Thank you for reading and reviewing and all of that good stuff. I really am having way too much fun writing this story :)

I smile as Maya starts a new column titled 'F.E.' right next to the one labeled 'EMILY'. "E-F-F-Y," I say.

"Hmm?" She turns her eyes to me.

"Effy. It's spelled E-F-F-Y."

"That's weird."

I shrug. "It's my story."

"That's even weirder than just F.E."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is. I thought maybe F.E. was her initials or something," She says as she flips the pencil around and erases the column's title.

I snort with laughter. "I'm not going to make it that easy to figure out who your mummy is."

She writes out the new title and smirks as she says, "If you were dumb enough to get drunk and try to skateboard in a carpeted hallway, you obviously aren't clever enough to think up good fake names."

"I was eighteen. Everyone is an idiot at that age."

"I can't believe you got drunk so much, Mum."

"Fine. Be disappointed in me. Instead of drinking I'll just say I was… tying my laces."

Maya scoffs. "Tying your laces?"

"It was the first thing I thought of," I say defensively.

"If that's the best you can do I'll know who my Mummy is in no time."

I roll my eyes. "Do you want me to be honest or not?"

"Yes. I need all the facts if I'm going to figure this out."

I watch her as her eyes stay focused on the paper, writing down more notes and I smile to myself. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Happy," She answers simply and without a second thought. Her pencil stops moving and she lifts her head up, gazing out into space. "And good. I want to be good and help people and I think that would make me happy."

My heart swells and I sit up, pulling her into a tight hug. "We did good with you, didn't we?"

"Muuum," She whines into my shoulder, "I can't breathe." I squeeze her even tighter and place a kiss on the top of her head. "Seriously, Mum, you're suffocating me."

I release her with a heavy sigh. "Sorry. I just love you, is all." I ruffle her hair and she giggles.

"Even when I get in trouble at school?"

"Even when you get in trouble at school."

"I love you too," She says as she adjusts herself after my disheveling hug. "So, Effy. What happened with that?"

I chuckle and cross my legs, facing her on the bed. "Well, things got a little mental for the next couple of weeks. The end of the semester was coming up fast and Christmas break meant three weeks without any classes…"

"What do you mean you're going to Ireland?" Naomi screeched. "Who the bloody hell do you know in Ireland?"

"Kieran, love, you remember him?" Gina asked calmly.

"Kieran? My- my politics teacher?"

"Yes, dear, Kieran. We've been seeing each other and he invited me to spend Christmas with his family."

Naomi spluttered, wanting to say so many things but unable to form words for any of them. "W-w-why?" Was the only coherent thing she managed.

Gina sighed. "Because we're old and don't have the leisure of taking things as slowly as you kids these days do. We could be dead any day now."

Naomi rolled her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Mum. I just meant why do you have to go for almost a month? You'll be gone my entire break."

"He has family there he hasn't seen in years, Naomi. And I could use a good vacation in the countryside."

"So what am I supposed to do for Christmas?"

"Stay in school like a good daughter?"

"Jesus. Fine. Sacrifice your daughter's happiness so you can have a nice shag in the ever exotic Irish countryside."

"I plan to."

"Lovely. Have a wonderful time."

"I'm sure I will."

"Good."

"Naomi?"

"Yes, Mum?"

"I'm sending you something in the post. Don't open it until Christmas morning."

"I'll try to contain myself."

"Good. And don't be so stroppy. It's the holidays! You get to spend three weeks wandering around London doing whatever you want. Your life could be a lot worse."

Naomi sighed and started slowly spinning from side to side in her desk chair. "I don't know how much wandering I'll be able to do. I've got a couple big things to work on before the semester ends."

"Well three weeks is plenty of time to catch up and pull ahead. You'll be just fine, love. How's Emily doing?"

"Good. She's actually packing her duffel now."

"Oh, is she going home for Christmas?"

"No, she's spending two weeks with Allison. Out in the wilderness of Brighton."

