other woman. "I'm chilly now."
"Me too," Janice said with a shiver. She leaned her head onto Beth's shoulder and closed her eyes.
"Janice?"
"Hmm?"
"Everyone is always worried about how I'm doing, but what about you? I know we haven't talked much for a long time. But are you okay? I know that whole situation was hard for you too." Janice, along with Jack, had searched relentlessly for Beth after she had been abducted, and had sustained a mild concussion after Ray had captured her at gunpoint and then knocked her out.
"Thanks for asking, Beth," Janice said softly, squeezing her hand. "I don't know how to answer that, really. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes I'm not. Things haven't been right between us for a long time now, and that really bothers me. I worry so much about you. I miss how close we used to be." She paused. "I think Ray haunts us all, but in different ways."
"I'm sorry, Janice," Beth whispered. "I'm sorry for everything that has happened. You risked your life for me, and I know I've been so cold and distant. That night in the cabin, when Ray had the gun on you...it was one of the worst moments of my life. I thought he was going to kill you."
"I thought he was going to kill me too," Janice said, her voice choked. "But that was nothing compared to when you were just...gone. When you were taken, that was the worst moment of my life. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again. God, I was so scared." Tears spilled over onto her cheeks and she let out a sob. "We failed you, Beth. I don't know why you keep apologizing when we're the ones who should be sorry. We were supposed to protect you."
"Oh, honey." Beth turned in the hammock to take Janice into her arms. "It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped him. No one could have. He had been planning it for a long time and he wasn't ever going to stop until he had me." She kissed the taller woman's cheek, tasting salty tears.
"I'll never forgive myself," Janice whimpered, clutching onto Beth tightly.
"There's nothing to forgive," Beth said firmly, stroking back her damp hair. "You and Jack found me. You almost died in that fire for me. Ray had a gun on you and then knocked you unconscious. You saved my life because you wouldn't give up. I'm here because of you."
"But sometimes...sometimes I get the feeling you don't want to be here," Janice said softly, pulling back to look Beth in the eye.
Beth inhaled sharply and looked away. Was she really that transparent? She knew Janice wasn't talking about being here at the cottage, and Janice knew she knew.
"Beth." Janice's voice was trembling. "I know you're hurting. I don't know everything that happened after Ray took you, but I know you're not the same person you were before. Please, I'm begging you, if you need any kind of help or you just want to talk, I'm here. Always."
Beth nodded, not sure she was capable of answering without bursting into tears. God, she loved this woman. She felt overwhelmed, the need and love she had for her was so strong. She wanted so badly to just tell her everything, to finally release the burden she had been carrying all alone for the past several months, but still something held her back.
Instead of answering, she just pulled Janice against her once again, wrapping her tightly in her embrace, letting the hammock rock them back and forth. Janice held onto her just as tightly, still crying softly. Beth gently wiped away her tears, resting her lips against the top of her head.
"Um, guys?"
Beth and Janice both jerked their heads up, startled. They hadn't even heard Amanda approach, they were so wrapped up in each other. The lawyer stood there, her long blonde hair blowing in the breeze, looking at them with unconcealed worry. She had changed from her bathing suit into jean capris and a patterned T-shirt, and she rubbed at the goosebumps on her arms.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready." She paused. "What's going on? I was going to ask if you were okay, but it's obvious that you're not."
"We were just talking about some stuff," Janice said, wiping her eyes. "We'll be okay."
"You guys can talk to me if you need to," Amanda said gently. "I know things haven't been easy. But I'm here for you if you need me."
"Thank you, Amanda," Beth said, smiling at her. "You've already done enough for inviting us to this wonderful place. We're having a great time."
There was silence for a moment and then the three of them suddenly broke into laughter. It was just such a bizarre statement to make while she was holding Janice in her arms, both of them awash in tears.
"Really?" Amanda chuckled. "Because it doesn't seem like it."
"We are," Janice assured her. "Maybe not at this particular moment..." She trailed off and they laughed again. It felt so good to release all of the tension and pressure.
"Come on, let's go eat," Amanda said gently, holding out her hand to help Janice and then Beth out of the hammock. She wrapped an arm around each of them as they headed back to the cottage for dinner.
