A/N - I'm really sorry that this took so long, but I've been extremely busy lately. And I'm sorry if this chapter is horrible. I've tried to fix it, but I'm not really sure what else to do to it. Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, and please let me know what you think about this one.

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Stronger Than I Am

Chapter Four

Chandler stared at Monica with wide eyes, wondering if he'd heard her correctly. "I gave you Chelsea? Chelsea is my daughter?"

"I'm sorry, Chandler. I know you weren't expecting this at all, and I honestly wasn't planning on telling you but -"

"Wait a minute. You were never going to tell me that I had a daughter?"

"I know it sounds horrible, but I just couldn't tell you. I didn't think you were ready to be a father, and we'd only been together for a few weeks. We were over, Chandler."

"Oh, we're far from over," he replied, still in complete shock. "And maybe I wasn't ready to be a father, but I could have adjusted. Monica, I can't believe you didn't tell me about her," he sighed and looked down at Chelsea - his daughter. "I knew her eyes looked familiar," he said quietly. He was still trying to comprehend what Monica had told him. He was a father. It was the most unbelievable thing he'd ever heard.

Monica watched Chandler as he just sat there, staring at the baby. She wondered what he was thinking. All she knew for sure was that she couldn't stop thinking about what had happened nearly two years ago.

Chandler had been in New York on business and they ran into each other in Central Perk. One thing led to another, and they began their love affair. Somehow she had managed to keep the whole thing a secret from her best friends. It certainly hadn't been easy. But when Chandler's time in New York ended, so did their relationship. She tried to go back to her normal, everyday life...

...Until the next month when a home pregnancy test confirmed her suspicions. There was no doubt about it. She was having Chandler's baby. She told her friends that she wanted to keep the baby's father a secret. How could she tell Ross?

The most difficult decision had been to keep her secret from Chandler. She had no idea that their time together had meant so much to him until tonight and, at the time, she didn't think that he was ready to be a father. She hadn't even been sure if she was ready to be a mother.

But here they were, sitting in Monica's living room, with their daughter. Monica broke the unnerving silence.

"Chandler, I'm really sorry," she began quietly, unable to look at him. "But you have to understand how terrified I was when I found out that our little fling resulted in a baby. I was afraid to tell you. I wasn't sure how you'd react when I told you that you were about to have a baby with a woman you hardly knew. I wasn't even sure how to react."

"Monica, if you had told me about the pregnancy from the beginning, I could have come back. I could have been here for you through the whole thing. I just don't understand why you were going to keep this from me."

"But I didn't," she defended herself. "I told you tonight, didn't I?"

"Yes, but you wouldn't have if I hadn't shown up," he reminded her.

She finally worked up the courage to look him in the eye. "I don't know what to say, Chandler. I'm really sorry, and I hope you can forgive me - for Chelsea's sake."

He looked from Monica to Chelsea, then back to Monica. "I will... It's just going to take some time... I mean, I've missed out on so much of my daughter's life. I didn't get to see the first sonogram; I wasn't there to hold your hand when you gave birth to our little girl; I didn't hear her first words or -"

"Mama. She's only said mama," Monica interrupted. "She babbles a lot, but the only real word we can make out is mama."

"Oh... Then I guess I'll have to teach her to say dada, huh?" he smiled weakly. "I can't believe I'm a dad," he said.

"Well, you definitely are," Monica smiled with tears in her eyes. "I want you to be a part of Chelsea's life, Chandler."

"I want that too, Monica, but..." He wasn't sure how to say this. There were no words to describe how angry he was that she had chosen to keep him out of his daughter's life for almost a year. On the other hand, he cared about Monica more than he'd ever cared about anyone. And, surprisingly, he wasn't freaking out over the fact that he had a child - another human being that he was supposed to be responsible for. Maybe it just hadn't had a chance to sink in yet. Yeah. That had to be it. "I can't just push aside the fact that you kept her away from me for such a long time. I wasn't planning on being a father this soon, but if I had known that I was, I would have wanted to be here... I wish I had been here, Monica."

