Big dialogue chapter ahead. I try to keep it as fluid as possible, but sometimes it's hard to do. Hopefully it's easy to follow! Any questions, just mention it in a review or PM me and I'll try to address it!

And big shout out to everyone who reviewed, that little mailbox on my phone e-mail makes me smile!

Reunions
Chapter 4
There's Beauty in a Breakdown

Santana wasn't sure what to expect at this point. Brittany still hadn't started talking, but she refused to say another word until the blonde got her thoughts together. So she waited, in true Santana fashion, for Brittany to begin her story. She didn't know if she really wanted to hear the details, but there was a piece of her who needed to hear it all. A part of her that needed to take in every freaking minor detail, analyze the shit out of it, and then store it away to be analyzed again another day.

Both women were sitting Indian style of Santana's bed, facing each other; Santana by the headboard, leaning against the wall and playing with a loose string on the comforter while Brittany fingered the edge of the pillow in her lap. San was starting to get impatient and the tension rolling off of her wasn't making it any easier for Brittany to begin telling her story.

Brittany's hair was falling around her face, concealing herself from the brunette's steady gaze. It was something she had learned in college; keep your head down and your eyes focused on something else and you'll get by. But she knew the girl sitting across from her could see right through the defense mechanism and she decided it was time to do what she came here to do. She took another deep breath and looked up at Santana and the weight of her stare almost made her regret even trying to patch things up.

There was so much hurt and anger boiling behind the brunette's perfectly calm façade; Britt wasn't sure if she could even convince her of anything, but she knew she had to try. She knew that for the sake of them both, she had to try. And trying wasn't something Brittany had felt like doing in a long time. It made her feel tired before even starting, but another look at Santana gave her enough strength to begin.

"How much do you already know?" She asked Santana; she didn't want to be repetitive in her story because even if they hadn't spoken in ten years, she knew she still talked to Quinn and she wasn't sure how much had been shared.

Santana laughed a little while shaking her head from side to side, "I don't know anything. After Quinn moved there with you and she refused to give me anything, I decided that I wasn't going to ask anymore. And I guess you two became allies because she never spoke of you to me after that. I think she knew better…"

She trailed off, trying desperately to keep the bitterness out of her voice, but she forgot who she was talking to. Brittany could hear a change in her voice better than she could, and the look of frustration that passed over Britt's features was enough to make her ask the blonde a question.

"What did you think? That people were feeding me information about you and I just ignored it? That I gave up on you after you left?" She was getting angry now, but before it could reach a boiling point, there was a tap on the door and her mom walked in with two cups of coffee.

"I figured you girls could use one of these." She said as she handed each a mug, trying to act as nonchalant as possible. "Let me know if you need anything you two."

"Thanks Mrs. Lopez." Brittany responded with a smile, taking a grateful sip of the hot drink and willing it to give her the nerve she needed to finish this conversation. She then felt a set of arms wrap around her and a murmur in her ear, "Don't you start that 'Mrs. Lopez' stuff with me missy. It's still Mom #2 to you, and don't you forget it." Brittany squeezed her eyes closed at Annette's words, the older woman not realizing how much it meant to the girl in her arms for saying that. It gave Brittany hope that she still had a fighting chance to right some of her wrongs.

When Mrs. Lopez, ah-hm, when Mom #2 , left the room, the small amount of hopefulness seemed to leave with her.

"She always liked you best." Santana said softly, eyeing the girl across from her, "Even after we came out to her, she could never hold it against you. She never got mad at you."

"Like mother like daughter…" Brittany whispered, mostly to herself. It was true though. Santana could never hold anything against Brittany, she could never get mad. She glanced up and caught the whisper of a smile on Santana's face before it vanished just as quickly and Brittany realized that that theory was about to be put to the test.

"And to answer your question, no, I never thought you'd give up." Brittany said, "That's why I left the way that I did. I knew that if I told you I needed to leave, you would do everything you could to get me to stay, or try to come with me." Even though Brittany had written these words in her last letter, she felt like she needed to explain herself further.