They had dinner on the deck again, barbecued chicken, rice, and veggies, with glasses of wine. The mood at the table was a lot more subdued and reflective than the celebratory mood from the night before.
"Okay, guys, I have an idea," Amanda announced, after there had been complete silence for several minutes. "I know things have been a bit tense and stressful and the point of this vacation is complete relaxation, so that's what we're going to do."
The others looked at her with interest.
"What did you have in mind?" Janice asked.
"We're taking the pickup truck out to a vacant farmer's field tonight," Amanda said with a smile. "We're going to fill it with pillows and blankets and go stargazing."
"Can't we just get drunk in the hot tub again?" Tracy asked, and they all laughed. "I'm just kidding. That sounds great, Amanda."
Janice and Beth chimed in their agreement, and they made plans to go out as soon as the sun set.
By the time they headed out in the truck, Beth was pleasantly buzzed on wine and feeling better about things in general. Her moods were so up and down, she could barely keep track of them, but for now she was just happy to be feeling comfortable and at peace. She was glad her comfort level was good right now, considering the way they were all squished into the cab of the truck, Amanda driving, and Beth squeezed between Janice and Tracy. She was practically on Janice's lap, the space was so tight. She had touched and been touched more over the last couple of days than she had over the last few months. She supposed that was good, because as Tracy had said earlier, it was progress. It was nice to be able to have physical contact with her friends without her skin crawling.
Once they were off the main road, the ride on the farmer's field was bumpy and they were all bouncing around in the cab of the truck.
"Whoa, Beth, hold on," Janice laughed, as Beth started sliding off the seat and onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around her waist, hauling her back up onto her lap, and Tracy grabbed her arm to help keep her upright.
"Hold on tight, guys," Amanda said with a chuckle.
They came to a stop in the middle of the field and piled out of the truck. Beth looked up at the sky in wonder. It was a breathtakingly beautiful night, the sky dark and clear, the stars shining brightly.
"Wow," Tracy breathed, as they all stood there, looking up.
"Amazing, isn't it?" Amanda said softly. "My family and I have been doing this for years. We always pick at least one night to go stargazing while we're here. There's nothing like it. You definitely can't do this in L.A."
"Well, technically you can," Janice corrected. "But you'll be smog gazing instead of stargazing."
Everyone chuckled and then started climbing into the back of the truck, which they had stuffed full of pillows and blankets, before leaving the cottage. There were also a couple of flashlights, some bottles of water, and a bag of chips.
"This is awesome," Tracy said enthusiastically, diving into the nest they had created.
They all got situated, falling over each other and giggling like teenagers. Beth ended up in the middle of the pile, nestled between Janice and Amanda. It was very snug in the back, just as it had been in the front, but Beth found herself glad that she was snuggled between her friends. The weather had cooled down significantly since they had been swimming earlier, and she had neglected to dress in warmer clothes, clad only in shorts, a tank top, and flip flops.
They were quiet for a few minutes, and then Amanda started naming all the stars and telling the stories behind them. Beth listened to the older woman talk, surprised at her depth of knowledge on the subject, and found herself enjoying what she was learning. She closed her eyes, letting Amanda's words wash over her and feeling the cool breeze caress her face, lifting strands of her hair gently into the air.
Shut up and lay down, Michelle.
No, stop. Please don't do this, Ray.
I want things to be the way they used to be. I know you can learn to love me again.
Not like this. Please. Not like this.
Just give it a chance. Relax, Michelle.
No, stop!
Beth's eyes flew open, and she realized she had drifted off. Amanda was still talking, so she figured she had only been out for a few minutes. Tracy asked a question and Amanda turned onto her side to answer her, and Beth was relieved that they hadn't noticed what had happened. She glanced over at Janice and noticed the other woman staring at her.
"You okay?" Janice mouthed.
Beth nodded mutely, although she had broken out into a cold sweat. She could tell that Janice didn't believe her, although the other woman wisely chose to remain silent while in the company of their friends. She appreciated her discretion.