Gina cooed over the phone. "Oh, that's a big step, going away together. Tell her I say congratulations and I hope it goes well."

"Mum says she hopes you hate it, have a horrible time and come back here to keep me company for the holiday," Naomi said with a serious face. Emily turned from the wardrobe and tossed a shoe at Naomi. "Hey!" Naomi yelled as she ducked out of the way and the shoe bounced off the wall behind her head.

"Thank you, Gina! I'm sure it will be lovely! I hope your holiday goes wonderfully, as well!" Emily called and resumed filling her duffel.

"Oh, she's a lovely girl. She really is. You could learn a thing or two from her, you know," Gina chided.

"You want her for a daughter instead? I'm sure she'd love it if you adopted her." Naomi grinned as Emily laughed.

"That's true, Gina! Adopt me! Save me from the torture of living with Naomi!"

Gina laughed heartily. "Oh, I remember well enough how troublesome you can be to live with. Tell her I'd be happy to rescue her."

"I'm not telling her that!" Naomi balked. "Do you two just want to carry on without me? Should I give the phone to Emily and just jump out of the window? Save you both the trouble of living with me?"

Emily shook with laughter and Gina clicked her tongue. "Now who's being dramatic? I have to go, and I am sorry I won't be able to see you over the holidays. I'll call you for New Year's though, alright?"

"Alright. Tell Kieran I said hi and I'm disgusted he's shagging my mother."

"I'm sure he'll be delighted to know you miss him."

Naomi chuckled. "Bye, Mum."

"Bye, love."

"So Gina's dating one of your teachers?" Emily asked as she stuffed a t-shirt into her duffel.

Naomi flipped her phone closed and placed it on her desk. "My politics teacher from college and you just stole my shirt."

"What? No I didn't."

"Yes, you did. That white one with the pig on it? Mine."

Emily stood up and narrowed her eyes at Naomi. "Bollocks. I wear that shirt to sleep."

"Yes, you wear it to sleep because you stole it from my side of the wardrobe. Three weeks ago, if I remember correctly."

Emily placed her hands on her hips. "Well you've never said anything before, so it's mine now by default."

"Now who's talking bollocks!" Naomi said with a laugh. "I don't mind you wearing it to sleep here, but you're not taking it on holiday."

"What's the difference of wearing it here and wearing it somewhere else?"

Naomi pushed out of the chair and stepped over to Emily. "The difference," She said slowly, bending down to pluck the shirt out of the duffel, "is that here it's just you and I sleeping. When you leave it'll be you and Allison and you'll be… doing things."

Emily rolled her eyes and chuckled. "If I do anything, I won't be wearing the shirt. I'm fairly certain I won't be wearing anything at all, actually."

Naomi tried to ignore the mental images that statement stirred within her. "But Mr. Gordo will be able to see," Naomi said, folding the shirt up neatly. "And that's the difference. He's an innocent pig and I'd like him to stay that way."

Emily watched as Naomi tossed the shirt onto her bed and then sat back down in her desk chair. Naomi folded her hands neatly in her lap and smiled an infuriatingly innocent smile. "Mental," Emily mumbled as she resumed packing. "You've gone completely mental, Naoms."

It was Monday night, four days after Christmas break started. The building was oddly quiet and Naomi decided to take advantage of the fact that there were only six people still on her floor to get as much coursework done as she could. She had been poring over a paper about the role women played in Britain's politics during and directly after the World Wars. She had written quite a bit, but the longer she stared at the books and notes and pages in front of her, the more the ache behind her eyes grew. She groaned and pushed the heels of her palms into her eyes as she leaned back in her chair, wishing she could just get her thoughts out. It felt like they were stuck in her head, banging against her skull and trying to get out.

A knock sounded against her door and she pushed away from her desk. "Oh, thank god." She stood up and crossed to the door. She opened it and her eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Eff, hey," She said, taking a step back to let her in.

