Authors Note: Thanks for the positive comments and everything! This chapter is a bit longer. I'm not very good at writing long chapters as on word it always looks longer to me than it turns out. This chapter is more Joniss (Johanna+Katniss) so sorry to all Peeniss shippers, they'll be back next chapter. Enjoy!
I woke up screaming more than once that night. And every time, Peeta held me until I fell asleep again. The nightmare that I kept having was of Prim and Rue, welcoming me and the baby into Heaven. It was a slightly comforting dream, for a while, but then the baby turned on me. Prim and Rue tried to protect me, but after a while they turned on me too. They tried to kill me, a demonic look in their eyes. I didn't get much sleep. All I could think about is the look on the child's face. A look that meant death.
Throughout the entire day, the dream haunted her. Nothing Peeta could say or do would comfort her. She hugged her stomach, trying to convince herself that this baby didn't mean for any of this to happen. She sat in her bedroom, crying. Her eyes become red and puffy. Look at you, you're pathetic, a voice in her head whispered. You've gone through almost dying, but this is your child. Get your act together. The voice sounded like Johanna. She hadn't seen Johanna in a while, so she wondered why she was dominating her thoughts. She hugged her knees to her chest, and turned to face the door, where she saw Johanna.
She hadn't seen Johanna in a few months, and in those few months she hadn't changed much. Her normally brown hair had been dyed red, but that was about it. The red suited her and her fiery personality. She smiled, leaning against the door frame. She was also rather skinnier. Johanna walked over to Katniss' bed and sat on the edge, without invitation.
"Hello, brainless. I heard you've got a baby inside you." Johanna smiled, her usual kidding self. Johanna was sometimes serious, but when she was serious you had to listen to her. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love. Johanna had said that in a deadly serious tone, when they were in the quarter quell. Katniss had felt like that, when Prim died. But she had Peeta. She had heard rumours of Johanna and Gale, but she wasn't one to believe rumours. She'd heard many spread about herself. Johanna didn't wait for Katniss to reply before getting to the serious things.
"I don't know if you've heard, but I can't have children. Whatever the Capitol did to me led to me being infertile. So, appreciate this child. I want a baby more than anything, but yet I can't have one. I don't care if this child is killing you, it's a baby and it's not trying to. Katniss, it's your child and it loves you. And I know you love it too, no matter how many times you cry about it, you will not get rid of this child." Katniss looked up to face Johanna. She hadn't heard Johanna was unable to have children. Katniss had always thought of Johanna as never having children, she couldn't love somebody like that. Or could she? Her tone of voice telling Katniss that she loved the child was something she had never heard before. The sharp, quick tone that Katniss wouldn't mess with no matter what. Did the baby really love her? She felt a slight feeling go up inside her, and she knew that the baby was saying yes. Do not worry my darling, I will never hurt you. I love you.
"I didn't know you couldn't have children." Katniss said, surprising herself. The tone she used was a tone of someone who didn't care. She stared down at her stomach. This new feeling overcame her, a feeling that the only person who mattered was this child inside of her. That new matter what, she would protect this child. Johanna shrugged, crawling over closer to Katniss. She stroked Katniss' stomach, becoming lost for a second. Katniss bowed her head to look at Johanna, who seemed to be crying. Katniss had never seen Johanna cry, so this was an odd sight. As she saw Katniss looking, she quickly wiped her tears and tore herself away from Katniss' stomach.
"I'd give anything to have this child in my stomach. Then my life would be complete. I wouldn't even care if it was killing me." Johanna didn't seem to be saying this to Katniss; she seemed to be saying it to the baby. She continued to look at Katniss' stomach, and Katniss knew that Johanna wanted to hate her. She had the only thing Johanna wanted, and she wasn't appreciating it. Katniss decided to ask Johanna if she was dating Gale. She hadn't seen Gale in a few years. The last time he visited, it had reminded Katniss of everything that happened in the past and she couldn't face it.
"Johanna, don't hate me. But I've heard these… rumours about you and Gale, and…" Katniss was slightly scared that Johanna would start screaming. She was being careful, because she may not be completely cured from the Capitol's ways. Johanna just simply laughed. "Oh, Katniss. Still afraid of me, are you?" She laughed again, making Katniss feel rather uncomfortable. Katniss backed away, causing Johanna to stop laughing.
"Yes, they're true." Johanna slightly smiled then. Katniss was happy for her and Gale. She had never really imagined it, as the first time they had met Gale had told Katniss he was scared of her. Odd how we predicted fear for love, Katniss thought. In that moment, she thought of Peeta when they had found out. He was afraid, but he had always loved this child. No matter what. She turned to Johanna, a giant smile on her face, the biggest she had worn in a long time.
"Johanna, this baby is going to have the best parents in the whole goddamn, cruel, messed up world." She made this promise to herself. If they made it out alive, her child would be loved like no other, she would make sure of that.