The rest of the day went by oddly. Viktor was, of course, in all of my classes, except band. Our last names fell right beside each other alphabetically so he always ended up behind me. I could feel his eyes burning into me, wanting me to return his feelings, but I... I don't know. Somehow, I'd gotten around the emotional pull I'd felt before, and now... Another bell. The day was done, the rest of the day was mine. Finally. I packed my books back into my bag and slung it over my shoulder. Something pulled at the back of my messenger bag, making me stop. I froze, body tingling again.
"Viktor...let me go."
"Wait," he began, hurt in his eyes at my rejection. "I didn't mean to come at you so fast like that."
"It was the heat of the moment."
"No, I still do feel for you." He didn't give up, did he? I can't honestly say I hadn't thought about him as well, though.
"Viktor..." I sighed, and pulled away, folding my arms as if they would somehow hide my heart away from him. "I can't do this!" I shrugged him off completely, and ran out of the door, turning a blind eye to the hurt in his face. What the hell was I supposed to do?! I had...feelings, but... What had I felt before now? I had wanted him, and now it was more than just another teenage fantasy; it was real, and I don't think I was honestly ready for it. I was so stupid ! Leading him on like that! Was I even ready for a real relationship? And then, a gay one at that...
The cool window of the bus felt amazing against my forehead as I leaned my head sluggishly against it. What would my parents think? What would everyone else think?! Oh, wait, they're just people... One of the last things I said to Viktor before he... I smiled at his name, his face appearing in my mind. It had felt good. Why had I freaked out like that? Maybe I was delirious... Sleep would do me good, I guess.
After a quarter of an hour of riding, the bus creaked up to my driveway. I lugged my bags on and dragged myself to the door, hardly paying any attention to the assholes ogling me with those dumbass expressions on their faces. They already thought I was a queer, and now... I opened the door, dumped my bags on the other side, and trudged in moodily.
My mother looked up from a boiling pot. "How was your day?" A million answers flooded my brain, but I only expressed one, and it was a lie.
"Fine," I grumbled, looking up distantly into the steam rising above the pot.
"You don't honestly seem all that fine," she replied, stirring some kind of spice into the awaiting meal. I sighed, muttered, "Don't worry 'bout it," and trudged upstairs where I threw myself face down on my bed and unwillingly let my brain flash me everything I had done with Viktor. All the fun...the lust. I rolled over, and having had enough, tried to force the images from my mind, but I couldn't. I cried out in frustration and slipped over to my laptop, pulling up my profile page. New messages, I thought. Please don't be- I opened my inbox. Phew, none from him. Just the opposite, hate mail. How the fuck did these assholes even get my freaking screen name? I deleted them one by one, glaring at the headings: hey, fag. so u and viktor huh? how many queers does it take to screw in a light bulb? I scanned over the screen, found the block user icon and stamped all of them.
Ding. I looked down at the bottom of the screen. xXthebulgarianXx has sent an IM; answer? I clicked "yes". I don't know why, my brain seemed to be independent from my heart now.
xXbulgarboyXx : im srry... can we talk?
Fallenangel23: howd u find me?
xXbulgarboyXx: i get around. So now your stalking me, I thought, beside myself.
Fallenangel23: what do u want?
xXthebulgarboyXx: u.
Just seeing the words made me fidget a little.
Fallenangel23: who did u get my name from?
xXbulgarboyXx: another boy in our class, he said he was good friends w/ u... tall, bad skin... he had an odd smile... wat's ur english word for it... a joker grin?
My heart skipped a beat. Only one asshole fit that description. The biggest one of them all:Richard Davies.
Fallenangel23: viktor, stay away from him, and dont do this ever again.
xXbulgarboyXx: caleb, wat is wrong?
I signed out, slamming the laptop down. They knew. Those messages on my profile... They knew. About me and Viktor, for real. This is going to be plastered everywhere! I thought frantically. The entire school would know what was happening between us by Monday morning next week... How could I have let this happen?!
"Caleb!" Mom called. "Dinner's ready; come eat!" I was horrified. I couldn't even bring myself to move.
The rest of my free weekend went by in absolute turmoil, leading up to that faithful Monday. Trying to play sick would have been pointless, Mom was into medicine. However, I did get out of riding the bis to school, feigning that I had set my alarm wrong. My mother pulled up to the front of the school grounds. I looked up drearily at the dark clouds swirling slowly over us, eager to burst forth with downpour. My Mom called back to me if I was okay, I gave a slight gesture and she rode off, leaving me to my fate.