She felt Janice snuggle closer to her under all the blankets, her hand wrapping around one of Beth's closed fists. Janice alternately squeezed and stroked her hand until she finally started to relax. She began running her fingertips lightly up and down Beth's bare arm, making little designs on her skin. Beth felt pleasant tingling sensations all through her body, and the nightmare slowly began to fade from her thoughts.
In fact, in the space of only a few minutes, she seemed to be going from startled and scared to incredibly turned on. Her heart rate was speeding up for a different reason now, and she had to work to keep it under control. Her drop-of-the-hat mood swings were going to be the death of her. It was driving her crazy to go from one extreme emotion to the next, in a matter of minutes.
Amanda had stopped talking about the stars and Tracy was now telling a ridiculous ghost story that had apparently happened to her and her family while she was living in England. The others were guffawing over the most unbelievable parts, with Tracy insisting over and over that it had actually happened. Beth was concentrating more than was necessary on the story, trying to immerse herself in it, so she could keep her mind off what Janice was doing to her. She knew she could pull away or just whisper to the other woman to stop, but it just felt so good. It had been so long since she had been aroused by anyone.
Janice, for her part, seemed completely unaware of the effect her actions were having on Beth, or if she noticed, she was doing a great job of hiding it. She seemed fully engaged in Tracy's story, adding sarcastic comments and chuckles where she felt they were needed. She continued to run her fingers up and down Beth's arm, sometimes going up over her shoulders to her neck, and then running them back down to her hand. Beth's hand was glued to her own thigh to keep it from trembling, and occasionally Janice's fingers grazed her bare leg.
She stifled a moan when she felt the taller woman's hand come into contact with her thigh again, and she felt Janice's hand still. She held her breath, keeping her face turned away from her and focusing her gaze on Tracy, whose story was getting more and more dramatic. Janice started moving her fingers again, keeping her touch down around Beth's hand, and when she grazed her thigh again, Beth knew she was doing it on purpose.
She felt heat pool between her legs and a blush creep up her neck and into her face. She was glad it was pitch dark out, so her friends couldn't see how red she had become. The others were completely oblivious to what was going on underneath the covers beside them, Amanda smacking Tracy lightly in the face with a pillow and Tracy retaliating in mock outrage. The two of them seemed to have their own little party going on above the blankets, while Beth and Janice had theirs beneath.
Janice paused at Beth's hand for a moment, gave it a light squeeze, and then slid it down so it was resting on her thigh. Beth gave a sharp intake of breath, and she could hear Janice's breathing pick up as well. Amanda and Tracy were squealing and carrying on with their pillow fight and Beth was glad they were being so loud. It was so inappropriate to be doing this with Janice while in the company of their friends, like they were a couple of teenagers, but she found it hard to care. It just felt so good.
Janice kept her hand still for a moment, as if testing to see if Beth was okay with it. She knew the other woman was being very careful with her and she appreciated it. She hadn't had any kind of sexual contact for a long time, and the last time...
Beth shook away the dark thoughts of the past and concentrated on the pleasure she was feeling now. Janice began moving her hand again, tracing slow circles from the middle of Beth's thigh, down to her knee, and back again. Beth's legs fell open, seemingly of their own volition, and Janice's fingers crept a little higher, grazing the hemline of her shorts, and hovering there before moving back down again.
Beth coughed to cover up another moan, and she grabbed Janice's arm, pulling it up to her midsection and linking their fingers together. She was getting entirely too turned on, and if things didn't slow down soon, Amanda and Tracy would become wise to what was going on right beside them. She glanced over at the other woman to see her grinning, her white teeth gleaming in the dark. Beth's lips quirked into a smile, and she turned her head away, only to get smacked square in the face with a pillow.
"Hey!" she sputtered, and she could hear Janice stifling a laugh.
"Oops, sorry!" Tracy apologized. "That was meant for Amanda."
"Well, you have terrible aim," Beth grumbled. "She's sitting right beside you!"
"Sorry about that," Tracy said again, and got pelted with three pillows from Amanda. "Oh, it's on!"
