Warnings: None what-so-ever 'cept for out of characterness and just plain weirdness.
Disclaimer: I do not own DB/DBZ/DBGT, I don't own the characters, any concepts of the Dragon Ball/Z/GT (i.e. senzu beans), and I don't own the Dragon Ball/Z/GT universe. I also make no money off this fic.
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Please forgive me if I don't post as much or as frequently, I've got a case of writer's block as far as DBZ shorts go, that and the fact that (shameless plug warning) I have this really long fic that I'm working on! I know where it's going and all, but I'm going to need some time to write it.
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"Hey Vegeta!" Goku yelled running into the room the royal Sayian was sitting in. "Wanna go play a hearty round of golf?"
Vegeta growled. "Don't you remember? We're banned from that sport."
Goku's shoulders slumped. "Aw man…"
Vegeta snorted, "Hmph. Well anyway, for all I care you can eat those clubs. They've caused more trouble…" he stopped abruptly when he realized Goku wasn't in the room anymore.
Vegeta raced after Goku's chi and followed him to another room. To his dismay Goku already had a driver down his throat sword eater style.
"Kakarot!" Vegeta cried. He flew up and hovered over Goku's face for a brief moment. Then the Sayian prince planted one foot on Goku's forehead and began to pull on the part of the club that wasn't in Goku's mouth.
Goku on the other hand didn't want to give up his snack, so he clamped his teeth down on the part he had in his mouth.
"Kakarot! You baka!" Vegeta yelled pulling on the golf club with all his might. When he found that he couldn't budge the club, Vegeta flared up into his Super Sayian form.
From the doorway Goten and Trunks looked on with rapt attention.
"How cute." Goten said with the whole eyes scrunched up bit. "They're playing tug-o-war!"
Trunks sweat dropped, "That's got to be the strangest game of tug-o-war I've ever seen."
Vegeta, still unable to remove the object from Goku's mouth went Super Sayian two. This time when he tugged, the club came out, teeth and all.
"Ewwwwww." Vegeta cried, as an afterthought he added, "Kakarot! You wear dentures?" He shook his index finger at Goku, "I always knew all those sweets would catch up to you!"
Goku blinked and looked down at the golf club. Gently he reached down and took tried to pry them off.
Unfortunately, they wouldn't budge. "Actually, no." Goku said straining to get the teeth off.
Finally, he just snapped the club in half and slid the teeth off. At this act Vegeta went Super Sayian three.
"You'll pay for that!"
"Really?" Goku asked putting the teeth back in his mouth. "How much did it cost?"
"I meant I was going to beat you up!" Vegeta yelled. Then he stopped and went back to normal. "Hey, how did you put your teeth in if they're not dentures?"
"Simple." Goku replied, "We're cartoon characters, right?"
Vegeta grew very serious. "We are anime characters Kakarot, and don't you forget that! I suppose ditching the Sayian race wasn't enough, was it? Now you're going to become a cartoon character instead! Well let me tell you something, you'll never fit in with the likes of cartoons, so just forget that idea!"
"No, no." Goku replied sweat dropping, "You got it all wrong."
Vegeta was no talking like one of those ladies in the classic films that are in black and white. "No…*sob*…you're the one that's got it wrong. Your one of us." He switched back to normal. "If we were cartoon characters…" he trailed off and turned around.
"Huh?" Goku asked rather puzzled.
Vegeta turned back around and Goku screamed.
"If we were cartoon characters we wouldn't have such big loveable eyes." he pointed to his now smaller eyes. Vegeta pointed to his rather crudely drawn hair, "Just think of Bulma's hair as any other color but blue, or what about Trunks?" he asked.
From the door Goten elbowed Trunks. The purple haired boy glared at his friend.
"Our unique hairstyles wouldn't exist!" Vegeta pointed to his out of proportioned face, "On top of everything, all shading and real qualities would be lost!"
Goku screamed again before Vegeta let his features go back to normal.
Goku slowly stopped hyperventilating. "Still, not as bad as what the American censors have done."
Vegeta sighed. "If they could have their way I'd be a cute, adorable Sayian out to spread good."
Both full blooded Sayians shivered at the thought. The two half Sayians giggled.
Vegeta stood up straight and tall (which wasn't very tall at all really), "We have to stop the oppression!" he said, "We must fight for our families, for what we believe in, for the right to bleed!"
Goku looked at Vegeta in confusion, "But we do bleed. In the Frieza saga, remember?"
"Well…" Vegeta began again, "Then we must fight…er…for our voices…yeah, that's it!"
"I dunno, I'm pretty happy with mine." Goku replied.
"Yeah, because you're a cartoon character!" Vegeta yelled powering up.
"Hey! I am NOT a cartoon character!" Goku protested but powered up.
The two half Sayians ran for cover.
*****
"Vegeta!" Bulma shrieked seeing half of Capsule Corp. ruined. "What happened?"
END
Actually, I'm glad Funi is dubbing DBZ even if they coulda done it a bit better. Still, I'm sure all us fans were pleasantly surprised with blood in the third season. :)