I trudged up to the door. People coming and going around me, each ceased what they were doing in turn to gawk at me, some laughing, others pointing, and even more merely shook their heads as if I was some dying child on the street. Bastards. All of them.
Ever wish you could go back in time and change something? We all have, but I think me meeting Viktor would have to be the ringer. Even though my life was ruined, I still needed to apologize to him. He'd was all that had been on my mind the past three days. Now I needed to see him again. To find some kind of comfort, maybe?
I popped open my locker, stuffed a few books in my bag, and was about to close it again when a hand fell on my shoulder. "Viktor-"I sighed, turning to meet a wide joker grin on the acne-ridden face of Richard Davies. Not Viktor. Shit.
"Guess again," Ricky sneered, shoving me up against the lockers. A crowd began to gather at the noise, eager to see a fight, but no teachers. Funny how they were never around when you actually wanted them.
"What do you want?" I sighed, knowing it was pointless to get mad, and just egg him on more.
" I want the fucking fags out of here," he snapped. I looked around with fake curiosity.
"Fags? I don't see anybody except the dumbass redneck harassing me," I retorted. "And when you do finally figure out that I insulted you in that tiny brain of yours, we can discuss this later." WHAM! I had prepared to deflect the blow with the few years of martial arts experience I had, but a strong hand had shot in front of my face, catching Ricky's fist. I followed the length of the muscular arm to see Viktor. I stared quizzically at him, he looked back at me, and I felt my face grow hot again. The previous cheering crowd had gone silent, confused.
"Stay behind, I will handle this," he said with such seriousness that I couldn't find any way of arguing back. And stood down. Ricky tried to use the distraction to his advantage, launching another punch from his opposite hand, but his fist stopped in mid-air as he gave an oddly high-pitched scream. There was an awful crack. Ricky reeled back, screaming and holding his withered hand. Viktor had just crushed every bone in his hand at one time.
Viktor moved faster than I thought humanly possible, appearing right in Ricky's face with an expression that would make the devil piss himself. "I think your hand got smashed in a door," he stated. Ricky cowered, shaking. "And, if you ever mess with Caleb again, you won't have to worry about the pain you feel now, you'll be dead." Viktor walked back over to me as the crowd dispersed, disappointed that Ricky had lost, but glad to have seen him go out like that.
"Are you okay?"
"I am now." I smiled sheepishly. "Thanks."
"It was noth-" Viktor stopped suddenly, a pained grimace coming across his face.
"V-Viktor?" I began. He fell against me, nearly crushing me into the ground, but I managed to catch him and turn him sideways, sliding to the floor with him. A wicked switch blade was sticking out of his back. Scarlet seeped through his shirt, darkening its color maliciously. I looked up to see Ricky slumped against the wall and cuddling his broken hand, a satisfied smirk on his face.
"You fucked up my boy, now I fucked up yours, fucking queer." Our audience was silent, just watching as Viktor slowly bleed to death in my arms. I looked pleadingly to each of their faces, but no one made a move. Finally, I snapped, tears welling hotly in my enraged eyes.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, people?!" I screamed. "Help him!" Nobody moved. I was becoming delirious, the hot tears pouring down my face. I must've looked crazed.
"Somebody!" I pleaded. "Do...something!" And yet, still no one stirred. That's when it hit me. They were afraid. They were afraid to help these two fags because of how their image would look, and what Ricky might do the them. I could honestly not sit there and believe that they would watch someone die over something so stupid. I eased Viktor to the floor, rolling him on his side to keep his face off the floor and the knife from going any deeper into his back. I stood, shaking with rage and walked over to the nearest bitch: Courtney. I held out a hand.
"Give me your phone," I said simply, forcing myself to calm. She shook her head and cowered slightly, clutching the phone I knew was in her hands to her. "Courtney, give-me-your-phone. Now." She shrank back even more. This was getting nowhere. Putting every bit of rage and hate for all the bastards around me; and the passion I now felt for Viktor into my hand, I punched the shit out of that bitch's face, sending her sprawling into the floor, her cell phone sliding across the floor to rest against a wall.
Someone made a move to get it, but stopped as I said, "Touch it, and you'll end up just like that stupid bitch over there." I pointed to where Courtney lay whimpering and bleeding against a huddle of her friends. The guy backed away fearfully as I bent to pick it up, flipping it open and dialing the classic help hot line. I walked back over to Viktor and kneeled beside him, listening to instructions on what to do until the paramedics arrived.
I leaned down and gently kissed his forehead. "I'm so sorry..."