"I was so scared San," she confessed, staring into brown orbs that still held every ounce of misery and mistrust in their depths, "I was scared that I had lost myself when we became a couple, because it had been about you for so long. We were so worried about your reputation, about your parents, about what people would think of you. I never stopped and thought about what I wanted or how I felt, and when I finally did, my selfishness won. I wanted things to be about me, and even though that makes me a terrible person, I just felt like it was the right thing to do, you know? And it's not your fault, that's not what I'm saying, I really truly believed that I would be in your shadow forever because I had you on a pedestal so high, I didn't think I could even reach you. I never thought I was good enough for you."

She looked at her hands after this confession, unable to say more because her throat was slowly closing up on her. She didn't realize she was crying until she saw a tear drop hit the pillow case, causing the color to darken with the salty stain. She rubbed furiously at her eyes, willing herself to stop crying, but the gesture was fruitless; the tears she wiped away were quickly replaced with fresh ones.

"I never thought I was smart enough, or pretty enough, or rich enough, or anything else." She continued, "I never felt 100% worthy to be standing next to you, to be holding your hand; and I guess my irrational side took over and I ran."

Brittany looked up and saw the confusion in Santana's features; the way she had her bottom lip tucked into the side of her mouth and the way her eyebrows were furrowed so deeply it caused worry lines to form on her forehead. She wanted to reach forward and smooth out the lines, but she knew it wouldn't be a good idea to touch the Latina, so she continued gripping the pillow and waiting for some type of response.

"You still haven't answered my first question." Santana said gruffly, trying hard to ignore the guilty feeling in her chest after hearing Brittany's confession. I refuse to feel bad for her right now… I might have messed up, but right now this is on her. She thought as she took in Brittany's now confused face; she decided to elaborate. "What have you been doing for ten years? You know what, first, I'll tell you what I've been doing. It can be done in a nut shell really."

She didn't want to become her bitter old self, but something in the atmosphere of the room was causing it to reemerge and she decided not to stop now.

"Did you know I drove to New York that day?" Santana said; the shocked look on B's face told her she hadn't known that. "I stayed there for three days looking for you, calling you, leaving you voicemails saying I was there. And I got no response, not one. Do you know what that's like? Waiting by a phone praying that it rings?"

The tears were threatening to fall down Santana's face, but she pushed them back, refusing to give in to them. "Then one day, I tried to call you and it said your phone was disconnected. So I drove back to Lima. I stayed here for a year, just moping around my parent's house and occasionally calling your mom hoping she would let something slip."

This news seemed like a slap in the face to Britt, whose mom had never told her that Santana was calling and trying to find her. But, after thinking it through, Brittany knew that her mom was just following her wishes. She had told her not to tell San where she was, for both of their sakes, and obviously her mom had kept that promise.

"I drove to New York 7 different times that year; just going to different shows at NYU and Julliard, hoping to see you somewhere. I never did. You just kind of disappeared, and the last time I went there was in the fall of 2013. I was starting school at Indiana University and I knew I wouldn't be able to go back to New York for a long time. I walked around the city for a week, praying I'd find you, but I never did. On the drive home I made a vow to never look for you again, and I haven't, and will never, ever break that promise to myself. "

She was serious about that promise. Never again would she look for Brittany or beg her to stay. She had spent too many nights praying for her to come back to her, and she refused to put herself through that again.

Brittany also realized the weight of such a promise. Santana wasn't necessarily saying she had given up, but she was not going to chase her anymore. She wasn't going to stop living her life if Brittany disappeared again; and the fact that 10 years ago Santana would have done anything to hang on to her, well, it broke her heart more to know that she no longer had that type of hold on the woman she loved.

"Maybe I should just go…" Brittany said, slowly pushing herself up off the bed and heading for the door.

"Sit down." Santana said sternly; she refused to let Brittany leave without giving her side of everything. She refused to let the next ten years go by without something close to closure. And, even if she didn't want to admit it to herself, she couldn't stand the thought of not seeing the blonde woman again.