Effy let her eyes roam around the room and Naomi was suddenly self-conscious. She kicked a dirty shirt under her bed and frantically looked around for anything else that should be removed from sight.

"Were you studying?" Effy asked, her eyes taking in the details of Naomi's desk.

"Trying to, at least. Think I managed about two sentences all day, though," She said with a slight roll of her eyes.

"Hmm, fancy a break?"

"Jesus, yes please," Naomi breathed, chuckling lightly. "It's been way too quiet around here the past few days."

"You miss her," Effy said bluntly and Naomi was slightly taken back.

"I think it's more just having someone here. My living spaces have never really been just me." Effy arched a brow and Naomi took it as a sign of interest. "My Mum used to let all sorts of people stay with us. Anyone, really, who didn't have anywhere else to go. I can't even tell you how many times I woke up with a stranger in my bed." A slow smirk tugged at Effy's lips and Naomi realized what she had just said. "Not, I mean, not in that way. Just… randoms. Always fully clothed."

"Right," Effy said slowly and the glint in her eyes made Naomi's mouth go dry. Naomi blinked furiously and looked around her room once more; searching for anything that she'd rather wasn't seen. Anything at all that kept her eyes off of Effy, who pulled the small bag off her shoulder and put it on Emily's desk. "I needed a bit of a break myself. Freddie went to his dad's and Cook went to visit his little brother. And I refuse," She said as she took a flask out of the bag, "to be stuck in that house with The Knob after an entire day at work." Effy unscrewed the cap and took a pull, holding it out to Naomi as she swallowed.

Naomi took the flask and just as she lifted it to her lips, the smell hit her. "Jesus, Effy. What's in this? It smells like petrol."

"Tastes like it, too. It's a specialty mix of mine. Go on. Drink up."

Naomi took a deep breath and lifted the flask back up to her lips. She threw it back and immediately started coughing as the liquid tore down her throat. "Jesus," She said between hacks, "it tastes like bleach."

Effy smiled and took the flask from her. "How would you know what bleach tastes like?"

"Because I'm pretty sure you just made me drink some," Naomi choked out before giving a particularly violent cough.

Effy chuckled as she stepped to Naomi's side and placed her right hand flat on the blonde's back. "Stand up straight. There you go. Now take a deep breath. Deeper. Good, now exhale. Slowly. Better now?" She asked with a smirk.

Naomi nodded slowly and her head swam. The strangest feeling spread through her body, making her toes and fingertips tingle. "What's in that?"

Effy slid her hand down Naomi's back as she stepped away. "It's a secret." In that moment, with a trail of fire burning down her spine and the look in Effy's eyes as she threw Naomi a smirk over her shoulder, Naomi wanted nothing more than to know Effy's secret. All of her secrets.

"Get changed," Effy demanded as she shoved the flask into the back pocket of her jeans and turned to face Naomi. "We're taking good old London Town by storm tonight."

It wasn't just that night. It was every night that week. Effy would show up at the same time every day with a flask full of venom and they would go out. She and Naomi would drink. They'd dance. They'd get free drinks and never have to wait in a queue. On the first night they were exhausted, drunk and feeling good. Naomi's room was closer than Effy's house. Every night that week Effy slept in Naomi's bed and Naomi slept in Emily's empty one. She fell asleep each night with her head full of Effy and her senses filled with Emily. Effy was always gone when Naomi woke up, but the smell of Emily's shampoo lingered.

On Wednesday Effy made a move. Not a big one, but big enough. They were dancing, face to face, and Effy took a step forward as she turned, pressing her back into Naomi. She grabbed Naomi's hands and placed them on her hips. On Thursday, they danced like that the whole night. Effy reached her arm back and around Naomi's neck, tangling her fingers in the blonde's hair. On Friday night, they did the same thing, with no space between them. Effy turned her head and pulled Naomi closer to her. Their mouths were an inch apart. All Naomi had to do was move her head that little bit and they'd be kissing. All she had to do was tilt her head, just lean forward, and kiss that infuriating, enigmatic smirk right off Effy's lips. She didn't. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't.

