In the late evening, I was on my knees with Azula's hands loosely in mine. She insisted on the kneeling; I insisted on the apologizing first. Today could not have gone more awry, and I would blame Azula for most of the problems if they were not actually my fault this time.

She was not perfect, but I was far from perfect too.

So, I was on my knees, trying to explain to her that I wished I could take what I did back.

"I never meant the things I said," I humbly whispered. I tried my best to be truly apologetic, because I really, really was sorry.

I didn't know that Azula could cry until right now. At least, except at the times she had lost it, but I really had avoided her at that time. Of course, the princess hid it at all costs, but I discovered what I had done and my stomach twisted with remorse for hours and hours.

"Of course you did. You have no grasp on manners," Azula icily replied, playing powerful, and I played along. It was her game, after all.

We first fall in love on the beach. There were feelings before that, maybe even long before that, but this was the moment that I knew I was so in love with her.

The two of us were on the sand. I was drenched and it stuck to my swimsuit, which I had noticed she didn't really take her eyes off of, but I wasn't going to ask. I thought maybe she was just uncomfortable with anyone giving me attention but her.

But was that romance or was that crazy?

I've never been an expert at words or anything. I was drawing in the sand and she faked disinterest, studying her nails. I wished she was looking, but it was more for my benefit. I hated silence, and we were alone together late at night with not much to say.

I've also never been an expert at drawing. I made a star, a cute little smiley face, another cute little smiley face, another cute little smiley face, and then a heart.

My heart was racing faster than it ever had before.

I saw it as a chance to do more than hint, stare and wait. Azula was risky, of course, but I was a risk-taking type of person. It was really my idea of the most romantic thing ever at the time; I scratched our names into the sand.

"What is that?" Azula asked, proving she had been watching me the whole entire time.

"Oh, I think these things are so cute when people do stuff like this and they're cuter carved into trees but sand is nice too!" I babbled through a bright, wide smile. The shadows of the night made it completely impossible to read her expression, and the stark moonlight made her look sinster. More sinister than usual, at least.

"You are supposed to do those for your romantic interest," Azula said, and I knew I was doomed. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that.

"What if I told you that you were – or that I was – that I am interested in you? What would you say? I mean, not to demand it, of course, princess. I l – you're a good awesome friend – we can just stay friends. Best friends—"

"Be quiet. You're giving me a headache," Azula ordered. There was something different about her voice, but I was too overwhelmed to think about it. "You are. . . interested in me?"

"Yes," I dared to say, still smiling from fear.

"Oh." Azula looked like there was a war going on behind her eyes. "The feeling is mutual."

That was clearly hard for her to say, and I couldn't be more overjoyed.

"So, you're interested in me? Because I'm in love with you," I said, my voice much too high-pitched.

She could not say those words back to me, I knew. I stared at her lips, even though I learned last night that Azula was not the most romantically adept person.

But she got the hint.

She kissed me.

Years after, Azula and I had broken each other's hearts one too many times to maintain those feelings. I did not know if we would ever feel the same way again. We were younger. Everything was less complicated.

"Do you remember when we wrote out names in the sand and—" I couldn't finish because Azula scoffed and acted like it was an annoyance.

I could not have done this so easily – upset her like that. I knew she was unstable but Azula always found a way to push me out when all I wanted was in. I wanted Azula to open up to me, but neither of us had any plans to do anything about it. It seemed hopeless.

"You came close. I will give you that," Azula said, feigned sympathy in her golden eyes. They were so pretty that I could get lost in them, but now they just made me angry.

I frowned, then realized I was frowning and stopped. I wished that this would be easier.

"I don't know why you're even still talking to me. Don't you kick most people out by now?" I whispered. Azula smirked.

"Your apologies entertain me, I have to say," Azula remarked as she combed her hair with her fingers. "Maybe I'll let you stay if…."

"If?" I breathlessly asked. Oh, I should not be giving her this kind of power. But I needed to lose to win in this case.

"If you beg," Azula said, and I should have expected it. There was an evil smirk on her lips and I fought super hard not to roll my eyes and walk away.

I held back a sigh and took Azula's hands in mine. My knees were sore at this point, but I forced myself to stay kneeling. I held onto Azula's clammy mitts with my sticky paws and I was startled that she did not pull away.

"Please let me stay another day. I'm sorry that I invaded – tried to invade – your walls too fast. I…" I did not say the three words I was thinking.

Azula did not deserve my love. Not yet, at least.