Brittany wasn't sure if it was a request or a command, but the simple fact that Santana still wanted her there made her feet move forward and bring her back to the bed, placing herself back into her original position.

"So anyway," Santana continued as if the story had not been interrupted. "I went to Indiana University and started working toward a pre-law degree. I was bored so I tried out for the cheerleading team, and between that and school, my last couple years of college flew by. I got my law degree and got on at a firm I was interning at right after I graduated. I only stayed there for a little while before I opened my own place."

Brittany noticed how low Santana's voice had gotten at the mention of her old firm, like she was hiding something or leaving a piece of information out. Brittany wanted to know and she could tell Santana was going to skip over it, so she interrupted her.

"Why did you leave?" It was a whisper from the blonde, and Santana knew she had been caught. She didn't want to reveal the actual reason as to why she left her old firm, because it would probably only hurt Brittany, but since she asked, and since Santana was never able to lie, she continued.

"I was having an affair with one of the other lawyers." She saw Brittany flinch at the mention of Santana being with someone else. Deep down it hurt San to see her hurt, but it also gave her a bit of satisfaction to know that it was affecting her. "She was married and her husband found out. She was technically my boss, so she told me to either quit or be fired, so I left. I begged my parents to help me buy a spot in a strip mall in Indianapolis and I called a few friends from college and we all went into it together. We've only been going for a little over a year, but, it's paying the bills and we're getting more clients every day, so I guess it was the right move."

She drifted off, her story now complete. She knows it was boring, with only the little bit of drama, but it was her life. She had put everything she had into making her life as uneventful as possible, and after recapping it, she knew she had succeeded.

Brittany, on the other hand, wasn't satisfied. She wanted to know details; she wanted to know how Santana spent her summers and her spring breaks, she wanted to know what her friends were like, and even if she didn't want to hear it, she wanted to know if she had dated anyone or if she was currently seeing anyone. These were the things she wanted to know, but it was evident that the brunette was playing her cards close to her chest and she wasn't going to lay them all out for the blonde to see just yet.

"So now you know what I've been doing for the last few years, what about y-" Santana was cut off by the blondes' urgent whisper.

"Did you date anyone? Are you seeing anyone now?" The questions flew out of Brittany's mouth before she could stop herself. She had to know. She had to know if someone else held the heart of the woman across from her.

Santana was taken aback by the questions and she wasn't sure if this was something she wanted to talk about right now. But even after ten years, one look into blue eyes flattened her resolve, and she answered before even realizing it.

"I messed around..." She stated nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders a bit and catching the flash of agony that passed through Brittany's eyes, "I dated a couple of girls in college, but they were all so needy, so clingy, and I couldn't deal with it."

She looked up, intentionally catching hold of the blue eyed gaze before continuing, "I guess once you've had a taste of perfection, everything else just pales in comparison." She realized how corny that actually sounded coming out of her mouth, but Brittany's reaction was enough to make the self-consciousness and her small blush disappear.

Brittany broke into a wide grin, unable to hide how happy those words made her. It was the silver lining in a cloud covered sky for Brittany to hear those words. It made her feel like her world was becoming whole again; those little words out of Santana's mouth were enough to make her feel whole again.

"What about you?" San asked, her voice smaller than normal. In truth, Santana wasn't sure if she really wanted to know, but she figured if they were on the subject, they might as well get it out there. She noticed Brittany shake her head side to side a little, and she thought she wasn't going to answer, when in reality, that was her answer.

"I haven't dated anyone since you…" Brittany trailed off, her cheeks flushing pink. "I convinced myself I was too busy with work to date anyone, but, I don't think that was the reason…"

She could feel Santana's eyes on her, willing her to say the words, but she couldn't. Not yet. There was still so much they needed to talk about, and admitting that she hadn't dated anyone because she was slowly dying inside without the girl across from her wasn't something to reveal after ten years of separation.