Saturday night she didn't either and she still didn't know why. She wanted to, she knew that. But she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She lied in bed for what seemed like hours, staring at the dark ceiling above her, listening to the soft, steady breathing coming from the bunk below her. She must have drifted off at some point, because when she woke up, she was alone in the room. Again.

Naomi was surprised that Effy had even stayed as long as she had each night. She knew Effy liked to fool around. Cook and Freddie made jokes and insinuations about it all the time. Even Effy would make comments, sometimes jokes but usually not, about her lack of interest in anyone. "No one is interesting these days," She would say with a bored shrug. Naomi figured that was the reason she was so hesitant with the girl. She didn't want to be just another notch in her bedpost. But then Effy would turn those penetrating blue eyes on her, and Naomi felt their interest. She knew Effy was intrigued by her, for some reason. Naomi could tell in the small shifts in Effy's features. Her eyebrow would rise slightly if Naomi said something that Effy wanted to know more about. Her lips would twitch when Naomi said something funny, and sometimes Effy would actually laugh. But it was those eyes, always those eyes, that gave her away. Naomi learned quickly how to read the subtle changes in their brightness. And they were always bright when they were looking at Naomi.

Naomi spent Sunday studying and talking to Gina on the phone. Ireland was beautiful. Kieran's family were some of the most glorious, mental bastards she had ever met and she loved them all instantly. Naomi thought about telling Gina about Effy, but decided against it. She wasn't sure what would come of it, and she didn't want her mother making a bigger deal out of it than it was. So she listened and laughed at the stories Gina was telling her and kept her mouth shut.

Monday was Christmas Eve. Effy showed up a little later than usual, flask in hand. Naomi took a drink and pulled her head back in surprise as she swallowed. "Vodka? Just vodka?"

Effy took the flask from her hand. "Just vodka."

Naomi chuckled. "Did you not feel like making a batch of your toxic specialty?"

Effy shrugged slightly. "Sure."

Naomi frowned. If it was even possible, Effy seemed quieter than usual. And she looked tired. Naomi watched carefully as she trailed her fingers over the smooth metal railing on the bed. "Are you-"

"Ready to go?" Effy interrupted, spinning around to face her.

"Huh? Y-yeah, yeah," Naomi said, confused. Effy nodded and headed out of the room. Naomi raised her eyebrows and followed a moment later.

Maya tries to hide her yawn by lifting the pad of paper in front of her face. "Do you want to go to sleep?"

She shakes her head. "I'm-I'm not tired," She says, clearly trying to contain another yawn.

"Yes, you are," I chuckle. She just shakes her head more. "We have the whole weekend for this story."

"I know, but I want to hear more now."

My nose scrunches up as I scrutinize her. "Just a bit more and then bedtime. Okay?"

She pouts, but when I make no sign of backing down, she sighs and scoots back against her pillows. "Okay."

Naomi's head jerked up, but a weight on her shoulder kept her body stationary. She blinked the sleep from her eyes and tried to clear the fog in her head. Effy's head was resting on her left shoulder and she was pressed firmly into Naomi's side. Naomi smiled to herself and craned her neck to look around. There were far less people than she remembered. They must have slept right through several station stops. Shit. "Eff," She said, giving the sleeping girl a gentle nudge. "Effy, wake up." Effy stirred and sat up, peering around her. "Eff, I think we slept through our stop. Or possibly got on the wrong train."

"Where are we?" Effy asked, craning her neck to look out the window. The tube seemed to be slowing down, the tunnel outside flashing past slower and slower. As they drew to a stop, Naomi watched Effy squint out the window and then she stood up suddenly. "The Embankment, come on. We can walk back from here."

"Because that doesn't sound daunting at all," Naomi muttered as she followed Effy off the train.

Effy smirked and glanced at Naomi as they climbed the stairs out of the station. "You don't travel well, do you?"

