AN: Thank you to all who have given this story a chance, it shocks the heck out of me. I know I said Sunday would be my update day but as I mentioned before, I've gotten a lot of writing done so I'm just going to keep updating every few days. If I get behind, I'll let y'all know.

I know this has been slow going so far and will be for another few chapters but after the funeral I'm going to start moving things along. I have the story outlined so I feel confident in where I'm taking this story.

Again, I did research to find out about how the Army handles a deployed soldier's death but I'm sure I'm not 100% correct in my writing so for that I apologize.

Hope you all have a great weekend. It's finally above 60 degrees here today and I'm running a half marathon in 2 months so it's off to the trails for me!

Chapter 4

Bella

I could tell that it was much lighter in my room than I last recalled. Slowly I opened my eyes to the harsh sunlight and immediately turned away from it. I rolled over and hit a solid mass so again I opened my eyes. Rose was lying on the bed with me and just looking at me. When she realized I was awake she put her arm around me and that's all it took for the damn to break and the tears to start.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through but I want you to know I'm here and I'm not going anywhere", she said.

"When I first realized I was awake I thought that maybe it was all a bad dream. That I had just hung up with James and gone to bed and it was time to get up and get ready for work but it's not just a dream, is it?"

Rose shook her head and grabbed my hand and let me continue.

"God Rose, what am I going to do? I'm having a baby. I don't have a mom or any sisters to help me. I know all the technicalities from being a nurse but I don't know anything else. I'm going to be all alone; I'm going to have to do this all alone. I'm so scared", I barely got the last word out before getting choked up again.

"Bella, we are all here for you: Emmett, Edward, Me, the people you work with. You won't have to worry about anything, we are going to help you every step of the way. And don't worry about knowing how to be a mom, I really don't think anyone knows how to be a mom- it's all learn as you go. And, Emmett is going to walk you through everything and make sure you have what you need and I'll be there to hold your hand the entire way…and so will Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. If you stay here, nothing will change and if you go to Seattle, I'll be on the first plane there when you let me know that baby is here. Whatever you want."

"I don't even know where to start. Everything is crazy. When does he get back here, what do I have to do to make sure he's taken care of? I don't know what kind of funeral James wanted but he does want to be in Forks, he told me that. And then after that what happens? I'm going to have to sell the house because I can't pay the mortgage on my salary….and affording a child, child care and working. I just don't know how it is all going to work out. And when the Cullen's find out about the baby I think they are going to try to talk me into moving to Seattle or even Forks but I love it here in Nashville, I don't want to leave."

Rose immediately responded, "Bella, you don't have to go anywhere. We are all here for you. The best thing about the Army is your built in family and let me assure you, we will take care of you. If you need to, sell the house and move into an apartment near Emmett and me, it's still close to the hospital ….or move close to Edward, or any of your co-workers. Find someplace that is near your support."

I looked at Rose for a minute and felt a lone tear leak out of my eye, "Should I even be talking about this. I don't even know how to mourn. Right now it feels like everything is just so unreal, that this isn't happening to me – that it's happening to someone else. What's the right thing to do?"

"I wish I could tell you Bella but I think you are doing ok so far. The most important thing right now is to let Emmett help you and take care of that little one. When is your next appointment?"

I sighed and then answered, "November 15th, it's the 20 week sonogram so I was going to get to find out the sex of the baby. James was so excited to find out what we were having. He let it slip once that he was hoping for a little girl that he could protect." That thought brought a smile to my face, James was adamant that it was a girl and that although she'd be a tomboy, she'd be the girliest tomboy you've ever known. "Will you go with me? I don't think I can do it by myself."

Rose waited a few seconds before answering, "I want to be there with you but I'm heading back to Atlanta early for Thanksgiving to spend some time with my family. I'm sure one of the Cullen's will come spend some time with you and go. This is crazy but you could always ask Edward to go with you, I'm sure he'd do anything he could to help out….he seems like such a nice guy."

"Yeah, Alice or Esme would go but having them there would be hard. And Edward, I know him but I don't know him well enough to be half naked on an examination table, and I think I'd be a little uncomfortable with him in the room, you know."

"Well, maybe he could just drive you and wait in the lobby or something. Regardless, you'll have someone with you Bella but you have to remember to ask. From here on out it's important that you ask for the help you need. I know that goes against your nature and you are usually able to handle everything on your own but don't let the stress weigh you down."

I just lay there and thought about what Rose said. Asking for help wasn't always my strength. Who am I kidding, I never asked for help because I knew that I could get things done on my own—I guess I'm kind of a control freak that way. Rose's voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, Emmett is in the den. He has some information for you and wanted to let you know what's going on. Do you feel up to talking with him?"

"Yeah." I made a move to get up and got really dizzy. Immediately I sat back down.

"Bella, do I need to get someone, Edward?. Are you ok?" Rose asked with a worried look on her face.

No, don't get anyone. I think I'm just a little dehydrated. Could you get me a glass of water? Everything is kind of fuzzy right now and I don't want to stand up and pass out."

Rose moved towards the bathroom door, "Let me just get a glass for you. Give me a minute."

Edward

I woke up to a knock on the door so after getting my bearings, I went to open the door. There stood Captain McCarty, Emmett, and blonde I had never seen before but could only assume was his wife.

"Morning, you must be Edward. I'm Rose, Emmett's wife and a friend of Bella and James. We spoke yesterday."