Amanda laughed and then grabbed one of the flashlights, hopping out of the back of the truck, with Tracy in hot pursuit. They chased each other around the vehicle, giggling and throwing more pillows, the flashlight bobbing wildly in the dark.
"Funny how Amanda turns into such a kid when you get her away from the courtroom," Janice remarked with a grin. "It's nice to see everyone letting loose and having fun for once."
"Yeah, it is," Beth agreed, wriggling around under the blankets.
"You okay there?" Janice asked innocently. "You seem a little wound up."
Beth snorted under her breath. "I'm fine, thanks."
"Hmm, I don't believe you,"Janice whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to Beth's neck. Her hand was making slow circles on Beth's tank top clad stomach, and she dipped a finger underneath the material, running it along smooth skin.
Beth's back arched and she gripped Janice's arm. A small whimper escaped her mouth, and she froze, listening for the others.
"Don't worry, they can't hear you," Janice said softly. "They're out in the field over there, talking. I think Tracy's telling another ghost story."
Beth sputtered out a laugh that turned into a moan as Janice slid her entire hand under her shirt, massaging along her ribs. "Oh, god."
"Beth." Janice sounded a little breathless. "You're driving me crazy. Every time I see you, I-" She cut herself off and tentatively slid her hand a little higher. "Is this okay? I can stop, if you want. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Please don't stop," Beth begged, her whispered voice ragged. "I can barely hear them now. I think they went for a walk or something."
Janice's hand covered one of her breasts over the top of her bra, rubbing lightly. Beth arched into her touch, feeling like she was going to explode. It had been so long since she had been touched in this way, since she had wanted to be touched in this way.
Her mind flashed back to the night of the blackout, in her old house, when she and Janice had been in the bathtub together. Things had been progressing between them while Janice had stayed with her, starting out with just seeking comfort at night, to cuddling during the day, and then culminating in their little bath time adventure that had been cut short when the lights had suddenly come back on and Beth had gotten a little freaked out. She had never been with a woman in that way before and had felt overwhelmed by her feelings for her co-worker and just overwhelmed in general with the whole Ray and Perry situation. She had been taken by Ray the next day, and they had never gotten the chance to talk about what had happened or explore the possibility of a relationship. Well, Beth had never given them the chance. It wasn't for Janice's lack of trying. But Beth's trauma had been so all encompassing that there wasn't room for anyone or anything else. Only over the last couple of days had she felt like the barriers were starting to come down. She honestly never wanted to leave this place. It was good for the soul.
She heard faint laughter in the distance and realized Amanda and Tracy were even further away than she thought they were, which was good, since Janice was now stroking her nipple through her bra. Beth was panting, leaning into her touch, and it was all she could do not to rip off her clothes right there and straddle Janice in the back of the truck. Janice pressed her lips to her neck again and Beth turned her head so their lips met. The kiss was slow and sensual and Beth reached up to grab the back of Janice's head, tangling her fingers in her thick shoulder length hair.
"Janice," she whimpered into the taller woman's mouth. "I need...um, I need..." She was suddenly embarrassed to voice what she wanted, the release her body needed so badly.
Janice pulled back to look at her for a moment, her eyes glittering in the dark. She raised her head to look out at the pitch black field, seemed satisfied with what she saw, and leaned down to kiss Beth again, her hand sliding away from her breast and down to her stomach. She rubbed slow circles a few times and then slipped her hand underneath the material of her shirt again, continuing the circles on bare skin. She trailed her fingers down to the waistband of Beth's shorts, one finger dipping inside to rub against the fabric of her panties.
"Please," Beth whispered, her voice ragged with need.
Janice leaned down again to capture her lips in another kiss, and she swallowed Beth's loud moan as her hand dipped inside her panties and cupped her. Beth spread her legs apart and Janice began lightly circling her clit with her thumb.
"Oh god," Beth groaned, her breathing coming faster and faster.
Janice's fingers slid up and down her slit, occasionally dipping inside. Beth's whole body was buzzing and she rocked back and forth against the other woman's hand. Her thoughts turned briefly to Amanda and Tracy, and she desperately hoped that they were still far away from the truck, so she could get some relief. She knew Janice was watching for the flashlight and listening for their voices, so she figured they were safe, but part of her was still concerned, even as the other part was going crazy at the sensations flooding her body.