Naomi shook her head. "No, no, I'm excellent at travel. I always fall asleep on the Northern Line and end up an hour away from home in the middle of winter."

Effy pushed the door open and stepped out into the cold night air. "That's what the signs are for, you know."

"I've always been crap at reading the signs."

Effy's smirk grew and stretched to her eyes, lighting them up. "Need a lot of direction, do you? More obvious things? Like someone screaming in your ear what you should do?"

"Yep, that's me. Captain Oblivious," Naomi said proudly as she slipped her hands into the huge pockets of her overlarge coat.

"Good to know," Effy murmured, letting her feet deliberately carry her to Naomi's side. After ten minutes of walking in silence, Effy moved her hand, just a bit, and slid it into Naomi's pocket. Skin met skin, fingers slid between fingers, and Effy pulled their joined hands out, letting them hang in the small space between their sides. Both of their mouths twitched into tiny, identical smiles.

Effy didn't spend the night. Naomi slept in her own bed, which smelled like a strange and fascinating mixture of herself and something that could only be described as Effy. She fell asleep almost straight away.

Effy called Naomi in the morning and said her brother was driving in to spend Christmas and Boxing Day with her. Naomi asked if she wanted to do something over the weekend. Effy said sure. Naomi smiled. Effy smirked, knowing Naomi was smiling.

Naomi opened the small parcel from her mother. It contained two letters, one addressed to her, and one addressed to Emily. She tossed the letter for Emily onto her desk and pulled out her present. And then sneered at her present. Two rolled up wooly things rested in the palm of her hand. They were grey with random pink splotches on them. Naomi laid them down on her desk and opened the letter.

"Happy Christmas, Love! Guess what? I've started knitting! Apparently having your only child abandon you for the bright lights of London will leave a mother with a surprising amount of free time. I'm not very good yet, but I can do socks! I put pigs on them. (I know they're your favourite, though I can't understand why.) Make sure Emily gets her letter as well. Oh, and I've included a cheque. Feel free to use it for necessities (although I'm sure you'll just get yourself and all your mates pissed off it for New Year's.) Try to behave and study hard. I'll see you in April for your Easter break! Also, I know a lovely woman in the city who runs a wonderful organization. You should give her a call about some volunteer work. I know you don't want to work so you can focus on your studies, but it might be good for your soul to help others in your spare time. I've included her number. It's…

Naomi folded the letter and tucked it under her desk lamp. Her eyes landed on the grey lumps on her desk. Socks, ay? She picked one up and examined it. There wasn't a hole. Gina had knitted the opening shut. Naomi rolled her eyes and rolled the socks back up. She stood up, crossed to her wardrobe, and tossed them into one of the drawers before slamming it shut.

Emily came back into the city with the flood the day after Boxing Day. She kicked open the door to their room and Naomi almost fell out of her chair in surprise. "Jesus Christ! You know they put a handle on those things for a reason, right?"

"Felt like getting a bit of stress out," Emily grunted as she threw her duffel at the wardrobe.

Naomi placed her pencil in her book to mark her page and shut it. "Are you alright?"

"Fine! I'm fine!" Emily said and Naomi was alarmed by how high-pitched her voice got. "Perfect, apparently!"

"Funny, you don't sound fine."

Emily was fuming as she started tearing through the contents of her bag. "She loves me! She fucking loves me. Brought me down to the coast and it was beautiful. I love the sea in winter, it seems so, so, wild and unruly. There was even a bit of snow! It melted before it even hit the ground, but still! And then she goes and tells me that she fucking loves me and ruins it all!" Emily threw a shoe into the wardrobe and Naomi cringed as she heard the distinct sound of wood splintering. Emily was a lot stronger than she looked.

"I wasn't aware that your girlfriend telling you she loves you is such a… problem," Naomi said carefully, turning fully to face her.

"It fucking is when I couldn't say it back!" Emily shouted as she stood up fully.

