Chapter IV
Dearest Edward,
You probably feel a bit guilty now. Maybe even suicidal. Let this be my last request. You will not commit suicide. You will not go to the Volturi. You will not fall of the wagon and suddenly embrace the monster in you to drown whatever sorrows arise from this in human blood. You will also not starve yourself.
It is not your fault I loved as deeply as I did. It is not your fault that I was just not right for you or enough. You have to do what is best for yourself.
And you did warn me in the beginning you tried doing the right thing at first. But then I guess the silence of my mind was too intrigueing. I didn't want to listen it is my fault.
I am sorry to go like this I am just so lost in darkness. And there is a gaping hole where my heart used to be. I am nothing but a shell, I can only barely remember my name. So deep is my pain. I want to leave this world remembering my name, remembering something other than pain. I want to leave this world still knowing who I am because each day I lose my self a little more. I want to be able to recall my love for you.
I have written a letter to all of you.
Please listen to it and also Jacob and the Quilleutes change into wolves and have been keeping me safe. They will blame you for my death.
Please keep peace between you and them please don't hurt them. I love Jacob. He is my best friend. And I love his pack. Sometimes they nearly pulled me out of the darkness.
Don't blame Alice. I keep changing my mind how I wish to die. I don't even know as I am writing how I am going to go yet.
I love you my heart, my soul my life.
I love you Edward
Goodbye
Your
Bella