"Yes, yes, of course. Come inside please. Sorry, I had a rough night's sleep and your knocking woke me up. I haven't seen Bella so I guess she's still asleep." I said.

"No problem, man. We figured it'd be a rough night. It's nice to meet you officially, I'm sorry we had to meet yesterday under such uncomfortable circumstances." Emmett said to me as we walked into the house.

"Yeah. Would ya'll like some coffee? I haven't made any yet but can get a pot going."

Rose answered, "I'm going to go check on Bella, I'll be back in a few minutes." And with that she was off down the hall. Obviously she has spent a lot of time in this house.

I turned to Emmett and he gave me a slight nod as to say, "Yeah, coffee is good" so I lead us towards the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. As I was waiting for it to be done, I gave Emmett a good look. He looked worn down and sad, I'm sure James was a friend of his and this must be a big loss for him too. I soon realized that Emmett didn't do well with uncomfortable silence.

"So, how do you know James?"

"He and I were fraternity brothers at Virginia Tech. We met our freshman year and figured out we were both from the Seattle area and became friends. How about you, besides working with James were ya'll friends as well?" I asked.

Emmett nodded his head and answered, "Yeah, Rose and Bella got to be good friends so we've hung out together outside of work. He was a great guy and I'm going to miss him. He was a hell of a soldier and the men that were under him are lucky to have had him as a boss. You hate to see anyone killed in action but I've never wanted to be deployed so badly. I wish I had been over there to look out for him. I know about the baby and talked to him once about it, he was thrilled."

"I'm sure he was. Although yesterday was awful, when I asked Bella about the baby I could see a bit of light in her eyes. I'm assuming when James was home for R&R is when it happened. I bet he thought he was a stud getting her pregnant during the few days he was home. I didn't get to see him then, I was on a crazy schedule at the hospital, now that seems like a waste." I said while trailing off and thinking about the call James made to me the weekend he was home. I had just gotten off a 48-hour shift and had 24 hours off before a 36-hour shift and just couldn't do it. What a shitty friend I was and that was my last opportunity to see him. Damn.

"Yeah, it was a fast trip home. R&R always goes by faster than you think. You want to try to see everyone and fit it all the drinking you can." I let my mind wonder to what James did before he went back to Afghanistan…besides the obvious. Emmett brought me back to the real world. "So, I found out some information for Bella. Looks like James will be flown to Dover tomorrow and will then be taken to Forks if that's what he wants. He loved that Podunk town, I'm sure he wants to go home now. I'll be heading to Dover to escort him home but Bella or any family is welcome to be there to. Do you know what she wants?"

"No. I found the "Deployment 2010" file but Bella hasn't looked through it yet. From my brief glance, James has it all spelled out for her. I'm a bit more concerned about what Bella will do after the funeral. She's got a lot on her plate."

"It's a lot to handle but I wanted to be her CAO so I could stay with her and walk her through everything. I figured a familiar face would make it that much easier. Usually the CAO doesn't escort the body but I feel like it's something I can do for James."

"You're a good friend, I know this must be hard for you too. Bella is lucky to have you looking out for her." Just then I heard noise from down the hall and Emmett must've heard it too because he turned his head towards the bedrooms. I saw Rose walking out with a somber look on her face and Bella followed right behind her.

Rose spoke immediately. "Coffee ready?"

"Yep, it's all done. Bella, do you want me to make you some decaf?" I answered.

Bella stepped over to the cabinets and got out four coffee mugs then she started talking. "No, I'll just have orange juice." She reached in the fridge to grab the bottle and then turned to Emmett, "So, Rose said you have some information for me?"

Emmett answered her, "Yes, James is going to be arriving at Dover tomorrow. I'll be there to meet him and then I stay with him until we take him wherever he wanted to go….I'm assuming Forks?" Bella nodded. "You can go with us, or the Cullen's can…anyone really or you can just go to Forks and we'll be there. Whatever you'd like."

Bella had tears in her eyes but was trying to be so strong. "I don't think I'll go to Dover but I would think that Carlisle and Jasper may want to go with you. They'll be here this afternoon so I'll ask them then. I suspect the funeral will be this week but I just….", she stopped talking so I looked her way and again, my heart broke. She was shaking her head and looking down to the ground. Rose walked over to her and put his arm around her shoulder and whispered something to her.

I took this opportunity to speak. "Bella, why don't we talk to Carlisle and Jasper about it this afternoon, there aren't any decisions that need to be made right this minute."

Rose looked at me and nodded and then spoke to Bella, telling her that she was going to stay for a few hours and that she wanted to make sure Bella ate and took a shower. With that Bella walked back to the bedroom. I looked over at Rose and let her know I was going to head back to my place for a bit to shower and change clothes and call work to get some time off and that I was going to talk to Bella's supervisor as well. She said that was fine.

"Please let Bella know I'll be back around 2pm. The Cullen's flight lands at 1pm and they are renting a car and should be here around that time. Call me if you need anything."

Emmett turned to her and followed by saying, "I'm going to head out too, I have to head to the base and get all the paperwork and my orders for Dover. I'll be home around 5:30pm so I'll see you then, ok?"

Rose nodded. Emmett turned toward me and shook my hand. This man was a friend or James's, his wife a friend of Bella's and little did I know but he'd soon become a friend of mine. With one last shake, he and I turned toward the door and headed out.

I walked outside, looked up to the sky and took a deep breath. The next few days were not going to be ones I looked forward too.