All coherent thought flew from her head a moment later, though, when Janice slid two fingers inside her, her thumb still working furiously on her clit. Beth's head was thrown back and Janice was kissing her neck again as she pumped her fingers in and out quickly. She could feel the orgasm building inside her as Janice curled her fingers.
"Let go, baby, I've got you," Janice whispered in her ear, and Beth's body went rigid, the orgasm slamming through her, with another one following right on its heels.
The taller woman was kissing her again, muffling the moans that she couldn't seem to stop, as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over her. Finally she lay still, sweating in the cool night air, feeling spent and satisfied and happy. Janice kept her hand inside her panties for a moment, cupping her and rubbing gently, before she removed her hand and wrapped both arms around Beth, spooning her from behind. Beth was still trembling, as her body came down from the magnificent high.
"You okay?" Janice asked softly, her lips against Beth's ear.
Beth shivered and nodded, unable to find her voice. She turned around in Janice's arms and clung to her tightly, her head against her chest. Janice held her in her strong embrace, her chin resting against the top of Beth's head. They were quiet for several minutes, listening to the crickets chirping and the odd rustle of nearby animals. The breeze was cooler now and Beth felt cozy snuggled up with Janice underneath all the blankets. She leaned up to press her lips against the other woman's, and they kissed slowly, gently, knowing the others would likely be back soon and they needed to keep things under control.
Sure enough, not a minute later, they heard voices from across the field. With a sigh, Beth reluctantly pulled away from Janice and turned onto her side, away from her. Janice reached out to stroke her hair and then sat up, looking out into the darkness.
"...and that's when it just appeared in the middle of the night, right out of thin air."
"Oh my god, she is telling another ghost story," Janice snorted, and Beth started laughing.
"Tracy, you don't have to prove anything!" Janice yelled, leaning over the bed of the truck. Beth sat up as well, still laughing.
The flashlight came bobbing through the inky black night, and then Tracy was standing there, her arms crossed. ""You weren't there, you don't know."
"Oh, make it stop," Amanda groaned. "I'm going to have nightmares. The stories aren't so silly when you're wandering around a farmer's field at midnight. The hair is actually standing up on my arms right now."
Janice chuckled. "Where did you guys go, anyway?"
"Oh, just for a walk," Tracy said with a smile. "I needed some exercise." She looked at Beth with a raised eyebrow, and Beth looked away, realizing she and Janice hadn't been fooling their friends after all.
"Alright, I'm ready to call it a night," Amanda said with a yawn, and everyone mumbled their agreement.
They piled back into the cab of the truck, Beth sitting sideways on Janice's lap, with her legs stretched across Tracy's knees. It was a short ride back to the cottage, but she was suddenly so tired, and she closed her eyes, lulled by the soft sounds of the radio and Janice's thumb stroking her side. She could feel herself drifting into sleep and knew she should try to stay awake, since they were only a few minutes away from their destination and she could go to bed as soon as they got there. But she couldn't seem to help herself and her head slumped onto Janice's shoulder as she dozed off.
"Come on, Michelle, it can be just like old times, if you just loosen up a little. Tracy's okay, isn't she? I let her live because I know she's your best friend. Now I think you owe me a little something for that."
"No, Ray! I don't want to do this!"
"Do you know what it's like being locked away for twelve years with no physical contact? How lonely, how isolating it is? Come on, I know you'll learn to love it again, if you just give it a chance."
His hands were stroking her legs and she squirmed away from him, desperate for a chance to escape. But he was right there, in her face, and her hands were tied behind her back.
"Please, Ray, just stop. I'll do anything but this. How about we just talk for awhile? There's a lot to catch up on.
Ray grinned at her, straddling her lap, and she struggled to get away from him, but it was no use. She was tied down and his body was heavy against hers. "We can catch up when we're done," he whispered in her ear. "This is gonna be so good, Michelle."
He ripped open her shirt and Beth screamed.
xxx
*Song lyrics are from Nelly Furtado's "Try"