Okay so I finally did a very needed edition of my previous chapters. Hopefully not as dreadful in terms of typos.

Thank you all for the reviews. I was afraid of what the reaction would be, but hopefully you'll continue to enjoy this.

I'm glad that you find refreshing the idea of their first time not being romantic and lovey dovey. I promise to keep like that, and try to make them as real and truthful to just plain teenagers. I want to run wild with this idea of how this situation could be maintained and what the consequences would be.

So, without further ado...

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"Bella, Bella, wake up!" I woke up to a fully dressed Edward shaking me. I had dreaded morning for what it would mean. I feared that it would be awkward or worse, that we would have a heart to heart about what had happened, or pretended that it was nothing at all. But seeing his face as usual, I was certain that things were the same. I felt we could still be us, and that we shouldn't pretend nothing had happened.

"Aren't you post-coital happy?" I said smiling and squinting my eyes.

"Yeah. You don't look too scarred for life either. Actually I must say you had a very peaceful sleep."

"Well thank you. I guess."

"Oh no. Thank you" He said with a wicked smile. "Hit the shower Swan, we need to make it on time. Carlisle said the volvo threat was good for the whole week."

"Nice. Nothing spells success like going to school freshly deflowered." He chuckled.

"And so Forks High Purity Club loses two more members."

"Tragic. Anyways. Give me some privacy. I'll be downstairs in 20."

"Okay. See you then."

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The day went by as usual and I was glad that nothing had seemed to change. I had not turned into the damsel in distress waiting for Edward to saved her. I looked at him and saw my friend and not a boy I had a crush on. I did wonder if Edward's theory of how easy it is to spot sexual gratification in a girl the morning after. I knew he was full of shit and knowing Edward, I knew that the trick was on convincing us women of it, to make us blush and give it all away. I was better than that, and he knew it.

During biology though my mind started to wonder and I came to the realization that my best friend's DNA was still roaming free in me. Weird. I looked at him and thought that there were no longer secrets, not forbidden places in each other. And I started wondering what it would be like at night. Would he come to my bed or was it the end of us spending our nights together?

He did come to my bed that night. And every night for the next few weeks. This was something new and mysterious that we were more than willing to explore. It was less awkward than that first night, and it was different. He didn't kiss me again, we had set an unspoken rule about kissing, somehow it was too intimate to share. I could look into his eyes in the dark while he penetrated me, but I could not stand the idea of us kissing, it made me feel too vulnerable, too exposed. It was almost ironic. And also, kissing seemed so romantic, it felt too hypocritical.

We spent countless nights exploring, feeling, probing, tasting. we were now, well versed on how to play each others bodies. He knew how to come to my bed and embrace me from behind, snaking his hands under my tank top, tenderly brushing my breasts. I liked the way my body molded to his, and very lightly rubbed my backside against him. I could always make him gasp. He would place his lips on the nape of my head and make me shiver, alternating the massage of my breast with his left hand with the rubbing of my ass with his right.

Before long clothes had been pulled and shifted, we no longer waited for full nudity, it was more practical to just get them out of the way. I found out, though I never shared it with him, that this made me more aroused, the idea of not being completely nude, of him just exposing certain areas, of knowing that it was nothing but sex, not rushed, but secret and kinky.

He no longer asked for permission before entering me. I always liked that first penetration, the sensation of being full, and then he would find his tempo, I could not name the feeling, but there was something about the feeling of being taken, tamed somehow. It was no longer possible to ignore that we were man and woman. For the first time I fully realized how strong he was, now that he could flip us quite easily, he made me feel weightless the way he maneuvered me. Unable to quiet our moans of release with kisses I would bury my mouth on his shoulder, now a little bruised from a couple times I've bitten him, unable to control the powerful explosion in my core. Feeling him pour himself inside of me.

Hours later in school, we may not talk about it, but I still feel his warmth inside. I walk the hallways of school knowing that he's been inside me, that he has left traces in my body of him. I wonder if he can smell himself on my, if like me he has flashes our encounters, if he feels the tingling I feel inside sometimes when I remember. If his mind betrays him suddenly and thinks of me as his woman rather than his friend.

In the back of my mind there is a dread: I've done something terrible. I got us in this terrible hell, that we won't be able to scape. That things have been changed, that I've killed something pure. But I know I don't want to stop. I can't tell what is going on, what this means, I don't want to think about it, I don't want to analyze my feelings. I don't want to accept the fact that we can not keep this up. But I'll keep waiting for him in my bed, or going to his. I cannot stop it. I'm not strong enough for now. I'm enjoying our explorations, my explorations of him, but mostly I think, I enjoy getting to know myself.

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