They stared at each other in silence for a full minute. Emily was silent out of frustration and Naomi was silent out of wonder. Because Emily looked wild and unruly. Like the sea in winter. Or at least that's how she assumed it looked; she'd never seen the sea in winter. But there was a storm in Emily's eyes that stopped Naomi's lungs from working properly. She cleared her throat. "You don't love her?"

"I… I… I have no idea," Emily breathed as she rolled her eyes in exasperation. Her hair was pulled back and she ran her fingers through a few stray strands, pushing them behind her ear as she took a deep breath.

"What did you tell her?"

Emily dragged her eyes to Naomi's. She blinked slowly. "I told her 'Thanks'."

"Thanks?"

"Thanks," Emily nodded.

"Oh god," Naomi said right before she burst out in a fit of laughter. Emily stood stock still for a moment before laughter exploded out of her as well.

After their laughter had died down, Naomi reached across her desk and grabbed the letter Gina had written for Emily. "Oh, here. Mum sent this for you."

Emily dropped the hoodie that was in her hands and stepped over her duffel to take the letter from Naomi. She sat down on the edge of Naomi's bed as she slipped her finger under the envelope's flap. Naomi watched as Emily pulled out, unfolded and read the letter inside. The smaller girl broke out in a huge smile, and then as her eyes scanned back and forth across the paper in her hands, the smile faded and a furrow creased her brow. Emily's eyes reread the end of the letter. She took a deep breath in through her nose and stood up, carefully sliding the letter back into the envelope.

"What did she say?" Naomi asked as Emily placed one foot on the railing by Naomi's mattress, hoisted herself up, and slid the letter into her own pillowcase.

She jumped down and with a shrug went back to her half-unpacked duffel. "She wants me to make sure you don't take the piss about her knitting skills."

Naomi glanced to her left as Emily's phone went flying into a pile of clothes that needed to be washed. She looked over her shoulder at Emily, who was reading a book, completely focused as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. "You'll need to talk to her eventually," Naomi said as the phone continued to ring, the sound dampened by the clothes. She turned back to her pile of notes.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Nope."

"Yep."

"Nope."

"Do you want to break up with her? Because you should at least tell her that."

"Nope."

"So you want to stay with her then?"

"Nope."

"Jesus, you're impossible."

"Yep."

"Look, I'm going out with Effy tonight and I want you to have your shit sorted by the time I get back. Or at least take a step towards getting your shit sorted."

"You're going out with Effy? Maybe I'll come, I could use the distraction."

Naomi lifted her head and stared at the wall above her desk. "Uh…"

"What, you don't want me to come? Won't Panda and everyone be there?"

"Uh…"

"Wait… wait, when you say 'going out'…"

"As in she and I are going out tonight."

"…Oh. I didn't know you were interested in her."

"Yeah."

An awkward minute passed and Naomi turned her head at the sound of Emily climbing out of bed. Her feet landed softly on the ground and she walked over to the pile of clothes, digging around in it until she pulled out her phone. "What are you doing?"

"Calling my girlfriend to sort my shit out," Emily said as she padded across the room and out the open door.

"…Oh. Good." Naomi said to an empty room.

Effy had taken Naomi to a cabaret. Of sorts. There was a haunting band. There were dancers performing stories that went perfectly with the music. Naomi could feel every emotion they were portraying. Her blood ran with excitement, betrayal, pain, loss, laughter and what could only be called darkness. She spent just as much time watching Effy watch the show as she did watching it herself. She couldn't help it. Seeing Effy so enthralled was enthralling in and of itself. Whenever Naomi caught herself staring, she would quickly turn her attention back to the stage. This was something Effy obviously connected with, and Naomi wanted to connect with it, too. And she did.

One pitcher of sangria turned into two turned into three turned into a fire under Naomi's skin. Naomi's heart sped and fell with the drums. At one point it stopped beating completely and she felt like she was hanging, suspended in midair. She was only brought back down by the hand sliding up her thigh under the table. It stayed there for the rest of the show.

