** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1
Too little too late 4/?
Pulling his car into Jean Innocent's driveway Robbie killed the engine feeling his heart sink a little as he saw her car but not James's. It had been three days since Laura had dropped her bomb shell and in that time she seemed to have gone actively out of her way to avoid him. He and James had finally closed the case that had caused him to fail in what he was now sure was a test from her and now he needed help. He needed someone to tell him if he should let her go or fight for her, someone who would be logical and reasoned about it and who would give it to him straight no matter what that meant. That person was James and after going to his place and finding it deserted he'd assumed he'd be at Jean's where he seemed to spend most of his time, but it didn't look like he was. About to start the car and pull away again he saw his boss glance out the window her eyes narrowing quizzically as she did.
"Damn now you're going to have to explain why you were here. Nice on Lewis ever heard of a phone?" He muttered, lifting his hand in an acknowledging wave before getting out and heading for the front door.
"Robbie, you realise it's Friday night and we are all off for the first weekend in nearly two months please tell me you aren't here because something has happened that's going to spoil that." Jean smiled as she opened the door and stood aside waving her hand indicating that he should come in.
"No ma'am I was just looking for James, wondered if he fancied a pint but since his car's not here I assume he isn't either, I'll not take up your evening I'll…."
"You can come in Robbie I was joking and something's obviously bothering you. James has just nipped out to meet up with one of the other guys that he's playing with at the open mike night on Sunday night he'll be back any minute then I'm sure he'll want to go for a pint come in and wait."
"Don't you two have…you know plans for the evening or whatever, like you said ma'am it's not like weekend's off have been a frequent occurrence lately." Robbie sighed walking through the house to the living room wishing that he had just pretended he didn't see her watching and driven off. He'd been in the house a few times in the years they'd worked together but he'd never remembered it looking as relaxed and homely as it did right then. There was a fire lit in the old Victorian fireplace and the coffee table was covered with piles of sheet music that James had obviously been working on before he went out. He'd wondered, if he was honest, how the lives of his two rather up tight colleagues would combine and now he realised he'd not predicted correctly at all. The room exuded warmth and happiness the sort that he'd often thought his home would have if Laura ever became a regular visitor and even the way his boss curled up in the corner of the sofa after handing him a beer and retrieving the glass of wine she'd left on the table told him that she was happy. He'd not seen her happy, properly happy, for a long time before she and James became an item and he couldn't help but feel a little jealous.
"We off duty Robbie will you stop calling me ma'am and all we had planned was a quiet night with him getting ready for his gig and me trying to battle through the last few chapters of the world's most boring novel so you're not interrupting anything." Jean smiled watching as he stared at the top of his beer bottle for a second and she could tell he was doing battle inside his own head. She already had an idea what it was he wanted to talk to James about but if he didn't want to broach the subject with her she was going to have to find a very careful way of getting it out of him.
"Sounds like the perfect Friday night. I'm happy for you both I don't think I've said that since…well you know since you two got together."
"Thank you, James was worried about telling you in the beginning I think he thought you'd disapprove but he didn't break up my marriage Robbie it was over and Richard had moved out long before anything happened between us."
"I know, why the hell would he be worried about telling me it's none of my business what you two….." Robbie laughed the words stopping in his throat as he realised she was serious. If he was honest he had judged them at the start but only until Laura had pointed out that not being together made them miserable and if he cared about them both he should just accept things as they were. The memory of the night she'd scolded him for his selfishness then reminded him that he wasn't a bad person just a misguided one at times only made what was happening now even more difficult. "Do you know Laura is thinking of leaving?"
"Yes I do." Jean replied the simple truth of her statement making him realise why he'd said it even though he'd been determined that he would only discuss it with James not her. When it came to things in black and white Jean Innocent did it like no one he'd ever met, she could cut through the bullshit in any situation and point to the one thing everyone else was missing. Not only that but while he believed her when she said she and James hadn't given in to their feelings while she was still with her husband he also believed that it wasn't because those feelings weren't there so maybe she might have some insight into unrequited love and how to deal with it. "How do you feel about that? Dublin's a long way away Robbie, it's not like she'll be popping back for weekends."
"I don't see that I have any right to feel any way about it; other than happy for her of course. She's worked hard she deserves recognition for it."
"Well said Robbie, I couldn't agree more, now do you want to give me the real answer rather than the official one?"
"I bet James gets away with nothing with you." Robbie laughed sinking back into the chair and sighing heavily as Jean raised a questioning eyebrow at him.
"It's been a long time since either of you have gotten away with anything with me Robbie you'd do well to remember that." She replied setting her wine glass down and titling her head staring at him in a way that made him feel like she was reading his mind without him even having to speak. "I know how you feel about Laura but I also know that you have issues that mean you might never be able to have the sort of relationship she would like. The question is what do you do now? Do you accept that you can never be the man she needs and let her go or do you decide you're going to set aside all the baggage that comes from the death of your wife and be with her? You know she's going in the morning to look at property in Dublin and on Monday morning she has a meeting with the Dean of the college to discuss terms and formally accept the post? Once that's done and the wheels are in motion she'll be gone in a matter of weeks."
"I didn't know, she told me she had till the end of the week I thought she was still thinking about it."
"No I didn't think you did. Look if you want my advice, for what it's worth, you can still stop this. You can still say the right things and make her stay but if you do that then make sure you are prepared to make good on the promises you make because if she gives this up and you don't then there'll be no coming back for your relationship. Accept how you feel and make it work or accept that you never will and let her go and get over you."
"You know what I don't think I'll wait for James, I need to think rather than talk now. Thanks for the beer and for…you know, not flannelling me and laying it out, that's what I hoped James would do but I should have known for complete honesty you've always been the best person to come to." Robbie smiled setting the untouched beer down on the coffee table and heading for the door giving Jean a gentle hug before leaving again as she watched him get into the car and drive away.
"He's gone, you can come out." She said quietly when she'd closed the door. "Did you hear any of that?"
"Don't you think you were a little blunt?" Laura asked emerging from the kitchen as Jean laughed softly.
"No I think I was very gentle if I'd been being blunt I'd have told him he was being a fucking idiot and you should just go and not waste any more time on him if he can't even tell you how he feels when he's faced with losing you."
"Didn't he ask about the second wine glass?"
"He probably assumed it was James's." Jean replied leading the way back into the living room as Laura followed not sure if the exchange she'd heard between her friend and Robbie had made her feel better or worse. When Jean had seen the car pull into the driveway and told her it was him she'd immediately panicked before being shoved unceremoniously into the kitchen and told to sit tight. Now that Robbie knew her plans for the weekend she couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing. If tonight and tomorrow passed without any word from him before she left it would be yet another disappointment but if he did chase her, tell her to stay, could she ever really trust that things would change? Ultimately Jean had put the ball firmly back in his court for her and she wasn't sure how she wanted him to lob it back.