They sat in silence for several minutes, both avoiding any eye contact with one another. Finally, Santana took a deep breath and asked again, "Where have you been B?"

The way she said the words made Brittany's heart break. When she looked up, her heart broke more to see how small the strongest person she had ever known looked at that moment. They held the look for a long minute, neither trying to hide all of the emotions in their eyes that, up until now, had been trapped behind vacant stares.

0o0o0o0o

It was raining on the first day of class at NYU. She had a couple of general courses that were required, but she had signed up for two dance classes as well. Her English and History classes would probably be the end of her because she had never really learned any of that stuff in High School, and without anyone there to help her, she wasn't sure how she would survive it.

Her two dance classes were the high light of her day. She got to be free of everything for a few precious hours and she lived for the moments when the music would start and her thoughts would stop. Not thinking was her only option.

0o0o0o0o

Quinn moved to New York that spring and started taking classes at NYU with Brittany. She was getting a Business degree because she had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. She and Britt got an apartment together right after the end of freshman year and made the decision that it was them against the world; Brittany was going to quit school and start dancing professionally and Quinn was going to finish school and get a big girl job.

The conversation of quitting school with her parents was not an easy one, but she knew it was the right thing to do.

"Mom," she practically whined into the phone, "I'm literally failing all of my non-dance classes, there's no point in me continuing when I can't even keep the grades."

"But honey," her mom replied while her dad grumbled in the background, "Maybe if you tried a little harder or got a tutor or something. Santana was always able to-"

"I already dropped out." She deadpanned. Hearing that name for the first time out loud almost made her knees give out and she needed to get off the phone before she broke down. "I'll call you later." And she hung up.

Quinn found her three hours later sitting on the kitchen floor, clutching an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand and a silver charm bracelet in the other.

0o0o0o0o

Her first agent tryout was her only agent tryout. She barely got through the number before Greg Collins walked on stage and offered her a contract. He was an up and coming agent, already making a name for himself by being the agent for both the Glinda and Elphaba understudies for Wicked, along with several other dancers and actors in the business.

She signed on the dotted line and a few months later she was dancing around with Rachel Berry on stage for Mamma Mia!. It was almost winter break of 2013, and thank god for all that is Broadway, because she only got a couple of days off from the show before she had to be back. Quinn had offered to fly her home with her, but Brittany refused, saying she needed to relax on her days off before starting the show again.

I mean, Chinese takeout for Christmas isn't so bad, right?

0o0o0o0o

She got her big break the following fall; a full time dancer for Janet Jackson's comeback tour. She didn't think she would get it, but after being referred by several different instructors and dancers on and off Broadway, she was given the job.

She packed up and for the next two years, she was in New York a handful of times. She still paid half the rent for her and Q's apartment because she knew it was the right thing to do, but sometimes she wished it was just her so she didn't have to check in with anyone. It was the selfish side of her that had made her leave Lima in the first place that was resurfacing, and it was the first time her and Q had a fight.

"It's not my fault you chose to do this tour Brittany!" Quinn yelled back at her, completely exasperated that B would even pick a fight about anything, especially the rent. "What in the hell is your problem?"

"What's my problem? My problem is that I'm paying rent for a place I don't even stay at! I've been here a total of 10 nights in almost two years, and still I'm shelling out half the rent and its bullshit!" Brittany screamed back, but her anger was already cooling. She didn't know where this was coming from and she knew she needed to stop it because it wasn't the girl in front of hers fault.

"I'm not Santana Brittany! You can't get pissed and just take it out on me!" Quinn covered her mouth right after the words escaped. She immediately rushed to the dejected looking girl's side and pulled her into a hug. "I swore to myself I would never do that to you. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry…"

Brittany wasn't sure what to think. She was in shock, because Q had been her person the last few years. The person that looked out for her and even when she was gone, would check in on her to make sure she was doing ok. But she hugged her back, not because she accepted the apology, but because she knew that the girl in her arms was all she had left.