"I know," she said quietly. "I wish you had been here, too. But you weren't, Chandler, and I can't change that. I was stupid to think that I could keep her from you. Believe me, I've paid for it over and over again for the last year... Do you remember what you said to me before you left?"

He took a deep breath, remembering his words very clearly. "I said that I didn't want you to follow me. I didn't want to take you away from your friends and family and your life here, in New York..." He hesitated before continuing, this time much more quietly. "And I said that I wasn't ready for a commitment."

"Exactly," Monica replied, fighting back tears. "You weren't ready for a commitment. What do you think Chelsea is, Chandler? She's the biggest commitment I could possibly think of."

Chandler looked down to see that Chelsea was sleeping in his lap, completely unaware of what her parents were going through. He sighed loudly and looked back at Monica. "But this is different, Monica. As soon as you found out that you were having my baby, you should have told me. I had a right to know. She's just as much mine as she is yours. You had no right to keep her from me. I understand that what I said might have caused you to think otherwise, but this is a lot bigger than some relationship that we might or might not have had."

Monica wasn't sure what to say. She felt like screaming at him, but there were two reasons that she couldn't. First of all, she didn't want to wake Chelsea. Secondly, she knew that Chandler was absolutely right. She shouldn't have tried to keep her from him. "Let me take her to bed. Then we'll talk." She stood and removed the baby from Chandler's lap and carried her into the nursery, closing the door behind her.

Once she had left the room, Chandler stood and began pacing back and forth through the living room. He paused when he heard crying coming from the nursery. He walked to the door and listened carefully, then recognized Monica's voice singing a soft lullaby to their little girl. A few seconds later, the crying ceased and so did the singing. Chandler walked back to the couch and sat down. He laid his head against the back of the couch and closed his eyes, trying to take it all in.

Monica returned to the living room a few minutes later and sat down in the armchair, looking toward him. "Chandler?" she began, pulling him out of his thoughts. He raised his head and looked at her, urging her to continue. "I know that what I did was wrong. You deserve to be a father to her. She deserves to have you. I realize that now, but I thought it was too late."

"It's never too late Monica. I -" He stopped when she interrupted him.

"Let me finish, Chandler. Just listen to me for a few minutes. Please?" she asked. He nodded, so she went on. "You have absolutely no idea what I've gone through since you left. You told me that you didn't want a commitment, Chandler. So I thought that keeping her from you was the best thing to do at the time. I know it was stupid, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I was pregnant. The hormones alone drove me crazy... You might be her father, but you didn't have to go through any of that. You didn't wake up every morning for three months more sick than you'd ever been in your life. You didn't carry another human being inside of you for nine months. You didn't go through twenty seven hours of labor to bring another life into the world. I did... And I did it alone." She paused, fighting back tears. "I always thought that when I had a baby, I'd have the baby's father around to help me through it, to tell me it was going to be okay. But I didn't have that luxury because you said that you didn't want a commitment. It wasn't fair, Chandler, and I understand that keeping you out of her life wasn't fair either. It wasn't fair to you, it wasn't fair to Chelsea, and it wasn't fair to me. I see that now. But I can't change it. I understand that you're upset with me. I don't blame you. You can complain about it forever if you want to, but that's not going to make it any better. You need to get to know your daughter."

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A/N - I know most of you were expecting Chandler to be the father, so this wasn't really a surprise. I also noticed in the reviews that someone said something about maybe Joey being the father. Well, I actually did think about that - sort of. I have another version of chapter four and the next couple of chapters that used that kind of idea, but you'd have to read them to understand the whole thing. I thought about posting them, too, but it would probably be too confusing. So I decided to go ahead and make Chandler the dad. Hope it didn't disappoint you too much. lol Please let me know what you thought.