final chapter. this chapter my cousin wanted to do and she's never bothered so be nice on this last chapter : ) 's trying to get an A level in english at college. so please tell us what you think : )

thanks for reading

I'm not used to this, being a parent on my own, without the love of my life.

Every one is still giving me those glances, like they don't know what to say.

It's been a few weeks since your funeral, and I have so many frozen casseroles in the house it really is unbelievable, every person I know has been round with food.

I mean, what is their problem?

I CAN cook, I have a gorgeous baby girl to look after, and I'm not going to let myself fall apart now, not ever.

I still have to be strong, and I will.

It's been busy at work, but I refuse to stop.

I know that you, my one true love will have wanted the best possible start for our daughters life, and I am going to give her every damn thing that she wants.

I know I will never forget you.

Jen is now one year old, and for the past two weeks I have cried every single hour, of every single day.

Her nanny takes her to a baby group while I work now so she has a chance to socialize; I know you wanted her to start learning early.

She can almost walk on her own, and I'm quite shocked that she already pulls Abby's plaits like reins on a horse while she rides on her back, Jen is one of those good children, she never cries in shops, and always keeps everyone entertained.

I think she would be a brilliant actress, only a year old and she still manages to capture everyone's attention.

Ziva had some time off work, but she's back now, and she spends all of her spare time with Jen, she picks her up from the nanny, and takes time off work when the nanny calls in sick.

Her cuts and marks on her body have mostly cleared up now; at least there haven't been any fresh ones for a few months.

Tony is supporting her, and even though he quite often drives me crazy, I must admit, he is doing a good job.

I've taken so many pictures of the team with Jen, I've somehow managed to cram about five years worth of memories into a year, and today, Jen and I left an album at your grave, I know how much you would love it.

When we were talking about having a baby, I remember when we said we would have to get used to all those crappy kids cartoons that are about as funny as jumping off a cliff, but our baby girl loves watching those documentaries that we always used to, animals in the wild etc.

She especially loves wolves, so I might get a dog for the little angel when she's a bit older, but I know she might have a different reaction to a real live dog to the ones on TV.

I'm going to take Jen on holiday next year, I was thinking Spain or France, somewhere that you and I went, I want to show her all the reasons I fell in love with you, and all the places we shared our lives.

I wish that you were still here, so we could all go, the three of us, maybe on a cruise, show our little girl the world.

Someone said I was spoiling her but why shouldn't I?

Jen is our child, and I want her to know as much about you as possible, and I want her to learn in her own way about right and wrong and hard work.

What kind of a parent wouldn't teach their child that, in the most fun way possible?

Jen is ten years old, and every night, I still tell her a bedtime story about you.

We've just got back from a weekend trip to South Africa, which was her idea, she saw on the television the under privileged children, and demanded that we go and spend some time there.

She made a lot of friends, and before she even asked me, she promised her new friends that one day we would go back.

I hope you're proud of our daughter, she has your heart, and your soul, and everyday, she reminds me of you.

thanks for reading hope you liked it : ) don't forget to review : )