0o0o0o0o

Spring 2017

Quinn graduated from NYU with honors, which didn't surprise Britt at all. Every night she'd come home to find the girl asleep on her books or writing furiously in a notebook, so seeing Quinn with that extra sash on her graduation gown made perfect sense.

That spring, Quinn had also met a new guy. His name was Andy, and in Brittany's eyes, he was the worst thing but also the best thing to ever happen to her best friend. She might not know a lot, but she knows people, and she could see by the way he looked at Quinn that they were meant to be. It was that same doe eyed goofy grin that she used to get when Santana walked into a room.

She fooled most into thinking that she was ok, but Quinn knew better. She could tell that every day was a struggle for Brittany to get out of bed and go to work. And when Andy came into their lives, she could see Brittany slowly becoming a robot; just going through the motions and trying to act supportive for Quinn's sake when all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. It might sound bad, but it killed her to know that she could have had that type of happiness, and she felt even worse for resenting Quinn for having it when she didn't.

This was another of many nights when Quinn found Brittany, this time on the bathroom floor, clutching a different bottle of alcohol in one hand, the same charm bracelet in the other.

Quinn called Santana that night, whom had been at a raging party by the sounds of it, and begged her to come to New York. The only response from the other end of the phone was an old school rap song, then finally she heard Santana yell over the noise, "What Q? I can't hear you! I'll call you back! Love you! Bye!"

She never called back.

This was the night Quinn saw the last of the light leave Brittany's eyes.

0o0o0o0o

Brittany wasn't sure what had changed in the following two years, but she threw herself into her work. She was either auditioning or practicing, living the life of a dancer in New York; sometimes barely scraping by with the rent money while Quinn continued to rake in the cash. Brittany would never be able to repay Quinn for the times she had spotted her money during this time in her life, but she knew that she would do anything for her hazel eyed roommate.

She had considered stripping for money; she knew she had the dance skills and the body to pull it off, and she would probably make a killing if she got into the right clubs. But after running the idea by Quinn, who practically screamed the word 'NO!' at her, she decided to try and get on with another tour.

And she got lucky.

Like, Gaga Lucky.

And the next year and a half was nothing but a whisper of lace and satin.

0o0o0o0o

Fall 2020

Quinn and Andy got engaged and moved in together, deciding it was time to find a place of their own. It was a good thing Quinn was a powerhouse real estate agent because they got a bangin' place in SoHo that some would kill for. The day that Q's stuff was all out was the day Brittany let herself fall apart. It had been eight years of having someone take care of her if she needed it. Someone to look out for her, make sure she ate breakfast, make sure she had all her clothes on before she left the apartment, and right now, sitting in Quinn's empty bedroom, she felt like she had nothing.

She looked around at the vacant walls and decided to turn the place into her own private dance studio. It was small, but it would work. She bought a bunch of cheap mirrors from an old department store that was going out of business and arranged them around the room. She was pretty proud of herself after seeing the results, and for the first time in almost a decade, she danced for herself.

She grabbed a bottle of water and her iPod dock and walked into the converted room, setting both down on a chair and hitting play. She smiled, like genuinely smiled, when she heard the song that began to play and for the first time since she could remember, she felt hopeful about where her life was going.

0o0o0o0o

Fall 2021

She hadn't checked her mail in almost a week; something else that she had deemed a 'Quinn Activity' and decided since she was thinking about it, she might as well grab it. She threw it down on the counter before leaving again; needing to get to the theatre early to go over some new choreography they had changed the previous day.

She was now the lead dancer in Wicked, which meant she was in charge of the entire ensemble and their dance moves. Even though the show had been running for almost 18 years, there were still new dancers to train and some minor changes in choreography from time to time. She got to perform on a nightly basis with Rachel, who, regardless of her old opinion of the girl, turned out to be a total sweetheart.

