AN: Juliet is a man, damn it!

PS: School's starting back up again and as a second year college student, updates won't be as regular as I would like them to be. :|

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hetalia characters or the play in which I have placed them in.

Romerica and Juliet

Act I, Scene 3

(Norway and Iceland enter the scene)-Narrators

Iceland: Your turn.

Norway: (clears throat) Lady Capulet attempts to talk her daughter into marrying Count Paris. Juliet however, has her sights set on something else.

Proving to her parents that she's really male and not female.

A blonde woman lounges on a plush couch in a spacious room, sipping a glass of wine. The glass is balanced neatly between her middle and ring fingers, holding on by the neck. She adjusts herself on the couch and sighs, where is that daughter of hers? She summoned her three times already, so she must've heard her by now.

"Nurse, where is my daughter?" She questions to a mousey brunette male standing behind her lounge couch. The words roll off her tongue, coated in a silky French accent. " I need to talk to her." She reaches down and scratches at her crotch, her hand lingering a bit longer than needed.

There is a penis underneath Lady Capulet's hand; she is male.

The Nurse turns his head away, he really didn't need to see that. "I swear to you Lady Capulet, I woke her up a few minutes ago! Juliet! Juliet!"

Another person enters the room, a tall blonde teen boy with bright blue eyes. He stomps into the room, hiking up the skirts on his dress as he walks. "Stop calling me! I heard you the first time!"

"It was your mother, Juliet."

Juliet drops the skirts to he-his dress and he sticks his hands in his pockets. "What do you want?" He questions nonchalantly.

"We need to talk. Nurse you may leave-wait, never mind; you are already familiar with my family's dirty laundry. And how young my daughter is." Lady Capulet rubs at her crotch again.

The nurse bows lightly at Lady Capulet's words. "Indeed I do. She is not even nineteen yet. I remember the Great World War a few years ago. Juliet was a small child then, a clumsy one too. All these cuts and bruises I cleaned everyday and when I asked if they hurt, she'd just grin up at me and say 'Nope! Heroes never get hurt!'"

"Okay, that's enough Nurse."

"Oh I'm so sorry!" The Nurse's bow grows deeper. "Hopefully I live long enough to see Miss Juliet get married."

Lady Capulet perks up at the statement, wine glass settled on the floor. "Oui, and that is what we are here to discuss! Tell me, ma fille Juliet, how do you feel about getting married?"

"Marriage? Yeah, not really ready for that kind of commitment." Juliet states, rubbing the back of his head. Lady Capulet cocks an eyebrow in disagreement.

"Well, get ready. Chéri, girls your age are already happy mothers and wives. When I was your age, I already had you and your brother." He ignores the disgusted look on his 'daughter's' face. "Listen, Count Paris wants you to be his blushing bride."

"C-count Paris? H-he's scary!" The Nurse shivers behind the couch at the thought of Count Paris. "He's so tall and he smiles a lot! He takes advantage of those smaller and weaker than him, and he forces them to become one with Russia! I don't even know what Russia is, but I don't w-want to become one with it!"

Lady Capulet's blue eyes grow hazy and he brings his hands up in front of him to grope the air. "He may be all that but he's handsome too, with a rock hard body." He wipes a little loose drool from his mouth. "Muscles that look like they were sculpted from marble, a nice and tight rear and I bet he's got a big-"

"Heart!" The Nurse interjects quickly. He saves the readers of this play from the lechery that is Lady Capulet. "A big heart from being…k-kind?"

Lady Capulet turns to Juliet, totally ignoring the Nurse's rude input. "So what do you say? Paris is a good looking man, with devilishly sexy looks." Lady Capulet rises and walks over to his daughter, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He'll be at our party tonight so you can get to know him, ohonhonhon~. So what do you say, chéri?"

Juliet yanks himself away from his mother and jumps back a few feet. His face displays his emotion clearly, and he is not happy one bit. "Accept his love? NO! I don't like that commie bastard and I never will!" He moves to stomp towards the door again before another thought pops into his head.

"And when will you guys realize that I'm a guy and not a chick?" He hikes up his skirts to emphasize his point.

The Nurse promptly blushes and passes out, while his mother waves off the impromptu flash. Unfortunately, Peter chooses this time to walk in because he had been eavesdropping outside the room and when the voices stopped, he decided to see what was going on. He walks over to Lady Capulet but turns to look over his shoulder at Juliet; luckily the lady of the house covers his innocent virgin eyes from the sight.

"Madam, the guests are all here and dinner's been served. Everyone's acting all prissy though, so follow me."

Juliet drops his skirts and Lady Capulet releases Peter. The young boy leads the lady to the door and he follows, tapping Juliet on the shoulder when they pass one another.

"Juliet, go now. The count is waiting for you~!"

Juliet curses at his mother, but follows him out of the room anyway.