They had their first kiss on New Year's. It was a giant piss up. Cook had carried Naomi around on his back for the better part of the night as they all wandered from pub to pub. They sang, they laughed, Cook tripped and sent them both toppling to the ground. Effy smiled as they rolled around laughing on the ground and Freddie had a spliff lit and ready when they finally got to their feet. Cook squatted down and Naomi hopped right back on top of him as if nothing had happened, her chin resting on his shoulder and her eyes gleaming as she grinned at Effy. Cook got into a fight with a random bloke who tried to start some sort of shit with Freddie, saying he had bumped into him. Effy and Naomi each grabbed one of his hands and pulled him away, Freddie pushing at his back saying, "It's not worth it, mate." Ten minutes later it was forgotten as they had a celebratory shot at the next pub on their make-shift list.

Freddie and Cook ducked into an alley to take a piss and Naomi sprawled out on a bench next to Effy. Naomi's mouth was stretched into a content, drunken smile as her eyes fought to focus on Effy. They didn't have to fight hard. It was almost impossible not to focus on Effy, especially when her eyes were dancing like that. Naomi jerked forward, throwing her arm across the back of the bench and slightly around Effy's shoulders. "You're rather beautiful, do you know that?"

"You're drunk," Effy replied, smirking as she lit a cigarette.

"You are too."

"Nowhere near as bad as you."

"Hmm. Doesn't matter. You're still beautiful," Naomi grinned.

Effy locked her eyes onto Naomi's as she took a drag off her fag, studying her. Naomi felt a heat spread through her cheeks as Effy blew the smoke out. Naomi's eyes dropped to Effy's lips, saw them turn up into a smirk, and she swallowed. Effy leaned forward and kissed her. It was simple, without pretense or preamble. There was no lead up and no after. It was Effy making the first move, as she'd done before and would do again, and when they finally pulled apart, Naomi's right hand held Effy's head, her thumb tracing ghostly caresses across her cheek. Effy's eyes burrowed into Naomi's. "Next time it's you." Even through the fuzz in her brain caused from alcohol and weed, Naomi knew what she meant.

When the countdown finally came, Naomi grabbed Effy's hips and guided their bodies together. Not out of obligation to kiss at midnight, but to show Effy that if this turned into anything, which she hoped it would, Effy wouldn't need to instigate everything. She could make a move, too. And so she did.

Naomi was the first one to slip a hand under the other's shirt. Effy was the first to remove the other's shirt entirely. And Naomi, on the night of her final exam and the end of her first semester in mid-January, with Emily nowhere in sight, was the first to slip a hand between the other's legs. Over Effy's jeans. On Naomi's bed. In Naomi's room. And Effy was still gone by morning.

I lift the pad of paper off of Maya's lap and gently pull the pencil from between her fingers. I set them onto her bedside table, right next to the glass of water. As carefully as I can, I lift her legs and pull the covers out from under them. She gives a light murmur in her sleep and rolls onto her side, tucking her knees up to her chest. I smile as I lift the covers and pull them up over her small form. I gently brush some hair out of her face and kiss her temple. She hums in her sleep and I fight back a laugh at just how fucking adorable she is. I reach my hand over to shut off the lamp and freeze. Maya's notepad, the top page of which is completely filled with her scrawl, is staring up at me. Begging me to read. I want to know what she thinks of the story so far. I want to know what she thinks of it all, because telling these stories back, my head has become a bit of a mess. I'm thinking about and feeling things I haven't thought or felt in years and it's unsettling me. I suddenly want to just skip to one specific part of the story. One part that would explain… not everything, but quite a lot. A lot that I haven't been able to explain to her properly. Ever. But I know she would never let me, and even if she did, the story wouldn't make sense without everything leading up to that event. I stare at her notes, not seeing a word of it, just the shapes of her handwriting, and it stares right back at me. I shut the lamp off and quickly leave her room, pulling the door shut behind me.