They could be seen having drinks after a show or arriving together after brunch in Manhattan. Quinn tagged along on some of these excursions and the three became close friends, to many people's surprise. It was at one of these outings when the Reunion was brought up. Brittany was shocked by this news and after thinking about it more, about the amount of time that had actually passed since she last stepped foot in her home town. And after getting genuinely upset for not even knowing about it, she then realized that she had yet to sift through the last few weeks' worth of mail, which probably held the invitation.

She was in her own world, thinking about all of the possible scenarios that could unfold if she went home, when she felt Quinn's hand on her leg, looking at her with half fearful and half sympathetic eyes.

"Are you gonna go?" She asked, unsure of the reaction she was going to get from the blue eyed blonde.

Brittany surprised her when she looked up with a glint in her eye, one that Quinn hadn't seen in many years.

"Yes."

0o0o0o0o

"I feel like it was all such a blur," Brittany said shakily, "just a bunch of uneventful events that took me from one place to another…"

Santana wasn't sure what to think. They had been sitting for well over two hours, their mugs now empty, and her head full of more questions for the girl across from her. They had barely looked at each other during the story and it only seemed to be getting more awkward as the silence dragged on between them. Out of nowhere, Santana remembered the question that had been on her mind after hearing a particular part of Brittany's tale.

"What was the song?" She asked, glancing up and noticing the confusion on Brittany's face, "You know, the song you danced to in your make shift dance studio? You said it made you feel better; what was the song?"

Brittany grinned a little, the memory still fresh in her mind after retelling her story. She wasn't sure if she wanted to say, knowing Santana's view of all things Journey, but she couldn't help but give in and hope the Latina didn't laugh at her… too much.

"Don't Stop Believing." She stated, trying very hard not to laugh a little herself, but Santana did enough laughing for the both of them. She burst out laughing, partially from exhaustion but mostly because, go figure, it would be a frickin' Journey song.

"You're joking right?" She barked out in between bursts of laughter, tears streaming down her face. After seeing Brittany nod a little, she laughed even harder, unable to control it.

For Brittany, that laugh was like music to her ears. She hadn't heard it in ten very long years, and right now she was basking in all of its greatness. Santana's laugh was contagious, and it made her all warm and fuzzy inside to hear it again. In fact, it was making her laugh, like really laugh, and she hadn't felt this light, she was certain, since before the day she left Lima at 18.

After both took a couple of deep breaths to quiet their child-like laughter, silence returned, but it wasn't awkward like before; it actually felt ok. Both women noticed the change, and neither could deny that it felt good to be this comfortable around one another. But before anything else could be said, Brittany's phone was ringing from her purse.

She hopped off the bed and gave the screen a small smile before answering. Santana couldn't help but feel the tingle in her body watching Brittany get comfortable in her desk chair. She was swiveling around in it and answering the caller's questions without adding much on her end of the conversation. Santana was finding herself enthralled by the little quirks that she remembered about Britt, the ones she was witnessing now.

The way she would bite on her lip when she wasn't sure how to answer a particular question, or the way her eyebrows went up when something interesting was said, and the way she picked at the ends of her hair when the conversation was boring her. She couldn't help the smile from creeping onto her face when seeing all of these small things again, and when Brittany swiveled around and caught her eye in the mirror, she gave her a quick wink before going back to her conversation.

It probably should have bothered Santana that the blonde was on the phone during this epic conversation, but she could tell by the line of answers that it was a work call, so she didn't interrupt. She just continued watching the woman in front of her slowly turn back into the 17 year old girl that she fell in love with.

I know, a lot of dialogue, but I hope you like the way I did Brittany's story. I wanted to go back in time, not just have her speak the whole damn thing.

To the reviewer who begged me to not put them together right away; we are on the same line of thought. I'm not going to give anything away, but no, they won't be having crazy sex or dropping 'I Love You' any time soon. Sorry, if that's what you want by the next chapter, you might as well wait a few more updates.

Just keepin' it real… ;)

Let me know what you think! Oh, and Journey reference, just couldn't help myself! :)

xoxo-Kat